THE HISTORY OF CATWOMAN

SELINA KYLE’S CHILDHOOD was defined by tragedy.
When Selina was just a girl, her brutalized mother
committed suicide and her violent father drank himself
to death not long after. Separated from her younger
sister Magdalena and remanded to the Sprang Hall
Juvenile Detention Center—an abusive state home for
orphaned or delinquent girls—Selina opted instead to
take her chances on the mean streets of Gotham City.
Amid the crime and corruption of the poverty-stricken
East End district, she survived through petty theft.
Sharp wits and an amazing natural skill as a gymnast led to her
becoming the slickest and slipperiest cat burglar the Gotham City
Police Department had ever had to deal with.

FIRST APPEARANCE BATMAN: #1 (Spring 1940)
STATUS: Unresolved
REAL NAME: Selina Kyle
OCCUPATION: Cat burglar/vigilante
BASE: Gotham City’s East End
HEIGHT: 5ft 7in WEIGHT: 133 lbs EYES: Blue-green HAIR: Black
SPECIAL POWERS/ABILITIES: A formidable fighter with expertise in boxing
and various martial arts disciplines; skintight cat costume features
retractable razor-sharp claws in gloves and spring-action steel
climbing pitons in boots; wields a variety of bullwhips and
cat-o’-nine tails as offensive weapons and gymnastic accoutrements.
KEY STORYLINES
• CATWOMAN (1ST SERIES) #1-4 (FEBRUARY–MAY
1989) Selina Kyle’s life on the mean streets of
Gotham City is recounted.
• DETECTIVE COMICS #759-762
(AUGUST–NOVEMBER 2001) P.I. Slam Bradley is
hired to find the missing and presumed-dead
Selina.
• CATWOMAN (3RD SERIES) #1-4 (JANUARY–APRIL
2002) Catwoman stalks and defeats a
shape-changing serial killer who is
hunting Gotham’s ladies of
the evening.
THE FELINE FATALE
To protect herself from predators, Selina studied martial arts in a backstreet dojo where a
Sensei taught her how best to use her claws. Later, ex-heavyweight champ Ted Grant (see
WILDCAT I) taught Selina the “sweet science” of boxing. For a time, Selina was the most
accomplished thief nobody knew. She was also one of the most generous, spreading her
ill-gotten gains around the downtrodden and destitute of the East End,
including the young prostitute Holly “Gonightly”
Robinson, whom Selina befriended and
watched over like the little sister she
believed she no longer had.
Selina would have continued to rob
with impunity if not for the BATMAN.
Spying the Caped Crusader from her
window on one of his first outings, Selina
watched him in action and was suitably
inspired to take up her own costume when
prowling the Gotham night. In a tight
leather catsuit, Catwoman marked the city
as her territory. However, she never killed,
and she only stole from the wealthiest or
the well-insured. For these reasons, Batman
pursued other costumed criminals more relentlessly and gave Catwoman
the chance to change her spots. Sometimes he even asked the Princess
of Plunder to use her skills for the betterment of Gotham. Perhaps his
altruism attracted her, because Selina ultimately did decide to make
Catwoman more than just a thief in the night.
After faking her own demise, Selina left Gotham for a time, but
eventually returned to the city’s East End, where Catwoman now defends the defenseless.
Catwoman learned Batman’s best-kept secret when the Dark Knight took her to his
Batcave and revealed his identity to her. They finally admitted their feelings for each other
but then parted because Catwoman did not believe that Batman trusted her. Selina began
seeing private detective Slam Bradley, but Slam realized that Selina’s
heart would always belong to Batman.
Catwoman continues to enjoy
adventures on the “other” side
of the fence now, stealing only
when necessary and usually if
the loot will ultimately do
someone other than herself
a bit of good.

Everyone is always categorizing everyone else. Even I do it, even though I hate it. If I see a girl in tight clothes, clutching a boy's hand, I imagine them to be a bit of a slut or preppy. If I see a boy wearing tight jeans and a Hollister shirt and he's friends with all girls, I imagine he's gay. If I see a person in all black with dark eyeliner, I think they're going to love Manson and they probably imagine that they're goth. But in truth, none of these things really hold true. I've done my best to stop stereotyping, but I don't like it when people do it to me. At Notre Dame we all wear uniforms, even though we can tell what they'd wear normally. Because of these uniforms I think my mind has been a little changed. I am now basing people on personality and their actual thoughts, not just appearance. One of my best friends I thought was a slut when I got here. And she is, but she's so nice and funny. Some of my friends I thought were overachievers, but turns out they're art freaks (I mean that in the most positive way). One of my guy friends appears to be preppy but in reality is more of a stoner than anything. Everything changes. No one here sees me as punk or gothic or weird (or whatever they thought of me in Ste. Gen). They see me as a person, creative and fun-loving. And I think in return, I owe the same insight to everyone else who can look past the surface and get to know the real me.

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.  
            -David Viscott

It's weird how just the sound of a voice will make you melt. I always hear "Hello?" and at first wonder if it's you. I say "hey" and then I can hear you, too, relax. Your voice has such a quality to it that I fall back on my bed to listen to you. You take in my problems so that my load is shared, you listen to me whine, as if you were really here. You tell me about your day and don't mind if I interupt, you tell me little secrets and little stories, as I imagine you at home. Sometimes at night, I don't get to talk to you, I sit in my room at night wondering if I should sneak downstairs to talk. Sometimes I just feel a little hurt that you weren't there. I think a little irrationally, what if I just drove up the next day? What if I surprised you? Would you love me more? Or would my friends hate me more? Either way, every evening, after play and band, I call until I'm no longer allowed. Then I sit and think about how much I love you. Because I do, I love you so much.

So, I've always made fun of people that love video games...well people that obsess over them anyway. Well my brother got this Sega...AND IT IS SO STINKIN' COOL! I've become wildly obsessed with the wonderful world of Sonic the Hedgehog. I loves it. But yeah! ^_^
So guess what is coming up? Thanksgiving, you guessed it. I hate this holiday. All it does is signal the Christmas shows that will be replayed on every channel for the next 28-30 days and gives everyone a chance to be with family. My family compares waaaaay too much. Like we are all "My daughter....blah blah" and then someone replies with "Oh, that's great" fake "My son is blah blah". Oooh, Aaaah. Then we complain back in our minivans about eachother until that night when we come back together and we're fake and we watch movies and giggle at the stuff the babies do. Then the next day we go Christmas shopping, a thing I will not be allowed to do. *cry* I'll probably be stuck doing nothing or with someone really crabby. I won't even get to see Macy's. That's one of the things I look forward to!!! Then I have to wait forever for Christmas, on which I will get minimal presents. I don't really mind, maybe a good book, I'd like that. But I'd give up the others to let everyone else have something. I don't really care. And I'm not trying to be a martyr. I'm being serious. I like seeing other people get gifts more than I like getting them. But I just want books...Fallen Angels, Chuck Palahniuk, and others. Or stuff that's orange. Because I love orange. And that's really all. 

My mom has an idea. I'm not allowed to know what it is though. All I know is that today I got home from school to find a cheery mommy and a set of super cool muppet stamps, that i dig bueno. But mom said that we're a creative family, so we're gonna put our creative talents to use. For what? I dunno, she won't tell me. But she wants me to do charcoal drawings, like the girl I have on my front page. Stuff like that. She's gonna buy me big canvas and it's gonna be awesome!! I'm so all encompassingly psyched! My mommy supports my art and wants more of it! ^_^ But I think she's wanting to open up a store or something downtown, which would be pretty cool. If we would, I vote that I'll work there (duh) and I wanna get a cappaciuno maker. I'll make highly caffienated beverages before school and after, i'll milk, syrup, stir, and steam everyday, because how cool of a job could that be? i'll ask Rachel! Hey Rachelbabyboofluffykinnypoopie, what's it like being a barista? Do you ever take shots of espresso straight up? Mmmmm...I get shivery just thinking about it. *happy flood* But how cool would that be? But anyway...I have found out when I'm allowed to have a telephone again...and that would be whenever my grades are up and staying up. Which is where they are now. Mom just doesn't know. But whatever...besides, I'm pretty sure she'll let me come see ya'll for christmas, eh? (That is so weird, I just took a southern and nothern accent and mixed them together) I know she's not that heartless. Give her some credit people. Plus what I did was bad. Super bad. I'm never gonna do it again. Amen!

I have a plan. As the fact that I am going to Ste. Gen next year is purely a myth, no longer to be true. Ever. I've decided I'm going to ask Bro Dave if I can start either a photography club, film club, or a magazine. 

Photography: I want to study many forms of photography, get a camera from cheekwood (they give those cameras out to us!) and do activities where the club goes to take pictures. we'll assign major events to each member and they'll get to take the oober expensive camera with. we'll discuss photos we've taken and photos from other artists. I'll introduce them to deviantart. We'll do community service projects also.
Film: By film I mean all kinds. Not really the ones that are coming to a theatre near you, but independant films. I mean, sure we'll go over the classic films, movies that you should not go without seeing...Casablanca, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Monty Python, Spinal Tap, a few Disney, RENT,

DO NOT SHOPLIFT!!!!

WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU'LL JUST GET BANNED FROM THE STORE...IT'S A LIE!!!!!

BE GOOD KIDS!!!

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.

I GOT ARRESTED.

I GOT HANDCUFFED.

I HAVE THE BRUISES ON MY WRISTS TO PROVE IT.

JEFF GOT TO GET OUT OF HIS CELL LOTS, BUT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO. JEFF SUCKS.

NO MORE STEALING FOR ME.

I WAS ON A ROLE TOO. I HADN'T STOLEN FOR A LOOOOOONG TIME.

SO I'LL BE SEEING YOU ALL AGAIN AFTER CHRISTMAS.

I need a job. Mom's right. I could buy little things...just maybe some ice cream for me and Mitchell. I could get my bottles of water...pens. I would not be tempted to steal any longer! I could take my siblings and I to a movie and my mom could have a day off. I could have girls' day out with me and emma and we could go try on clothes at the mall even though we know we look hideous or they arent' our style. i'd buy us a band shirt at the sale that's going till eternity at hot topic...BOGO. I'd say no to her wanting some earrings and then turn around and get them anyway. I'd let her drive the van around the parking lot and then we'd go to taco bell for dinner and listen to our jam (dare-gorillaz).
If I had a job I could take Mitchell to the mall where he could get one video game or a movie. I'd buy him a new hoodie and then I'd drag him to the comic book store and see if he'd start reading comics. I'd then take him to whatever restaurant he wanted, then to Andy's ice cream for dessert to get my cherry sundae made from chocolate and his pint of chocolate.
If I had a job I could bring mom home a mountain dew and buy her tickets to the transyberian orchestra. we could go out to eat every so often, just mommy and me. I'd buy her books to read...I'd develop pictures of me, emma, and mitchell and then blow them up and frame them for her.
If I had a job, I'd visit everyone in Ste. Gen, bringing with me gifts of Jone's and those candy sticks from Dollar General. I'd leave random presents on doorsteps when I pass through town and I'd call, even though it costs money. I'd have my own gas money and I'd come to visit and take people to the movies, or just pass through and pick up people on my way, then go to the mall or the warrenton to see my loser family.
I super need to get a job.

As I sat on my front porch early this morning I realized how much I liked being able to see the sunrise. I sat in my jogging clothes, my hair unraveling from my bun and falling down around my face. I leaned against the rail and just looked around. Kids were on bikes heading towards their school day and I was preparing to go inside, but on my uniform, and go to school all over again. But I didn't feel so bad. It's amazing how much better I feel after I talk to a few people. I say a few words to people I haven't talked to in a while and find that I didn't have to apologize first, and the world seems a little more sane. I cried again last night, but I'm not sure why. I don't think it was out of anger or insanity. Maybe it was pure frustration as to why I can't be content with what and who am I. Why I can't look at my life and say "I'd do it all the same." Because I wouldn't. But I wish I could change it. But I can't change it and I need to come to grips with the fact that I'm just me. Just a sixteen year old that can't decide if she wants to be 10 years older or 10 years younger. So what am I doing about it? I'm writing. I'm starting a magazine...not like my last one where I only did one copy. I went to shivelbines and hempie's and the all said they'd put the magazine in their stores as long as they were free. i'll only ask for money if people want to receive issues. I've already started on topics and lists. people at school are interested which makes me happy. I'm drawing too. I'm sketching like a maniac which feels good. Normally I'm in a corner making sure that no one can see my drawings. Now I sit in the middle of class sketching things out when I have ideas and writing down lists of whatever strikes my fancy. My mind is on full and I think I know why. Even though it kind of makes me feel bad. It's because I don't have everyone's problems filling my head to the brim. I go to secret corner and read them there, but i don't know who they are, so i can't fix it. instead i try to be nicer to the people here, so they don't feel the same. here at school for some reason no one talks about their problems...they're all so positive which is okay with me. i don't hear a whole lot of problems from anyone, it's mostly goofy things. so my mind is free to take on new information and turn the information into creativity and spin facts my own way through writing and drawing. It's loads of fun. I think everyone should block themselves off from the world for one week. no tv, no traffic, no people. music is a maybe, only good music that's not angry...and then just sit with art materials and a nice notebook and pen. i suggest caligraphy pens. they make your writing prettier so you feel prettier for some reason. it will help. i'm going to do it as soon as i can. isolated from the land of the free gift with purchase and violent pornographies. i'll be in my own world, jai guru deva om.

So, I've figured, I think I've snapped! Not just the usual snapping like in my freshman year after having the biggest bitches in my science class and wanting to pop their heads like little cherries...no, I believe I have fully cracked. For example, I like to stare at the ceilings, all of a sudden, not that big of a deal, right? Well, today I freaked out a bit during Jr. Comp because I thought the ceiling was caving in, then I thought I could see the imprint of Jesus. They all thought I was high so I laughed like a maniac, Me? High? Baha! I got chewed out in journalism because I didn't change pictures on my spread and it took every fiber of my being to not laugh hysterically at Gina. So instead I snorted a lot and started to cry, which led her to freak out and hug me apologizing profusely, which led to me finally bursting out laughing, my classmates staring at me in open mouthed wonder, and i was sent to the guidance office. my counselor, ms. garner and i talked...kinda like this:
-So why are you here Danielle?
-God put me on earth, to change the way people think about everything.
-Do you really think that? And I meant in my office.
-Oh, sure I think that. And in your office, I think my mind is slowly breaking down and caving in upon itself. Mrs. Seabaugh and the rest of pubII seemed to agree, so here I am.
-Why is your mind "breaking down"?
-I have no clue.
-You have friends now, right? It's better than at the beginning of the year?
-Sure, friends. But it's not the same. In ste. gen i had friends whose shoulder i could lie my head on and talk about my problems. here if i say anything about my problems or try to hug anyone, they shirk me off as though i'm contagious. adam reinegal tried to hug me and i flinched. i felt really bad too. it's adam and i flinched, i'm not used to getting a lot of hugs anymore.

After an hour of intensive therapy and me asking why caroline was so stupid and couldn't they do something about it, i stumbled into chemistry and proceeded to fall asleep, right in the front of the classroom. ms. schaefer standing directly in front of me, and it was all i could do to occasionally look up and nod. i raced an old man home from school. i had jason in the van with me (poor guy) and i think i thoroughly freaked him out because an old man cut me off, so i got beside the old guy and smiled maniacally and jason said "dani, what are you going to do? don't hurt him...he's gonna die soon anyway." and i yelled "wanna race, bitch???" and took off. i bottomed out on the hill, which is pretty hard, i laughed the whole time and when i finally came to a stop i was sobbing, so jason made me let him drive. it's been like that all day, being so insanely happy then crashing into sob fests for no reason at all. i got on here and talked to nicole as though nothing were wrong, as though we hadn't gotten into an argument earlier. because i wanna say sorry, because i'm a pussy and i always give in first. you all know that right? ever seen me be in a fight with someone for more than a few days? nope! so then i talked to bananafish about xmen and hotwheels. then i started crying because i was really hungry but i didn't want to eat. then i started laugh-crying because i realized it's stupid to cry about being hungry but not wanting to eat. then i started to yell at my sketchbook "i hate you! why do you sit there and torment me with your blank pages and pretty charcoal sketches! bitch of sketchy doom!" then i realized, hey dani, you sound bonkers, what's your problem kid? better be careful or no one's gonna wanna talk to you...they'll think you're weird, how ironic...so i started laughing hysterically again between ridiculous little baby sobs, wondering if this is normal.

*Apparently this is where I'm going according to http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv


Seventh Level of Hell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level

I have no clue what's going on. Yesterday I was feeling just fine...a little emotional for some reason over Mr. Kuper liking my art, but fine. I came home, put on my jeans and tank, sat down, read my book, learned a little more about Wicca, and Emma and I ordered pizza. Yay Fridays, right? Well, I decided to get on elftown, see who's on, see if anyone messaged me, tell Nicole I might be able to go to her bonfire. I talk to this guy on here, with whom I've been discussing self-expression in the form of scented lubricant and pineapple hunting. Suddenly, one of my friends gets on and I'm happy to see that she's on, I love talking to her, she's quirky and odd, and I love that. Well soon all she's saying is my boyfriend is a jackass. So? What am I supposed to do about it? Everytime someone finds something wrong with Alex they come to me. You're boyfriend's gotten cocky, your boyfriend's hanging out with Christian a lot, your boyfriend's a jackass. Oh, I'm sorry, *snaps fingers* there, it's all taken care of. Now he'll go back to giving you all massages and being a bitch. Happy? I don't know what to do about it!! It's not like I'm the gate keeper to his brain or anything, I barely even get to talk to him myself.
And why is everyone suddenly chewing my ass out because when I do go to Ste. Gen, I don't call anyone first? Why is that such a big deal? I don't even call Alex about it. I don't know all your phone numbers! And by the way, I don't have a phone! I don't have a cell phone! My family is way in debt, our land lord may be going to jail, so shortly I may be homeless, too. I try to get on here and message people frequently and say current with everything, let you all know what's going on here and at Notre Dame. But for some reason everyone is still pissed at me. For Alex. For not calling on my nonworking cell phone. For changing! That pissed me off! I'm 'changing into something you're not ready for'? And I didn't let you know, either?? Well, maybe I know I'm changing, but I don't know what I'm changing into. I'm so confused, okay?? Ever since the 8th grade I've known after my 4 years of completed highschool at Ste. Genevieve R-II, I was going to go off to NYU with my best friend and we were going to be famous journalists, go clubbing, our kids would be best friends...well as good as punk and glam kids could get. I had it all planned out, remember? Now, you know what? I have no clue what I want to do. Journalism, sure. I like it, I'd love to be one. But how can I if my mom is basically making me stay here to go to SEMO for 2 years? I don't want to transfer. I wanted to take a year off, mom said no. I don't know what I want to do. I'm not even in the right school!! Okay??? I hate it here, are you happy?!?!?
Did you know that I cry almost nonstop until I fall asleep at night? Even when I'm on the phone with Alex or Morgan a lot of times I'm crying because I wish so bad I could be witting beside you all and talk to you, not 60 miles away in my nasty soon to be the government's house. i'm failing. I have c's and d's. no college wants that. i'm going to work at mcdonald's or something the rest of my life. are you all happy? are you fucking happy?? i'll give you all your damn mcchicken sandwiches with your mcstraws and mcfries. would you like any ketchup or salt? see i can do that already. i can barely eat! yay! ^_^ Every time I sit down to a meal I feel really really really depressed and fat. A lot of you are "no, you're cute and chubby" yeah because being fat and disgusting are really the qualities of cuteness. a chipmunk is chubby and cute, why? because it's furry and with a tail. i'm not furry with a tail. i'm stupid, ugly, fat, depressed me! okay? now if you all need to talk to me, or anything, how about YOU call ME? Long distance? Oh, excuse me, I didn't know I was the only one that had the money to call people. 

So you know what? I think that I'll just stay right here, perhaps almost get raped again! maybe come into close contact with death! eat some lead paint on accident, end up in the hospital, would you all come visit me if i was? maybe i should make near death experiences a frequent occurence so i can see all my friends! ^_^

Things that are annoying:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
F****** right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the f*** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I
paid to come to the cinema and stare at the f****** floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f***?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f****** does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. Macdonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a Mcchicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank
looks...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.
14. When you involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you all right?'. Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

I'm the "nice girl"?
When have I ever been listed as the "nice girl" in anyone's book?
Today was a "no-stress day" for some reason in every class. So we sat doing absolutely nothing. First I was reading one of my all time favorite books, Born Confused, then I was reading a book on Wicca loaned to me by a friend. Eventually I was bored so I began to draw on myself. Just random pretty patterns. Swirling vines, blooming flowers, small buds, little leafs, curling lines leading up my wrist onto my hands around my ring finger. Suddenly I realized that people were watching me, I felt my heart jump, I hated it when I wasn't paying attention and get asked a question.
They wanted me to do their hands also. So I just said okay. They were nice about it and they have me liquid eyeliner to do it, much prettier than pen. By lunch all kinds of girls (and a few odd guys) were walkie around with henna-esque designs on their arms. I made a small one for Brother David. Then I was sitting in the commons after lunch. I was just sitting in a corner, listening to "Clocks" and sketching in my sketch book and I notice someone next to me. It was a teacher so I looked up, wondering if I had done something wrong. Then I noticed Alisha. Mr. Kuper asked to see my notebook...I couldn't say no...there was no "invasion of privacy" stuff here...this was a private school, but I knew I had some things in there that were a little on the morbid side or that may show some skin. Mr. Kuper started from the beginning and flipped through it handing it to me and wiping his hands on his pants. I apologized, I didn't have any sort of sealer to put over the charcoal so I used hairspray.
He asked me why I wasn't in art.
I said it wasn't an option for me.
He didn't understand.
I want to be a journalist, my hours are all filled there's no room for an art class, as much as I want one.
He said I shouldn't waste a talent...and he said I had a lot of creativity, talent, and a style all my own. Something he said he hadn't seen in a while. He gave me a list of art colleges and said to look into them. And he said if I ever needed art supplies to come to him...and with that he walked off. 8th hour there's a knock...Mr. Kuper comes in a hands me a bottle of sealant. For my pictures. He says he wants to see more.

I don't think I'm that talented. It's not like this school is devoid of talent...there are so many awesome artists I'm surprised he noticed me at all (well, with the help of Alisha). I just draw, paint, and sketch when I'm feeling any particular mood. I don't get what was so great. But it did make my day...that and everyone saying that if they wanted the eyeliner designs to go to "that nice girl over there".

It's amazing how much I ignored myself. I was never the "artsy" one before...I was the weird one. Even though I knew it was there...and now I'm letting it all out...and I'm surprised by how many people still like me. I just hope those that knew me before will still accept me.

I sift through the ashes of my algebra homework and theology reminders in my mind. behind the lists of music to listen to, behind the lists of books i've been recommended to. behind the reminder to jog at 5am, behind the idea for morgan's birthday present, behind even the memories of my family is you. all of you, in fact. i remember trying to out-read miranda and always ending up in second except for one brief day when i was ahead by 2.5 points. i remember asking morgan in her knee high rainbow socks if she was dating dorky matthew paul braun and she groaned. i remember never being able to kiss matt because i was afraid. i remember breaking up with eric because he was "too nice". i remember nathan giving me a necklace and cody letting me wear his shoes. i remember rachel smiling and me hoping so badly that one day we could be friends. i remember looking at johnny boyd jr. and thinking he was hot in stu co and then thinking alex was hilarious and spencer had an unfortunate last name. i remember beauchamp being my number one guy friend in the world (as we called our friendship one summer) and i remember cheerleading and having so much fun actually being involved and i loved being able to do chelsea's hair. i remember asking xavier out in 7th grade and him saying no. i remember sharing pecans, i believe, with abby in mr. bierman's class. i remember natasha being teeny...oh wait, she still is. i remember meeting mr. smith and finding him extremely odd. i remember pat always wearing red...blue was for special occassions. nate was mattie's cousin and i had a huge crush on him. i remember kicking brandon's ass for calling me fat. i remember codey jo being there all the time. i remember me and morgan finally talking again after a year. i remember meeting nicole and thinking that she reminded me of the south and biscuits, oddly. i remember wanting to date robbie. i remember kyla. that's all i'll say about that. i remember karen and christian (who doesn't) and matt otte whom i dated once and randy heberlie broke us up. i remember my first two kisses by two seperate people. i remember being backstage and holding hands, hugging, and feeling like i wanted to freeze time forever. i remember it all and i keep it in my mind. even though there's other things that come first i never stop thinking about all of it. every night i think. about all of you. i think of miranda being my best friend and mom (the good kind) all in one. morgan is my support. rachel brightens my day. sarah makes me laugh and not feel ashamed of myself. nicole makes me question my sexuality ;) aubrey makes me want to dance. abby makes me want a kitty for some reason. alex...you make me want to do too many things to think of. i love you all and i'll always have you in my mind, to pull out between classes, in church, at lunch, at night, and even when i'm running, i always think of you.

So I wake up this morning around 10am and go downstairs. In my brother's room I find my brother on his couch, a sleeping bag wrapped around him, dark circles under his eyes, his hair all spikey and messy, he's zoned out watching scooby doo and there's candy wrappers surrounding him.

it kind of freaked me out.

so then he and i got some mountain dew, popcorn balls, and candy, sat in the living room and zoned out on the big tv! ^_^ oh the lovely days of after Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

I haven't said that in so long and actually meant it. I love Halloween, it's my favorite holiday besides St. Patrick's day (I know, I love obscure holidays). But it's never been the greatest. I've wanted to have Halloween parties, but then never did. I used to go trick or treating until Mattie and I moved away from eachother and I had no one to go be a dork with. Last year I sat on my front porch and cried, actually cried, over the fact that everyone in my family hates Halloween. Mom thinks it's another excuse to spend money, Mitchell says it's scaring and he just likes the candy, and Emma just gave me her 'I'm way too mature for that' look. I wanted to dress up, to watch a scary movie, to eat candy till I puked, make a jack o' lantern, and then go to the mall the next day to see all the christmas decorations. But instead I had to sit on my front porch in a sparkly pink dress, my hair done up, my make up on, all glittery and fairy dust, and I cried. I bet I looked kind of pretty. I wish someone had taken my picture.
But this year was much better.
I was invited to a previous party, but gas being so expensive and me with no job made the party off limits, so I went to a friend's down the street. What did I dress up as? I don't know. I was an indian on Friday at school (oh the costumes were so awesome!! I can't wait till next year, I'm going with a few guys and a few girls as a band and groupies...I'm in the band with the girls) But on Saturday, I wanted to dress up differently for the party, so mom gave me $10 to get whatever I needed. So I got black fishnets, fake eyelashes, and black hair dye. I borrowed super high high heels from Dana (who said I could keep them! ^_^) and I came home with Emma, giggling the whole time. We went into the bathroom and Emma died my hair black. Around 7 I put on a plaid shirt, black tank, leather trench coat, fishnets, heels, I teased my hair, put on the eyelashes and dark make up. I put on chokers and pearls and went to the party. I had an awesome time. It was kind of juvenile, no really good music...but we played some fun games, I got to swing dance with Adam and Doyle. I played volleyball with balloons against Jack and Raymond. Everyone laughed when I told them I guess I was a hooker for halloween. I came home completely happy and I went to sleep smiling. The next day I went to church and talked the party over with a few people and we all said goodbye. Emma, Cassie, Mitchell, and I set up the porch as a haunted area for little kids on Halloween with black lights, strobe lights, and streamers. Today I woke up, took mom and the chillins' to school and I went to Vicki's to watch my movie for Jr. Comp. I watched Bonnie and Clyde (it was sooooo sad!!! At the end they get riddled with bullets and the guys just keep shooting! They don't stop! Ahhh!!!) and I drank Vicki's soda. I collected the kids at 11am...We finished setting up the porch and then I took a nap. I got mom, came home, put on my hooker outfit and put make up on all the other kids. I went trick or treating with Mitchell and Kaitie and some college guys gave me candy because I was "cute". I gave it to Kaitie. She's "cuter". Then all the kids and non family members went to the haunted school at St. Mary's. Mom and I made popcorn balls and watched poltergeist. I took weird pictures of me posing in my goth hooker outfit, of my pumpkin (it looks like Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas!) and now I'm on here. I'm going to borrow the Ring and The Faculty from Vicki. Because Halloween isn't over. And I still don't have school tomorrow. ^_^

so i think i was a hooker for jackie's halloween party. i'm not sure, but i think i was. ^_^