okalie dokalie... again with the sappyness,,if you dont wanan read it then leave now.....

ok anywho.... i was sitting here today... simply looking at a picture of Dan....when i realized, that i reallly really do love him. i meen i started crying just thinking about him. hes my world, i love him. i really really do. i meen i cant immagine where id be without him now, and the only thing i really fear anymore is losing him, i think i would seriously kill myself if i were to lose him. Because he is simply perfect, and i can get my mind off him, i dream abouthim at night, and i cant pay attention in school or anywhere because im to busy thinking about him, and how wonderful he is. i just wanna be with him for the rest of my life, i dont even need to look around and see my other options...he is simply perfect, and everythign i coudl ever ask for. i meen, he once asked me if i beleive in soul mates, and i replied yes. Now i know that he is my soul mate, i was put here to be with him. i want to be with himevery second of the day. I just want to be held by him, to be so close to him that i cant even move, for him to hold me so tightly that i cant breath. when i kiss his lips and just feel so secure,m i know that everythigns gonan be alright as long as hes here. i love him so much i dont think i could even explain it to you, i just want to lay by his side and never get up, i want his arms wrapped around me for the rest of my life, i want to feel his soft skin rubbing up agenst my own. i just want him, forever. i meen, this is my fate, i just feel like im supposed to be with him, like no wrong can happen when i am, everythign just gets better. i love him so much, and i hate that i cant be with him every second of every day, i really wish i could. because this isnt something that comes on and then leaves my mind in time, its always there, im constently thinking about how much better life is now that hes in it, i meen, i dont even know how to explain it. i love him, and thats all i can say....

Well lets see... humm ive already enterd in here today, but i dont really care, if you dont wanna listen to me then leave now..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................OK then! So anywho... life is really getting harder by the day, no one really understands what im feeling. im feeling so fucking confused to like, everything, and it never seces to amaze me, whats areound the corner is never anything good. im simply another fucked up insecure nerotic emotional freak from a psycho town where most of the people are fucking clones of jenifer Aniston and freddy prince Jr. not in the sence that there all drop dead gorgious and perfect in every way,. but in the sence that they all try to be perfet, flawless little whores who cant see past the mirror images of themselves around every corner to see that there all the same. I cant remember the last time i went in to school and one of the so called "popular" people actuily talked to me. i meen im deff. not complaining because i hate them just as much as they hate me, but still. my school is fucking staryotypical, and i hate it. they think that just because someone is different that they have to be shunned, ignored, and fourced to a point close to suicide from lonlyness. i hate all these little whores who think there better than me and my world because they are 94lbs, have dyed blonde hair, fake blue eyes and act like there flawless. newsflash, YOUR NOT BETTER THAN ME you just havnt had rough times in your shelterd lives yet. i hate those fucking sXe kids ho lecture me about fucking drugs and alcohol, maybe thats my way of escaping this fucking hell hole, maybe i do need them. maybe i depend on them to get away. maybe you shoudl mind your own fucking buisness and let me fuck up my own life if i so choose. But most of all i hate cocky little assholes that try to change the world. baby, you were put here to die, not to make a difference. i hate how you freak out at every simple mistake i make, yeaah maybe i cant be better than i am, maybe i dont want to, maybe im perfectly happy with the psycho fuck up i am, maybe your the one whose not good enough, finding your own insecurities and trying to fix them on others instead of your fucked up self. i hate it, more than i hate life. now all you staryotypical assholes can shove all your pansy ass comments up your loose assholes and leave me alone, you dont wanna talk to me, if i wenrnt me, i wouldnt wanna talk to me either, so i dont fuckin blame you, otherwise though, to all my friends..... hope ya had funand i luv ya! lol

As The Days Pass Slowley, All I Know Is I Want You To Fill My Life Forever...

im a fucker and i heart dan because hes so damn sexi and i wanna fuck him

im bored... school started the other day..... theres this new kid justin.. hes hott. Humm what else goees on? dance tonight... im not goin though..... ya

o wow.... ummm well then i get to go to water safari tomorrow.. how exciting! YAY lol! i like this guy on et.... 2 bad you cant find out who it is! o and this time its not brandin.. lol poor brandin.. i still luv ya hunni! lol fun fun thats all

i'm so confused!!!! I've liked this guy for a long time now... and im just not sure, hes a year younger than me and i pretend i like his brother so he dosnt think i could be interested in him! but heres he likes my best friend.. and she likes him! i was hanging out with them untilll 10 tonight and he was totally hitting on well both of us and i didnt know what to do! he asked me if i was a virgen i said yes and he didnt beleive me! i like him so much but i cant do anyhting about it! my friend said she would back off but i told her not to because they like eachother and hes a great guy and she deserves him, but shes got a b/f but things arnt working out between them! i really like this guy though! i hate this! i hate life why do i have to be me.. why all the confusion and pain?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It hurts so bad.. and i wouldnt say im mad just upset i guess.. knowing that ive liked him for so long and it is so painful! i really dont know what to do! he is younger than me and everything but i dono i guess just knowing that ive liked him and hes liked my best friend i dono its like one of those things that you think only happen in movies.. but its not! well @ least i can be friends with him!
~ALLY~