have a friend, he’s mostly made of pain
He wakes up, drives to work and straight back home again
He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper
I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover
And I tried to tell him that he had a sense
Of color and composition so magnificent
And he said thank you, please, but your flattery
It is truly not becoming me
Your eyes are poor, you’re blind, you see
No beauty ever could have come from me
I’m a waste
Of breath, of space, of time

I knew a woman she was dignified and true
Her love for her man was one of her many virtues
Until one day she found out that he had lied
And decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie
She was grateful for everything that had happened
And she was anxious for all that would come next
But then she wept, what did you expect
In that big old house with the car she kept
Such is life, she often said
With one day leading to the next
You get a little closer to your death
Which was fine with her, she never got upset
And with all the days she may have left
She would never clean another mess
Or fold his shirts, or look her best
She was free
To waste away alone

Last night my brother, he got drunk and drove
And this cop, he pulled him off to the side of the road
And he said officer, officer, you’ve got the wrong man
No, no, I’m a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don’t understand
The cop said No one got hurt, you should be thankful
And your carelessness, it is something awful
And no I can’t just let you go
And though your father’s name is known
Your decisions now are yours alone
You’re nothing but a stepping stone on a path
To debt, to loss, to shame

The last few months I’ve been living with this couple
Yeah, you know the kind who buy everything in doubles
Yeah, they fit together like a puzzle
I love their love and I am thankful
That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
By all those fairy tales that drugged us
they still do me. I’m sick, lonely
No laurel tree, just green envy
Will my number come up eventually
Like love’s some kind of lottery
Where you scratch and see what’s underneath
It’s sorry
Just one cherry
I’ll play again, get lucky

So now I hang out down by the train's depot
No, I don’t ride, I just sit and watch the people there
They remind me of wind-up cars in motion
They way they spin and turn and jockey for positions
And I wanna scream out that it all is nonsense
Their life’s one track and can’t they see it’s pointless?
But just then my knees give under me
My head feels weak and suddenly
It’s clear to see, it’s not them, but me
Who’s lost my self-identity
And I hide behind these books I read
While scribbling my poetry
Like art could save a wretch like me
With some ideal ideology
That no one could hope to achieve
And I'm never real, it's just a sketch of me
And everything I’ve made is trite and cheap and a waste
Of paint
Of tape
Of time

So I park my car down by the cathedral
Where the floodlights point up at the steeples
Choir practice is filling up with people
I hear the sound escaping as an echo
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle
When the voices blend they sound like angels
I hope there’s some room still in the middle
But when lift my voice up now to reach them
The range is too high way up in heaven
So I hold my tongue, forget the song
Tie my shoes, start walking off
And try to just keep moving on
With my broken heart and my absent god
And I have no faith but it’s all I want
To be loved
And believe
In my soul, in my soul

Anyone who wants to know the human psyche will learn next to nothing from experimental psychology. He would be better advised to abandon exact science, put away his scholar's gown, bid farewell to his study, and wander with human heart throught the world. There in the horrors of prisons, lunatic asylums and hospitals, in drab suburban pubs, in brothels and gambling-hells, in the salons of the elegant, the Stock Exchanges, socialist meetings, churches, revivalist gatherings and ecstatic sects, through love and hate, through the experience of passion in every form in his own body, he would reap richer stores of knowledge than text-books a foot thick could give him, and he will know how to doctor the sick with a real knowledge of the human soul.

-- Carl Jung

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Oscar_Wilde/
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Authors/?Oscar_Wilde

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«´¨'·.¸¸.~*~*PREM*~*~.¸¸.·'¨´»
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Boredom aroused me last night...I picked up my guitar and began to play. I had forgotten the beliefs of self hate; "I suck.."

I fell in love with the sweet sensations, I became a victim of a simple chord. I gave my sould to a new religion. It ws like an intoxication, a shower of complete bliss. I entered nirvana...I stopped. And I closed the eyes of my subconcious and I saw the world. Rotting. Rotting away...

Hi chani bhanji!

It has been a long time since we have last spoken and yes, now we do have a lot in common since I went to the Wayne Dyer seminar, ha-ha..the best synopsis that I can give you on it is that sometimes things happen in our life that can be good or bad, but it is up to us to take it in a positive direction. For example, originally, I was not supposed to go to the seminar, but as fate had it, my dad did not want to go, so I was the only person willing to go, though I must admit, at first I had NO IDEA what any of this was about. I went because I knew that it made my mom happy and all I had to do give up four hours which I would have probably wasted doing something else. So, it turns out that it was the best four hours ever, not only was my mom happy and it gave us a bond at a new level, but it helped me understand life more.

There are many things that I understand more now than I did before. First, I know that I cannot undermine anything since everything is a part of god, this means my enemies, my friends, family, myself, and even the obsolete things that exist that we don't even think about like an ant, or a mosquito. Now, to me, it means the same thing to kill an ant as it is to kill a human. Just because an ant is smaller, cant communicate to us, and is 'icky', it doesn't mean that it gives us grounds to kill them.

second, in our lives, there are many things that occur to us that do not make sense. it seems that what happens to us is unfair and uncalled for. We may be good people who pray, have love for everything and try endlessly to help others, but bad things still happen. bad things happen to innocent beings, such as children or the elderly. But we must understand that there is a purpose to everything that happens to us. there are things that have been really hard for me to deal with in my life and that i blamed myself, other people and even god sometimes. it has been a hard journey to overcome my struggles, but then I realized that the only was that I was going to overcome this hardship was through god. With his help, I have become a stronger, wiser and a more faithful person. Without these bumps in the road, I would have never reached my destination.

of course when hardships come into our lives, we can sometimes form enemies. From this seminar I have realized the harm that I can cause myself by hating these people for hurting me so much, but instead i must forgive them and pray for them. This is the only way that I have moved on from my bad experiences and found the light in the situation, no matter how difficult it is to do it. The funny thing is that there is always critics that will say 'how can you forgive someone so bad???' but its hard to understand that its it literally impossible to move on until you forgive.

He also talked about the befits of positive thinking, I have a funny story about this one...my mom was sitting beside this guy whose breath smelt awful. for three hours she sat there covering her nose and then finally during the break, I told her that I would switch her seats. I switched seats with her and before anyone came back I said to her that I was using positive thinking so that he would switch seats with his wife also, and as it turns out, he switched seats with his brother! Me and my mom were laughing so much about this and it also stressed his point about positive thinking.

Regarding the war in Iraq, I was effected by it because I watched a video where these muslims beheaded an american. It was disturbing and I honestly could not sleep until I went to the seminar. I prayed and prayed for this guys soul and his family. I cant even imagine the horror...... but, as wayne dyer said, it is not up to us to change the world, for us to sit here and focus our negative energy on this will only make things worse, but if everyone looked at the world more positively, it would eliminate many of these problems. I also wanted to thank you for the story you sent me regarding the war, it was very helpful in giving me a perspective on this issue.

In the seminar the one thing that he said that stuck out and that summed up everything was that the branches of a tree never fight. god is the trunk of the the tree and we are the branches and were are still fighting...

anyhow, write back soon, I am looking forward to your perspectives and comments!!

love,

Kulwant

PS sorry for the bad grammer its late at night right now and Im about to hit the sack!

the past days have felt like my whole world came crashing down upon me. It's been all found out, but I didn't admit. I hated the world, every moment I thought of everything i felt my eyes hurting to cry. And when i cried at night, the tears were so soothing, so blissfull. It felt like I was screaming at everything but silently.

No less that 7days i was like this. And now, i'm calmer and still quite angry at everything. All I want is things to return to normal, and my privacy back.

Even now, I keep screaming in my mind "It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair." It isn't. It can't be.

It's kind of funny in a way, because what they're trying to break can't break. It's just too strong...and that makes me smile. I still have what would be the only thing I would be willing to die for.

It's just so strange....

Bombay Dreams. Shakalaka baby!! :P

I am worth exactly: $2,216,730.00.

Love is like
Walking in a rose garden.
But only seeing, one
Single rose.

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your
hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need I'll love you more
with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I will be strong I will be
faithful 'cause I'm counting on A new beginning A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah [chorus:]I want to stand with you
on a mountain I want to bath with you in the sea I want to lay like
this forever Until the sky falls down on me And when the stars are
shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry The tears of joy for all the pleasure in
the certainty That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers In lonely hours The tears devour you
[chorus]Oh can you see it baby? You don't have to
close your eyes 'Cause it's standing right here before you All that
you need with surely come I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll
be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that
you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do
[chorus]I want to stand with you on a mountain I
want to bathe with you in the sea I want to live like this forever Until
the sky falls down on me

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..../... I....I....(¯ `\
...I.....I....I.....\....\
...I.....I´¯.I´¯.I \...\
...\......` ¯..¯ ´......*
....\__rock on_.•´

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades

Keep the noise low.
She doesn't wanna blow it.
Shaking head to toe
while your left hand does "the show me around."
Quickens your heartbeat.
It beats me straight into the ground.

You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for...

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Aerosmith - Jaded

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
You've got your mama's style but you're yesterday's child to me
So Jaded
You think that's where it's at but is that where it's supposed to be?
You're gettin' it all over me
X-rated

CHORUS
My, my, baby blue
(Yeah I'm thinkin' 'bout you)
My, my, baby blue
Yeah, you're so Jaded
And I'm the one that Jaded you

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
In all its misery it will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side we're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be Jaded

CHORUS
(w/) Yeah, I'm so Jaded
And baby I'm afraid of you

BRIDGE
You're thinkin' so complicated
I've had it all up to here
But it's so overrated
Love and hate it
Wouldn't trade it
Love Me Jaded

GUITAR SOLO

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
There ain't no "baby please" when I'm shootin' the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ecstasy's what you prefer

CHORUS

(w/) (Blue, blue, blue, Yeah)
(I'm talkin' 'bout you)
(Blue, blue, blue, blue Yeah)
(Yeah, been thinkin' 'bout you)
My, my, baby blue
Yeah, you're so Jaded (Baby)
Jaded (Baby)
You're so Jaded
'Cause I'm the one that Jaded you