[Sebhar]'s diary
A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y
1. do you like anyone?: Oh indeed
2. do they know it?: he certainly should... although I've not come out and said it in a way he'd take seriously (I'm a hint-dropper)
A R E Y O U
1. simple or complicated?: I may seem complicated at first, but I'm really quite simple
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Had sex: No, and I actually never have. Now, you find me ten other virgins by choice hanging around this godforsaken internet, and I'll hug you.
2. Bought something: Tguh, bought myself lunch and some tea for Mum today
3. Gotten sick? I got sick last month, and I'm still sick. Colds suck.
4. Been hugged? Yesh.
5. Been kissed: I can't honestly remember
7. Felt stupid: I've recently been used. Would you feel stupid?
8. Talked to an ex: for four hours. On the phone. Dirty. I sicken myself.
9. Missed someone: Only the one, recently.
10. Got drunk: As a matter of fact, I have not. Buzzes are different.
11. Gotten high: On life, on living, on the sheer brilliance of Tim Burton's existence
12. Danced crazy: Like no one's watching, baby.
13. Gotten your hair cut: I actually don't think so.
14. Watched cartoons: Futurama, Family Guy... South Park...
15. Lied: I do my best not to, but sometimes I feel I have to spare people's feelings.
U N I Q U E
1. Nervous habits?: I bite my nails
2. Are you double jointed?: I actually don't know what that means.
3. Can you roll your tongue?: Yes, and I can do a three- or four-leaf clover.
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Independently of the other one? Yes. But only one.
5. Can you cross your eyes?: Yes, and I can also make it so it looks like I have no irises.
6. Do you make your bed daily? What's the point? It's just going to get mussed again, even if I don't sleep in it for days.
7. Do you think you are unique? Unique as everyone else.
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love you" and meant it?: Damn, today.
2. Given money to a homeless person: I think so.
M A N N E R S
1. Do you swear?: Constantly
2. Do you ever spit?: When expelling gum or mucus
3. You cook your own food?: Mmm, Gardenburger meals.... throw them in the microwave, push a few buttons, and voila, meal!
4. You do your own chores? Who else is gonna do them, the siblings?
5. You got laid today?: Nope, and I'm not upset about it.
6. You like beef jerky?: Uck.
7. You like pepsi or coke?: Coke
9. You're happy with your hair?: some days.
10. You own a dog?: neh.
11. You spend your money wisely? when I don't have it, yeah
12. You're always making new friends?: I'm friendly, but some people, that freaks out.
13. You like to swim?: I was a fish in the past light.
14. You got bored so you call a friend? Almost constantly.
15. You're patient? MMoof, I try.
D O Y O U P R E F E R
1. flowers or angels?: Flowers
2. gray or black? Black. "I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside. I know I'm unloveable..."
3. Color or black and white photos? Full spectrum for memories, greyscale for artsy schtuff
4. lust or love?: Love. When you prize your virginity, lust doesn't go very far.
5. sunrise or sunset?: Sunsets, they're more romantic (and I'm usually awake for them)
6. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&M's....skitt
7. rap or rock?: I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day. So I do.
8. staying up late or waking up early?: OUT LATE!
D O Y O U P R E F E R
1. being hot or cold?: I like being warm, because since I'm a cold-blooded person, it means I'm snuggling with someone I love.
2. sun or moon?: Moon. she's a beauty, that moon...
3. Winter or Fall?: Fall
4. left or right?: both, either or... I eat better with my left and write better with my right, but I can switch. I also switch hit.
5. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends: 2 best friends to console with, 10 acquaintences with which to get out of the house and meet people (directly stolen from Bill, but sums it up so well)
6. sun or rain?: Ach, depends on the day. I like sun in winter and rain in summer.
7. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: Chocolate. I'm female.
8. boys or girls?: I bat for both teams.
9. vodka or jack?: I'm a beer girl. Keep it simple. Heehee.
A B O U T Y O U?
What time is it?: 2:42 pm Central time
what's your name?: Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, wait, it's Hannah.. shh, don't tell!
[12-24] Me on Christmas... www.livejourna
[12-23] Merry early Christmas, happy new year, whatnot. Nitemare Hippie Girl I'd like comments, eh?
[12-13] "In this life, it's do or die, it's sink or swim...and I've found that this life's worth living and I want to live it with you..."
If only everyone could handle things the right way... if only there was a right way to handle things... if only life was not shit, most days.
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Nog. Cocoa you can have anytime. Nog is special. It's also fun to steal it from my uncle Marcus.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under
the tree? Oh, they're wrapped, and each kid gets a different type of candy-cane themed wrapping paper, so no tags are necessary.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I like colored, but we have a fake tree with built-in white lights. Eew.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Dear lord, no. "Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it." "Well, a kiss can be deadly if you mean it."
5. When do you put your decorations up? As soon as the house is clean enough to. This year we left it pretty late, because we redid our downstairs.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding
dessert)? TOFURKEY! with cranberry sauce!
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Driving through the park in Dubuque with all the moving light figures and such. Then going to Uncle Kevin's house and having hot cocoa in the hot tub. Mmm.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Up until I was about six, Santa hand-wrote us letters. When I compared Santa's handwriting to Dad's, suddenly the next Christmas, the note was typed, and has been ever since.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Rarely.
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for
him? Well, we make so many cookies that he gets some of each, a glass of milk, a bag of oats, and a beer. And we were doing that before the Santa Claus version of "Iron Man".
11. Snow, like it or dread it? It is the best. You can play in it, throw it at people, and go hottub-ing with your cousins and see who can roll in the snow the longest. Muha.
12. Can you ice skate? Er. No.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I'd have to say... how my sister is nice to everyone on the 23rd and 24th in a vain attempt to make up for the rest of the year.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays
for you? Sharing love as much as possible.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Mrs. Ellingson (my neighbour)'s fruit salsa. Mmm.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Why, the party, of course. All sorts of random people show up, we have a good time and lots of food...
17. What tops your tree? A very lacy angel
18. Which do you prefer? Giving or receiving? Certainly giving. But I don't like to buy gifts, I prefer to make them, or give in the form of love. (This both fits with my morals and my budget ^_^)
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Hmm, tough one. I like the Barenaked Ladies version of "Jingle Bells".
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum! Obviously! My family, being Kanes, are obsessed (mildlyish) with candy canes!
-stolen from [Citrine] without permission: gasp!-
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? um.... probably sister
2. What is your weapon of choice? the pen, for 'tis indeed mightier than the sword.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I do so frequently
4.How about of the same sex? oh well, yesh
5.Who was the last person who got really angry at you? [chasingpeace]
6.What is your pet peeve? obese and obtuse people.
7.Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I let them go...actually, most of the time I forget about them.
Sloth
1.What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? er, homework.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 12-ish
3.Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? EVAN!
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? Oh no, have asthma, can't run the mile... man, was 8th grade really that long ago?
5.Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? nosiree.
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? er, alarm clock?!
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Oh Amp, our home and native drink, true patriot love, won't pour you down the sink. With glowing hearts we buy thee up and drink 'til sugar high. Oh Amp, to thee I'll never lie...
2. Meat eaters: Can be cruel, tis true, and not only to what they're eating.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? er, no.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? meh, I could drop a few pounds, but why waste my youth doing that?
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Um, female... have random cravings...
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought "Food!"? EEEEEEEP! What kind of sick question IS that? And no.
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? Dear lord, none... who needs nudity?
2. 2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/fam
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Who's attracted to bodies anyway?
4. Have you "done it"? Erlack, no, despite what is said...
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Eyes. Shoulders and collarbones. Jim has a lovely jawline.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? not that I'm aware of.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? neh, never needed to ^.^
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Moondog Music...
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Some days, I wish for heated toilet seats... but actually, I'd probably buy music, as selfish as that seems.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich so I can still live life in peace.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Depends... how desperate am I for money?
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Not from a store. Do sisters count, when you're stealing your own possessions back?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? zippo.
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Not lost my head to anger
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? School stuff, i dunno.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? change the world for the better
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? erm.... not seriously
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Seventh grade constitution test. We had like a freaking week to memorize the entire constitution. Erk.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I was nice to my sister. and I didn't let the anger build up, I just let it go.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? the computer of someone whose computer functions when asked
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? BRI! Yee gads!
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? probably me. I like me okay... lots more than I like some other people...
4. Have you ever been cheated on? oh aye.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Oh aye.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Nice parents...
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? Er, who is lame enough to decide on questions like these?
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Uh...what the heck kind of question is that?
Written about Tuesday 2005-12-13
Written: (6920 days ago)
All right then. No more talking to them online. I'm through with that. Ball's in their court now. Should they want to make amends... well, they can talk to me. Like people were meant to do.
My Life's Soundtrack
OPENING CREDITS: Eminence Front - the Who
WAKING UP: White Men in Black Suits - Everclear
AVERAGE DAY: Deadbeat Holiday – Green Day
FIRST DATE: 13 Stitches - NOFX
FALLING IN LOVE: All Messed Up – Breaking Point
LOVE SCENE: Closer – Nine Inch Nails
BREAKING UP: Rest Stop – Matchbox Twenty
GETTING BACK TOGETHER: Cecelia – Simon and Garfunkel
SECRET LOVE: Why Don’t You Come Over - Garbage
LIFES OKAY: Got To Get You Into My Life – the Beatles
MENTAL BREAKDOWN: Brain Damage – Pink Floyd
DRIVING: Goin’ Mobile – the Who
LEARNING A LESSON: Education – the Kinks
DEEP THOUGHTS: I’m Thinking – Autopilot Off
FLASHBACK: A Day in the Life - Beatles
PARTYING: Bodies – Drowning Pool
HAPPY DANCE: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
REGRETNG: Forget It - Breaking Benjamin
LONG NIGHT ALONE: Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor
DEATH SCENE: Goodbye Cruel World – Pink Floyd
CLOSING CREDITS: She’s Got It All Worked Out - Semisonic
(stolen with permission from Steppanwolf)
[11-27] Snatches of song... "I wish I had a metal heart..." "So kill me with the love that you won't give to me..." "I don't want to wake up on my own anymore..." "I'll be leaving soon..."
Written about Saturday 2005-11-26
Written: (6937 days ago)
[11-15] Mass confusion. Who the devil am I, anyway? And what the devil do I want?
COLD FEET! erlack.
Ouch! This isn't good.
Ow. Love. Confusion. Ow.
I got a little tired of never being called
Yeah I got a little sick of always being stalled
And that is why I said that "we should just be friends.
Go on, baby, get on home; this is where it ends".
And to tell you the truth, I got tired of the lies,
And never knowing what to do to get us to survive
Thanks for finally getting me to open up my eyes
I don't think you're worth it and that's really no surprise.
You said I broke your heart, and maybe that was true
How come, though, you never ever told me, "I love you"?
It was shit like that which made me call and tell you we were through
Seems to me that was the practical thing to do
And to tell you the truth, I got tired of the lies,
And never knowing what to do to get us to survive
Thanks for finally getting me to open up my eyes
I don't think you're worth it and that's really no surprise.
Now a year has gone and you've written me to say
That you miss me? need me? kiss me? thought of me today
You've met my new boyfriend, now you realise it's true
That I never ever would have run away with you
And to tell you the truth, it's really no surprise
There never really was a way to get us to survive
Now today I'm really glad I opened up my eyes
I couldn't make you worth it and that's really no surprise.
"Heal my heart and drown my woe." - Billy Boyd
I love him so much that I cried last night.
Crazy.
Now I think about it, I've never cried for any male-related reason before. EVER. Not even when Bush got re-elected.
"Oh, I gotta see you..." - Jimi Hendrix
[10-22] Mmmmkay, updated blogs below... Hawks won, yay; Hawkeyes lost, boo/hiss. I'm tired. Huzzah. Finished "The Stand" by Stephen King... good book.
[NEW SONG!!!!! YAY!!!!!] at http://green-d
[10-20] Had a lovely conversation with Justin today.... heehee, he's a funny kid... Chem and Spanish tests tomorrow... eew...blogs haven't been updated... well maybe they have... you expect me to remember? I love you Jim!
Random diary entry. I felt like I was neglecting it. *brushes cobwebs from corners* I'm working on a new story, working title "Karas" involving...we
[8-12-05] "You knows I loves you..." Party at Derek's tonight. I need a ride home! *pout* I miss Canada as well. Parade tomorrow in Ryan.. erlack. I'm in Dubuque at the moment, so I'm-a go be socialish. Bya!
STRUDEL WILL WIN! Buwahahahaha..
Mmmkay. Since I'm a slut, allegedly, I think I can tell all in safety now. Girls, your "friend" Hannah is a lesbian, so proved with the assistance of two of her friends of varying genders. Thank you very much. The test I ran proved negative on the guy and positive on the girl; being that intimate and "slutty" with a guy proved to not arouse me in the slightest. Thank you guys for your unwavering support of my sexuality. And I was so happy from camp, I had new friends I wanted to show you. I hope you can see it from my end of the tunnel and I can still make you guess how old Evan is.
Chelsea, if you read this: I really wish you wouldn't have used my name on the internet, or you'd talked to me on the phone. Without the help of your blog, I wouldn't have known who Carrie was talking about. But, FYI, I have my period right now and I have yet to lose my virginity and never intend to lose it to a male, so I don't know how I got pregnant. Maybe an incubus? Right.
7-20-05] I've figured out who Pink in The Wall reminds me of... Dan/[Disconnection]! I've posted some of my blog addresses below...
OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO MOLLY'S TOMORROW AND THEN TO CANADA FOR BAND CAMP! *dies*
What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?
I love Pink Floyd... *death*