All right then. No more talking to them online. I'm through with that. Ball's in their court now. Should they want to make amends... well, they can talk to me. Like people were meant to do.

My Life's Soundtrack

OPENING CREDITS: Eminence Front - the Who

WAKING UP: White Men in Black Suits - Everclear

AVERAGE DAY: Deadbeat Holiday – Green Day

FIRST DATE: 13 Stitches - NOFX

FALLING IN LOVE: All Messed Up – Breaking Point

LOVE SCENE: Closer – Nine Inch Nails

BREAKING UP: Rest Stop – Matchbox Twenty

GETTING BACK TOGETHER: Cecelia – Simon and Garfunkel

SECRET LOVE: Why Don’t You Come Over - Garbage

LIFES OKAY: Got To Get You Into My Life – the Beatles

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: Brain Damage – Pink Floyd

DRIVING: Goin’ Mobile – the Who

LEARNING A LESSON: Education – the Kinks

DEEP THOUGHTS: I’m Thinking – Autopilot Off

FLASHBACK: A Day in the Life - Beatles

PARTYING: Bodies – Drowning Pool

HAPPY DANCE: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

REGRETNG: Forget It - Breaking Benjamin

LONG NIGHT ALONE: Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor

DEATH SCENE: Goodbye Cruel World – Pink Floyd

CLOSING CREDITS: She’s Got It All Worked Out - Semisonic

(stolen with permission from Steppanwolf)

[11-27] Snatches of song... "I wish I had a metal heart..." "So kill me with the love that you won't give to me..." "I don't want to wake up on my own anymore..." "I'll be leaving soon..."

[11-15] Mass confusion. Who the devil am I, anyway? And what the devil do I want?

COLD FEET! erlack.

Ouch! This isn't good.

Ow. Love. Confusion. Ow.

I got a little tired of never being called
Yeah I got a little sick of always being stalled
And that is why I said that "we should just be friends.
Go on, baby, get on home; this is where it ends".

And to tell you the truth, I got tired of the lies,
And never knowing what to do to get us to survive
Thanks for finally getting me to open up my eyes
I don't think you're worth it and that's really no surprise.

You said I broke your heart, and maybe that was true
How come, though, you never ever told me, "I love you"?
It was shit like that which made me call and tell you we were through
Seems to me that was the practical thing to do

And to tell you the truth, I got tired of the lies,
And never knowing what to do to get us to survive
Thanks for finally getting me to open up my eyes
I don't think you're worth it and that's really no surprise.

Now a year has gone and you've written me to say
That you miss me? need me? kiss me? thought of me today
You've met my new boyfriend, now you realise it's true
That I never ever would have run away with you

And to tell you the truth, it's really no surprise
There never really was a way to get us to survive
Now today I'm really glad I opened up my eyes
I couldn't make you worth it and that's really no surprise.

"Heal my heart and drown my woe." - Billy Boyd

I love him so much that I cried last night.
Crazy.

Now I think about it, I've never cried for any male-related reason before. EVER. Not even when Bush got re-elected.

"Oh, I gotta see you..." - Jimi Hendrix

[10-22] Mmmmkay, updated blogs below... Hawks won, yay; Hawkeyes lost, boo/hiss. I'm tired. Huzzah. Finished "The Stand" by Stephen King... good book.
[NEW SONG!!!!! YAY!!!!!] at http://green-day666.diaryland.com/051022_95.html go!

[10-20] Had a lovely conversation with Justin today.... heehee, he's a funny kid... Chem and Spanish tests tomorrow... eew...blogs haven't been updated... well maybe they have... you expect me to remember? I love you Jim!

Random diary entry. I felt like I was neglecting it. *brushes cobwebs from corners* I'm working on a new story, working title "Karas" involving...well, I'll tell you later, I gotta go. Byall!

[8-12-05] "You knows I loves you..." Party at Derek's tonight. I need a ride home! *pout* I miss Canada as well. Parade tomorrow in Ryan.. erlack. I'm in Dubuque at the moment, so I'm-a go be socialish. Bya!

STRUDEL WILL WIN! Buwahahahaha... Actually I have no idea what to write today, as I'm tired and...well...in Dubuque. So... yeah... anyone who reads this and is going to Derek's and might be able to give me a ride home, please message ASAP. Thankee!

Mmmkay. Since I'm a slut, allegedly, I think I can tell all in safety now. Girls, your "friend" Hannah is a lesbian, so proved with the assistance of two of her friends of varying genders. Thank you very much. The test I ran proved negative on the guy and positive on the girl; being that intimate and "slutty" with a guy proved to not arouse me in the slightest. Thank you guys for your unwavering support of my sexuality. And I was so happy from camp, I had new friends I wanted to show you. I hope you can see it from my end of the tunnel and I can still make you guess how old Evan is. 

Chelsea, if you read this: I really wish you wouldn't have used my name on the internet, or you'd talked to me on the phone. Without the help of your blog, I wouldn't have known who Carrie was talking about. But, FYI, I have my period right now and I have yet to lose my virginity and never intend to lose it to a male, so I don't know how I got pregnant. Maybe an incubus? Right.

7-20-05] I've figured out who Pink in The Wall reminds me of... Dan/[Disconnection]! I've posted some of my blog addresses below...
OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO MOLLY'S TOMORROW AND THEN TO CANADA FOR BAND CAMP! *dies*

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?

I love Pink Floyd... *death*

[7-19-05]: Insomnia is not a sign of serious mental illness or depression, no matter what mum says. Now, if she'd notice some of my other odd behaviour, then maybe she'd have good reason to think I'm crazy...

[Fourish days until band camp!]

[7-18-05]: I think what I think and sometimes I can't help what I feel, so I have to feel what I feel. Certain people rankle with me, rub my fur the wrong way... or they would if I had fur. Some are fictional characters, some are real people, some are shadows (i.e. mine). But really, asking my opinion and then going around and telling me that my OPINION... my personal thoughts, my perceptions that are neither right nor incorrect... are wrong. Man that gets on my nerves.

Fiveish days until band camp!

--that's from yesterday, note the note at the top.

It just so happens that between the rich pretty boy who has it all and the tortured artist, I'd pick the tortured artist. And that's the way I am, not me trying to be cryptic or misunderstood... that's a fact of my life.

Hm. I've been alienated from the male bit of the human race for awhile. He (who shall remain unnamed) has changed so much that I'm estranged from male affection, at least for the time being. 

www.livejournal.com/users/sebhar , er, I think.