[Moon*Break]'s diary

371819  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (7165 days ago)

Let me be loved
let me be held
Only By you
Your all I see
You have never left me

Everyone has thought you left
Cause I tell them you have
But:
Your on my desk.
Im on your bed
Hand cuffs chained to the bed
Laughter fills my head
sighs and moans
Louder you groan
I smile at your smirk

and Im back in my room alone
staring at my desk
thinking of our best..
Tears slide down my cheeks
Your touch I will forever seek

370886  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-04
Written: (7166 days ago)

Rattle your hips and open your eyes
for I only speak in riddles and lies
You want the truth, Here I shall be
I dont care about you, You see?

The things you want and how you feel.
All and All, cant be real..
I am what you dont see
And I am what you want to be...
Honest and True
You think, Therefore you Lose

Assume I speak in riddles
Assume I speak in lies
Think whatever
For I wont cry

365179  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-09-28
Written: (7171 days ago)

Just randomly notice most of my friends on here are guys..
Most friends in real life are girls..
Randomness.. HA!

363877  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-09-27
Written: (7173 days ago)

Im crying and shaking
Im wishing and taking
all your emotions
and living them
Screaming
Crying
Filling my eyes with tears
that you gave to me

I need to get away
Leave here
I wish not to stay
Take me with you...

363764  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-09-27
Written: (7173 days ago)

Fuck you all
For I dont Give a Fuck
Doesnt care at all
Just like my luck

All who Love me
I push away
All I want
wishes me not to stay

So I give up on you
I give up on everything I wish to do
...to you

362682  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-09-26
Written: (7174 days ago)

I guess
I'd better to forget
We've never even met
yet, i feel something for you
Why Must I feel how i do?

So Goodbye to our talks
are never existing walks
Goodbye to my thoughts

361717  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-24
Written: (7175 days ago)

Melt like fire
Freeze with desire
I want you more than I can tell
Needless to say
flames burning in hell

354083  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-17
Written: (7182 days ago)

Im Kind of sweet like a flower
But Inside
I am a coward
A prick of a needle
and I will Bleed
you will hear
my suffering needs

(cant find the paper I wrote it on, theres more to come)

353568  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-16
Written: (7183 days ago)

Fuck Me
Fuck You
Fuck Your Lies
They Arnt True

The Things You Told Me
Once Before
I Learned Wernt True
But I Also Learned
That I dont Need You

I May Think About You
Time and Time Again
But Never Again Will I
Want to be with you

So Fuck All Your Games
Fuck What You Said
Fuck Everything About You
No Longer will I Remember
Your Sweet Comfy Bed

(still in the making)

352187  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-15
Written: (7185 days ago)

Can I Dream?!
Can I Fly?!
Can You Hold me Tight
And Never Let Go!
Oh please dont go...
...Away.
Because I need you here
Just to be Held
Dont Say A word
It would ruin it all
Just so I can let
the tears fall...
...Away..
Take No Offence
Its Not You
Its Me
You & Me
Just Cant Be
But Please Hold Me
My Vision is Lost
Only But a Blur
I dont need to see
What will occur

346362  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-09
Written: (7191 days ago)

...Boredom awaits if I lower myself to thinking thoughts of the mindless lost souls that plague the earth like a disease..

No Matter what happens the fear of my mind haunts forever in the useless pool of memory. The cravings for support and freedom eat through me and swallows me whole. Theres no use trying to escape it. Time carries through like it will never end. For every person who dies, another person will live. And for every person who lives, another wishes not to. And While another wishes not to, Another Dies. THe Never Ending cycle of time. And all throughout the cycle, Time spreads. But never ends, For every Minute, a second passes by.
No One will ever wait, learn or understand why. It just is. We All who walk the earth must learn to deal with it. If not to deal, Then to forget it ever existed.

--Moon*Break, AKA- Jessica

339139  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-01
Written: (7199 days ago)

Look in the fire
Tell me what you see
because I see the dark
and I feel the cold
No longer will do as told

I'll freeze the flame
with just one breath
I'll break your heart
with just one glance

Cause thats all you'll get from me
Doesnt matter what you feel
Nor what you see.
Because all of you
means nothing to me

336877  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-08-30
Written: (7201 days ago)

Lost in the Darkness
Cant see a thing
Blinded by its Night
Grope for the Light
Stumble, Crawl and Stand
Desperate to feel the land
All Hope escapes me as you turn and walk away
Knowing, understanding That you'll no longer stay.

336872  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-08-30
Written: (7201 days ago)

Fantasy land
Understand
This is me
Dont Bother
to even see
Because I drift into another zone
Release my senses
No energy to hone
I will fall from the sky
I wont try to spot your lies
Because I have No worries or doubts
Nothing to care about
Not what you say
Not what you Do
Not even a memory.
Who Are you?

336865  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-08-30
Written: (7201 days ago)

Sitting Here
Im my Chair
Mind Wandering everywhere
Dont know whats on your mind
Lost translation is all I find
Your Words haunt my Dreams
Im Stuck
Destined to Freeze.

335602  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-08-29
Written: (7201 days ago)

I stare out the window
All there is is cold
The snow
The tears
Broken down
Held by Fears
Frozen
Indepth
My Heart
Un-met

335592  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-08-29
Written: (7201 days ago)

Melt Like Fire..
Laced With Hidden Desire.
Beating Like The Sun
Showing what's Begun

333480  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-08-27
Written: (7204 days ago)

JimmyFetus: Hi
Eclipsely Pixie: Hi
Eclipsely Pixie: what up?
JimmyFetus: Pretty damn good.
JimmyFetus: How's by you?
Eclipsely Pixie: pretty damn crappy
JimmyFetus: Awe. How's that?
Eclipsely Pixie: I have been dizy all day. and everyone is either pissing me off or making me feel like crap
JimmyFetus: Eh... I've done either of those this quickly?
JimmyFetus: I'm sorry...
Eclipsely Pixie: no not you
JimmyFetus: Well, I'm part of everyone. Sorry... x_x 
Eclipsely Pixie: You havent made me pissed or upset
JimmyFetus: I'm lethargic.
JimmyFetus: I hope I don't.
Eclipsely Pixie: I was meaning everyone around me like in person
JimmyFetus: Oh. Well why are they pissing ou off?
JimmyFetus: *you
Eclipsely Pixie: I dont know
Eclipsely Pixie: cause they can
Eclipsely Pixie: dunno if they are emaning to
Eclipsely Pixie: *meaning
JimmyFetus: Awe, well..
JimmyFetus: .Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Eclipsely Pixie: Hope so
Eclipsely Pixie: I thinkI have a date but I really dont want to go on it
JimmyFetus: Then don't. 
JimmyFetus: Stay home and relax.
Eclipsely Pixie: I already said I would
JimmyFetus: You still can not go.
JimmyFetus: Just explain it to them. If they really like you enough to go on a date, they should understand.
Eclipsely Pixie: Yea I guess
Eclipsely Pixie: Maybe Tommorrow I will decide I want to...but tonight, I just want to sleep mylife away
JimmyFetus: I mean, why make yourself be in a situation that you don't want to be in?
JimmyFetus: Yeah...
JimmyFetus: I've been there.
Eclipsely Pixie: so U know how I feel'
JimmyFetus: Yeah.
JimmyFetus: Wanting to sleep away life.
Eclipsely Pixie: yea
JimmyFetus: Instead of deailng with idiots and jerks.
Eclipsely Pixie: Blah..THats my life right now
Eclipsely Pixie: yea. I have 10 guys wanting to get with me
JimmyFetus: Woah...
JimmyFetus: 'Cause your'e such a sexy beast.
Eclipsely Pixie: and Most of them are telling me Im Beautiful
Eclipsely Pixie: and All THe while I m thinking"damn your such a fucking liar"
JimmyFetus: That's never good to think...
JimmyFetus: You're beautiful.
JimmyFetus: Eh.
Eclipsely Pixie: Eh?
JimmyFetus: Of course, being an artist, I see beauty in most things.
JimmyFetus: So my opinion is clouded.
JimmyFetus: What really matters, though, is what you think of yourself.
Eclipsely Pixie: Well, I dont thinkIm beautiful at all. I dont thinkIm incredibly ugly but I dont thinkIm Beautiful
JimmyFetus: That's good. 
JimmyFetus: Humble but not self-degrading.
Eclipsely Pixie: all the while all the guys are teling me I am
JimmyFetus: Well, just accept what they think and not worry about it.
Eclipsely Pixie: its so frusterating
JimmyFetus: People are entitled to their opinions without being considered liars.
Eclipsely Pixie: I knwo
JimmyFetus: Maybe they are lying just to get somewhere with you, maybe not.
Eclipsely Pixie: But I jsut dont really know what to say
JimmyFetus: But it's kind of wrong to think they are right off.
JimmyFetus: Thank them.
Eclipsely Pixie: and i dont thinkI can handle being with someone
Eclipsely Pixie: Im still broken
Eclipsely Pixie: and it hurts
JimmyFetus: Then let them know.
JimmyFetus: Ask them to step off for a bit.
JimmyFetus: You'll still be there.
JimmyFetus: They will too.
JimmyFetus: Not like you'll all die before they can date with you.
Eclipsely Pixie: Yea..
Eclipsely Pixie: thanks for listening to me jabber
JimmyFetus: No problem.
JimmyFetus: I like listening to friends.
JimmyFetus: I put people through having to listen to me, why not return the favor?
Eclipsely Pixie: so you consider me your friend?
JimmyFetus: Oh yeah.
Eclipsely Pixie: thank you
JimmyFetus: You're more of a friend than I have in physical form.
Eclipsely Pixie: I am?
JimmyFetus: Bah. Sadly yes.
Eclipsely Pixie: Hoaw so?

JimmyFetus: My life is breaking down.
Eclipsely Pixie: I mean...Why? Why am im more than a friend than the ones in real life. ANd why is your like Breaking DOwn?
JimmyFetus: You're more of a friend because I actually talk to you. You're nice to me, you don't hate me, and I think you're a good person. 
JimmyFetus: My life is breaking down..
JimmyFetus: I do'nt know why.
JimmyFetus: It just is.
JimmyFetus: Everything's....sinking.
JimmyFetus: Like I'm in quicksand.
JimmyFetus: It's just...sort of slow quicksand.
Eclipsely Pixie: I Feel You
Eclipsely Pixie: I understand
JimmyFetus: Thanks.
Eclipsely Pixie: Technically i feel like giving up. Going to bed and pulling up the covers
Eclipsely Pixie: and never returning to the workd
JimmyFetus: Yeah. I felt like that all summer.
Eclipsely Pixie: *world
JimmyFetus: I'm just starting to figure out that...I have too much life left.
JimmyFetus: I'll live what I can of it.
JimmyFetus: So I've been working on improving my philosophy and psychological understanding.
JimmyFetus: Yeah, big words, eh?
Eclipsely Pixie: MmmmmI guess
Eclipsely Pixie: Im sorry
Eclipsely Pixie: about your life breaking down
Eclipsely Pixie: Today, Everyone was asking me what awas wrong.
Eclipsely Pixie: and do you know what?
JimmyFetus: What'd you say?
Eclipsely Pixie: My ex FIance Changed me. I Open my mouth but no words come out
Eclipsely Pixie: I told them nothing was wrong
Eclipsely Pixie: I just feel like pushing everyone away
Eclipsely Pixie: But I want them to listen to me. I want to tell them I need to tell them somaybe I will feel better. but I cant
JimmyFetus: Well..
JimmyFetus: If you ever want to talk..
JimmyFetus: I'm here.
Eclipsely Pixie: Its like tears are welling up in my heart and mind
Eclipsely Pixie: but not in my eyes
Eclipsely Pixie: I know
Eclipsely Pixie: thank you
JimmyFetus: I know. Like your heart's being torn apart.
Eclipsely Pixie: Yes
Eclipsely Pixie: Completly
Eclipsely Pixie: and Part of me doesnt even know why
JimmyFetus: Yeah.
JimmyFetus: Same here.
JimmyFetus: I kept wondering why... I mean, part of me thinks that it's my fault I got that way, the other blames everyone else.
JimmyFetus: It's hard to figure out what's right.
Eclipsely Pixie: Iknwo
Eclipsely Pixie: *know
Eclipsely Pixie: I blame KRis
Eclipsely Pixie: I was very outspoken
Eclipsely Pixie: he wasnt and I think he rubbed off on me
Eclipsely Pixie: He changed me
Eclipsely Pixie: and not for the better
JimmyFetus: Awe... But...everyone changes you.
JimmyFetus: Everything does.
Eclipsely Pixie: I know
JimmyFetus: Experience.
JimmyFetus: If you didn't change, don't you think you'd only be run into the ground?
Eclipsely Pixie: just talking about him makes my stomach flutter and tear apeart
JimmyFetus: Mhhm.
JimmyFetus: It'll work in the end, though.
Eclipsely Pixie: I gues
Eclipsely Pixie: I hope
JimmyFetus: It's good to hope.
JimmyFetus: Just don't put too much hope into it. Unless you're really patient.
JimmyFetus: It may take time. In fact, it probably will.
Eclipsely Pixie: Im not patient at all
Eclipsely Pixie: Patience is a Virtue.. That I dont Possess

328869  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-08-23
Written: (7207 days ago)

DONT Judge me by the way I dress.
Cause Im really Not A bitch.
Just because I try to be Well Groom is not a SIn
Try it. Lets Begin

I cant Believe she thinks im a bitch by how i dress! How fucking Lame is that!?!
My friendss think that she;s just jealous cause everytime she see's me I jsut got off of work at the revenue office and I have to look spiffy. I admit. I dont try/want to look grungy. and even if she didnt see me jsut getting off of work that doesnt mean that Im going to look nasty. Being Well groomed is a goo thing. Maybe she should tryi ti some time.ok. yes, Im skinniwer than her. From what I know more Guys like me. But maybe if she tried a lil bit harder in self appearence guys would be drooling over her!
DONT JUDGE ME UNLESS YOU KNOW ME!
Once you get know know me,. You can judge me as much as you want. But until that time, lay off of me and treat me like you do everyone else you dont know!
she treats everyone else that she just met all nice and decent but toward me? Damn. I get a hateful look and a smart ass voice. I try to be Nice to every one I dont know! But she is making it a lil bit hard for me. She jumped down my throat for something. Do you know how hard it was to bit my tongue and just look away? Pretty damn hard considering I have been known as a smart ass for a couple years. and I speak what I think. Grrr....
Me'sa so Damn Pissed

320495  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-08-15
Written: (7215 days ago)

Im All Alone on a Saturday
Waiting for you to come my way
But I wait for you most of the Day

I Give Up Now
No longer will I hear your lame damn excuse
And I need to be cut loose.

See ya later
I wont look for you
See ya Later
I wont Wait for you

 The logged in version 

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