Ever since I saw you
What has come over me
What is this
Ecstasy I feel?

I hope I don't fall in love
I hope I don't get lost
How do I hold myself back, tell me!

A fragrance
Clouds my vision
And suffuses my being
What storm
Rages under my breath

I don't know
I hope I don't make the mistake
I hope I don't fall in love
How do I hold myself back, tell me

I can't
hold myself
back anymore

How do I
tell you?
Its no fault of mine

I hope I don't give into desire
I hope I don't fall in love
How do I hold myself back, tell me

There goes the rainless cloud, I can't see any rain
here i can hear the cuckoo's melancholy, I can't hear any melody
This earth in itself is a garden, but the petals of my flower are dying
This life in itself is a bounty, but my soul is getting eroded...

The moon shines bright,
Time seems to be moving slow
Nobody seems to be realising all this
But my eyes are alone set on you
As the breeze blows past
The garden seems to smile
Nobody seems to be enjoying all this
But my hands alone shall touch you
The wind shall continue blowing
The warmth of the sunshine shall continue
There is no change in all that
The sky and earth would wish us a great life
And those wishes haven't yet ceased
Forever in the skies...
The moon shines bright
There goes the desired cloud, ask for the rains
Here you can hear the cuckoo singing, listen to its music
The earth in itself is a beautiful garden, go search for your flowers
This life in itself is a bounty, go search for your needs.
The moon shines bright...

You are the one,
how can i live without you?
Come soon,
Don't torment me anymore
Oh my love, come and reside in my breath,
oh moon, come down and make my heart your abode
come and meet me if you love me,
Otherwise, bury me into the ground at once.
Feel the restlessness of my breath
There seems to be no respite for them
They are telling me to lay my eyes
on the road ahead
If you break my hope
I will cease to live anymore
The choice of life or death
is now fully in your hands
i have come,
I have come for you
Breaking all the bonds for our love
My love, My love,
let us become one now
Let me get one with your breath
I wil come each time you call me
once i have given my heart to you
how can one eye sleep?
When the other one is weeping?
I crossed all the obstacles that lay
in the path of love...
I am a river laiden with desire,
About to join it's ocean
What is this?
Today my tears also feel sweet!!
Time is passing by every minute
Please tell time to stop now as i savour this moment.

Deep are the shadows
Of the clouds of dreams...
Lost in love, we both see
Dreams being awake and asleep
Silently, and amazed...
This life is like a story
No one knows when what will happen...
This life is like a journey,
You never know which direction it'll take you...
I wish at this very moment
My eyes lose their power to see...
I wish I am never reminded
Of my dreams and aspirations
The blood flowing in the veins
Feels like fire...
There is a faint trace of consciousness left
But things are now out of my control
The Restlessness in my body
Spread through like electricity
But a pleasant cloud of pain
Spread over my mind and body
A pounding heart,
Quivering breath,
How will my difficulties ever resolve?

Oh moon! How can you be in two skies?
Oh friend! Here i am not knowing what to do!
My eyes! You fell in love,
Wove the flower of love
You plucked that flower, my friend,
Alas! My heart, what can it do...

The sky can't get wet in the rain
A beautiful face can't dissolve in tears
Love never sought my permission before it got on me
Even after telling me, it does not leave me,
Even if I forget my heart won't forget
Even if i die,
My love will never die...

I got only one heart
Even that isn't mine, it's yours
I can give you whatever you ask for
Can even give my life for you,
But love isn't something that can be given;
If i do manage to give it,
it ceases to be "love"...

The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, Son of Arathorn

Day One:

Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.
Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.
Still not King.

Day Four:

Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.
Not King yet.

Day Six:

Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.

Day Ten:

Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Baelrog.
Not King today either.

Day Eleven:

Orcs killed: 7. V. good. Stubble update: Looking mangy.

Legolas may be hotter than me.
I wonder if he would like me if I was King?

Day 28:

Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.
Still not King.

Day 30:

In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.

Nice chat with Boromir. He’s not so bad.
Took a shower. Yay!
But still not King.

Day 32:

Orcs killed: none. Stubble update: subtly hairy.

Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.

I think Legolas might be kinda gay.

Nope, not King.

Day 33:

Orcs killed: Countless thousands. V. good.

Boromir killed by Orcs. Bummer. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay.
Not so sure about Gimli either.
RIP Boromir.
Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.

Day 34:

Frodo went to Mordor. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Why?

My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?

Not so sure about me either.

Still not King, goddammit.

WAHAHA...Harry Potters MINE!


Cool...I'm Ron.


Brian Molko. The coolest dude ever. Picture courtesy of http://www.brian-molko.com/


You are most like Aragorn. You have strong convictions and you stick to them. Although you are more of a recluse, you are extremely loyal to the few friends that you have. You are very serious about things, but you like having fun. Fame and fortune mean little to you, and you aren't concerned with being popular. Good for you!
http://www.geocities.com/mydigitalview/lotr_person.html

The sun seems sad
A cloudy atmosphere
All looks bad
In me I can sense fear

Let’s talk about it
Yeah

Nevermind
I ain’t that bad
Your attempts are kind
Sadness is really all I had

C’mon!
Let’s Talk about it!
Yeah!

Lifes a whore
Love’s like a curse
What’s more
You ain’t my nurse

C’mon!
Let’s talk about it
Yeah
Let’s talk about it

i take the previous entry back. Feeling quite sad. Isn't it sad when friendships, love, relationships and something good ends??? Very sad indeed. Especially when you're attatched. When you told him everything existing in your heart...and he just leaves. It hurts. But I am strong...

I miss school. I miss love. I want time to go faster. I miss my friends. I miss my life. I'm stuck at home a prison. My family are mad at me for some reason. I didn't do anything. I don't deserve this pain. I want to stop. I want to just stop here and leave everything behind. Leave all the pain to victimize themselves. I can't. They're victimizing nothing. me.

My exams finished less than a week ago. Joy. Summer Holidays are here and it feels like it's the weekend everyday. Yesterday i went to the special olympics host town party and I met two Russian Athletes. I forget their names but they were one of the nicest people on earth. I gave one of them my e-mail address. *crosses fingers* i hope...

Yesterday my dad got an angiogram done and the results weren't good. He needs a bypass and I'm very worried. My mother's ill too. She gets tired a lot quicker these days. My sister in law's pregnant. Mum can't look after the whole family by herself so i've got to take a lot of the load. A few of my relatives are ill too. Two people i know died this year and that makes me worried more. All I can do is hope. But at a time like this, even hope comes with some doubts.

I miss the deceased. I miss the distant. Joyfull memories haunt me and I wonder where the distant have gone. Why have they gone? Why have they left me? Why have they silenced themselves. In conclusion to the thoughts i ask myself "is it me that has become silet?"

I haven't written anything here. Just a thought, i'm probably one of the few people who take this section seriously. I'm doing exams...o levels. aka the junior certificate examination. Two more days...

But i haven't stopped looking back on the past year. So many things have happened. So many things...i don't seem to have enough energy to continue on anymore. I'm exhausted. I need to stop. I need the world to stop. Or else less selfish, I should stop. So many things have happened. Looking back in the past no year has been like this year before. I fear for the future..the past has been so frightening and gloomy i'm fear what the future holds. each day i wonder. I don't live in today anymore. It's either yesterday or tomorrow. I want to come back in between. Yet again i don't regret my past actions...i don't hate what has happened. It seems i'm more grown up...i'm no longer hyper and laugh at stupid things. but i still wonder...

hey way cool, i'm Donnie darko! wooo! I love that movie so much...it's the best..ever!!!

(picture courtesy of
http://hope.falling-star.org/donnieq.html)

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places – worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere – going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression – no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow – no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very very
mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday – happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen – sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me – no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me – look right through me

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very very
Mad world . . . world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

- gary jules, mad world

I wrote this ages ago...decided to put it up. It's full of self pity and I was shit depressed, but i'm alright now. :)

Screaming, deceiving, bleeding
myself
No one's listening
Always being defeated
No one can find the problem
Always confusing myself
Now I can't trust myself anymore
I can't see,
My vision is blurring more and more
I'm stuck here
On an empty desert
I give up
I cam here in the first place
i can't find my way back
I give in
Is there any point
In waiting to be saved?

Who are you?

How do you describe yourself?

To answer these two questions, you will very likely have to refer to your own history, to a past that has been lived through, but to which you are undoubtedly tied, and from which you find it difficult to escape. What are your self-descriptors? are they neat little labels that you have accumulated over a lifetime? Do you have a drawer full of self-definitions which you use on a regular basis? They may include tags such as I'm nervous, I'm shy, I'm lazy, i'm not musical, I'm a klutz, I'm forgetful, and a whole catalog of additional I'ms that you use...Self-descriptors are not themselves inappropriate, but they can be used in harmful ways. The very act of labeling might be a specific dterrent to growth. It's easy to use the label as a justification for remaining the same.

"Balanced. You accept your emotions as normal and are not overly happy nor depressed. You are emotionally balanced and should find peace in the way you deal with life situations. Your emotions are normal and well understood. You see the light in the dark."

you've got to be kidding me...lol.

This is an e-mail i got ages ago, decided to stick it up. whoever reads this, it'll really cheer you up and make you think. it's soooo sweet!!!

"No guy is worth your tears & when you find one that is, he won't make you
cry.

Everyone says you only fall in love once but that's not true, every time I
hear your voice I fall in love all over again

If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be
broken but a circle goes on forever

When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you*When i first talked to you
I was afraid to like you*When i first liked you i was afraid to love
you*Now that I love you I m afraid to lose you

A KISS BLOWN IS A KISS WASTED THE ONLY REALLY KINDA KISS IS A KISS TASTED

A MeMoRy LaStS 4eVeR NeVeR DoEs it DiE TrUe FrieNdS StAy toGeThEr AnD NeVer
SaYs GoOdByE 

Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Than A
Dream

If you love me like you told me please be careful with my heart you can
take it; just don't break it or my world will fall apart

Fine guys open my eyes, smart guys open my mind but only a sweet guy can
open my heart

Dream as if you'll live forever...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

*§omewhere There'§ §omeone Who Dream§ Of Your §mile, And Find§ In Your
Pre§ence That Life I§ Worth While, §o When You Are Lonely, Remember It'§
True: §omebody, §omewhere Is Thinking Of You*

Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)

*You can fall from the sky* *You can fall from a tree* *But the best way to
fall* *Is in love with me*

If You Luv Me... Let Me Know... If You Don't... Then Let Me Go...

I loved you once ...<3
you loved me not...<3
I loved you twice....<3
but I forgot......<3
you never loved me ..<3
you never will...<3
but even so...<3
I love you still.......<3

Tell me if you love me....
. tell me if Its true...
Let me be your forever......
and 4 ever it will be me and you"

Extremely tired. Attended a maths seminar today. It was all right. I begun to feel faint during the end: lack of oxygen. Came home. Mum tired. She’s been cooking all day. No body understands her. My dad told me to go help her. I emptied the dishwasher and helped to make bread. Then dad got told me to get off the net and help mum giving out I didn’t help her. He turned off my Internet. Bastard. I shouldn’t say this…. but I really hate my family at the moment. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just a teenage thing. I hate them for stupid reasons. And I believe I’m a reasonable person…but I do stuff without thinking. I say stuff without thinking. I talk a lot of shit basically. For some strange reason people find me interesting. I think I’m in love again. Shit…shit. Fuck. No! Love is something I’m not good at. I know much about it… but me in love? Gosh. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’d do anything for love. To be romantic. Once I cried I was so much in love. Love…grrrr. Being in love ends up with my heartbreak. Usually. No body ever knows it but I’m very shy. Despite my talking shit habit I’m shy. I don’t say anything deep or romantic unless I’m in a particular situation or I’m writing. If anybody who knew me knew what I’m thinking about when I’m love, they’d be very surprised. I’m a strange kid. On the outside I’m a clumsy weirdo. On the inside I’m a philosophical hopeless romantic. The last time I fell in love didn’t turn out well. It’s pathetic really, but when I had gathered up to the courage to get someone to tell him I fancy him, he rejected me. Saying he didn’t like me “that” way. When my friend told me, I sounded disappointed. But I was much worse. I cried myself to sleep. Even when I think about it now, I begin to feel the tears wanting to break free. I think that’s pathetic, I should be over it now. But I really liked him. He was the nicest guy ever. And I got rejected. Since then, love has been something I’ve been avoiding. However, it followed me like a shadow, like a stalker. And it’s got me again. Thinking about him makes my heart pound, makes my heart go faster, my thoughts always go to him no matter what I’m thinking. I want to go in the corner and think of him. Why is life so cruel? Why is everything so impossible? Why…
People say that when I speak to them I don’t look at them in the eyes. It’s because the eyes are the windows to the soul; when you look in them you get to know a lot about a person. My soul is something personal, if you must look into my eyes, you should earn my trust and my friendship. When people see pictures of me looking straight at the camera, emotions are quickly spotted but clues about my past is revealed. Thank god. My past is something strange. I’ve only told a few people about my past. The few people I’ve told, only one person has not forgotten. I can trust that person with my life. Looking into someone’s eyes would be overwhelming. It’s a shame. Some people tell me when I stare into their eyes they get overwhelmed and shocked. I can’t lie. In my past, I was lost. Major things took place and I promised myself I would keep all of it a secret. I’ve broken that promise after 12 years. But yet again, I haven’t told the people who would help me find myself and heal the inner child. Look into my eyes and you will see love, kindness, my past, the present, emotions and my soul. 
sorry for rambling on whoever read this.

Quit acting so friendly,
Don’t nod, don’t laugh all nicely,
Don’t think you’ll upend me.
Don’t sigh, don’t sip your iced tea.
And don’t, “it’s been a while…”
And don’t flash that stupid smile.

Don’t ask me how I’ve been.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten,
You never liked that necklace.
So cordial, so rotten,
Kiss, kiss, let’s meet for breakfast.
Don’t show up so on time
And don’t act like you’re so kind.

Don’t ask me how I’ve been.

Don’t sit there and play just
So frank, so straight, so candid,
So thoughtful, so gracious,
So sound, so even-handed.
Don’t be damn benign
And don’t waste my blasted time.

Don’t ask me how I’ve been.

By OK GO (don't ask me)