I'm so confused...is today the 29th?? hm...i dunno.
CONGRATULATION
i'm gonna go, cause i'm suddenly boy crazy and i'm gonna chase a few i know, online! hurrah!
i've been working on my magazine for a while, and HURRAH!!! IT'S ALMOST DONE!! i've actually had all of my stories finished since the beginning of school, but i could never find time to do layout. But now that my lips are swollen and my mother is gracious enough to spare me school, i'm here, and i'm actually gonna work on it. it's called 'Obvious Noise' and i like my 'Glimpse of Hell' story, personally. i like just because of the picture....my cousin lindsay with her eyes in the back of her head...i love it! but i'll go and work on it now...catch ya later!
THE FOGGY MORNING WITHOUT
ANY FOG
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom (like Boston) lived an enchanted princess (named Agatha) who loved to ride beautiful (taxis) horses and had an enticing pet (rock) tiger named (Bob) Bob, who loved to (bask in the window light and grow fungus) bask in the sunlight and loved the princess very much (even though rocks show no emotion). The princess had a handsome (bald) father, the king (of the clicker) and a beautiful mother (who liked Everclear and Marlboros) who loved her ( somewhere in the empty chamber of her heart) very much. They would all go ride (taxis) horses, and (argue) laugh as they rode. Afterwards, they'd be so (stingy as to argue with the driver, Osama Bin Laden) gracious and generous as to tip the stable boy (Osama) who'd in turn (try to run them over) tell the whole kingdom how great they were.
One night the Queen began to scream! Everyone (ignored her, because she screamed a lot at nothing in particular) quickly rushed to her aide and found her in labor (oops.) and rused her to the hospital on (the subway) royal carriage. She gave birth to a (screaming, wrinkly) beautiful baby boy who she named (Phil) Hector. (Phil) Hector was a (boasting, loud, ignorant) charming young boy when he grew older. The (") King (") and (") Queen (") (ignored) loved him very much.
STICK AROUND FOR CHAPTER 2!!!
people of america...i give you....genital
OH GOSH, MY GEESH, DAH-HLING!
and.......uh..
i have just had a normal conversation with my sister.....i have been typing what we said/did......
BOOM, LOUD! CRASH!
was this a.) my furby b.)my brother c.) my cousin or d.)my other cousin (this one is the stoner)
HEY GUESS WHAT??!! I'M GONNA START CALLING CHAS A STONEER, CAUSE IT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE AN ENGINEER!! SO IT MAKES HIM SOUND SMART....WELL HE IS....A SMART ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
charlie....uh if you read this.....take it as a compliment!!!
P.S. my new name is.....POPPY SWEETIE!!!!
RACHEL'S ALTER EGO LESBIAN NAME IS MOOLANDA! CALL HER SUCH!
people of america...i give you....genital
OH GOSH, MY GEESH, DAH-HLING!
and.......uh..
i have just had a normal conversation with my sister.....i have been typing what we said/did......
BOOM, LOUD! CRASH!
was this a.) my furby b.)my brother c.) my cousin or d.)my other cousin (this one is the stoner)
HEY GUESS WHAT??!! I'M GONNA START CALLING CHAS A STONEER, CAUSE IT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE AN ENGINEER!! SO IT MAKES HIM SOUND SMART....WELL HE IS....A SMART ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
charlie....uh if you read this.....take it as a compliment!!!
P.S. my new name is.....POPPY SWEETIE!!!!
RACHEL'S ALTER EGO LESBIAN NAME IS MOOLANDA! CALL HER SUCH!
TUESDAAAAAAAY!
Pinkie: A blonde bubbly girl, to make fun of and yet at the same time she'll know what to do when a guy breaks up with me and i do like to shop
Goth: Whether male or female it does not matter. i want a friend like this to have fun with or just to freak the teeny bopper TRL kids out with.
Glam: i have one ; MORGAN DARLING!!!
Gay: Preferably male...you know, like i have specified above
Wanna Be: everyone needs a rocker wanna be, they're to sing you to sleep or to compete with the naked cowboy
and so on and so forth....
new favorite quote: *after pouring clorox in rival's drink (rival is on stage puking and singing)* get a goddamn clue!! she's fucked and i'm ready. as they say the show must go on..."
"eyes, eyes people! nostrils flared! and silent scream *demonstrates* okay...we're good.....actio
I STAYED HOME FROM SCHOOOOOOL!!!! good gravey i am feeling refreshed and blah blah blah! my brother thought his hermit crab died (wouldnt you know it'd be the one i named...tommy boy) but he is alive...just tired or something, like me!
my brother is getting teased at school by a few boys in particular who are heading for a serious thrashing by a bunch of girls....one of which wears highheeled platform boots...that would hurt!
but i am watching velvet goldmine and i have realized...see
ps. my brother would be the prettiest drag queen ever, i dressed him up in make up and spiked his hair out...he is pretty. i told him when i moved to new york i was gonna dress him up and he could be the only straight guy in a drag queen competition!
good grief...i am tired...my left eye is blood shot and i almost went to school with my pj pants on...in gifted i learned more about hitler!!!
when the nazis first gained control of schools, in one in particular a jewish teacher was grabbed by the beard (which was shaved off) and thrown out of the school. then the class children had to pledge allegience to hitler...a few jewish students would do it so the Gestapo (german police) went up the jewish children and said to the other children in the class, "this is what we do to jews", and stabbed the children in the ears with pencils....kil
does this not thoroughly depress you??? and as for a certain someone i know, Hitler should not be your idol, you FREAK OF NATURE!!!!!
"The time has come," the walrus said. "To talk of many things. Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."
"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. "There's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail. See how eagerly the lobster and the turtle all advance? We are waiting on the shingle, will you come and join the dance?"
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Time marches on it's stomach!!" "It's an army that marches on it's stomach." "Dreadful idea, all that mud. Ghastly, yuck."
"I speak roughly to my boy. I beat him when he sneezes. He only does it to annoy because he knows it teases!"
"I was in the middle of 'Twinkling Cups' when the queen screeches, "He's murdering the tune...off with his head!"
"I did say what i meant, or at least i meant what i said, it is the same thing." "No, it isn't. You may as well say i see what i eat and i eat what i see!" "Or i like what i get and i get what i like." "Or you may say i sleep when i breathe and i breathe when i sleep." "...well it is the same with you..."
"You cant draw treacle..." "sure you can...you can draw water from a well, can't you?"
these are loverly quotes from alice in wonderland (fabadabadoo, doncha know *wink* ) which i love as it has martin short in it (he's hot for being, like, 50) and the book is awesome too.
"Yesterday on the stair
I saw a man who wasnt there,
I saw him again today,
how i wish he'd go away!"
from Velvet Goldmine which i must return to abby only after watching the rest of the meaning of life...
toodle pip.....uh....
hello you sexy beings, that is those of you that chose to read this, therefore entitling you to be among the Sexii. The super-secret organization of sexy people who frequently fail tests while supposedly being rather intelligant, yet failing in fabulous style and grace such as Pat..."See, Danielle? You studied to much, I didnt study at all and I got 3 points better than you? How did that happen, well you did quiz me at 30 seconds till the test...well...
recently i have had my brain taken over by a girl. Yes, a girl, a frickin girl, or a Firl, if i may. I wore a skirt to school, which is a big deal, as i am not only fat, but stubborn when it comes to skirts;it means shaving legs. i have shamelessly flirted with many guys, who were my friends, and for some reason have begun to enjoy the morning rounds of puttputt golf between nate and pat. kyle helps them both cheat and the only way nate wins is by default.
my magazine has come to a standstill as the computer is not in my main state of mind. i have my stories and now need pictures and such...but anyway
school is okay, i have had several tests and such and have doodled on them pictures of my brain frying...uh-fo
friends are cool, chris is an idiot, what's new? i've begun reading Eerie Queerie thanx to Abby and seem to like it, or something. i already like cowboy bebop and inuyasha, soon i'll just read original manga in japanese...spe
speaking of which, i have a major crush on mr. toney as he is intelligent, makes fun of whiney mumblers (ashely brown) and likes to joke around and have a good time. but he needs to learn, when he loads the homework on, he needs to not tease me...short fuse, wot?
well i'm gonna go change me information as much of it is not in effect!
have a scrumdidlyumpt
okay, i've come to grips with the fact that i was a beachball to people last year, and i've decided to be nicer this year...i've severed ties with a few people and reconnected with others...this doesnt mean i got rid of BAD people, just lost contact. school has come, my brain is gone (actually i sold it on ebay, six bucks man, that like 6 sodas!) and i am learning to dislike journalism...i love to write, but my ideas are always turned down and i want to make people think about controversial ideas, but apparently my job is 'not to make people think, it's to effect change'. well pardon me ms. insult my favorite gifted teacher, but you cant change without thinking, it's like leaping without looking...grrr
geometry sucks, but then again if i was good at math i might say 'i love geometry', but i'm not so i dont. gifted is fun, always is. we're learning about the holocaust, tons of fun. did you know the jews invented the ghettos? well they didnt persay, german government did. then english is easy and boring, French is entertaining as always with the bubbly Mrs. Uzzel, biology is boring, world history....mr. toney is like andy dick, willy wonka, and...i dunno a scary sarcastic guy all in one. secrets for you, i love him, i think he's hotter than mr. nix, well, in mind anyway. those are all my classes. matt just turned 16 the 26th, rachel on the 23rd...i'm still 15 till March. crap. but I GOT A TATTOO!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA
i cant wait for jour de fete, i have to find morgan and rachel there, but yeah. i want to go to the Orris because Rescue is playing and i love that band, plus the keyboard/guita
but, these creepy mexican guys (not that i have problems with mexicans) keep driving by, and staring. they've been by about 4 times now, and they went by yesterday too. the next door neighbor here is nice though. he blares his radio for us. at least it's good music. well, who here watched the opening of the olympics last night? anyone? well it was awesome. these people looked like statues portraying the greek myths and the story of the olympic's origin. it was awesome!! and then after i went outside and slept in a tent. and watched what a girl wants. but i'm gonna go and make sure my brother isnt hurting anyone (he hasnt had his pills yet). toodles
oooh....garage sales, or yard sales whatever, anyway! i am at on at the moment and some lady bought all of my old clothes...i've made aboot 50-60 dollars so far...and I'M GOIN TO RAGARAMA!! WOO! but newayz...i'm feeling kinda bad cuz i missed my Rachani's sweet 16 to be here...but i needed to help...and i get moola moola, but I LOVE RACHEL!!!! KISSIE KISSIE! and i am also very caffiene defitiant and i was woken up at 5 am just to set up tables and it was very cold outside.but i can hear people outside getting ravaged by the little ones and my mom is watching karate kid...wee!
but i havent learned anything new, except as soon as i step into the highschool i cant remember what the class with the writing is called (ie creative writing, thanks morgan!) and i am rather depressed at the prospect of child development classes. i dont want babies...i dont want to learn about them, i know to make sure they're fed and still breathing. i am an excellent babysitter! but i'd rather have french or creative writing. but i have gifted (yay!) and journalism ie newspaper and yearbook (yay times 2!) but i hope this year is better than last year...
okay, i feel embarrassed over some of my poems...the mooshy gooshy 'oh i'm a depressed lover' ones....
i didnt think when i wrote them. i was saying in them i was through and over it, but by writing them i officially countered that and i realized i was being moon sick...so i quit. sorry i took them off. i kept some, the ones i just wrote because i was bored. but nothin much is goin on, i'm eating again...and i'm doing pilates and yoga, and that stuff hurts my butt....i still cant play guitar very well and i know 3 chords officially, woohoo! but i am positively terrified of going back to hiskool...i hate it times a million. i'm looking forward to football games because i can meet up with friends...wait
hello to all, i am feeling okay, except i have this nervous feeling in my stomach and i dont know why...could it be it's almost school time? maybe. could it be i'm waiting for mom to blow up and get mad? possibly. could it be that i havent eaten anything today but fruit because i'm afraid of the calories? AHA! i got up, went jogging (in 101 degree weather) then i drank whole bunches of water and threw up (shhhh, dont tell my mom!*nervous giggle) and now i am at the community center, i was working out and i worked of 500 calories according to my machiny thingy...i wonder if that canceled out any of my fruit, an apple, an orange, and half a banana...now i'm going to go eat a subway sandwich and possibly throw it up.
to those who know me and are asking "How did this start?"
i'll tell you exactly how it started.
i was getting ready to go to st. louis and i put on some of my sister's shorts and they fit! yay! usually they dont, i mean if you've seen my sister that's pathetic, i didnt think i was as big if not bigger than her, but aparently i am...so i was happy, turns out the shorts were too big on her, by a lot, but hey they were cute, so i thought nothing of it.
then i went to forest park and played frisbee and stuff, then to union station because it was too hot to be outside. well at union station there was this bungee thingy where you jump on a trampoline with bungee cords and go really high, well when i went to be weighed, it turned out i weighed too much to get on it...then i was walking around, surrounded by skinny girls in skanky shirts, with boyfriends all over them like their skin tight pants...and i was there in baggy shorts, an oversized tee shirt and the sign "single and fat" blinking over my head like a damn beacon honing in on all the single fat dorky boys who's hobbies are video games, because of their asthma. i dont mean to sound superficial but i want to have a cute boyfriend, one all the girls like, or i want to be the girlfriend all the boys look at. but i'm not, i couldnt even keep a GIRLFRIEND! i'm just fat, and i'll forever be this way until the day i die.
i see it
i see it!
it's there
so unusual
and yet so ordinary
sor weird
and yet so beautiful
it's there
and time slows
and just as quickly
its gone
there, there,
nowhere
up, down,
all around
keep looking
you'll find another
all glitters and rainbow
lipgloss kisses spent
seek and you shall find
but dont look hard
or you'll missit
it's right in front of you
i see it
look close
yet far
and relax.
...
there it is.
MY SUICIDE
ah, my suicide
my music
i love it
no death of blood
no starving skeleton
no 18th hole to the head
i choose to drown
not in water
no liquid is sufficient enough
to kill my pain
no pill toxic enough
i choose to drown
in my music
"i love you, i hate you"
"i've become so numb"
"should i stay or should i go"
over my feet
over it flows
so comforting my old friends
covering my head
i dont flounder or panic
i embrace and inhale
the crash of guitars
the bass
the words of my gods
speak to me
and all pain is forgotten!
all the stress
all the hurt
is lost in the love
the love of unexplainable joy
the joy of words
Hey Ho, Let's Go! Mkay, it's getting dark outside, not because it's night or anything...bec
neway...i think kyla is mad at me, she barely talks to me and we're not as close as we used to be...despite all we've gone through...oh well, hi to all who read this! and vist gypsy rose, arsenic cherry, and polaroid of purity!