You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either lost somebody you love or somebody broke you heart so bad that you can't pick up the shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You think nobody can heal your wounds but don't stop looking because you never know who loves you enough to try hell the one special guy could be right infornt of your eyes and you don't even know it.You also love to day dream because it seems like the only place that makes you happy.BBut little do you know that people all around you are trying to make you happy and you won't let them in fearing you'll get another heartbreak or get hurt worse.But just try and if things go wrong just brush it off and try again.It never hurts to try.

I think this would describe me the best. The best nickname I got out of St.Rita's in the 9 years I went eher was "Dreamer" I never use to pay attention in class, and whenever the teacher would call on me, my body would be in class, but my mind was somewhere else. Everyone would laugh at the fact that I was never there, so they called me "Dreamer" Kura never abused this fact when I told her, instead, she made it like it was something to be proud of. She's the best big sister in the world, and today she turned 16.
So happy birthday sis, I love you.
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I have no idea why I made that last entry, but oh well! Damnit, I have a crush on Nicky.... AGAIN! We're suppose to be over, but then I had this damn dream and-UG! Love is weird, I don't even know if he likes me anyway. Oh well, doesn't matter, I'll just deal with it. Besides, it is love^_~ Alright, so our school is having a talent show for the first time in all of history. I can do a solo and show everybody how good I am^^ lol, I just don't know what I should sing. I might do "Vienna" cause it reminds me of my home country Italy, lol, I'm just kidding with ya. Italy is just where a lot of my mom's side of the family lives... other than Ireland, France, Australia, Canada, and, well, you get the point>.< Which reminds me, I'm goin' to Ireland in August!! That is SO cool. I'll get to see all my cool cousins again, and show them how cool I have become. (P.S: I hate being the youngest cousins!!!>o<) Dodododododo.... what else is there to say? Oh yeah, I'm gonna graduate this year. From dumb ol' St.Rita's, where I wasted 9 years of my life in misery and pain. Did you know that all the teachers use to be nuns at that school, and they use to sleep in the classrooms?? I mean, WTH, right? A convent that is attached to our school would probably explain that all, but now there is only 4 nuns, and only 2 are teachers. A lot of teachers in my school are from Pennsuvania..... ok, I'm just gonna go on forever, aren't I? I'm bored I guess, I got sick again and if Mom finds out she's gonna kill me! I'm at home right now, got out of school by a cough and a little fever^_~ Oh yeah, me, my step brother Ryan, and Josh JUST fin ished our movie that were gonna send in for this contest. If we win, we get an ice cream party, yay ice cream! It is SO flippin' funny! It's kinda like Napoloen Dynamite except Kari style. It's called "The stupid, the proud, and the jawbreaker" It's basically about this kid named Josh who's pretty much a retard, who loses his *special8 jawbreaker, so he has to go out and find it. With the help of his wiggger friend, 2by4, and his-strange-doll Melmo, they have to find out who took his Jawbreaker. It sounds REALLY stupid, but it's REALLY funny. I was the obsessed hippi girl who had a crush on Josh, yuck:p
Anyway, gtg!
Kari
P.S: 9 days till I get to see Kura!!! 

Kari: Hey everybody! I have no idea why I'm doing a RPG with myself, but oh well!
[Guardian Pyro]: How did I ever get stuck with you?
Kari: BOWNAGIT!
GP: Your stupid.
Kari: What the flip was Grandma doing at the dunes?!?!?!
GP: You know, you can stop it now....
Kari: You guys are RETARDED!
GP: Alright, stop it with Napoleon Dynamite...
Kari: Kaiba-boy nemo tunego saga!
GP: Not the Japanese YGO....-._-.U
Kari: I <3 tattertots!
GP: STOP IT!
Kari: *stops*

Dear Diary,
        Ug! It feels like this week will never end!! Sure, it just started, but I want it to go by so fast. I'm finally getting to see Kura, but I hadn't realized till now how flippin' close it was! *chuckles* I remember the last time I was going to see Kura, I was so excited, my mood was counting down the days. 3 months went by real fast, I can still remember the night I got back to Virginia, and cried all through-out it even thought I had school because I missed Kura so much and it seemed like I would never get to see her again. I actually cried all that week, but I guess that just makes me a baby. I'm so immature and insecure, it's, like, disgusting. lol. Now time for the humorous interclude!!^o^
Kari: *is dancing and singing to the radio* Cause somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, that looked like a girlfriend, and-
Kura: Wait a sec, am I the only one who thinkls this is weird? A boyfriend looking like a girlfriend??0.o
Kari: 0.o
*silence*
Kari: Oh well! The song is good and The Killers rock so let me dance in peace! *starts dancing again*
Kura: *sweatdrop*
Kari: Mr. Brightside^_~
c yaz!
Kari

Boys, just do it!----Tell her you think shes cool n why. Tell her she looks pretty. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river; shell scream and fight you but secretly, shell love it. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her.. Introduce her to your friends as The coolest girl I know. Tell her stupid jokes. Write poems about her. Just walk around with her. Throw pebbles at her window at night. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Carve your names into a tree. Give her piggy-back rides. Stay up with her all night when shes sick. Write on her. When shes sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Kiss her in the rain. And when you fall in love with her, tell her.

Isn't it just CUTE?! Got it from my bestest buddy ever, Camille. She is trying so hard to find love in this, I told her it will come when the time is right. That's what it did with me. Now I'm single and actually pretty happy about it. But I keep thinking about all the good times I had with Nicky. But the past is the past, and it will never come back again. All I can do is look back on the memories and hope things at school will get better.
Kari

Every day
You push me away
Push me around
Kick me when I'm down
I thought we were friends
Which meant friendship till the end
Guess you proved me wrong
You were just playing me along
Don't tell me you have something say
Cause you already told me what you think of me today
You can go on with your life
But you'll never know what it's like
Yeah, you were smart
Forgot one thing on YOUR chart
Where's the friendship in that?
I'd rather have you pat me on the back
Never mind
Just rewind
Back to a time
When we were fine
But there was always a darkness deep inside
But I didn't think our friendship would collid
I really miss you
At least I use too
Just move on
Sing a song
All day long
Tell me there's such thing as a friend
Which meant friendship till the end
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yeah, a peom. I guess about Nick. This is copywrited, don't think of stealing>o<
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I'm so pissed off at Nick. He's such a friggin' jerk. You guys just wait, another push to me and he'll be on the floor cryin'. I tell ya, if friends down here in Virginia acted more like friends, maybe this state would be a better place, at least they wouldn't look at this place as gangster invested... place. I dunno, but that's how I look at it. School's been suckin', I guess more than it usually does cause I get told to my face that I'm hated so much. Might as well run away now while no one cares. I'll hang out with my hobo friend and be seen on milk cartens, won't that be nice? I know Kura's probably gonna say ask if I'm alright. At least SOMEONE cares. Not that Camille doesn't *sigh* I hope she doesn't read this, I want her to be as un-worried about me as possible. People just don't seem to think I can stand my own, or even beat Nick up. Who knows? I bet I'm probably gonna get into a huge fight with Nick tomorrow now that he knows what'll tick me off or what won't. I don't want to fight, but my body does. When my adranalin is up, I pounce when possible. People still look at me as a little kid, and I'm being more insecure as possible. I had to sleep with my mom last night it was that bad>.< TK says I'm saying she's a bad friend, but I'm not. I'm just saying Nick is a jerk, which he is. But she's gonna have to take sides on this one. I think it's Nick's side though. Mom says Nick is treating me like this because he still likes me. I say she's wrong and lost on so many levels. But she's just a mom, what does she know about teenager life? She was one a LONG time ago. I miss my baby cousin Emma, I could talk to her about everything. She's 2 and she can already talk. I love her to bits. And me and Kura are gonna see each other really soon, and, dude, I'm not as excited as last time (but I am excited) but than again, I didn't have to wait 5 months to see her again. I guess all is not what it seems. Well, now I'm just confused
C yas
Kari
P.S: Now that I think about it, maybe I was lying to Kura. But it was only to protect her.

Dear Diary,
        Ok, this is for all the *genuises* that asked everyone but me what my problem is. So [Dark Mousy the Kaitou] and bastard I mean, [*raven16*] here ya go. I'm NOT the one with the problem, Nick is. You were giving me the cold shoulder on monday when we shook to still be friends. So what was I suppose to do, stand there and have you say I was a fuckin' bitch every time I opened my mouth? Well, guess what, no. So I fought back, cause that's just how I am. YOU were being the bastard, and I was being one right back. I was hoping to get into a fuckin' fight with you actually, just so I could beat your ass. Oh, and thanks for ALWAYS being on my side Michelle, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside that you don't think I can beat him up just cause I look like I don't have muscle. Well, I guess the saying 'There is more to it than it appears' proves me right. Than again, you should've been on my side cause that's what best friends do, but I guess not. Oh, and don't know how to flirt? Nice 'flirters united' banner in your house, makes me feel even better when I'm in my time of need. But I guess no one really cares, except for the 'good person' Joseph the fuckin' Audrey pervert! Oh wait, HE'S not even a good friend.
Note: Wrote this when very angry, might take it back, might not. I ain't promising anyone anything. Very pissed off at the moment.
Kari

Song of the day:
"Almost" by Bowling For Soup

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I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be Mrs. Texas
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out to move to L.A.
Where I was almost famous for almost a day

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too

I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cuz I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cuz he almost made off with a buncha the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away
And I wished I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
And I didn't even know it

You kept me guessin'
And now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too

Here I go thinkin' about all the things I could have done
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we've had our problems. I can't remember one.

I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away! (<love that line so flippin' much)

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
And I didn't even know it

You kept me guessin'
And now I'm destined
To spend my time missin' you
I almost wished you woulda loved me too(4x)

I almost wished you woulda loved me too

I <3 this song SO friggin' much.
Band geek: a friggin' jock....
lol. I want my next bf to sing this to me, I have no idea why, I just do. I'm gonna play hard to get^_~ (like a man who's not afraid to sing)
Kip: Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever....
Kari: 0.oU
lol, NAPOLEON DYANMITE RULEZ!!!!!!!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Well, Wednesday I'm going to Children's hospital. No, I'm not incredibly sick, I'm going to see a 'specialist' or something. To see if I really do have a problem, or if I'm just BSing school. Which I sort of am, but they wanna see if I really do have a attention problem. I think I do, but I am also BSing everything. But than again, I don't know what it's like to actually be good at school, so how can I know if I'm really BSing school or I just don't know how to be good at school. I dunno, it;s just confusing. I think Nick is mad at me, but oh well. He can just be that way. *sigh* My hair's a mess, and I'm actually thinking of a new thing to do when I grow up. Can anybody say actress? lol, I'm actually kinda embarrassed about the whole idea of thinking I should be one. I was too embarrassed to even tell my mom I wanted to be one. But, well, ya never know. Maybe I'll be extremely good at it. Well, I gotta look into trying out for a play or something now that I've got my courage up, this'll be quite a show. lol. Well, catcha later.
Kari

My B-day!!!^^ Give me some love, dawg! lol
Kari

Too embarrassed to even glance at my own diary entries>.< How pathetic is that?? We all miss you Bob Marley!

Dear Diary,
        Last night was confirmation. Well, I don't know if you were suppose to feel different or not, or if you should've felt something when you had been confirmed, but I guess you just have to grow into it. Now I'm allowed to preach to everyone about God... I dunno. I still feel like I'm a 5 year old in a 14 year old's body. Ok, now I sound like Kura. But it's true. Well, Tk did say that kids with no childhood act mentally younger to, well, have a childhood. But I'm a teenager now, there's no such thing as a childhood anymore. I just wish my childhood wasn't pain suffering, fear, and... lonesomeness. If only I had found what I was looking for sooner... than again, what was I looking for?
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Well, I'm way over the thing in the last diary entry. But I knew it was gonna come around sooner or later. But anyway, today is Ryan's birthday. My step brother/best friend. Today proved that we CAN still be friends, even though I'm a year older. Can still remember, last year on this same exact day, Ryan was telling me "I love my birthdate because it means I get to be your age for 10 days" yep, that's my brother. I love him so much. I wish he loved me back. Ah, I guess I'll just have to wait it out. He'll come to loving me back as a sister when he's ready. Well, not much really happenin' today. I am offically ungrounded, isn't that great everybody??
Kura: YEAH!!!
Audience: Boo...
Kura: *takes out random gun and shoots everybody*
Kari: That's my sister^-^
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Just got back from conseuling-.-. What a blast, right? Well, I guess it was ok. Lots of people were in my sort of position... except my friends aren't doing drugs at 13-14>.< Oh well, I couldn't blame them. Some kids just do it at thier age. I feel so bad for them:( But than again, I'e got my own story to worry about>< Like this starnge saying that just popped up in my head:
Some people have friends
Some people have enemies
Me? I've got both>.<
Don't know, decided to put that in. Ok, ok, so it was actually pretty stupid... but oh well! This is MY diary and I can say as much stupid stuff as I want in it!
Lately my thoughts have been stuck on my latest RPG that I'm doing with Kura. Well, ok, I'm usually ALWAYS thinking of our RPGs since I haven't updated or had the inspiration to update any of my stories of ff.net. But this one just makes the record. The first night we started it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I think it was the thing thatbmade me get 0 sleep that night>.<
Monuko... I wonder how Seto's gonna react to him anyway in our RPG... oh well!^-^ I guess I'll just have to find out when Kura logs back on... I'll go get her!^.^
Kari: *runs off down an ally* KURA!!!!
Kura: *walks to where Kari was* Hey Kari, I- Hey, where'd she go? She told me in math class to meet her here... oh well, guess she had to do something else *walks off, cheerfully skipping down the sidewalk home*
Kari: *runs back to where she was before* I could've sworn I heard Kura... oh well^^ *walks off, cheerfully skipping down the sidewalk home*
Niomi: *magically appears where Kari was* I guess twins really do act the same...
Ok! So that was my 5 second story/RP with myself! How'd you like it?
Audience: *completely silent*
Kari: Fine, I'll make this in clearer words with my 2 *favorite* words; YOU SUCK!
G2G!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I thought it would be easy. Easy to finally be the little sister, to have someone to really look up to. To have someone protect you, or even overprotect you at times. And most of the time, it has been easy. Till, well, today. I guess I know what Mom was saying, when she said it wasn't as great as I thought it to be to be a sister. Not that Kura isn't great, cause she is. She's really great... but I can't help having the 'little sister' problem. The problem that every little sister one or twice or all the time feels. The feeling that thier older sister is better at all and everything. Like, always a step ahead from you. I don't know if that's how I *really* feel, but it does seem kind true. Kura is WAY more creative, she is WAY better at drawing, her handwriting is just awesome, and she gets SO many reviews for her stories. Plus, I thought writing was MY special talent. Wait, does this mean I'm... jealous? Well, than I guess I'm growing up faster than I thought. But wait! Jealous... of Kura? Could it be? Ok, so when we were first sisters, we thought NOTHING could come between us, but so far we've done everything a normal sister would do, so... this really shouldn't be a surprise for Kura... right? The fact that I think she's better than me at... everything? I mean, sure I might be a little bit more nicer, but what's being nicer if you get hurt easier? I don't know... I wonder if Kura will be mad at me when she sees this...
Bye!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Another day, another day just in my life. Who's coming for me? I may not ever know. I'm listening to "I Miss You" by Blink-182, I just got my ultimate punk mix I have been urging dad to make for, like, a month. Blink-182 is really good^-^ (but I bet you people knew that) My friend Josh is over here right, sighing, probably wanting me off the computer. I can't help it. I wanted to write something important down, but I can't seem to remember it. I'm feeling... werid. I want to cry, and I don't know why. And other than that, I can;t. And I just can;t bring myself too, I don't get that ether. I guess most of life is pretty much not knowing what's going on or what's gonna happen. They should make a wiki for people who just don't know what's going on, or when it'll stop, or what we want to stop. We are the lost, the ones forgotten. The one and only ones to show the world. Where that came from, I have no clue. I don't even knolw what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes we gotta stand up. We gotta scream. We gotta show what's going on inside of us. We gotta show everyone what we're thinking,. Weather we use paper and a pencil, or use our body and our lungs to shout out our feelings. I guess that's what being punk is all about. Being who you are and doping what ya want. Or just being crazy. Crazy, yeah, everyone calls me that. Maybe it's just anexpression. Just to show the world that we're different. I don't get what I'm saying ether, I'm listening to "I'm Not Okay" now. Well, that's all for now.
BYE!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I still feel as shitty as... shit!
Niomi: Great use of words.
Kari: Thanks^-^
Niomi: She never understands sarcasime, does she?
Kari: What was that?
Niomi: Nothing at all.
I'm been blowing my nose and coughing up crap all day *sighs* What the heck am I gonna do when I go back to school? *sighs* Oh crap! What about the Science project?! Mom's gonna freak if she finds out I haven't even started... man, this sucks! I bet none of you guys have to do this dumb science fair thing.
Everyone: Actually we do.
Kari: Shut up! I wanna be right!
Niomi: For once...
Kari: Shut up you...
Joey: Are you guys even brothers?
lol, I found that mood funny for some reason. Joey got his face whooped^-----------^
Ok, I gotta go now. Stupid nose! Curse you! I bet I could smell without you any day!
Niomi: What would you smell with? Your eye?
Kari: WILL YOU GO AWAY?!
Niomi: Loser...
Ok, I have to go now.
Kari

I feel shitty!
Oh so shitty!
I feel shitty, and whitty, and giddy!!!!
Oh wait, did I just say that out loud? That was suppose to be in a thought bubble=^-^=
Dear Diary,
        I'm not AS deprssed anymore. Actually, I'm not at all. But the whole day I've felt like crap. I have been up since 3a.m. in the morning, doesn't anyone care?1 lol, jk, I know you all care. Cause your all nice people!:) Wow, I really sound stupid when I'm trying to make a long diary entry, don't I? Well, it all started when I was 3 and-
Niomi: Ok, we are NOT going into a depressing story of your life!
Kari: I was gonna say when I was 3 I had a cookie^o^
Niomi: You're hopekless-_-U
Well, I have to go. Stupid runny nose>.<
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Long time no see... I guess. I'm a sick as a dog, and when I was walking around, waiting to get my medicine, my body hurt a lot. My head was on fire and the rest of my body was aching. I just sat down on the ground, I'm usually the person who gets embarrassed easily, even by the stupidest things, anbd I hate it when people stare at me. Well, I sat on that ground for about 30 minutes, letting every single person stare at me, but I didn't. I was so sick, it hurt, and I just wanted to die so bad. Dying would've been the only thing to get the pain away. But I guess that would be kind of cowardly, no? I have always been coward. Whenever me and Kura would have a huge fight, I'd cry. I'd cry for a very long time till I found out she wasn't hurt by it at all. Am I just too weak? I feel like an asshole, I feel unloved. I just want people to listen to me sometimes, so I can feel important. But the thing is, I can;t be. Knowledge is power, everyone knows that, but the fact that my friends are all super geius's, I guess I just can't be important at all. I know, both Camille, Kura, and probably the rest of my friends on efltwon would say I am important! I am loved! They would yell it so hard if they could so they could show me that they meant it. But it just won't suit me. I require a lot of love, and needless to say, I guess I would tell someone my whole life just so they would feel soory for me. Most people don't want that, I do. I never got to be a kid, I never got to be much loved even though my grandfather was obsessed with me and my mother loves me from hell to kingdom come, and my grandmother thinks I'm the greatest thing she ever had. But it's just not the same. I say I want love, and then when I get it, I feel like I don't deserve it at all. Wehn I'm crying, when I'm down, people ask if I'm alright. What do I say? "Oh course I am" When I'm not. And they just walk away, they never turn back to make sure. Even if they did, I would still tell them I was alright. I wouldn't be. For some reason, I shut people out when I cry and feel lowest of low, but I don't let people help me. I'm complicated. I have always BEEN complicated. But people still treat me like a regular person, and just show a little more love. No, I'm not a normal person. I use to really think I was special, and most of you will say I am. "Kari, one day you'll be on TV, and all the people who ever made fun of you will see you and go 'OMG! Look! There's HiKari! I knew her before!'" that's what my mom would always tell me. But quite francillay, the fact that people always say I have a problem, or call me a dreamer, or call me stick because I'm really skinny, it just sayhs negatitive to everything my mother use to tell me. Well, anyway, I'm still waiting. Waiting to know if Kura will ever log on. Waiting to see if Camille could finally come over. Waiting to know if I could ever go back to California. Waiting to know if I'll ever become famous. Waiting to know if I'll get married to my boyfriend in the furture. Waiting to know if I'll get a happy ending. Waiting to know if this is all worth wild and I'm just stuck in the past.
Well, that's it.
Kari 

Dear Diary,
        I am so depressed. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was a better friend... a better sister... to the people who really deserve kindness, not me. I'm so weak... and Kura had said in her drawing book that if your weak... you die. But I guess that'll just have to be the end of me, I'll just have to die, because the truth is, even though I HATE the fact of it, I am nice. I am incredibly kind, it's like my nature, and I can't run away from it. Most people would say being nice is a gift of some sort, it's not. It's like a table that's legs aren't hooked together. When someone throws a insult at you, you don't have a barrier, it hits right at your heart. And your heart shatters, and you have the put the pieces of it back together again. I've done that... many times, it takes longer now-a-days to do it. I've cried so many times, I've tried to tell myself to stop, that it only means weakness, that I don't need to cry, but just trying to kept it in, hurts the aching of my shattered heart, and I find I must cry to stop the pain. But maybe I should be in pain. I mean, crying at school obviously shows that NO ONE cares about me, not even my boyfriend and so called 'best friend' who's not really my best friend anymore. SHE'D rather blow me off than be MY friend. So what's the use? Maybe it's the fact that I'm nice that is always hurting me. I wish I could be more like Kura, who doesn't break down as easily, who knows what to do and say, who has walls to protect her, who's tough. Me? I'm as tender as fresh dirt. I can get stepped on easily. Why do I even TRY to make it look like I know what to do, WHY do I even try to make it look like everything's ok. Because in my book... it'll never be ok. And to me...
I'm always trying to put my heart back together.
Kari