is this life a faded dream
for nothing is what it does seem
the past few yers i have tried
i have failed but have not cried
no tears have tricled down my face
and no tears shall ever replace
the one that has me torn apart
the world and its blackend heart
so try to piece together now
sit and wonder when and how
when did my life come crashing down
and how was my smile turned to a frown
but for this rddle you need one word
the one still waiting to be heard
that one word that touched my hips
and poured through my bloody lips
it kept me going when i was dead
its source ran through my lifting head
love the word was to be my fate
and with love i overcame all hate
but soon the fates held in thier hand
my love, and they do now cut the strand
i feel you slither from my grasp
you fallaway and i do collapse
that is when it all began
when the world did shout and i did ran
i ran away from all things known
i ran just to be alone
i ran and my life did change
into hate and uncaged rage
disgust ran through my coarsend lips
and love no longer touched my hips
love your face was erased with time
and i no longer call you mine
Love when you died unfaithful i became
and now i no longer dare to dance in the rain
instead i swaer i curse i drink
i throw up all life in the kitchen sink
i forget love what you taught me true
and try sometimes to remember you
the way your hair was to shade your eye
the way youd make it ok to cry
i miss the way you used to smile
the way youd ask to stay awhile
but if you saw me now would you even recognize
for i now wear a most crafty diguise
for i wish to hide my past
and want none to know you were the last
     THE LAST ONE  ACG
 just something to add to yesterday i kinda was upset and unable to think clearly plus it probally did not help that it was 2 AM in the mourning

death is only a simple part of life it is only the passing of our soul into another world. at least that is what i force myself day after day to believe. living here on eath is not a perminant place i must remember that i am just passing through. but if i am only passing through why do i hurt as much as i do?
  the reasons why i hurt are on myself and is my burden that i must carry
i should not have let my gaurd down and begin to feel for this man. i should have been careful as to not fall in love
for now all i can do is think of him and wish to linger in his precence that is forrbidden in my house. pain is horrid. but it shall pass