...wowza.

So I'm just sitting here, with nothing but his words and his picture to keep me company, and I'm really really...

...sad.

I mean, guys don't do this to me. I'm emotionally removed from any and all romantic situations, just kind of hovering above and keeping myself in check. I'm not this dithering pile of jelly.

...am I?

I need... I need... well, some indication of how he feels. Just a note: If you've picked up on the fact that someone is attracted to you, give them a straight-up "this is how I feel about you" reply to their feelings.

Especially if they're female.

And it's that time of the month.

[7-4-06]

[Happy Dependence on Foreign Countries Day, America!]
...F*** I hate this holiday.
[*] Sebhar's Cave Poke about!
[*] "Gather your wits and hold on fast..."

[6-30-06]
[*] Seb's Nicknames. All I'm gonna say on that topic.
[*] GOING TO WISCONSIN TOMORROW! Leaving at 7:30 a.m. sounds fun... maybe I should pack... O.o
[*] I got a job! I am now officially a telemarketer at Greene's. Training is going to make me miss play practice next week... phooey.
[*] Huzzahs in the music department to APC and the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack... and a quadruple huzzah to [Citrine] for burning them for me. Which reminds me, remind me to take a picture for you, deary.

[6-22-06] -- Take that, o Tormentor of Nicknames! Yes, friends and neighbours, I am once again defeating [Draymond] in the nicknames contest. Poke Seb's Nicknames for a complete list. It's rather entertaining!

Woke up at 6 this morning, fixed my hair, washed my face, dressed... Adam showed up around 6:45 and we went to band, which was amusing as usual since NO ONE can play coherently at the crack of dawn, NO ONE. Trombones had a sectional for afters, in which I mainly counted off the beginnings of songs and whatnot. I love our freshmen! They're adorable! ... anyway. I came home, ate breakfast, woke up my brother, and proceeded to, proverbially, kick Nic's arse.

Also, go see [Draymond]'s new picture. I think he needs a swanky car to drive about in, don't you? (By the way, if you read this, Nic, don't expect to get one from me. I'm flat broke.)

As for my poll...If you take it, please message me saying you've taken it so I don't pester you about it later. Dig? Gracias, te amo!

[6-21-06] -- Damn! I have to get to sleep! I need to "primp", as Ali so lovelyly put it! Hello, 5:30 a.m.! *groan*

[6-19-06] -- New Seb's Song of the Week.

"I'm just sitting here, trying to find myself. I get behind myself; I need to rewind myself."


I finished Stephen King's the Gunslinger this morning while listening to David Bowie's album 'Space Oddity'. Winning combination, no?


At the moment, my poor novel is calling me, saying, "Seb! Why haven't you written me in a week?" It doesn't understand the concept of vacation, and I have a political uprising to plot. Ta!


[NEW! UPDATE!] I've got a new poll up. If you take it, please message me saying you've taken it so I don't pester you about it later. Dig? Gracias, te amo!

[6-18-06] -- You would love the song "Cygnet Committee" by David Bowie, were you anything like me.

Yay for rebuilding(ish) of severed friendships! Perhaps high school may no longer suck!


Don't let me forget I have band on Tuesday and Thursday, not to mention Children of Eden rehearsal on those days and Monday.


Today, I hung out with my Dad, due to its being Fathers' Day. This included driving. Which was scaryish. For me. I also napped a lot. And shaved my legs, so I enjoy walking about in my jeans.


I love The Princess Bride. Just so you know.

[6-16-06] -- [Citrine] spent the night at my house last night for a change... we watched Almost Famous, her first time. I adore that movie. Then we went upstairs and talked for a bit before falling asleep to the lovely sounds of the Decemberists.

This morning, we met the foreign exchange student, Penelope, who is from France. She seemed very nice, and also seemed to speak English very well. Plus, she has amazing taste in clothing. Then we drove to Iowa City, ate at Masala, the vegetarian Indian place, for lunch, poked around the Ped Mall, and hit up the Art Museum before bidding one another farewell and going our separate ways.


Tonight there's a party at Molly's.... or something. Should be fun. Speaking of which, she hasn't called me back... ta!

[6-15-06] -- Woke up today at 8, again to my phone alarm going off. Ali and Lauren and I went into town with Lauren's friend (Katie?) for brekky, where we had crepes... mm. Then we drove home and have been photo editing etc. ever since. We ate lunch, though, salad and tasty tofu crutons (home made!) and pesto pizza. Because we rock.
ENGLAND WON

[6-14-06] -- So today so far has been awemazing. [Citrine] and I woke up to my phone alarm going off at 6:30 a.m. From there we proceeded to order a dozen yellow helium-filled balloons. We bought them, and four cream cheese muffins, and little containers of organic milk, and two black Sharpie markers. (Speaking of the organic milk, the checkout lady thought the milk containers were cute..."just like you girls". So apparently we're as cute as milk. Go us.)

Anyway... soon, the balloons were covered in inspiring phrases. "Don't panic, it's only life!" "Emancipate yourself - free your mind!" "Reality is the only obstacle to happiness." "Reality is merely an illusion.. albeit a very persistent one" "Reality leaves a lot to the imagination" "Sadness is a state of mind" "Who do you want to be today?" etc. etc. Because we're amazing, that's why. Then they got tied in various places about town. Brilliant, eh?


Then came the trip to Peoria Heights. First we went into the Global Village shop, where pins (my slight obsession) and a bar of soap were bought. Then we gamboled and frolicked about and nearly bought a "seduction" scented candle... but then thought that might look weird. We ended up getting veggie food at the Spotted Cow, doing a 50-point turn to get out of the mini parking lot we were in, then going home, where we painted my face and took artsy pictures.


And that's only so far...

The day finished out with Trannie Night, 'twas lovely.

[6-13-06] -- People rock. Did you know that? Queen. Hollands' ice cream etc. I love vacation. Even if it does mean weeding in the presence of HUGE spiders. I'm talking

[6-12-06] -- All right.. I'm at [Citrine]'s house for the next week-ish, so I doubt updates will be as frequent. Just remember I love all of you, and if you're [Draymond]... tell Bri hi, and tell Thomas not to do anything I wouldn't do. (There, is that in any way offensive?)

[6-10-06] -- Had movie night with Danielle last night. We watched "An American Werewolf in Paris" because it was on TV...then "Memoirs of a Geisha", which I thought was a beautiful movie, then Rocky Horror, with me randomly singing along/shouting things like "what the fuck's a triffid?!" at the screen. Then we popped in "Airplane!", which we fell asleep during. Upon completing breakfast this morning, we watched "Quest for Camelot", which was entertaining :D. After we took Danielle home, I showered, packed for next week's trip to [Citrine]'s house, started writing my latest projectoid, did some dishes.. and I'm working tonight from 7:30 until 9, babysitting. Should be fun, eh?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[6-9-06] -- Woke up at twenty to ten. Ate cereal for breakfast, showered with Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" album playing as loudly as I could make it play. Then I did some cleaning, some baking, listening to Pippin, and buying ice cream/bringing ice cream to Adam. Poor dear got his wisdom teeth out and can barely talk; this is a major factor for him. So his mum and Alexa and I ended up making most of the conversation, and eventually we ended up discussing assorted feminine, er, issues... poor thing looked a little mortified, but that's what he gets for having discussions about the intricacies of male anatomy in precalc where I can hear. Later Danielle's coming over for movies.. the poor dearling has never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tsk, tsk, tut, etc. So I've got brownies cooling, cookie bars in the oven... AND I'M GOING TO ALI'S IN LIKE A DAY! ...pack?

Day 3 of summer. Day 3 of consecutive suckiness of life. Oh well. Today I had my first summer dance class, which was really fun, because we're focusing on modern dance and acting with dance, facial expression and such. Plus, our class consists of Denise and Miranda teaching Cassi and myself... it was odd, because I was walking up to the Rec Centre when Cassi's van pulled up beside me. (Now, she wasn't driving, her mum was... she's my brother's age. Cassi, not Tina.) Anyway, I'd just been listening to Rocky Horror Picture Show... and when I entered the van, what were THEY listening to?! You guessed! Rocky! 'Twas bizarre... then Cassi and I were discussing how Aladdin is definitely the sexiest animated character ever... Miranda found that so funny she almost had to sit down. Anyhow, I borrowed the Pippin soundtrack from Denise... Ooh, I love Pippin, love Pippin so much! That's what the description under the strange orange-yellow picture is from... "Corner of the Sky". Yurm.

Handing in concert band music. My being section leader officially announced... and Dan consequently trying to kill me because he wanted the post. Not having all my precalc done... guess what I did after school? First meeting of the new program called Advisor/Advisee with the unfortunate abbreviateton of AA. My advisor is someone I met for the first time today, and his purpose is to basically perform all the functions the guidance office would perform if they were doing their jobs. Hence, we had shortened periods and shortened passing time... and, naturally, it was downpouring when I had to walk outside through the gravel parking lot across campus to the portable classrooms. Upon entering second period rather damp, I heard the announcement: due to people claiming dizziness blamed on heat at the middle school, classes would finish at 12:30, after third block... ergo, no fourth-block classes would be held. Craziness. So tonight I'm going to Adam's to experience DDR for the first time. Wish me luck!

["And as our lives change..."]
I look at so many of the people I used to be close to, and I don't know them anymore. I start to wonder if I ever did. I mean, it's pretty obvious they don't know me.

[*NEW*] Memorial day service was good today. Hot, but good, because we had spray bottles for coolness ^_^. It was kind of freaky, though... I mean, the General or Commander or whoever the smeg he was... all, "The terrorists are here among us..." I turned to Tyler and said, "Red Scare?" Then he laughed and sprayed me in the face, and I sprayed him in the ear... but it's true.

[Here, have this... it's my old MySpace profile.]

Well, what is there to say about me? I love life... most days. I hate life... some days. Some days are better than others, as you can tell. I have a link to tell you more if you're interested... I'm the same age as the Evil Dead! YES! I'm a vegetarian... Um...I'm very open-minded. 

Yes, I'm a bisexual. And that's not because I haven't made up my mind or I can't decide or anything. That's who I am. And it's harder than you'd think, because gay people don't get you and straight people don't get you.. well, that's a generalization. But seriously - please be nice about this, especially since I've never done anything to you. 

I love very freely and I'm very emotional. Just so you know.
www.freewebs.com/sebhar/aboutme.htm

SUMMARY OF THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH: I'll be nice to you if you're nice to me, and if you're not nice to me I'll ignore you. Simple enough.
I like nice people. If you're pleasant and polite, or even if you're not and just act like it, that's great. If you're rude, conceited, a complete bitch or a general jackass, privately or publicly... then, well, don't talk to me. I most enjoy people who share at least some interests with me, though I don't know why you'd contact me if you didn't... if you're a band, well, I love rock'n'roll. Browse through the band list or whatever...and if you're a phony, all I can reccommend is that you don't let on, because otherwise I will most likely hate you. I know a couple of "cases-in-points", but... I don't like to think about them. And a little bit more.. yes, I'm bi. But no, I won't do a three-way with you. No. I blatantly refuse. And it may say that I'm single, but I'm commited to someone even if he's not really commited to me. I love him, you see. Life is dreadful, sometimes.

Interests:
Music
Movies
Music
Literature
Music
Buddhism
Music
Strudel
Music
Photography
Music
Poetry
Music
Water
Music
Canada
Music
Biking
Music
Swimming
Music
Europe
Music
Freeing Tibet
Music
Rocking out in the car to good music with good friends while stopped at a stoplight
...music?

Aah... Guerolito.

Aah... Foiled.

Aah... Whatever They Say I Am, That's What I'm Not.

Aah... wait, have you caught onto the pattern yet?

[4-24-06]
[*] New diary!
[*] Happy birthday to Aaron, Wm. Shakespeare, etc. tomorrow....

[4-17-06]
[*] Happy birthday to ME! Er.... tomorrow.
[*] New blog entries, complete with updated list!
[*] Ew, school tomorrow.
[*] RENT!
[*] Second draft of memoir due Wednesday. Thou shouldst poke www.freewebs.com/sebharscreativewriting/memoir.htm if you're interested.
[*] New diary.
[*] New song of the week, eh wot?