I'm not going to care anymore.
Because its not worth my fucking time or energy.

Pity the nice guy.
Because he always finishes last.

Feeling really fucking bitter.
And I'm hating myself for it.
So fcuking much.

Makes me laugh it does.
Makes me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG41_ZCEQyY

Tell me that song isnt sexy

Soaring higher and higher.
Climbing closer and closer.
Moving ever nearer my goal.
I will rule the cosmos someday.
I wont be content with the simple mans life.
King of the universe?
Please.
I was thinking God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDD12j2Dd5g

I <heart> that song.
Because A.
I can sing it.
Because B.
It feels like my life at times.
Because C.
Its No Doubt/Gewn.
Its win.

No, I'm not happy.
No, I'm not in a good mood.
Yes, I'm leaving.
And yes, I may not be coming back.
I have no fucking reason too.

Correction.
I'm happy with life for a most part.
Its just really hurting, and upsetting.
How you can go from being treated really well.
To being treated like the after thought, replaced, not very important friend.
Shelfed? Replaced? unwanted?
Yes, I feel it.
friendship is a two way street.
And i'm the only one who is fucking walking on it.

Okay.
That made me smile.
it really did.
Anywho.
So yeah.
Hm.
What to do tomarrow...
what to do...
*looks at sketch book*
I should finish Anne's picture.
So i can mail her the present..
*wanders off to find sketch pencils*

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Guess I'm just that good eh?
Yeah.
thank you.

so
not going to say anythign snide or what not.
Just cause its a waste of time.
I mean well, nothing I say in here matters anyways.
So.
last night
I wasnt online cause I had Sushi Night.
Yeah, I know, i didnt tell anyone.
But really
Half the time no one tells me when they arnt going to be online.
So meh.
Tonight.
Employee party.
Yes, I am going.
I'm going to have fun too.
And no, i'm not expecting anything when i get back.
I never do.


Also.
Been doing alot of thinking.
I have all these doubts about myself.
And I look at why I ahve them.
And I keep thinking its my loss right?
But its not.

I mean look at it.
I'm a pretty decent looking guy.
I'm honest, I dont lie, i keep -every- promise I make.
I dont cheat, hit, yell, snap, and ony time I curse is with jokes/pvp.
I'm not spiteful or mean, i'm great with kids, cleaning, cooking, hard working.
So really.
Its not my loss.

So..yeah.
I have new confidence and selfesteem.
It was never my fault.
It was never my loss.

I look at all my friends.
And at how many of them are dating PoS's.
And I laugh.
because many of them do the whole
" I wish my boyfriend/girlfriend werent ect ect"
And then do the whole
" Your so nice."
And I you know what?
Its funny.
Because people are willing to date a PoS for "love" rather then love.
People are quiet frankly amuzing.

Story of my life.

Its mind boggling.
How people will treat people.
Turn around
And treat others differently.
very mind boggling.

If you cant
For some unknown reason
drive within five miles of the speed limit.
Get off the fucking road.
We dont want you on it.
And we dont want you risking our lives.
because of your stupidity.
That is all.

Once upon a time...

Could you forget?

It cannnot be fathomed.
how important it has been to me.
For this to have been happening the last two days.
Yes..a dream wa skilled, and its really hurting me.
buuut.
I'm getting something else.
Something that is rare for me to get.
So.
I'm happy. <3
Now, i jsut have to fear losing it again. ><

Hm.
I'm making a prediction.
Let us see.
*mythical voice*

Good day to you sir.
Good day to you sir.
How do you fair today sir?
I'm fairing quite well today, yourself sir?
I'm doing rather swell sir, thank you for asking sir.
Not a problem sir.
Have a nice day sir.
Have a nice day as well sir.

.>
<.<
I'm bored.
I'm lonely.
And have low selfesteem.
Yes, I talk to myself! xP
And evidently, I'm rather politeness to myself as well.
Though.
This sir buisness has me worried.
I'm not yet old enough to be called sir.
Thank you very much.

Clever distractions are clever.