so
not going to say anythign snide or what not.
Just cause its a waste of time.
I mean well, nothing I say in here matters anyways.
So.
last night
I wasnt online cause I had Sushi Night.
Yeah, I know, i didnt tell anyone.
But really
Half the time no one tells me when they arnt going to be online.
So meh.
Tonight.
Employee party.
Yes, I am going.
I'm going to have fun too.
And no, i'm not expecting anything when i get back.
I never do.
Also.
Been doing alot of thinking.
I have all these doubts about myself.
And I look at why I ahve them.
And I keep thinking its my loss right?
But its not.
I mean look at it.
I'm a pretty decent looking guy.
I'm honest, I dont lie, i keep -every- promise I make.
I dont cheat, hit, yell, snap, and ony time I curse is with jokes/pvp.
I'm not spiteful or mean, i'm great with kids, cleaning, cooking, hard working.
So really.
Its not my loss.
So..yeah.
I have new confidence and selfesteem.
It was never my fault.
It was never my loss.
I look at all my friends.
And at how many of them are dating PoS's.
And I laugh.
because many of them do the whole
" I wish my boyfriend/girl
And then do the whole
" Your so nice."
And I you know what?
Its funny.
Because people are willing to date a PoS for "love" rather then love.
People are quiet frankly amuzing.
Story of my life.
Its mind boggling.
How people will treat people.
Turn around
And treat others differently.
very mind boggling.
If you cant
For some unknown reason
drive within five miles of the speed limit.
Get off the fucking road.
We dont want you on it.
And we dont want you risking our lives.
because of your stupidity.
That is all.
Once upon a time...
Could you forget?
It cannnot be fathomed.
how important it has been to me.
For this to have been happening the last two days.
Yes..a dream wa skilled, and its really hurting me.
buuut.
I'm getting something else.
Something that is rare for me to get.
So.
I'm happy. <3
Now, i jsut have to fear losing it again. ><
Hm.
I'm making a prediction.
Let us see.
*mythical voice*
Good day to you sir.
Good day to you sir.
How do you fair today sir?
I'm fairing quite well today, yourself sir?
I'm doing rather swell sir, thank you for asking sir.
Not a problem sir.
Have a nice day sir.
Have a nice day as well sir.
.>
<.<
I'm bored.
I'm lonely.
And have low selfesteem.
Yes, I talk to myself! xP
And evidently, I'm rather politeness to myself as well.
Though.
This sir buisness has me worried.
I'm not yet old enough to be called sir.
Thank you very much.
Clever distractions are clever.
So.
Yeah.
*sighs*
Just a wonderful week yeah?
Fuck, this year has been -wonderful-
Shit, the last few -years- have been.
Something I've been looking forward to.
For a freaking year.
Will probley enver happen.
But then.
I doubt any of you care.
*sighs*
meh..oh well right?
To miss your best friend, to wonder if you are thought of fondly by them.
To hope for a day you could hang out again..
A dream I dream alone.
Anywho.
On a side note.
Nothing today thats happened.
I predicted.
meaning a good day.
On that scale.
Soooo...
I was caught off guard.
Twas fun.
Also, nearly getting hit by a dumbass truck driver.
Yeahhh...
Have to love that.
sometimes we walk this life with no one at all.
And sometimes when we are walking alone.
We forget to reach out.
And take the hand of the person walking beside us.
I'm pissed.
Throughly.
Fucking.
Seething.
Jokes.
Fucking jokes.
And lies.
All of it.
But hey.
I'm not important.
So, why should anyone feel bad
About treating me like shit?
Hope you all ahve a great life.
Don't let me down..not today. Please not today.
I'm taking up a new path in life. No longer am I just going to be shoved around. I will shove back. if I feel like I'm being taken for granted, or advantaged of, I'm going to say something about it. I have a spine, its high time I st...art whipping it out and hitting people with it. ( trinity blood ref for the win. )Read More
In other words.
A big fuck you to those who treat me badly.
I'm not the only one who needs ot change.
You all do as well.
Clean up your act, start giving me some respect, and stop treating me like shit.
Keep it up.
and I will leave.
And you will never see me again.
The choice is fucking yours.
Here.
There.
Everywhere.
Under here.
over there.
Somewhere.
Nowhere.
Who to go too.
When to go.
Where to do it.
And why not now?
Right side up.
Left side down.
Back it up.
Now turn around.
Who do you go too?
When nothing makes sense.
Who do you talk too?
When you cant speak the sense.
Giberish is what you speak.
Nonesense is what they hear.
Unable to understand.
Who do you talk too?
It gets all sorted.
Twisted into thorns.
Dreams become nightmares.
Nightmares become reality.
When do we wake?
To find things not so scary.
how do we know?
What to do.
to not lose thsoe we love the most?
Its a choice we face.
Every second of the day.
How do we do it?
Knowing we could fail.
Who?
When?
Where?
Why?
Here.
There.
Over where?
What to do.
How to do it.
And why is it so?
Not that it matters.
But.
I'm going to go watch Gilgamesh.
Wow O.o
I have to be tired.
I'm actually enjoying Robot Chicken.
I dislike this show so much but...
i cant help but laugh. ><
Why? Why whyw whyw whywhwywhwywhw
*sighs*
So wish I hadnt read that.
*headdesk8
Cant...fucking sleep.
i just want eace
I do...I want it so badly..
I want to feel like I mean something
to be...treated better then I ahve been.
Not...last resort or..second thought or..
i dont knowjust want to sfeel lilke I mnean somehting again.
Cant i have peace?
please...
Peace..and love, and a little affection just..
something to have..
I wont be sleepingtoingh
ciant..
*slumps down and sighs*
i give up.
I guess there is no point in hoping right?
stupid stupid me.
Was so hoping too.
I really..really was.
i mean, its happened once before
why..why not again?
*sighs*
I had it all...and I lost it all.
So, I give up hoping.
I'm done.
I'm out.
I..don't care anymore.
if I don't care, I don't hurt.
and to be honest...
i'm tired of hurting.
And having no one to talk to about it.
Okay so.
HTML.
is starting to piss me off.
more so then I am now.