adoption. some people would be so scared to talk about it. why? well... today i found out more about my past, some which im dumbfound of. I found out im not really born here, i was born in vancouver. vancouver BC... im not sad about it, just felt odd how i thought it was in kelowna... then how i was actually in a foster home when i was first born.

fasincating about my bio isn't it? well you dont hafta read the rest you know. you didnt even need to read the bit as it is.

Then came tonight, where my parents said i might not even be able to see my biological parents. I thought why. they said it was because they might already have kids, or maybe a new spouse. how would they react to that? how would they accept me? how would they tell there family about me? that might be why i may never see them. its odd really, i wont know what happens until then. im not sad, and im not happy. this is my life. i like it. my parents gave me a home, im smiling.

1. What is your fear?

Spiders, big time. I used to hate as a child and still do. They're just...kreepy cant stand em. I'm also afraid of being alone. not like being in an empty room, like when no one cares bout me =P

2. what is your greatest talent, besides writing and drawing, if any?

*bursts out laughing* like i have ne? jk. i dunno, maybe playing the piano or the sax. but I'm no expert thats for sure
0_o someone told me to say this, not me! i'm not egotistic! they said i was a great friend and that should be on here... i dunno, you decide =P

3. What type of sports do you do?

Ummm...I never really got into sports... I usually get enough from my friends playing outside as it is. But i do go to Karate, does that count?

4. What's your fav. food?

Oh wouldn't you like to know! hehe, I LUV CHINESE FOOD!!!

5. What do you like in general?

Thats an easy one! ^^ i like writing, drawing, being with friends, and food. Lots of food.

6. Well what do you hate/dislike?

Lots of things. Rude people, homophobes, prejudice people. load noises, onions and my internet.

7. How did you get that name Sashu?

hehe... actually it was when i played this PS2 game...mortal combat i think. and i saw this character as a werewolf. when i clicked on the thing a voice said something that i think was "Sashu" so i found it to be neat ^^'

8. Whats your dream vacation?

This took me awhile to think about. i'd like to go to lotsa places! Puerto Rico would be on the top of the list. then...ummm... i dunno, maybe a road trip! that would be the best :D

posty things!



^_^ yay, my friend made this for me!


heres another one

deppression: an annoyence?

I try so hard to tell people advice, when they're down, or depressed. and i know they are going through a hard time, i do my best to cheer them up. but i dont get it, why do they try so hard to stay down? it's so easy to look on the darker side of things, and eventually they get deeper and deeper into depression. if they actually tried, almost barly try, to smile and be optimistic. im not saying to be mr/ms smily 24/7 but just to stop groping around. life just then might feel easier. maybe if they open up with their problems to other friends, they might get the comfort they really need. i'm always willing to listen, and i'll do everything to help you, i mean it. i try so hard to help... and i feel so ignored, so i hope this journal entry might help. i hope you, the reader, might see what i try to do...

as you can tell, my b-day was over due, so i'm making this diary entry to tell ya about it. even though i doubt any of you readers really care =P I got all my friend's to meet up at this irish restaurant (me like irish) and such. i only got books @_@ one was a manga called xxx holic, any1 ever read it? and the second one was a "how to" book for manga n drawings stuff...kinda cheap since two of them paid for the one item...i dunno if thats a hint to get better, or encouragment... then i got $20 for tim hortens :D lol more coffee for me! my paretns on the other hand have decided to help pay for my driving lessons, wont that just be scary?
my friend keeps on saying the waitress was hitting on me, so i am obligated to post this on here. i really am blind when someone flirts with me...lol she did call me cute though, made me blush to a whole new tone of red. and then she bought my dessert...i dunno...lol i sound egotistic but my friend told me to post this or she'll claw my eyes out ^^'

oh! wait! i found something to write about! even though it was 5 seconds after the last post. I REALLY wanna see what that manga "gravitation" is all about. i here its yaoi, so it caught my interest =P anyone else heard of it? or how about an easier question, anyone of you peoples acually READ manga? tell me if ya do ^^

I haven't used this diary for ages ya know... then again who'll read it? here's you routine:

Me: *writes diary*
You: *recieves notice of diary* "Look, he wrote something thing... ... ..." *deletes notice*
Me: *ignored*

It goes somewhat like that, right? lol

dodged the bullet!

We, me n my parents, ha the "talk" and i was placed as innocent! but i'm not limited to two hours a day... like they'll keep track when they're not home! HA! well i'm just happy my parents arn't murdering me...before the "talk" my friend offered me a knife for protection! A KNIFE!!! he thought it was gonna go that badly...

I might be done for soon! my dad found me on this wiki, GKG, and well... it stands for guys kissing guys. so now me n my parents are going 'to talk' and discus it. i'll just say i clicked on the wrong thing and left. but my friend, Josh, was laughing about my parents reaction. He said my dad will walk out with a rocket launcher in one hand and a shot gun in the other. he wears a red head band and army clothes. and a shirt that says "I hate homos". with 6 knives in each boot... sadly if he knew... i think he would 0_o

whoa, i just realized i made 1065 meassages! THATS ALOT ...i don't mean to be so social either...lol

It's kinda sad...I feel so alone at times, i just want to run away and be forgotten, forget about all my worries and problems...But i know its just too good to happen, it just feels like my life is useless, no one cares if im gone tomorrow, I just want to be forgotten

=P i just found out I have ADHD! it means attention deficate hyperactive disorder. no worries, it just explains why i never pay attention, fidgit with things, have suddon bursts of energy, stay up all night, and maybe even the mood swings. maybe thats why my parents gave me those pills wen i was lil...wow lol

HELP!!!

my friend asked me out again, and yet she doesn't have a clue that I'm gay! and she had a crush on me for three years, so i didn't want to hurt her by saying no, but i know i'll hurt her in the long run, so yeah...back in the closet for me=( o well, maybe i'll find that someone soon.

I don't get it, people would reather give up hope n commit suicide, why? I guess some people can't see the optmistic side on things, well, except when people die. But really, they should cherish what they have, not what they want. I just wish people would realize that theres more to life than hoping that death will sweep them away someday. Friends are what really changes the world, I just hope people discover that thier friends are helping them. "I have no friends" you say? what about your family, theres always someone out there loving you, maybe you didn't find that person yet, but soon. So come on, go up to your friends and say thank you, they've been by your side all along, maybe they should say thanx to you too.