The child is born -- he is the ultimate. Thought will come by and by; he will accumulate knowledge, he will write many things on his slate of being. And he will become a knower -- this and that -- and he will get identified with being a doctor or an engineer or a professor. But the moment he was born he was just pure awareness; just a freshness, a clean slate, nothing written on it, not even his own signature. He had no name and he had no idea who he was.

That is primal innocence, and that is our ultimate. Our ultimate being is before thought and after thought. Not that it disappears when thought is there, but it becomes clouded -- just like the sun surrounded by too many clouds. When there are dark clouds, it appears as if the sun has disappeared.

We never lose our ultimacy, we cannot. That's what ultimacy is -- it cannot be lost. It is our innermost nature -- there is no way to lose it. But it can become clouded. The flame can become too clouded with smoke, can almost be thought of as lost. The sun can be so clouded that it appears as though dark night has come -- that's the situation. We are before thought, we are while thought is there, we will be when thought has disappeared -- we are always here. But when thought is there, it is very difficult to know who we are, what exactly this consciousness is.

Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest,
Nobody does it half as good as you, baby, you’re the best.
I wasn’t lookin’ but somehow you found me.
I tried to hide from your love light,
But like heaven above me, the spy who loved me,
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight.

Nobody does it better, sometimes I wish someone could.
Nobody does it quite the way you do. did you have to be so good?
The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me,
There’s some kind of magic inside you,
That keeps me from runnin’, but just keep it comin’,
How’d you learn to do the things you do?

And nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.
Nobody does it half as good as you.
Baby, baby, baby you’re the best!

the breath of sadness
and the silence with out tears
flitter in and out the window
of many lives played and games
held so dear

she held what was left so close
most was just a mere memory
thoughts of him...
with such little energy,
even thoughts were plain,
plain and black and white
she was going now,
yet no farewell
she let her bloody hand hold a pen
"I gave you my last breath"
with that she fell,
as she fell, the silence began to scream
it screamed through the country
mourning the loss of the king's secret lover...

beneath her unmarked grave
rose a shade who strived to breathe
it meant to strike out against
those who tosed her away.
in the obscure darkness
of her lost soul she screamed
and was not heard
then upon the hill in the distance
the great king rode in his colours
enraged the shade flew forth
and slew him with her taint.
blinking she opened her eyes
and found her self a he,
in side the king living as he did
whispering to himself she said:
"so here i am, alive atleast"

The King bewildered replied,
"My love..."
he trailed off, entranced by this beauty
it was truely clear
that all her pains
and every scar
were left behind with the tragedy
with this angellic trance,
the king fell into the silence
silence had become silent once more

riding on he felt her pain
and was pained to admit
that he was also she
like to minds frozen into one
like romeo and juliet always wanted to be

I took Cyans personality quiz! , and I turned out to be Edea

Who am I to you?...
My gaze is restless
What an effect love has on me!
Don't stay quiet; tell me at least this much:
Who am I... who am I to you
So many times I stopped myself, beloved
but at last, I had to speak
Why do you enter my dreams?
Who am I... who am I to you
My gaze is restless
What an effect love has on me!
It is a constant worry; don't ask me
who I am... who I am to you
How shall I tell you of my heart's desire?
Read my face sometime
The blush on my face may tell you
who I am...who I am to you
Without you, what is life? What is there to live for?
Without you, what is life?
How can my life go on without you?
How can I go on living without you?
The nights are longer than centuries;
the days pass more slowly than millenia.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
In the evenings, loneliness wakes (in me).
I'm missing you;
I feel like I'm dying;
you are tormenting me.
In this heart memories of you clamor.
How lonely I am without you!
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
The things I'd imagined for us!
The dreams I'd embroidered!
The many things my heart hoped for!
The desires that stirred in me...
Storms pass through this heart of mine;
without you, I manage to neither live nor die.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
How can my life go on without you?
How can I go on living without you?
The nights are longer than centuries;
the days pass more slowly than millenia.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.

"mr Jones" - counting crows

I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this
yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-
haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
I wish I was beautiful
So come dance this silence down through the morning
Cut up, Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dances
Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes
Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me."
Smiling in the bright lights
Coming through in stereo
When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely
I will paint my picture
Paint myself in blue and red and black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
Gray is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play
Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standing in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely
I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different
reasons for that
Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe
Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio
Yeah we stare at the beautiful women
"She's perfect for you, Man, there's got to be
somebody for me."
I want to be Bob Dylan
Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more
funky
When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as
funky as you can be
Mr. Jones and me staring at the video
when I look at the television, I want to see me staring
right back at me
We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why
and we don't know how
But when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just
about as happy as I can be
Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars...

the last three weeks have been weird. I've been away from home, in a different country, a different continent. I've been here before, so many times, arriving with a smile and leaving with a frown. All the time. Except for this one. Arrived with a frown and i will be leaving with a smile. Am i being a typical teenager? or have i been looking at the negative side of things instead of looking at the good??? I thought i'd love it here, the snow, the cold and thinking of my beloved. What i have been doing was thinking of my beloved (how can i not?) and of course, missing him. Lifes not the same without my friends, without appreciation for nature. The fact is, i really love ireland. I've become to attatched to the ways of that country, i've become irish. But i don't understand, coming from an Indian family, being brought up the indian way, i'm meant to be both. I guess i can't fit in anywhere. I don't belong. No matters. India is home to me. Ireland will always be there, be my home. At home things are...well, homely. Home is where my heart lies.....

At a recent conference in Oxford, an extraordinary man
by the name of David Hawkins was one of the speakers.
This small frail -looking man in his seventies was
an absolute inspiration. His voice, deep strong and booming,
seemed totally out of place with his frail stature.
But it was clear to see, it was his strong spirit he
identified with. He was not his body, in fact he was hardly conscious
of it.
As a child he was caught in a snow drift and was floating above his body, ready to
leave, when the rescue team found him. He watched, as his father was beside himself because his son had stopped breathing. David did not want to see his father so upset so he decided for his father's sake, he would breath life back into his body.
He himself was really not that fussed, he was quite content to move on.This lack
of the fear of death has given this man a quiet confidence and knowing that everything is all alright with the world, it really is all to purpose. He has no doubts! He seems to be much more aware of the bigger picture than the rest of us.

The centrepins for a strong sense of spirituality

1. Is knowing that we are just energy, and energy cannot be destroyed, it only changes form. We don't die, we change form.

2. That everything is unfolding as it should. It might not be the way we want it to be, but it is unfolding the way it needs for our growing.

There are books out there that have been written about people and their
out of body experiences and you can get a flavour, but to be in the energy of someone
who has had an near death experience is a whole new ball game.
The total lack of fear was almost tangible.
The no doubt was heart warming and awesome, an experience that will stay with me
for a very long time.
David Hawkins has written three books
"Power vs Force". "The Eye". "I"
This was the subject of his lecture. I was so caught up with the energy of this remarkable man, and I'd be hard pressed to recall all the details of his lecture.

http://www.ipu.ie/Public/PubLinks/hospital.pdf

http://www.chineseastrology.com/wu/index1.html

http://www.chineseastrologyonline.com/Default.htm

http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/Default.htm

www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/matchmaker.htm

www.findyourfate.com

I have a problem i can't explain. I like the reason why i should be so confused. I have no reason why it shoud've been so plain. No questions, no excuse. I know..no. I don't know how i feel when i'm around you. I left a message but it's not even a small bit of use. Today you saw me and I saw you. We acted like complete strangers. Am i what i was anymore? Or am i merely a stranger. "leave me alone" you said. Fine.
I know..maybe i don't know, (leave me in my confusion..) how i feel when i'm around you.

DOB: 16/12/87
Name: Prem Kaur Neote
Nicknames: Chicken Boy, Moth girl, Repunzel, Pocahontas, Premmy, Pree-am, Pram, Prem-ature, Preamp..
Favourite,
Food: uh...pizza
Drink: uh...water?     
Animal: i love all animals!
Season: all are special...:)
Constellation: Sagitarius..
Movie: ohh so many. Moulin Rouge, LOTR, Matrix, Bridget Jones' diary...
Song: too many to write down...     
Brand name: brands are something i don't give a damn about.
Choose:
Blood or alcohol: i dunno..    
Night or day: Night.
Sex or drugs: sex!      
City or island: depends who i'm with....
Black or white: Both are cool
Rose or Lilly: both!
Jade or Diamond: both!!!
Many or few: Few.
Wealth or happiness: Happinesss  
Want kids: Yes.
Want to get married: Yes.
Feel sorry for people: yeahh
Feel sorry for animals: of course!
Like attention: At times
Like people: Few
Like crowds: Not really...
Like parties: depends what kind of people are attending...        
Like malls: If they got my kinda shops...yeah. :P
Are you:
Antisocial: At times.
Sociopathic: sorta....
Crazy: Yes      
Perverted: pretty much.
Heterosexual: Yup.
Homosexual: Nope.
Bisexual: No.      
Gloraphobic: Not really
Arachnophobia: Spiders are my friends
Homophobic: No.
An insomniac: wasn't..but i've become one in the past few months...*yawn*

COCAINE GIRL - Nirvana

Looking for a new kinda lover
another girl made a brother
someone who can make me feel how i wanna feel
and tell me all the things that i wanna hear
and makes me loose control and makes me go insane
i want a girl, it's just cocaine

cocaine, cocaine

screwed up (screw her) everytime she needs to pee
in the blue reality
i just wanted to make me feel how i wanna feel
and tell me all the things that i wanna hear
and makes me loose control and makes go insane
i want a girl, it's just cocaine

cocaine, cocaine

and now i (want some)watched her, a wlulhuhu-wuhuh
jeah and i feel like the mud
cuz that girl who can make me feel how i wanna feel
and tell me all the things that i wanna hear
and makes me loose control and makes me go insane
jeah that girl, it's just cocaine

she left me for a snowman
say byeeeeee

Rage Against The Machine
Rage Against the Machine (1992)
Settle For Nothing

A jail cell is freedom from the pain in my home
Hatred passed on, passed on and passed on
A world of violent rage
But it's one that I can recognise
Having never seen the colour of my father's eyes
Yes, I dwell in hell, but it's a hell that I can grip
I tried to grip my family
But I slipped

To escape from the pain in an existence mundane
I gotta 9, a sign, a set and now I gotta name

Read my writing on the wall
No-one's here to catch me when I fall
Death is on my side....suicide!

A jail cell is freedom from the pain in my home
Hatred passed on, passed on and passed on
A world of violent rage
But it's one that I can recognise
Having never seen the colour of my father's eyes
Yes, I dwell in hell, but it's a hell that I can grip
I tried to grip my family
But I slipped

To escape from the pain in an existence mundane
I gotta 9, a sign, a set and now I gotta name

Read my writing on the wall
No-one's here to catch me when I fall
Caught between my culture and the system....genocide!

Read my writing on the wall
No-one's here to catch me when I fall
If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face
Yeah!

If we don't take action now
We settle for nothing later
Settle for nothing now
And we'll settle for nothing later

If we don't take action now
We settle for nothing later
We'll settle for nothing now
And we'll settle for nothing later

If we don't take action now
We'll settle for nothing later
We settle for nothing now
And we'll settle for nothing later

If we don't take action now
We settle for nothing later
We'll settle for nothing now
And we'll settle for nothing later

proper entry....

life's boring...
must read...
must draw...
must breathe...
graaa...

PóG MO THóN!!! mUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

proper entry my ass...

Awwww!

Who can resist a cute anime girl? No-one, not even women! You're adorable, innocent, and sweet. You are constantly trying to help others, and you tend to be fairly shy. Stay happy and you'll be fine.

they're making me do it...

hehee reeaallly funny. :p

25 REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE
IS BETTER THAN A MAN!

Chocolate is rich, dark and satisfying

You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper

Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before

Chocolate always hits the spot

Chocolate doesn't secretly want to be eaten by your best friend

Chocolate doesn't think the shopping channel is stupid

Chocolate always smells good

Chocolates won't ask "Am I the best?" or "How was it?"

It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning

Chocolates are easy to pick up

Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft

You can suck a piece of chocolate even in front of your mother

Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth

You don't mind the brown stains left by chocolate

With chocolate, size doesn't really matter, it's always good

Chocolates do not wear white socks

Chocolate doesn't mind when you bite it's nuts

With chocolates, you don't have to be a virgin more than once

"If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate

You can have more than one chocolate a night without ruining your reputation

Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth

Chocolates aren't into rape or leather

You can tell just by looking at it, that it hasn't been in anyone else's mouth!