[6-15-06] -- Woke up today at 8, again to my phone alarm going off. Ali and Lauren and I went into town with Lauren's friend (Katie?) for brekky, where we had crepes... mm. Then we drove home and have been photo editing etc. ever since. We ate lunch, though, salad and tasty tofu crutons (home made!) and pesto pizza. Because we rock.
ENGLAND WON

[6-14-06] -- So today so far has been awemazing. [Citrine] and I woke up to my phone alarm going off at 6:30 a.m. From there we proceeded to order a dozen yellow helium-filled balloons. We bought them, and four cream cheese muffins, and little containers of organic milk, and two black Sharpie markers. (Speaking of the organic milk, the checkout lady thought the milk containers were cute..."just like you girls". So apparently we're as cute as milk. Go us.)

Anyway... soon, the balloons were covered in inspiring phrases. "Don't panic, it's only life!" "Emancipate yourself - free your mind!" "Reality is the only obstacle to happiness." "Reality is merely an illusion.. albeit a very persistent one" "Reality leaves a lot to the imagination" "Sadness is a state of mind" "Who do you want to be today?" etc. etc. Because we're amazing, that's why. Then they got tied in various places about town. Brilliant, eh?


Then came the trip to Peoria Heights. First we went into the Global Village shop, where pins (my slight obsession) and a bar of soap were bought. Then we gamboled and frolicked about and nearly bought a "seduction" scented candle... but then thought that might look weird. We ended up getting veggie food at the Spotted Cow, doing a 50-point turn to get out of the mini parking lot we were in, then going home, where we painted my face and took artsy pictures.


And that's only so far...

The day finished out with Trannie Night, 'twas lovely.

[6-13-06] -- People rock. Did you know that? Queen. Hollands' ice cream etc. I love vacation. Even if it does mean weeding in the presence of HUGE spiders. I'm talking

[6-12-06] -- All right.. I'm at [Citrine]'s house for the next week-ish, so I doubt updates will be as frequent. Just remember I love all of you, and if you're [Draymond]... tell Bri hi, and tell Thomas not to do anything I wouldn't do. (There, is that in any way offensive?)

[6-10-06] -- Had movie night with Danielle last night. We watched "An American Werewolf in Paris" because it was on TV...then "Memoirs of a Geisha", which I thought was a beautiful movie, then Rocky Horror, with me randomly singing along/shouting things like "what the fuck's a triffid?!" at the screen. Then we popped in "Airplane!", which we fell asleep during. Upon completing breakfast this morning, we watched "Quest for Camelot", which was entertaining :D. After we took Danielle home, I showered, packed for next week's trip to [Citrine]'s house, started writing my latest projectoid, did some dishes.. and I'm working tonight from 7:30 until 9, babysitting. Should be fun, eh?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[6-9-06] -- Woke up at twenty to ten. Ate cereal for breakfast, showered with Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" album playing as loudly as I could make it play. Then I did some cleaning, some baking, listening to Pippin, and buying ice cream/bringing ice cream to Adam. Poor dear got his wisdom teeth out and can barely talk; this is a major factor for him. So his mum and Alexa and I ended up making most of the conversation, and eventually we ended up discussing assorted feminine, er, issues... poor thing looked a little mortified, but that's what he gets for having discussions about the intricacies of male anatomy in precalc where I can hear. Later Danielle's coming over for movies.. the poor dearling has never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tsk, tsk, tut, etc. So I've got brownies cooling, cookie bars in the oven... AND I'M GOING TO ALI'S IN LIKE A DAY! ...pack?

Day 3 of summer. Day 3 of consecutive suckiness of life. Oh well. Today I had my first summer dance class, which was really fun, because we're focusing on modern dance and acting with dance, facial expression and such. Plus, our class consists of Denise and Miranda teaching Cassi and myself... it was odd, because I was walking up to the Rec Centre when Cassi's van pulled up beside me. (Now, she wasn't driving, her mum was... she's my brother's age. Cassi, not Tina.) Anyway, I'd just been listening to Rocky Horror Picture Show... and when I entered the van, what were THEY listening to?! You guessed! Rocky! 'Twas bizarre... then Cassi and I were discussing how Aladdin is definitely the sexiest animated character ever... Miranda found that so funny she almost had to sit down. Anyhow, I borrowed the Pippin soundtrack from Denise... Ooh, I love Pippin, love Pippin so much! That's what the description under the strange orange-yellow picture is from... "Corner of the Sky". Yurm.

Handing in concert band music. My being section leader officially announced... and Dan consequently trying to kill me because he wanted the post. Not having all my precalc done... guess what I did after school? First meeting of the new program called Advisor/Advisee with the unfortunate abbreviateton of AA. My advisor is someone I met for the first time today, and his purpose is to basically perform all the functions the guidance office would perform if they were doing their jobs. Hence, we had shortened periods and shortened passing time... and, naturally, it was downpouring when I had to walk outside through the gravel parking lot across campus to the portable classrooms. Upon entering second period rather damp, I heard the announcement: due to people claiming dizziness blamed on heat at the middle school, classes would finish at 12:30, after third block... ergo, no fourth-block classes would be held. Craziness. So tonight I'm going to Adam's to experience DDR for the first time. Wish me luck!

["And as our lives change..."]
I look at so many of the people I used to be close to, and I don't know them anymore. I start to wonder if I ever did. I mean, it's pretty obvious they don't know me.

[*NEW*] Memorial day service was good today. Hot, but good, because we had spray bottles for coolness ^_^. It was kind of freaky, though... I mean, the General or Commander or whoever the smeg he was... all, "The terrorists are here among us..." I turned to Tyler and said, "Red Scare?" Then he laughed and sprayed me in the face, and I sprayed him in the ear... but it's true.

[Here, have this... it's my old MySpace profile.]

Well, what is there to say about me? I love life... most days. I hate life... some days. Some days are better than others, as you can tell. I have a link to tell you more if you're interested... I'm the same age as the Evil Dead! YES! I'm a vegetarian... Um...I'm very open-minded. 

Yes, I'm a bisexual. And that's not because I haven't made up my mind or I can't decide or anything. That's who I am. And it's harder than you'd think, because gay people don't get you and straight people don't get you.. well, that's a generalization. But seriously - please be nice about this, especially since I've never done anything to you. 

I love very freely and I'm very emotional. Just so you know.
www.freewebs.com/sebhar/aboutme.htm

SUMMARY OF THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH: I'll be nice to you if you're nice to me, and if you're not nice to me I'll ignore you. Simple enough.
I like nice people. If you're pleasant and polite, or even if you're not and just act like it, that's great. If you're rude, conceited, a complete bitch or a general jackass, privately or publicly... then, well, don't talk to me. I most enjoy people who share at least some interests with me, though I don't know why you'd contact me if you didn't... if you're a band, well, I love rock'n'roll. Browse through the band list or whatever...and if you're a phony, all I can reccommend is that you don't let on, because otherwise I will most likely hate you. I know a couple of "cases-in-points", but... I don't like to think about them. And a little bit more.. yes, I'm bi. But no, I won't do a three-way with you. No. I blatantly refuse. And it may say that I'm single, but I'm commited to someone even if he's not really commited to me. I love him, you see. Life is dreadful, sometimes.

Interests:
Music
Movies
Music
Literature
Music
Buddhism
Music
Strudel
Music
Photography
Music
Poetry
Music
Water
Music
Canada
Music
Biking
Music
Swimming
Music
Europe
Music
Freeing Tibet
Music
Rocking out in the car to good music with good friends while stopped at a stoplight
...music?

Aah... Guerolito.

Aah... Foiled.

Aah... Whatever They Say I Am, That's What I'm Not.

Aah... wait, have you caught onto the pattern yet?

[4-24-06]
[*] New diary!
[*] Happy birthday to Aaron, Wm. Shakespeare, etc. tomorrow....

[4-17-06]
[*] Happy birthday to ME! Er.... tomorrow.
[*] New blog entries, complete with updated list!
[*] Ew, school tomorrow.
[*] RENT!
[*] Second draft of memoir due Wednesday. Thou shouldst poke www.freewebs.com/sebharscreativewriting/memoir.htm if you're interested.
[*] New diary.
[*] New song of the week, eh wot?

[4-12-06]
[*] Happy birthday to Dan Petersen's father.
[*] New blog entries, complete with updated list!
[*] No school tomorrow. Five-day weekends rock.
[*] I got second chair. Go me.
[*] Fuck-a-monk, I'm supposed to be typing my rough draft of my memoir. www.freewebs.com/sebharscreativewriting/memoir.htm should get you there if you're interested.
[*] New diary.
[*] New song of the week, eh wot?

[3-26-06]
[*] Sitting in the Schindler Education Center on the campus of the University of Northern Iowa in a room known as 145a. Alone.
[*] New song of the week.
[*] New diary.

[3-24-06]
[*] Fights and friends who have to work. Desiring one of your closest yet not-single friends. Being asked to prom as a back-up date. Finding true meaning only in music and writing. Welcome to my high-intensity life.
[*] There is no way that my solo will sound good tomorrow. Physically un-possible, and then I'm going to have to email Darrin and tell him that I got a V for sounding like a toad.
[*] Last day of third term. No more astronomy... don't know whether to be sad or happy as I have creative writing come Monday and Sir Seffers remains in my class for amusement. Also he's going to be in my first-hour precalc as well.

"That's about the most freaking awesome email I've ever gotten! I love you!" She drew back, not allowing herself the sheer unparalleled joy of Gareth's embrace. She knew he meant it in a friendly manner, nothing more, but she denied herself full enjoyment of his presence as long as there was no "them" in the forseeable future. 

[1] I'm writing a new song. We'll see how it goes "...going mobile, keep me moving..." Sorry that's a Who song, but still, I'm working on a new one.
[2] The Story Changes. Go. Find them. Now.
[3] "...I'm in love, but I'm lazy, so won't you please come home?"


[Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life

Such a lonely day
And its mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived]

[2-14-06]
[*]Valentine's Day. I'm the Valentine's Day Scrooge.
[*] Okay, I know my poll is confusing, but if you'll just pretend it makes sense and answer it, I'll give you a clam. I promise.
[1-21-06] HUZZAH! Our Reader's Theatre production of Ray Bradbury's "The Veldt" recieved a division I, we're going to state!

Okay, so, Wartburg Meistersinger honour band was pretty awesome. I got there late because of state Speech - our Readers' Theater group got straight I's, we were pretty happy. That also means we're being considered for AllState. But anyway, honour band. I met a bunch of freaking awesome people, Jacob and Henkel (that's his last name), and Dan was there, and I got to know Lalaina, and I met Mike (or it might have been Mark)and Nate. I think I've finally figured out the game of poker, or at least most of it. Also, I "played" a game of NCAA football on PS2 that resulted in me getting so many delay-of-game penalties that before I figured out how to hike the ball, they'd driven me into the endzone and gotten a safety. Go figure. I stayed up until quarter to three with "the guys" - Dan Peterson, Tyler Rasmussen, Verdeen, Adam Limke...er...Limkemann?, Adam's host Mike, John Robbins, John's roommate Nate, and Phil Wulfekhule or however you spell that, along with Holly Evarts. There is now a picture out there somewhere of me standing in front of a fountain with my back to the camera... it kind of looks like I'm taking a leak in the fountain. Dan Lamp was there, and he burned me Closer to God by NIN - that's the one with the nine different versions of Closer on it, because he found out that I didn't even have one anywhere in any form of recording. So I was sitting in the rec room today while it was Phil and Adam vs. Dan and Nate playing cutthroat pool, and Adam asked me what I was listening to. I told him, and immediately all the college guys in the room broke into the chorus and Tyler's ears turned red. Life was good. As far as food went, we ordered pizza Saturday night and ate breakfast/lunch at Subway, at least, Phil and I did. The guy behind the counter asked if our orders were together. Phil thought this meant that he thought we were going out. I pointed out that he probably thought I might be buying for my little brother, especially considering that the giant sandwich on the counter was bigger than Phil. Can't Hardly Wait was on TV, and I love that movie... especially all the geeky guys :D And Tyler and I did the puzzles in the Sunday paper, and so on and suchlike. Also, the Wartburg jazz band, the Knightlighters, completely rocked my face off. The drummer was amazing, and the bass player... Adam made fun of me all night because I had my hands over my mouth and my eyes wide and a flush on my face. I may have fallen in love with him... wink wink. Adam is now one of my favourite people to hang out with.... we took "jaw" pictures, where you let your jaw go loose and shake your head and take a still digital picture. Hours of entertainment. 

Nevertheless, despite the wonderful time I had, I left feeling a little heartsick. There was a guy I saw there that I fell drastically in love with all over again, and I'm bitterly reminded every time I hear a certain song now that we will likely never be. Especially since I tell him that I love him all the time, and he never seems to take me seriously. But I do. Oh by the gods, I do. 

Br, I'm really confused. Because I really like him. BUT if I go to his house and watch movies sometime like he invited me to do, I have to wonder if me getting to spend some time with a guy who really isn't interested in me THAT WAY (I don't think...), a guy I'm just friends with... is that worth his reputation? I mean, it's not like I have to worry about mine anymore, but will it hurt him if I go over there and eat popcorn and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show? (He's never seen it - crime!)

I hate life's little dilemmas.