Approvazione, ora scriverò uno che è poco un più facile da capire. Realmente desidero elemosinare la mia madre lo ho lasciato venire a casa. Non sono realmente felice qui. Ma, lo fingo sono in modo che la gente smetta di preoccuparsi per me. Tutto che mi sentissi mai era 'io sono preoccupato per voi 'ed ora non desidero quello. Desidero appena andare ancora a casa ed essere normale. Qui sono come uno straniero. Provengo "dal sud". Lo elemosinano dire le cose un rid il mio accento. È superfluo. Rachel è occasionalmente il diavolo e Susanna sta andando ucciderlo, eventualmente prima che uccida Andrew. Amo il mio dad, ma non è mai intorno. Così non è molto differente da prima. Desidero realmente appena venire sede e rimanere domestico.


This one is in italian if you want to waste time to try and have it translated.

如此, 我無法得到我的頭在它附近。我真正地喜歡這個男孩仍然我知道他無法是我的。他曾經是但我現在不感覺連接在我們之間。我告訴他並且我們不談話為長期。它是好像他甚而不喜歡我。我祝願我從未會搬走。並且我知道這真正地不事關因為它不是像任何人可能讀這。或將嘗試。但它看起來整潔。我仍然愛亞歷克斯。

sweet...

Me and Kurt are over.

Like I told Morgan:
"One night stands from now on."

And I've had a few:
jason
keith
brandon
kurt

not bad

I need to quit smoking.

Excuse me while I go light this on the toaster...

DO NOT FLOAT ABOVE ME WHEN I'M DYING IN THE ABYSS!
JOHN! YOU'RE KID TRIED TO DROWNED ME WITH HIS FUCKIN DAFFY DUCK RAFT!

cleaning my room....
rearranging my room...
trying to find my cds...
trying to find places for everything...

all at 4am.
just like old times, eh?

everyone that knows me knows i'm up till 4 or 5 and sleep until noon. and if you wake me up i'll throw things at you.

yeah, remember spending the night at miranda's? and the michael jackson song w/macy gray and ozzy?

"geed me a scodge on throcksss-z...an a madini...evyboddy in da hod tub!"

"difference between FAKE ASS friends and REAL friends


FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"


FAKE ASS FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."



FAKE ASS FRIENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

#3 on my To Do List is not going so well...

I think Polyphonic Spree is one of the coolest bands ever. I love their music! Oh, so much! ^^
Their music can be found on
-Thumbsucker
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

and I'm sure others, but once I found out they were on two of my favorite movies, I had to listen! I now rate them as #1 lust! Woo!

Kill the hosers.

On your birthday, I wore black.

I'm trying to let you go. I'm trying so hard.

To Do List:

1. Get a car

2. Cut back on smoking

3. Quit drinking soda (my last one is tonight)

4. Start running again

5. Go single

6. Start painting again

7. Finish my writing

8. Plan my trip

9. Burn cds for friends

10. Lose weight

11. Start a diary with no dates

12. Hug my dad

13. Let go of a certain someone

14. Cry myself to sleep one last time

15. Start a normal bed time routine

16. Get contacts (maybe)

17. Start saving money

18. Pray

19. Come to grips with the fact that I am me.

20. Clean on a regular basis.

Rich people. Here in Brainerd we have shitloads of tourism. They are fondly known as citiots. They have huge cabins and houses on the lakes, they clog up traffic with their boats, campers, jet skis, 4 wheelers, etc and make it impossible to get to Wal*Mart in under twenty five minutes. I have a theory. I don't think rich people can go to heaven. I think they have to build their "heaven" while on Earth. So they build these monstrosity houses and call it home. It's because they'll never get into heaven. So they enjoy what they can now. That's my theory.

I better get into Heaven! I've gone through shit some people can't even imagine!

So, I'm watching Heavy on VH1 and I discovered that I have a deep love of Marilyn Manson. I love what he said about Columbine. They asked what he would've said to those kids if he had the chance. He said "I wouldn't say anything. I would've listened. That's what was wrong. No one listened to them." I think that's one of the smartest things anyone has ever said! I love what he said about he thinks of himself as an artist and that art is a question mark. I've dedicated one of my recent paintings to him and that quote. Once I can, I'll post a picture up here, seeing as I have no way to put up any pictures or art. But don't worry....I will.

On a more personal note, I'm still losing weight. I've started taking diet pills but not in the obsessive speed effect way. I eat all the time though, seeing as how Dad has a grilled cheese maker, I eat grilled cheese all the time. And I don't trust tap water so I always drink soda (pop). But I've become more active, I walk everywhere, I chase Miss Susie Q and I work out with Kurt a few times a week. Rachel said we needed to go shopping, but what the hell? I'll just wait, save up my money for if I super lose weight and I'll need to buy a whole new wardrobe. Which would be cool. ^^

Me and Kurt haven't seen a lot of eachother recently, except when we work out. I don't call him my 'boyfriend' a term which means nothing really. But I'm pretty happy. It's what I wanted right? I said one night stands only. It makes me feel better. Men played me my whole life and now I'm playing them. Ha.

Well, I'm applying for a position on Elftown, I want to be a crew member. I said I wanted to be the "Dear Abbey" of Elftown. If you wanna see my application (they require applications!) go to Idyllic Ideas. Pretty cool, eh?

A white man yells to a black man. "Hey colored boy! You're blockin my view."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
SOME PEOPLES NERVES, ESPECAILLY THOSE DAMN CAUCASIANS.

I've decided that if I'm going to smoke while I do everything, I should do it while writing. A lot of writers smoke. And they smoke while they write and drink coffee. While the coffee part always makes me gag, I do love to write. I've decided that I'm going to start sending pieces to magazines under pseudonoms and read it and giggle with pleasure. It's fun to have little secrets. ^_^ I'm also (finally) going to get some zooms for my camera so that I can finally take some good pictures. At school I am going to take a photography class and we get to learn to use a dark room. I want to have a dark room one day. It'd be fun and it'd make me feel artsy fartsy. Well...I'm going to watch Nickelodeon. Aaah....the joy of cable.