Hi chani bhanji!

It has been a long time since we have last spoken and yes, now we do have a lot in common since I went to the Wayne Dyer seminar, ha-ha..the best synopsis that I can give you on it is that sometimes things happen in our life that can be good or bad, but it is up to us to take it in a positive direction. For example, originally, I was not supposed to go to the seminar, but as fate had it, my dad did not want to go, so I was the only person willing to go, though I must admit, at first I had NO IDEA what any of this was about. I went because I knew that it made my mom happy and all I had to do give up four hours which I would have probably wasted doing something else. So, it turns out that it was the best four hours ever, not only was my mom happy and it gave us a bond at a new level, but it helped me understand life more.

There are many things that I understand more now than I did before. First, I know that I cannot undermine anything since everything is a part of god, this means my enemies, my friends, family, myself, and even the obsolete things that exist that we don't even think about like an ant, or a mosquito. Now, to me, it means the same thing to kill an ant as it is to kill a human. Just because an ant is smaller, cant communicate to us, and is 'icky', it doesn't mean that it gives us grounds to kill them.

second, in our lives, there are many things that occur to us that do not make sense. it seems that what happens to us is unfair and uncalled for. We may be good people who pray, have love for everything and try endlessly to help others, but bad things still happen. bad things happen to innocent beings, such as children or the elderly. But we must understand that there is a purpose to everything that happens to us. there are things that have been really hard for me to deal with in my life and that i blamed myself, other people and even god sometimes. it has been a hard journey to overcome my struggles, but then I realized that the only was that I was going to overcome this hardship was through god. With his help, I have become a stronger, wiser and a more faithful person. Without these bumps in the road, I would have never reached my destination.

of course when hardships come into our lives, we can sometimes form enemies. From this seminar I have realized the harm that I can cause myself by hating these people for hurting me so much, but instead i must forgive them and pray for them. This is the only way that I have moved on from my bad experiences and found the light in the situation, no matter how difficult it is to do it. The funny thing is that there is always critics that will say 'how can you forgive someone so bad???' but its hard to understand that its it literally impossible to move on until you forgive.

He also talked about the befits of positive thinking, I have a funny story about this one...my mom was sitting beside this guy whose breath smelt awful. for three hours she sat there covering her nose and then finally during the break, I told her that I would switch her seats. I switched seats with her and before anyone came back I said to her that I was using positive thinking so that he would switch seats with his wife also, and as it turns out, he switched seats with his brother! Me and my mom were laughing so much about this and it also stressed his point about positive thinking.

Regarding the war in Iraq, I was effected by it because I watched a video where these muslims beheaded an american. It was disturbing and I honestly could not sleep until I went to the seminar. I prayed and prayed for this guys soul and his family. I cant even imagine the horror...... but, as wayne dyer said, it is not up to us to change the world, for us to sit here and focus our negative energy on this will only make things worse, but if everyone looked at the world more positively, it would eliminate many of these problems. I also wanted to thank you for the story you sent me regarding the war, it was very helpful in giving me a perspective on this issue.

In the seminar the one thing that he said that stuck out and that summed up everything was that the branches of a tree never fight. god is the trunk of the the tree and we are the branches and were are still fighting...

anyhow, write back soon, I am looking forward to your perspectives and comments!!

love,

Kulwant

PS sorry for the bad grammer its late at night right now and Im about to hit the sack!

the past days have felt like my whole world came crashing down upon me. It's been all found out, but I didn't admit. I hated the world, every moment I thought of everything i felt my eyes hurting to cry. And when i cried at night, the tears were so soothing, so blissfull. It felt like I was screaming at everything but silently.

No less that 7days i was like this. And now, i'm calmer and still quite angry at everything. All I want is things to return to normal, and my privacy back.

Even now, I keep screaming in my mind "It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair." It isn't. It can't be.

It's kind of funny in a way, because what they're trying to break can't break. It's just too strong...and that makes me smile. I still have what would be the only thing I would be willing to die for.

It's just so strange....

Bombay Dreams. Shakalaka baby!! :P

I am worth exactly: $2,216,730.00.

Love is like
Walking in a rose garden.
But only seeing, one
Single rose.

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your
hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need I'll love you more
with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I will be strong I will be
faithful 'cause I'm counting on A new beginning A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah [chorus:]I want to stand with you
on a mountain I want to bath with you in the sea I want to lay like
this forever Until the sky falls down on me And when the stars are
shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry The tears of joy for all the pleasure in
the certainty That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers In lonely hours The tears devour you
[chorus]Oh can you see it baby? You don't have to
close your eyes 'Cause it's standing right here before you All that
you need with surely come I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll
be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that
you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do
[chorus]I want to stand with you on a mountain I
want to bathe with you in the sea I want to live like this forever Until
the sky falls down on me

.(....\................../....)
. \....\................/..../
...\....\............./..../
....\..../´¯.I.¯`\..../
..../... I....I....(¯ `\
...I.....I....I.....\....\
...I.....I´¯.I´¯.I \...\
...\......` ¯..¯ ´......*
....\__rock on_.•´

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades

Keep the noise low.
She doesn't wanna blow it.
Shaking head to toe
while your left hand does "the show me around."
Quickens your heartbeat.
It beats me straight into the ground.

You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for...

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Aerosmith - Jaded

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
You've got your mama's style but you're yesterday's child to me
So Jaded
You think that's where it's at but is that where it's supposed to be?
You're gettin' it all over me
X-rated

CHORUS
My, my, baby blue
(Yeah I'm thinkin' 'bout you)
My, my, baby blue
Yeah, you're so Jaded
And I'm the one that Jaded you

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
In all its misery it will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side we're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be Jaded

CHORUS
(w/) Yeah, I'm so Jaded
And baby I'm afraid of you

BRIDGE
You're thinkin' so complicated
I've had it all up to here
But it's so overrated
Love and hate it
Wouldn't trade it
Love Me Jaded

GUITAR SOLO

Hey
J-J-J-Jaded
There ain't no "baby please" when I'm shootin' the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ecstasy's what you prefer

CHORUS

(w/) (Blue, blue, blue, Yeah)
(I'm talkin' 'bout you)
(Blue, blue, blue, blue Yeah)
(Yeah, been thinkin' 'bout you)
My, my, baby blue
Yeah, you're so Jaded (Baby)
Jaded (Baby)
You're so Jaded
'Cause I'm the one that Jaded you

The child is born -- he is the ultimate. Thought will come by and by; he will accumulate knowledge, he will write many things on his slate of being. And he will become a knower -- this and that -- and he will get identified with being a doctor or an engineer or a professor. But the moment he was born he was just pure awareness; just a freshness, a clean slate, nothing written on it, not even his own signature. He had no name and he had no idea who he was.

That is primal innocence, and that is our ultimate. Our ultimate being is before thought and after thought. Not that it disappears when thought is there, but it becomes clouded -- just like the sun surrounded by too many clouds. When there are dark clouds, it appears as if the sun has disappeared.

We never lose our ultimacy, we cannot. That's what ultimacy is -- it cannot be lost. It is our innermost nature -- there is no way to lose it. But it can become clouded. The flame can become too clouded with smoke, can almost be thought of as lost. The sun can be so clouded that it appears as though dark night has come -- that's the situation. We are before thought, we are while thought is there, we will be when thought has disappeared -- we are always here. But when thought is there, it is very difficult to know who we are, what exactly this consciousness is.

Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest,
Nobody does it half as good as you, baby, you’re the best.
I wasn’t lookin’ but somehow you found me.
I tried to hide from your love light,
But like heaven above me, the spy who loved me,
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight.

Nobody does it better, sometimes I wish someone could.
Nobody does it quite the way you do. did you have to be so good?
The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me,
There’s some kind of magic inside you,
That keeps me from runnin’, but just keep it comin’,
How’d you learn to do the things you do?

And nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.
Nobody does it half as good as you.
Baby, baby, baby you’re the best!

the breath of sadness
and the silence with out tears
flitter in and out the window
of many lives played and games
held so dear

she held what was left so close
most was just a mere memory
thoughts of him...
with such little energy,
even thoughts were plain,
plain and black and white
she was going now,
yet no farewell
she let her bloody hand hold a pen
"I gave you my last breath"
with that she fell,
as she fell, the silence began to scream
it screamed through the country
mourning the loss of the king's secret lover...

beneath her unmarked grave
rose a shade who strived to breathe
it meant to strike out against
those who tosed her away.
in the obscure darkness
of her lost soul she screamed
and was not heard
then upon the hill in the distance
the great king rode in his colours
enraged the shade flew forth
and slew him with her taint.
blinking she opened her eyes
and found her self a he,
in side the king living as he did
whispering to himself she said:
"so here i am, alive atleast"

The King bewildered replied,
"My love..."
he trailed off, entranced by this beauty
it was truely clear
that all her pains
and every scar
were left behind with the tragedy
with this angellic trance,
the king fell into the silence
silence had become silent once more

riding on he felt her pain
and was pained to admit
that he was also she
like to minds frozen into one
like romeo and juliet always wanted to be

I took Cyans personality quiz! , and I turned out to be Edea

Who am I to you?...
My gaze is restless
What an effect love has on me!
Don't stay quiet; tell me at least this much:
Who am I... who am I to you
So many times I stopped myself, beloved
but at last, I had to speak
Why do you enter my dreams?
Who am I... who am I to you
My gaze is restless
What an effect love has on me!
It is a constant worry; don't ask me
who I am... who I am to you
How shall I tell you of my heart's desire?
Read my face sometime
The blush on my face may tell you
who I am...who I am to you
Without you, what is life? What is there to live for?
Without you, what is life?
How can my life go on without you?
How can I go on living without you?
The nights are longer than centuries;
the days pass more slowly than millenia.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
In the evenings, loneliness wakes (in me).
I'm missing you;
I feel like I'm dying;
you are tormenting me.
In this heart memories of you clamor.
How lonely I am without you!
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
The things I'd imagined for us!
The dreams I'd embroidered!
The many things my heart hoped for!
The desires that stirred in me...
Storms pass through this heart of mine;
without you, I manage to neither live nor die.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.
How can my life go on without you?
How can I go on living without you?
The nights are longer than centuries;
the days pass more slowly than millenia.
Come back to me! my heart is calling.

"mr Jones" - counting crows

I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this
yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-
haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
I wish I was beautiful
So come dance this silence down through the morning
Cut up, Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dances
Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes
Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me."
Smiling in the bright lights
Coming through in stereo
When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely
I will paint my picture
Paint myself in blue and red and black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
Gray is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play
Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standing in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely
I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different
reasons for that
Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe
Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio
Yeah we stare at the beautiful women
"She's perfect for you, Man, there's got to be
somebody for me."
I want to be Bob Dylan
Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more
funky
When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as
funky as you can be
Mr. Jones and me staring at the video
when I look at the television, I want to see me staring
right back at me
We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why
and we don't know how
But when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just
about as happy as I can be
Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars...

the last three weeks have been weird. I've been away from home, in a different country, a different continent. I've been here before, so many times, arriving with a smile and leaving with a frown. All the time. Except for this one. Arrived with a frown and i will be leaving with a smile. Am i being a typical teenager? or have i been looking at the negative side of things instead of looking at the good??? I thought i'd love it here, the snow, the cold and thinking of my beloved. What i have been doing was thinking of my beloved (how can i not?) and of course, missing him. Lifes not the same without my friends, without appreciation for nature. The fact is, i really love ireland. I've become to attatched to the ways of that country, i've become irish. But i don't understand, coming from an Indian family, being brought up the indian way, i'm meant to be both. I guess i can't fit in anywhere. I don't belong. No matters. India is home to me. Ireland will always be there, be my home. At home things are...well, homely. Home is where my heart lies.....

At a recent conference in Oxford, an extraordinary man
by the name of David Hawkins was one of the speakers.
This small frail -looking man in his seventies was
an absolute inspiration. His voice, deep strong and booming,
seemed totally out of place with his frail stature.
But it was clear to see, it was his strong spirit he
identified with. He was not his body, in fact he was hardly conscious
of it.
As a child he was caught in a snow drift and was floating above his body, ready to
leave, when the rescue team found him. He watched, as his father was beside himself because his son had stopped breathing. David did not want to see his father so upset so he decided for his father's sake, he would breath life back into his body.
He himself was really not that fussed, he was quite content to move on.This lack
of the fear of death has given this man a quiet confidence and knowing that everything is all alright with the world, it really is all to purpose. He has no doubts! He seems to be much more aware of the bigger picture than the rest of us.

The centrepins for a strong sense of spirituality

1. Is knowing that we are just energy, and energy cannot be destroyed, it only changes form. We don't die, we change form.

2. That everything is unfolding as it should. It might not be the way we want it to be, but it is unfolding the way it needs for our growing.

There are books out there that have been written about people and their
out of body experiences and you can get a flavour, but to be in the energy of someone
who has had an near death experience is a whole new ball game.
The total lack of fear was almost tangible.
The no doubt was heart warming and awesome, an experience that will stay with me
for a very long time.
David Hawkins has written three books
"Power vs Force". "The Eye". "I"
This was the subject of his lecture. I was so caught up with the energy of this remarkable man, and I'd be hard pressed to recall all the details of his lecture.

http://www.ipu.ie/Public/PubLinks/hospital.pdf

http://www.chineseastrology.com/wu/index1.html

http://www.chineseastrologyonline.com/Default.htm

http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/Default.htm

www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/matchmaker.htm

www.findyourfate.com

I have a problem i can't explain. I like the reason why i should be so confused. I have no reason why it shoud've been so plain. No questions, no excuse. I know..no. I don't know how i feel when i'm around you. I left a message but it's not even a small bit of use. Today you saw me and I saw you. We acted like complete strangers. Am i what i was anymore? Or am i merely a stranger. "leave me alone" you said. Fine.
I know..maybe i don't know, (leave me in my confusion..) how i feel when i'm around you.