"My Hometown" by Bowling For Soup

This song goes out to my good friends,
Especially the ones I had before the Grammy nominations in 2003
And all the girls from back in high school,
Who actually spoke to me,
Even though I was a fat kid and a marching band geek.

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin' fuckin' swell.
I hope that you're back up if you've ever been down.
And I hope that you got the fuck out of our hometown.

Here comes a shout out to the professor,
Who said "Son pick a path and stay the same, cause charisma is
the key to opportunity"
And to all the clubs that let us play.
To our family and friends and the music stores,
For giving us gear when we couldn't pay.

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin' fuckin' swell.
I hope that you're back up if you've ever been down.
And I hope you got the fuck out of our hometown.

You know I can't count how many times I've heard people say
(heard people say)
'Be proud of where you're from, you're gonna put us on the map'
But where the hell were you back in the day, (back in the day)
No one came to see us,
So we got the hell out of there.
So there you have it.
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t

This song goes out to my big brother.
For putting up with me following you around.
And making me smile when things at home weren't great
And not getting pissed when I humped your girlfriend
For letting me take your car to the prom.
For beating up the guys that hung my bike in a tree
For hand-me-down down albums and guitars with no strings
For never beating the shit outta me

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin fuckin swell.
I hope that you're back up cause I know you've been down.
I just wish you'd get the fuck out of our hometown.
I hope you get the fuck out of our hometown.
I'm so glad I got the fuck out of our hometown.

You know what I'm talking about don't ya?
Damn it!
-----------------------------------------------------------
These guys are too funny to hate^-^
Kari

This is a real cool song, once again, that I can relate too (well, I find myself relating to almost all the songs about heart break and just feeling bummed, it sucks to be depressed:p)

"Scars" by Papa Roach <I know, the name is really weird>.<

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

"Empty House of Broken Dreams"

Sitting in this empty house of broken dreams
Where life, as I knew it, wasn't as it seemed
Totally excluded from the other girls
They acted as if I was from another world
But they never even talked to me
And when they did, I screwed up
Then I was forgotten
They didn't even bother to know who I was
And I was a thing in the past
But my pain just seemed to last
Things seemed to stick to me
And I'd make sure I wouldn't forget who I use to be
Use to beat myself up real bad
It was only cause I was mad
Mainly at myself
I couldn't do anything right
Despite the times when I would follow the light
And school wasn't better
People treated me as if I was a beginner
Or just beat me up as if I was a kid
Or treated me as if I was nothing
Cursed at in the face like I was dirt underground
Sometimes people wondered why I took it sitting down
And I'd wonder too
Then I'd get home
Things there were never how they were suppose to be
Fighting and arguing between my mom and step dad
While me and my brothers would peek through the door to see
And we'd just wish our mom would get along with someone
So we wouldn't feel so bad like we had no one
But my brothers never understood it
Instead I took it all in for them so they could never know it
And my mom would explain our family's position
But always told me nothing else was to be said about it
And so at times, I'd think of just running away
So I wouldn't have to go and take all of this every day
But I couldn't have the guts to run
When my heart said I had nothing and no one
But I'd dump everything on Ryan
Sometimes I think, on the inside, he's crying
Cause I go and tell him everything and all my problems
Making everything his problem as well
And then I'd feel bad
Than I'd want to beat myself up again cause I was mad
For telling all that stuff to him
And now, outside, the sun grows dim
As I hope these memories disappear and never come back to me
As I walk away from the empty house of broken dreams
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*sigh* Stupid peom...

I remember the old road trips on the road. Where I was a care-free kid, stuck in a tiny van with all my brothers. Sean would do almost anything to be annoying, and Patrick was easily annoyed. Mom would always try to get us to corperate, which never usually worked, and when we were with Dad, he would usually curse when he was irratated, and we would laugh under our breath. And Josh would do anything to get my attention, and Susanna always had everything planned out for what we were gonn do or eat. And I would just stare out the window listening to my CDs till I got bored, or till I got so annoyed of Josh and Ryan trying to make me stop listening to it and talk to them. And when I finally did, we usually had nothing to say. And Kerry would always fall asleep first and without our knowledge till we stopped @ a rest stop and found Sean asleep with him as well. Until we would get back in the car and keep driving, what seemed to be the never ending road, where I'd fall asleep with the swishing street lights, dreaming of a world where there was no such thing as good or evil, and everyone was happy... for once.

I'll always remember those never ending road trips to Floyd, Ryan's childhood and home.

Quote for last St.Rita field day: I got the last laugh;p

Dear Diary,
        I snagged this from [*raven16*]'s house(my X) and probably since I complimented him on it, he'll probably take it down. So I took it for future refrence so I can remember it. Cause this is the first time I had actually read something where he sounded like a person, not just an angry kid(sorry Nick if your pissed off that I took it, but I really couldn't resist^-^):

Well if I learned anything this year at school is that you shouldn't joke around your friends and others. Another thing that I learned is that you shouldn't be mean to pepole cause later they well come back at you, and your going to not like it. I really wished i learned that a long time ago, but now i know for future times on what not to do, anymore. So that later i woun't have problems like i had now. I should have put this in diary but its more of a lesson then and entry lol. I am really thankful for the person who tought me that. Thank you.

I'll never forget you Nick, I just hope you won't forget me.
Kari

Dear Diary,
        So much is happenin' in so little time and everything going so fast. I wish it would slow down just a little for me. Just to slow down enough for me to take everything in and and try to cope with it. It's kinda hard for me, well, everything's hard for me right now. I have a cold and afraid that it might last till June 1st when I have my singing performance. And there's also the Shakespeare play. And there's also the Spring concert. And there's also school and my grades. And there's also Camille and Kura. And there's also Nick, Joseph, and TK. And there's also just, well, life. I dunno. Lately I have just been thinking about love. When my mom was in school, she had to repeat ever grade she did because her father was always moving around to different countries and places, so she had to repeat the grade and learn the language. So anyway, when she was in 3rd grade, she still couldn't write. And when she finally did, her first word was 'love'. When my mom first told me this, I didn't see why she thought it was so important, then I started looking more closely and I found love is as great as her writing it as her first word. Sorry I'm boring you with all this. I just wanted to make a decent diary entry for all of you, ya know, just so you can keep up with times. I'm sorry it sucks though. Kura's are always so interesting and here I am talking about love *thinks back to Kura's latest entry about wanting a boba fett spirt bottle* Uh... yeah^-^U
Well... gtg.
C ya!
<3 Kari

Just don't know what to write, songs are the only way I can express my feelings at the moment.
"Twenty-four" by Switchfoot

Twenty-four oceans
Twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures
And twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop outs
At the end of the day

Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
And I'm not who I thought I was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'

There's twenty-four reasons
To admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses
Still twenty-four strong

See, I'm not copping out
Not copping out
Not copping out
When you're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh, I am the second man now
And you're raising these...

Twenty-four voices
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh
I am the second man now
And you're raising the dead in me
Yeah

I wanna see miracles
To see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And you're raising the dead in me

Twenty-four oceans
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
With twenty-four parts
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
I'm not copping out
Not copping out

Ok, here is a really sad thing I read that my mom had. It was written by Erma Bombeck, after finding out she was dying from cancer:
"If I Had My Life To Live Over"

I would have gone to bed when I was sick
instead of pretending the earth would go on
a holding pattern if I weren't here for the day

I would have burned a pink candle sculped
like a rose before it melted in storage

I would have talked less and listened more

I would have invited friends over to dinner
even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded

I would have eaten popcorn in the 'good' living room
and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light fire in the fireplace

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather
ramble about his youth

I would have never have insisted the car windows
be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had been teased and sprayed

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains

I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV and more while watching life

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would have never said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's"

More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would have seized every minuted, look at it and really see, live it and never give it back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cause every day, there was something worth living for. Erma just didn't realize it till she was about to loose her life.
Kari

Ok, here's just another song, mainly about living life to your fullest! Enjoy:
"Gone" by Switchfoot
She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
than try and fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
even with the cell phone gone.

She told him that she believes in living
bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upside down.

Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong.
Don't spin today away, 'cause today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and
pretend like you're immortal.

She said, he said, live like no tomorrow
Everyday we borrow brings us
one step closer to the edge. Infinity.
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal.

Don't say so long, you're not that far gone.
This could be your big chance to make-up
Today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going
Gone, like summer break is gone,
Like Saturday is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and
pretend like you're immortal (you're immortal)
You're immortal (you're immortal)

Ha-ah

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We are so confident in our accomplishments.
Look at our decadence.

Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pacino's cash, nothing lasts in this life.
My High School dreams are gone,
my childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long.

Life is more than money, time was never money.
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills.
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age
but do we know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
to a God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked.
Life is still worth living, Life is still worth living.
Life is more that we are.

This is a peom called "Friend" my best buddy Camille made it about some of our good times, and this peom was just too good to be true. So I put it up here:
Friend.
Everybody needs one.
To share in all your random fun.
Like-
Sneaking out on late summer nights
Having a bunch'a pillow fights…

And getting hyper off of chocolate syrup
While singing Bob Marley's "Stir It Up"
Watching so much of the tube
That it'll make you wanna puke.

Running through the mall, as fast as you can
And smashing into a few trash cans
Falling asleep to blaring metal
And making tea with a broken kettle.

And spinning so fast on that old tire swing
That you couldn't even breathe
Man, oh man, what an awesome thing!

Having a tea party
In a little play house
Playing with Barbie®™
While watching Full House

And routing through your pockets to find some dimes
So you can ride the public bus for the first time.
Playing air guitar while jumping on the bed
Forgetting there's a ceiling, & smacking both your heads.

Blaring Frank Sinatra on a car ride
Then sliding down a muddy slide.
And watching Land Before Time
Even though you're both not nine.

But most significant of all
Is helping each other up when you fall.

Never fighting, never screaming (out of anger at least)
So close, dreaming what the other's dreaming.

A true friend will always be there for you.
And this I know for sure is true.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Camille, I love you so very much. I hope you never forget the good times, and that we'll always be best friends forever.
Copyrighted, and you better not be stealing!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Haven't really been keeping up with myself, so I might as well keep up with my diary. I know people only update them when there is actually something important to say, but since I've been behind in my other actually diary, I wanted to keep this organized.
This years seems like it will never end, it's going slower than ever, and I wish it would just go by... but then again, I can't. My class... ok, they've caused me more pain then I could ever imagine... but, well, I guess no class would be the same without TJ's goofballness, and Cohen's basketballness always saying he was never talking when he always talks, TK drawing and never paying attention in class, Nick having his random outbursts in class, but still managing to crack a smile on his face, Joseph being just plain weird, Emilia being just plain smart, and I guess everyone else just being their normal abnormal selves. These guys are like my family, how can I just put that behind me? I can barely put behind me my own seperate past, it always comes back to haunt me and embarrass me(of times when I did really stupid stuff) and people don't even remember them enough to laugh at me anymore. We might actually be singing a song I know and like for the Spring concert, and I'm also playing the students vs. teachers basketball game, I've been practicing alot. Everyone was like "What did you say?" when I said I was playing. The girls were just fine, but the boys just think I'lll be in the way. Dude! I'm freakin' tall! Everyone says tall people are born to play basketball, so why can't I? Gosh, now that I think of it, when I go to high school, everyone will be asking me if I play. But this time I won't say no, he he^-^
gtg!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Ug, I am so sick of my brothers, my family, everyone at home. My brothers disrespect me, they mock me, embarrass me, and black mail me. What kind of fucking brothers are they, huh?! And the only memories coming to mind are the days when my parents were fighting, and my brothers wouldn't listen to me at all. I felt like I was completely alone. Guess I still am, Patrick makes fun of me and says I'm dumb cause he gets good grades. Hello, he looks like a total dork. If I really wanted to, I could say some really mean stuff about him to his classmates and totally black mail him. Sean, he pushes me to the limit where I have to hurt him. Then he cries and gets Dad on his side. He ALWAYS does that, and no matter of grounding works, he does it again and again. Kerry's a smart ass, he just acts like a total jerk at times. And can be very selfish. Ryan is a bastard, he thinks he knows the rules to everything and tries to enforce them just to pick on us. He corrects me on stuff I do, and it just pisses me off, ya know? I wanna do stuff however way I do them, even if it's not how your suppose to do them. Forrest... no, Forrest isn't bad at all. He can be a little starnge at times, but he's never really a bother. Plus, he's so hugable and cute. But other than that, they're just all out to get me, I'm at total war in my own house. And then people at school push me around. How do I keep from killing my brothers? I've put with them enough, how can I feel at home in my own house?
Kari

Dear Diary,
        Hey, hey, hey! Whassup peeps? *laughs* I love talking like a wigger, it's just so funny. Esipally since all the boys in my class are ones and they always talk like that. I'm nervous about something, I just don't know what. I can feel when I nervous, isn't that weird? I think it is. It's like... I dunno. It's like when someone really hurts my feelings, I can feel a blow of sadness in my heart. It's just- weird. Got my fanficitions deleted... again! Little bastards afre just out to get me cause I have a lot of stories. Well, if you want to delete my stories, do it to the ones that actually suck you losers! Ok, yeah, that was my message to the jerks who are deleteing my stories^-^U
I just finished reading "The Outsiders" (I only read it cause the girl I sit next to loves it, she read it 5 times and is gonna name her children after the characters.) It's a real cute book. It reminds me of some of my stories, I might even make a YGO version of it. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. But it really is a good book. And, no, Kura you don't have to tell me to read "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" Ryan is gonna force me to read that sometime. He's read it as well.
It's really pretty outside. Everything is so green. Speaking of green, I have fallin' in love with Green Day. Well, at least their music^-^U Thier really good! I love all their songs on "American Idiot" I heard they're gonna break up:'( *sniffle*
Here's a song:
"Whatshername" by Green Day
Thought I ran into you down on the street
Then it turned out to only be a dream

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how Whatshername has been...

Seems that she disappeared without a trace
Did she ever marry ol' Whatshisface?

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name

Now I wonder how Whatshername has been...

Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
She's in my head
From so long ago

(Go, Go, Go, Go...)

And in the darkest light
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you but not the time...

yeah, well, gtg!
Kari

Ok, here's a story my bud TK made in class, I thought it was just SO funny and stupid, that I put it up here:
So, one day I was riding on my motorcycle. It was a beautiful day. I was riding happily on my motorcycle when Bob shows up. I waved ‘hi’ to Bob, but he isn’t important. Anyways, back to me riding on my motorcycle. I was cruising down the street when Mr. Tree walked across it. I stopped and said hello. Mr. Tree isn’t important either. I really wish all these people would stop randomly appearing in my story. So anyways, I was still riding on my motorcycle on this happy day-it was a red motorcycle, I like Red. Well actually, I like blue, but oh well. Suddenly a randomly appearing brick appeared, randomly. I crashed into the brick wall. It hurt a lot, but it was a good thing because the randomly appearing brick wall wanted to take over the world, so I saved the day!

Uh... yeah, that pretty much explains itself0.o
Bye!
Kari

Uh, yeah. Here's a song I heard, then found out it really reminds myself of me and I guess the fight I'm in. I use to really love this song when I was younger, so, well, here it is:
"Breathe" by Michelle Branch


I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space in between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real

And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain

Kari

Dear Diary,
        I've beginning to feel alot better. And it seems like everyone else is too. But for everyone who isn't, I thought up part 2 of funny RPGs^-^ Enjoy:
Patrick: *pissed off at Alana in class, whispers* My fist in your face.
Kari: Come again?
Patrick: *whispers a little louder* My fist in your face.
Kari: Come again?
Patrick: *yell whispers* My fist in your face
Kari: Come again?
Patrick: *stands up and yells* My fist in your-
Teacher: Sit down!
Kari: 0.o
~
Patrick: I hate the magic school bus. They should make a new kind of version of it... *thinks*
Theme song: Ride on the deadly school bus!:D
Bus: *beeeep, beeeep*
Bus driver: Free loader. *looks back at a kid who's picking the gum from under the seat* Hey, hey, hey! The gum under the seat is NOT for free!
~
Warrior: Ok, I finally traveled across the whole country and the seven seas to meet the almighty wizard, and all I asked for was chocolate. And you give me this *holds up a brown square*
Wizard: What's wrong with it?
Warrior: This is shit.
Wizard: 0.o
(uh... I have NO idea where that came from)
~
Kerry: *reading 2nd grader Religion book after Patrick secretly grafitied it* Hey mom, this has bad words in it.
Mom: What?! *walks over and looks in it*
-In book-
*at the top of the page*: Jesus forgives:)
*picture of a girl looking angrily at her father who is yelling at her*
Father: Go to your fucking room!
*a picture of a priest and a little boy talking to each other holding the Bible*
Priest: So, whatcha wanna read?
Boy: I can't read this shit you put in front of me
*a picture of a chinese girl and boy together*
Girl: *pointing to the air with her finger* LAUNCH A NUK AT CHINA!
Boy: We are China bitch!
*a picture of a boy praying with a smile on his face*
Boy: *thoughts* I feel so fucking good...
*at the top of page with little pictures of happy people*: Draw yourself in this happy picture.
Patrick: *draws a picture of Seto Kaiba, looking like he's about to kill everyone*
~
(from my manga)
Sakura: Hey, wait, how did you find out my name?
Diablo: Well, you see Sakura, I have been watching you ever since you got your necklace...
Sakura: I just got this yesterday
Diablo: Shut up!
~
Kura: I love chcocolate!!! *starts making up and singing her own chocolate song, she's high*
Kari: I can sing BETTERFUL! *also high* I'm a lumberjack, and I'm ok. I sleep all night and I work all day. I put on women's clothing, spandex and a bra!^------------^
Kura: *stares at her like she's crazy, slowly inches away*
Kari: What?
(ok, you might not get it, it's from a movie>.<)
~
Kari: Soringstreet, Modanna, way before Nirvana. There was U2 and-
Ryan: STOP! Stop, before you kill me! You know how I HATE that song!>o<
Jake: *comes skipping by singing* Boom, boom, boom, boom, I want you in my room...
Ryan: That song is SO not right.
Kari: *shurgs* And blondie! Music still on MTV^-^
Ryan: Ug...-.-U
~
Josh: *reading the Giving Tree to Kerry, on the first page* Ok, now once there was a giving tree-
Kerry: I don't get it.
Josh: What do you mean?
Kerry: I don't get it.
Josh: What's not to get? We're on the first page>.<
Kari: Kerry, u scare me-.-
~
Sister: *teaching Religion class* Now, if you magically went to heaven, and you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Stephen: How the heck did I get up here...
Nick: How do I get to hell?
TK: Why? Simply, why?
Emilia: What's the meaning of life?
Joseph: What was our purpose in our lives?
Kari: Can I see my house from here?^-^
Everyone: 0.o
~
Kerry: Patrick, what's sex?
Patrick: Well, you see Kerry. Boys have little... um.... hot dogs and girls have, well, cup holders. And you see, when you put the hot dog in the cup holder-
Kari: *screams and runs away*
Kerry/Patrick: 0.o
~
Uh... yeah, not really funny... but, oh well! I tried, hope I made at least *some* people laugh.
Bye!
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I feel like an empty shell. I've shown no emotion accept for anger. For example, after I got home from school, Sean threw a football at my head (it actually barely hit my head) it just blew me off, I ran over to grab the football, and then Ryan calls "Come on Kari, it's not worth it. Leave him alone" I ignored him, not even planning to even think of listening to my younger step brother, and threw the football hard at Sean in the stomach. And he started to cry. When I walked back over to Ryan, he goes "I told you. That's not how you should treat your brother" so I shot a glare at him and said "How would you know how to treat him?" and soon stomped off to my room since I was sent there after Dad had found out what I had done. I went, without any protest to my room, just feeling like kicking and breaking most of the things in my room, and just being angry. I've never felt this way before. I don't even know why I'm angry. In school, I kept having that feeling(the feeling that you have when you think/know your gonna cry) and I hadn't a clue why, it just happen. When I walked through my classroom during school, I actually did what Nick usually did when he was on a off day, ran swiftly through the classroom, and knocking aside a chair in my way with anger. Joseph just looked at me and said "Your turning into Nick" it only angered me more because I didn't want one of my friends telling me I was turning into someone else. HELLO! I am KARI, not Nick, I will never BE Nick, and I'm pretty happy with that. And if your NOT, then screw off and get a fuckin'-ok, calm down... see? I told you, I'm pissed, I don't even understand or know why... well, anyway.
More updates on my life(if anyone actually cares) later
Kari

Dear Diary,
        I finally decided to make a real entry in this damn diary, no wait, why am I calling it damn diary? Am I angry? Gosh, I'm so stupid, I don't even know when I'm angry>.< But anyway, I have actually be uncondisionally happy lately, but it really sucks. Why, you ask?
Random guy: No one asked
Kari: Shut up! *slaps him*
Ok... that was gay (in my language, gay is stupid, ok? get over it) Oh yeah, which reminds me, I want a gay friend (like a gay guy friend) Don't ask me why, but my dad said I should get one so now I'm determined to. lol.
NEway! (as Kura says) I was talking about being happy, right? Yes, I do believe so... anyway! So, I'm happy. But all of my friends that I always talk to, aren't. And it REALLY sucks. Not only do I feel bad that they aren't happy, I also gotta be depressed, ya know? So they feel a little better that thier friend is depressed with them. But how am I suppose to do that when I'm happy? But what is the point of being happy if you can't share your happiness with your friends? Am I right? *sigh* Well, I don't know what to do. Camille's depressed, Kura's depressed, TK's depressed... how can I be the only happy person?!?!?!??! Ok... I'll shut up now.
Well, in other news, there's this one song that I can relate to that's stuck in my head. Here:
"Dearly Beloved" by Green Day
Dearly Beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word you saying?
Are we demented?
Or am I disturbed?
The space that's inbetween insane and insecure

Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded?
Or just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of better word and that's my best excuse

Ok, I guess this really explains me since I'm happy (for now) and I always wonder if I am retarded, disturbed, insane-yeah, you get the point.
Anyway, I better go.
Kari
P.S: Sorry for all the peom entries!

She walked down the empty road
She knew she had nowhere to go
People could only stare
At the girl who wandered everywhere
With no heart
She was ripped apart
She never knew love
She got torn away
Everyday
Only looking to God above
Her shadow was her only friend
It was the only thing that would stand by her till the end
The rain falling down
Only hoping she would drown
It's always lonely walking alone
She's been beating to the bone
No one to love, no family at all
They all left as she began to fall
She didn't belong anywhere
Scared away
No one cared
She was unwanted
She was hated
She was her own person
But no one likes a loner
They took away everything from her
She walks in the dark
Hoping to find someone with a heart
Someone who won't hurt her again
All she needed was a friend
Then one day
As she walked down the street
The last thing she heard was a beep
Hit by a car
Everyone stared
Surprised that no one cared
As she lay there in the street
She was gone
They only hoped her heart would move on
Now everyone remembers
The girl who got no second chances
As she walked down that empty road
With no one and nowhere to go
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Depressing peom, ain't it? I wanted to write a narratove peom, and this came out>.< Sucks, I know. Don't steal.
Kari

I couldn't tell you
Who I was today
Cause everytime you left me
My person just walked away
It was like a spell
It was like a curse
I didn't know what life was really worth
You kept my spirit up
There was no such thing as giving up
Cause everytime you looked at me
I'd want to be the very girl you saw in me
Nothing can change me now
Now that your gone somehow
I'd follow to the edge of the world
If it meant I was your special girl
Please don't say never
I wanna be yours forever
Please just take away my pain
Let me win the game
Wipe away my tears
And whisper in my ears
Take my breath away
Forget about it
Let's just get away
Sweep me off my feet
Tell me that I'm sweet
Just so I can be the girl
You want me to be
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A peom dedicated to my bestest friend Camille.
Kari