Well i thought a crotch is kinda laid back,
watchin them peckers tryin to get in her crack,
im gettin messy when there slippin off the track.
thank god im a pubic hair
So she fluffs me upwhen shes goin on a date.
washes the inside when shes guna masterbate.
scratches me to death cause her periods late.
thank god im a pubic hair.
When shes not really horny, she uses vaseline.
Takes a little shower and rubs me clean.
I appreciate it when im coverd with cream.
Thank god im a pubic hair.
well i like it when they eat but i dont like when they diddle.
i get crushed when there pounding on her middle.
curl right up when she takes a little piddle,
thank god im a pubic hair!
i saw this on someones page and thought it was funny....'Besi
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go berserk?
Well. . .
You left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I had said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
Right. . .
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed
And then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad!
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds?!!
Hah. . .
Well you just wait
They'll find you yet
And when they do they'll
Put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!
And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
ok can someone explain to me the new trend....build
pull up a chair, sit on the floor,
ill tell ya a story youve heard of before.
one fine day in the middle of the night,
2dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot on another.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
aand saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you dont believe this lie is true,
ast the blind man he saw it to......woo a classic but i still love it
you no how much i love my hair? well if i can raise £100 for the tsunami appeal then ill cut it2 how short the school will let me...so i expect some people from school to hcok up the dosh! and malc said that he'll make up the difference!
ok so i feel better cuz i found my comp was fixed whn i got home and i went to my big bros today and he bought me a set top box and he bought me some 'desial' smelly stuff which was nice and i saw all my nephews open there prezzys so im happy
ok so this isnt good....off my mom i got a graphics tablet and a wireless keybord and mouse...took them to plug um into my computer and it broke im really pissed off...i got my fone cant use it i got my computer stuff cant use them thats about 400 quids wort of stuff i cant bloody use
im really annoyed...i went into argos today and paid 250 quid for a fone took it home and it would even charge then i looked at it closely and it had all scratches and things over it and it looked like a second hand fone and y the time i realised and tried to get back to town argos had closed so that means i wont get my new fone 4 xmas :@
Chav Jokes!
1.What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
(or Britney Spears)
7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
11. 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
12. Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?
Up the "Gary"!
i thought id add this now being as thought the two people who are aimed at arnt talking to me even though ive done nothing wrong so i decided to give u a reason to not talk to me
Lucy-look lets face it scott isnt gonna get back with u, nothing uve done...get over it, nobody likes to hear the same thing over and over 'oh im so sad scotts done this and scotts done that' it annoys alot of people, and the other night when u wanted to go upto sebs and then half way up the hill u went home that was just rude. Another thing to add u had a go at abby about her diary and it wasnt even anything to do with u...believe it or not the world doesnt revolve around u and ur problems, and lets face it, scott was bound to break up with you if you kept being arsy with him.
Nikki- Jerrod is a twat, he always has been and always will be it might not be his falt its probably just because he's american. But do you remember what happened last time cuz i can u ended up in tears at what he had done to you, he will do it again if u allow him to, im not telling you to do this but the best thing to do would be to block him. Next point, when he did that to u, u were upset, and who was there for you? abby, abbys the one who always cares for people and doesnt mean to offend them and then u told her to fuck off for trien to look out for u? u really hurt her..all of u did when u started to gang up on her, good friends u are...isnt she allowed to have her own oppinion? surley nikki ur best friend for 8/9 years means more to u then a couple of words from a virtual friend?
for gods sake everyone sort urselves out
this is a section of edgar allan poe's short story 'the tell tail heart' i hope u find it as amusing as i did...
"when i had made an opening sufficient for my head....and then i thrust in my head. oh you would have laughted to see how cunningly i thrust it in i moved it slowly, very, very slowely so that i wouldnt disturb the old mans sleep. It took me an hour to place my hole head within the opening so far that i could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!"
this is a section of edgar allan poe's short story 'the tell tail heart' i hope u find it as amusing as i did...
"when i had made an opening suffisiont for my head....and then i thrust in my head. oh you would have laughted to see how cunningly i thrust it in i moved it slowly, very, very slowely so that i wouldnt disturb the old mands sleep. It took me an hour to place my hole head within the opening so far that i could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!"
was caught throwin rubber across the classroom today she told me to right a letter of why it was immature to throw rubbers across the class this is what i put...Throwing pieces of eraser is a silly and immature thing to do because, if I throw too many pieces or rubber and they all land in a big pile they could be dangerous as someone might fall on them and land on a nail on the floor poking both there eyes out as the person rolled over and the nail hit the other eye, this is also a silly thing to do as I am not taking in consideration to how hard the cleaners work, and that my actions of throwing the bits of rubber across the classroom might cause them to have to work later then they should, which may as a result cause them many family troubles and cause them to severe drinking and depression to which the government will have to give the cleaners many pills which will cost the government a lot of money which intern may lead to the government having to put up the taxes, this happening will make those who can barley afford to pay there taxes at the moment having no money and starving to death so just because of my stupid actions of throwing a tiny piece of rubber across the classroom may cause the death and severe depression of hundreds of thousands of people across the UK and intern this may cause there family’s to become depressed which may spread across the hole world and before we all know it the whole world will become depressed and this is all because I threw the tiniest bit of rubber across Mrs Caldecote’s class. Or I might just hit someone in the eye which will hurt for a while. And cause me to get in a bit of trouble which to me will be the end of the world, and we don’t want that do we?
Throwing rubber is iresponcible and rubbers can cost quite a bit, here is some research: at ASDA a rubber will cost 75 pence however comparing this to the same rubber which cost 79 pence at WHSmith, we have now uncovered a scandle. Any hoo the morel of this report is that asda is cheaper than WHSmith.
my girfriend farted on my leg i cant believe it and it smelt
i am so annoyed my g/f (abby)'s dad last night said that i had brought FLEAS in his house, he doesnt even have fleas in his bloody house im so annyed i new he hated me but thats just not fair
ok school for the past two years have given me maths first period on monday.....why
im sad now :( abby went home and i miss her sooo much :(:(:(:(:( schools messed everything up
Alex Parker
“The Light Fantastic”
Inspired by Terry Pratchett
As the day drew on, and the weather began to reflect Rincewind’s mood decidedly unpleasant! Twoflower’s relentless optimism began to irritate Rincewind almost as much as the near starvation & incessant rain they had suffered for what seemed an eternity. In fact the only positive things that had happened to our intrepid duo that day had been their chance encounter with Swires the gnome (and that was what he was despite not fully satisfying Twoflower’s rather idyllic criteria.) and that they had not yet faced certain death that day, whose increasingly regular appearances were becoming of growing concern to Rincewind if not the blissfully ignorant Twoflower.
Rincewind wrapped the remnants of his cloak around him as they continued to trudge after Swires, trying his level best to ignore even the best efforts of the trees to engage him in conversation a very disconcerting feature of even an enchanted forest. Especially annoying was the fact that the large majority of the forest kept telling Rincewind of their aspirations to become furniture, just like Luggage. Luggage, Twoflower’s personal walking suitcase, walked with a swagger, and occasionally rubbed up against the more complimentary trees. Of course, Twoflower was overwhelmed at the idea of Enchanted trees, trying to engage with them in conversation.
Rincewind shook his head. “They certify people who talk to trees. I hear that the asylum in Ankh-Morpork is looking for new guests like you.”
Twoflower stopped his chatter with the old oak with dreams of tablehood. “What’s that? You never showed me the asylum. Sounds quaint.”
“Oh yes, you’d fit right in. I’ll take you there when we get back… If they’ve rebuilt it, of course.” Rincewind hissed.
“Oh, I must get a picture. I do wish I could’ve afforded that audiograph back in the Agatean Empire.”
Rincewind sighed. Clearly his wit was lost on the tourist. It appeared that he was talking to the ecosystem again. The imp popped out of the device in Twoflower’s hands. “Now, you be careful how many pictures you take here,” he moaned, “I’ve only got a limited supply of green. And we’re still out of pink.”
Twoflower looked bemused “Well, can’t you improvise?”
“I could if you’d get me something suitable” the Imp replied.
Twoflower was off into the tree-line, rooting around in the brambles. Treading on a bit of root, one annoyed Elm yelped “Ouch, mind who’s feet you’re treading on.” Twoflower was mortified. “Oh… I’m so sorry, really.”
“Try further in, you’ll find a moss suitable for the purpose. It gives a lovely deep green sap.”
Thanking the tree profusely, he called to Rincewind for help, disappearing further into the forest. Rincewind shrugged, and muttering to himself, followed, luggage in tow.
Twoflower entered a clearing, Rincewind just behind him, where he saw the moss on the other side. Racing over into the centre of the clearing, Twoflower disappeared as the ground gave way. The wizard and the Luggage dashed off to see what trouble the tourist had gotten into this time, when Rincewind tripped over the Luggage and went sliding into the pit.
Hanging off a root, Rincewind spotted Twoflower on the other side of the pit, in the same situation. Above Twoflower’s head, the Luggage could be seen peering into the hole, shrugged his lid, and settled down on the forest floor.
Standing on the jagged rocks below, the far too familiar figure of Death, scythe in hand, looked up at the wizard. Checking his wrist mounted hourglass, and looking more impatient than a grinning skull should be able to, he sighed.
“YOU AGAIN? WILL YOU HURRY UP, NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE TIME TO HANG AROUND ALL DAY.”
im very very tired i think ill goto bed...