[New Years Revolution]'s diary

480434  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-01-25
Written: (7219 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        I still feel as shitty as... shit!
Niomi: Great use of words.
Kari: Thanks^-^
Niomi: She never understands sarcasime, does she?
Kari: What was that?
Niomi: Nothing at all.
I'm been blowing my nose and coughing up crap all day *sighs* What the heck am I gonna do when I go back to school? *sighs* Oh crap! What about the Science project?! Mom's gonna freak if she finds out I haven't even started... man, this sucks! I bet none of you guys have to do this dumb science fair thing.
Everyone: Actually we do.
Kari: Shut up! I wanna be right!
Niomi: For once...
Kari: Shut up you...
Joey: Are you guys even brothers?
lol, I found that mood funny for some reason. Joey got his face whooped^-----------^
Ok, I gotta go now. Stupid nose! Curse you! I bet I could smell without you any day!
Niomi: What would you smell with? Your eye?
Kari: WILL YOU GO AWAY?!
Niomi: Loser...
Ok, I have to go now.
Kari

479942  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-01-24
Written: (7220 days ago)

I feel shitty!
Oh so shitty!
I feel shitty, and whitty, and giddy!!!!
Oh wait, did I just say that out loud? That was suppose to be in a thought bubble=^-^=
Dear Diary,
        I'm not AS deprssed anymore. Actually, I'm not at all. But the whole day I've felt like crap. I have been up since 3a.m. in the morning, doesn't anyone care?1 lol, jk, I know you all care. Cause your all nice people!:) Wow, I really sound stupid when I'm trying to make a long diary entry, don't I? Well, it all started when I was 3 and-
Niomi: Ok, we are NOT going into a depressing story of your life!
Kari: I was gonna say when I was 3 I had a cookie^o^
Niomi: You're hopekless-_-U
Well, I have to go. Stupid runny nose>.<
Kari

478406  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-22
Written: (7222 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        Long time no see... I guess. I'm a sick as a dog, and when I was walking around, waiting to get my medicine, my body hurt a lot. My head was on fire and the rest of my body was aching. I just sat down on the ground, I'm usually the person who gets embarrassed easily, even by the stupidest things, anbd I hate it when people stare at me. Well, I sat on that ground for about 30 minutes, letting every single person stare at me, but I didn't. I was so sick, it hurt, and I just wanted to die so bad. Dying would've been the only thing to get the pain away. But I guess that would be kind of cowardly, no? I have always been coward. Whenever me and Kura would have a huge fight, I'd cry. I'd cry for a very long time till I found out she wasn't hurt by it at all. Am I just too weak? I feel like an asshole, I feel unloved. I just want people to listen to me sometimes, so I can feel important. But the thing is, I can;t be. Knowledge is power, everyone knows that, but the fact that my friends are all super geius's, I guess I just can't be important at all. I know, both Camille, Kura, and probably the rest of my friends on efltwon would say I am important! I am loved! They would yell it so hard if they could so they could show me that they meant it. But it just won't suit me. I require a lot of love, and needless to say, I guess I would tell someone my whole life just so they would feel soory for me. Most people don't want that, I do. I never got to be a kid, I never got to be much loved even though my grandfather was obsessed with me and my mother loves me from hell to kingdom come, and my grandmother thinks I'm the greatest thing she ever had. But it's just not the same. I say I want love, and then when I get it, I feel like I don't deserve it at all. Wehn I'm crying, when I'm down, people ask if I'm alright. What do I say? "Oh course I am" When I'm not. And they just walk away, they never turn back to make sure. Even if they did, I would still tell them I was alright. I wouldn't be. For some reason, I shut people out when I cry and feel lowest of low, but I don't let people help me. I'm complicated. I have always BEEN complicated. But people still treat me like a regular person, and just show a little more love. No, I'm not a normal person. I use to really think I was special, and most of you will say I am. "Kari, one day you'll be on TV, and all the people who ever made fun of you will see you and go 'OMG! Look! There's HiKari! I knew her before!'" that's what my mom would always tell me. But quite francillay, the fact that people always say I have a problem, or call me a dreamer, or call me stick because I'm really skinny, it just sayhs negatitive to everything my mother use to tell me. Well, anyway, I'm still waiting. Waiting to know if Kura will ever log on. Waiting to see if Camille could finally come over. Waiting to know if I could ever go back to California. Waiting to know if I'll ever become famous. Waiting to know if I'll get married to my boyfriend in the furture. Waiting to know if I'll get a happy ending. Waiting to know if this is all worth wild and I'm just stuck in the past.
Well, that's it.
Kari 

471638  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-15
Written: (7230 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        I am so depressed. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was a better friend... a better sister... to the people who really deserve kindness, not me. I'm so weak... and Kura had said in her drawing book that if your weak... you die. But I guess that'll just have to be the end of me, I'll just have to die, because the truth is, even though I HATE the fact of it, I am nice. I am incredibly kind, it's like my nature, and I can't run away from it. Most people would say being nice is a gift of some sort, it's not. It's like a table that's legs aren't hooked together. When someone throws a insult at you, you don't have a barrier, it hits right at your heart. And your heart shatters, and you have the put the pieces of it back together again. I've done that... many times, it takes longer now-a-days to do it. I've cried so many times, I've tried to tell myself to stop, that it only means weakness, that I don't need to cry, but just trying to kept it in, hurts the aching of my shattered heart, and I find I must cry to stop the pain. But maybe I should be in pain. I mean, crying at school obviously shows that NO ONE cares about me, not even my boyfriend and so called 'best friend' who's not really my best friend anymore. SHE'D rather blow me off than be MY friend. So what's the use? Maybe it's the fact that I'm nice that is always hurting me. I wish I could be more like Kura, who doesn't break down as easily, who knows what to do and say, who has walls to protect her, who's tough. Me? I'm as tender as fresh dirt. I can get stepped on easily. Why do I even TRY to make it look like I know what to do, WHY do I even try to make it look like everything's ok. Because in my book... it'll never be ok. And to me...
I'm always trying to put my heart back together.
Kari

453593  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-23
Written: (7252 days ago)
Next in thread: 453763

Dear Diary,
        I wasn't gonna write in you, I didn't in care to write in you right now. But Kura's latest diary inspiring me alot. I don't know, but her actually seeing what I wrote almost a year ago almost made life worth living for. As I told Kura only last night, the simplest things are special, or mean some to you. Even the simplest of events are worht telling someone, even fi you don't know the reason... wow, I actually seem smart right there. Let's see what, did ya'll miss. Well, Decemeber 17th I totally rocked the Christmas concert with my solo, I've found a great new friend, username is deep in thought(you are so awesome!), I have finally told TK how I have flet for the past 3 years, I love my Nicky, and there's only 5 days left till I see the one person in my life that makes everything brighter!!! MY SISTER KURA!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kari

437578  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-12-08
Written: (7268 days ago)
Next in thread: 439597

Dear Diary,
        This week hasn't been my week. My cut is now disgusting and black. I now have strepe throat. My mom says I'm not healthy and my bro is being a real smart alic. I'm so... annoyed. What a crappy diary entry... not like anyone reads these diary entries anyway...
See ya!
Kari

434329  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-12-04
Written: (7271 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        I guess you deserved today to be the day to be talked to. Hm... what to say first. Oh, it's Nicky's birthday, yay... and, oh yes, the high school placement test was ok(even thought it wasn't like the other standerize test where it's like "How do you spell truck?") And... oh yes... WHERE ARE YOU KURA?!?!?!? You havent talked to me in, like, forever.
Dylan: Actually, only 2 days.
Kari: You shut up!
Dylan: Ok, when you want me to ruin your day, just give me a card *hands Kari hbuisness card and runs off*
Kari: -._-.U
Anywayz, yeah, Im trying not to overracted over this, but anyway. I should at least TRY and stay cool, ya know?
Dylan: Heres an ice cub!
Kari: DYLAN!
Dylan: Gone now! *runs off*
Anyway, before I get anymore into this, I'm just gonna say goodbye, and see ya later.
Kari

430452  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-12-01
Written: (7275 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        Ok, first of all, Kura's older sister Reachel, or however the hell you spell her name hates me for, like, no reason. And she says I'M not punk. What the hell, she's a fuckin' prep, how would SHE know PUNK? Loser bitch... anywayz. Yeah, I told Kura basically my whole life, and how life doesn't exactly pass me like other people, and now it's really starting to haunt me. (Like nothing ever days? Every fuckin' day that passes haunts me) Not to meantion I'm totally afraid of Thrusday cause we have the High School Placement test, and it's like the first big test thingy we're going to be taking. I'm so scared. Everyone else has been studying, and me, I'm relaying on faith and God. Yeah, pretty pathetic huh? Well, Mom did say that everything happens for a reason, and if it's God will for me to fail, maybe there's something better for me in the future. Yeah... My last year in my school. I had practically almost forgotten. Last year of Nicky being annoying. Last year of Joseph calling me weird. Last year of laughing at nothing with TK. Last year of never fitting in. But hey, maybe there was something better outside of St. Rita's. Maybe a school that's not full of snobs. Maybe... but hey, right now I'm just concentrating on the days passing quickly so me and Kura can be reunited. Sure, most people would be a little concerned that the fast that thier older sistre's older sister hates them and mgiht pull soemthing, but hey, I'm different from most people, now aren't I? Plus, her preppy ass can't beat me AND the best big sister in the world. And if that's not true, I know I've got a bunch of guys willing to stuff themselves into a sweat bag and fly over to Indiana to beat her up. Cause I've got all 5 of my bros, Skyler, Nicky, Josh (Go Joshy!^-^), Maybe Joseph if I'm lucky^-^
Well, gotta go.
Kari

427151  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-11-27
Written: (7278 days ago)

Vienna
By Billy Joel
(The song I sang for auditons^-^)
*piano intro.*
Slow down you crazy child...
You're so ambitious for a juvinile.
But then if you're so smart
Tell me why are you still so afriad?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better, cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do
And only so many hours in a day
Hey, hey ,hey
But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
Your gonna
Kick off before you even get halfway through...
Uw.
When will you realize?
Vienna waits for you.
Slow down, your doin' fine
You can't be everything you wanna be before your time
Althought it's so romantic on the boardorline
Tonight... tonight
Too bad, but it's the laugh you lead
Your so ahead of yourself, that you forgot what you need
Thought you can see when your wrong
You know your can't always see when your right...
You right
You got your passion!
You got your pride!
But don't you know that only FOOLS are satisfied?
Dream on!
But don't imgine they'll all come true...
Uw.
When will you realize?
Vienna waits for you...
*Italian music*
Slow you crazy child
And take the phone off the hook
And disappear for a while
It's alright, you can't afford to lose a day or two
Uw.
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you...
And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what ya want!
Or you can just get old
Your gonna
Kick off!
Before you even get halfway... through
Uw.
When will you realize?
Vienna... waits for you...
*piano ending*
Kari

427058  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-11-27
Written: (7278 days ago)

Dear Diary,
     Ok, maybe feeling a *little* better since yesterday. I have totally gotten over what I had just wrote yesterday, even though I know it's true. Hm... what else? Oh yes, like the fact I keep continuelessly updating my diary, yet, no one really reads it till I tell them. And it sort of annoyed me how none of my friends updated their's. Ok, it's not like I'm mad at them or anything it's just, here I am spilling my guts to a virtual book all my friends can read, and they have kept everything to themsleves. Ok, wiat, it's not that way. Now I'm making myself look noisy. Alright... how to put this? Oh yes, it is not that I'm noisy, it's just that I'm concerned. You know? I just wanna be updated on my friend's lives so I can keep up with when thier happy or sad. And help them out when thier sad. Like... um... a double mom... or something. Anywayz, saw 'The Incredibles' it was as great as Ryan had foretold, and I got Nicky a present. His B-day's on Friday, and I'm gonna make him the grreatest card he'lll ever get! (and his present ain't half bad ether^-^)
See ya!
Kari

425901  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-11-26
Written: (7279 days ago)
Next in thread: 425978

Dear Diary,
        Last night, I realized the truth. And as one of my very wise friends had said, 'The truth can be a good thing... but sometimes it can lead to pain' And he was right, and realizing the truth about my family and my situation just got me into the deepest of depressions. Nicky had always told me how sorry he felt for me when I would tell him about my life, or my story. Like the fact that my father doesn't give a damn about me. And the fact that every night I would sit alone on my bed while my brothers get my dad all to themselves. And it even happens at my mom's house. I could sit on my bed for hours, they wouldn't know I was there. They'd forget me. I just... I just realized how alone I am. My sister in Indiana, my best friend in Maryland. And all I have in return are 5 brothers who don't even care. Just to feel someone intentionally hug me, someone I really love, it would feel like all my problems were gone. All of them were gone. But no, I still must wait. Must I wait all my life? *sigh* I don't know. I don't even know why I'm telling you this.
Kari

425248  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-11-25
Written: (7280 days ago)
Next in thread: 425588

Dear Diary,
        Kura told me that we should forgive and forget, and just get on with our lives. Well, while Kura gets on with her life, I get stuck behind with this... incident. I mean, it felt like she was apart of me. Not just someone who was real to Kura. I find myself still checking her e-mail address, although I know no one will e-mail. Ever... I don't know why, now I want to put this person in my manga. It's like she won't leave me alone. Like she really was real, a strange spirit out to haunt me. I really wanna forget everything, I really do. But the pain I caused my sister because of her still comes back to me. I can't get any sleep anymore, and I don't think it's just because I have dreams about vampires with braces who eat my hand. *Sighs* Uh... Kura's gonna get mad I brought this up again. I guess it's only the truth, and I'm admitting myself to telling all the truth to everyone.
Kari

420354  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-11-21
Written: (7284 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        I can't stop thinking about going to Indiana this Christmas to see Kura again and for a whole week. I just can't keep it in, after Thanksgiving, all I have to do is wait till after Christmas. I hope it'll just hurry up soon cause I just gotta see Kura soon. Reading all thses fics about Mokuba and Seto makes me think of my Imoto-sama. *whines* Uh... I hope December will come soon. I just can't wait that long. Well, I guess nether than most people. I felt pretty good yesterday when Patrick told me how great he thought I was for giving up my chirstmas and birthday to see a friend. I told him Kura was, and would always be more than a friend. She was my sister... my Imoto-san.
Kari

420367  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-11-18
Written: (7284 days ago)
Next in thread: 420939

Dear Diary,
        It's hard to put what had happened on Monday behind me. It really is. Kura insisted on taking half the blame, when all of it was my fault. I lied to her. I took away the person she could believe it. I tried telling her it was for her own good, but now that I look at it, it sort of wasn't. I didn't believe in my sister, well, actually, I did. I don't know what came over me when I made that person, but the person was real to the one person I couldn't be to. Kura... she's someone you can't forget. It's been nearly 4 months since I last saw her, and only for a few hours. But images of when we first wrapped our arms around each other still blink in my mind. Because I knew she was MY sister. MINE. I've never had much hope in ever GETTING a sister, due to the fact I have so many brothers. But there she was, a pure angel I tell you. She was a bit strange, I can tell ya that, not really open to most people, and a little imature(who isn't?) but... there was something different about her. About all the other people I knew or had only talked to for a second. Yes, she was much different from them. She was kind-hearted, pure. And someone I could call... someone real. People like Kura or Camille come around once in a life-time. People say that you can have tons of friends, but only 5 out of all of them will be someoen you'll have a relationship all your life. Looks like I've got 2 already. 2 really great friends.
Kari

415282  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-11-16
Written: (7289 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        I'm going to adition for the school singing group thing. I don't know what to do. Kura and Camille say I'm awesome, it's just... I got a real embarressing thing going on. I can't even sing to my friend OVER the phone without being nervous. So dude, what kind of singer is that? I always use to sing. When I was little, I always thought I would get famous. But that the only problem was, I would be so scared to sing in front of thousands of people. I'm gonna have to get over myself real quickly before Thursday. Wish me luck everyone...
Kari

381897  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-10-16
Written: (7320 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        Guess what happened yesterday? Yep, another crazy friend of mine has joined Elftown. We're now the ~*PuNk FaIrY*~ trio!^^ But this is another specialiful friend, KURA!
She's my best friend AND my sister!
Kura/Kari: Aren't we special??
Yeah, anyway, gotta go.
Kari

377610  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-11
Written: (7325 days ago)

Dear Diary,
        Yet another friend has come onto elftown. Aren't I special?? Anyway, she has to be THEE coolest friend ever. And even though the crappy piece of shit school that I go to doesn't like her, she's the best friend a girl could ask for. And she's Cami!
Camille: *growls*
Kari: I mean Camille! Jk^_~
Camille: Yay!^^
Anyway, she's been my ultimate best friend since 4th grade when she left my school after one year!
Camille: Aren't I special?^_~
Anyway, we love music, and someday our band will be FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, FAMOUS! In ur face Carly!
Anyway, she's been with me though thick and thin, and I'd like to say I'm proud of that. Camille, thanks for being an AWESOME with a Capital A, friend. Love yas buddy!!!^-^
Kari
"Friends are friends from the heart, may they be closer than ever"

361176  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-24
Written: (7342 days ago)

http://uk.geocities.com/smurfydancinfool/maincharacters.html
Dear Diary,
        Sorry just trying to see if it would go to the site. It took me forever to get this exact url. If you wanna check it out, go ahead. It's just pics of YGO. Anyway, I'm really pissed at my mom. Like, really pissed. And she feels SO bad about it. Well, she shoulda thought about that before reuined my life, shouldn't she have? Yep, life suckx and I always feel like crying now-a-days. Not ot mention my parents want to send me off to Siva learning center. Well, they can't make me! I'll run away just as they drive away home. I'll hide out in a Mcdonalds till I have to walk home, and they won't ever teach me a thing!
Ok, sound spretty stuoid, but I'm not gonna stand by and let people push me around!
Bye!
Kari

359639  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-23
Written: (7344 days ago)
Next in thread: 359660

Dear Diary,
        Ok, so someone actually does read my diary. Too bad he spends all his time laughing at it...
Kari: *glares at Dylan*
Dylan: What? It's fuckin' funny!
Yeah, he curses alot, but that's why he's my friend, right... right??
Dylan: Who said you were my friend?
Random guy: I did!
Dylan: DIE! *takes out stick*
Random guy: How are you gonna kill me with that?
Dylan: *takes off top, turns into light saber*
Random guy: OH no!
Dylan: *about to kill guy when batteries fall out* Oh shit...
Random guy: Ha!
Dylan: Ha! But I have durasell! *holds up pack of baterries*
Random guy: Oh fuck this! *stomps off*
Kari: Huh... that's my life... *sweatdrops*
Dylan: Batteries are great! *hugs batteries*
Kari

342468  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-09-04
Written: (7362 days ago)
Next in thread: 360544

Dear Diary (or pretty much T.K.),
        That was really nice, truely, but it doesn't exactly anwser my question. You see, everyone says I'm a great friend and all that other crap, but there's part 2 of my question; how am I a good friend? I mean, any other friend can be goofy, or can be crazy, have fun, and like the same stuff. I mean, isn't that what friends are for? So, why does everyone seem to think I'm, like, the greatest friend ever? I'm just a normal kid (well, I think) So, why?
Kari

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