Well, i think i might need to change my mind about abortion. I never thought about it personally, i always thought of it happening to someone else, but when you think about it... i wouldn't want my child to be killed...

By Myself

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride / from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I / sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I / try to catch them red - handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can’t hold on / when I’m stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I’m lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again

by myself [Myself]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

[Myself]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I
Turn my back I’m defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then they’ll
Take from me ‘till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer

[by myself]
[Myself]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself
[Myself]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

How do you think / I’ve lost so much
I’m so afraid / I’m out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
Don’t you (know)
I can’t tell you how to make it (go)
No matter what I do, how hard I (try)
I can’t seem to convince myself (why)
I’m stuck on the outside

How do you think / I’ve lost so much
I’m so afraid / I’m out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
Don’t you (know)
I can’t tell you how to make it (go)
No matter what I do, how hard I (try)
I can’t seem to convince myself (why)
I’m stuck on the outside

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking...

Here's a song that expresses what I'm feeling right now.

Linkin' Park
One Step Closer

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
All these words, they make no sense
I've found bliss in ignorance
Less I hear, the less you say
You'll find that out anyway
Just like before
Everything you say to me
Take's me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

I've found the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts. they make no sense
I've found bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before
Everything you say to me
Take's me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Take's me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to
BREAK (echo)

Shut up when I'm talking to you!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up when I'm talking to you!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut ... UP!
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to
BREAK!

Well, i kept my promise to [Kitiara], i got some sleep last night, although when i logged on to elftown today at school i found out she left. well, im gonna get to the bottom of all this but it would really help if someone WOULD TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob Parkhurst: I want to see how a war is foght, so badly.
Captain Edmund Blackadder: Well, you've come to the right place Bob. A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, high cheif of all the vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

Black Adder Goes Forth
======================================
"Now, this may sting a little just at first. But don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in." Ethan
Buffy the vampire slayer
======================================
"I hate wizards"
Morik the Rogue
======================================

Will Turner: In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: Then that's not much incentive to fight fair then, is it?

Pirates of the carribean
======================================
"Baldric, you wouldn't know a cunning plan if it painted itself blue and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singin "cunning plans are here again!"

E. Blackadder III
======================================
"There's a fine line between foolishness and bravery, too bad it isn't a fence"
======================================
Buffy: Have i ever let you down?
Giles: Should i answer that or just glare?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
======================================
"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"

Anonymous- Famous Last words
======================================
"I don't need assassins, I have dragons."
Andrew
======================================
"If you want something done properly, kill Baldric before you start."

Edmund Blackadder, Esq
======================================
Angelus: "All the more reason to use a certain amount of finesse."
Spike: "Bollocks! That stuff's for the frilly cuffs-and-collars crowd. I'll take a good brawl any day."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
======================================
"The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked."
Stephen, Braveheart
======================================

A poem written by my good friend Sam, it's for his girlfriend.

my love for you is poetry,
pure and unyielding,
like the heavens from whence you came.
rivers could not be used to explain my love for you,
for they are uneven in their flow,
where as my love is constant,
ever growing, ever true
I love you

By HSA

This is my favorite poem, pay special attention to the very first and very last lines.

In The Pouring Rain
In the pouring rain, I stood alone,
The rain soaking through my clothes, chafing off my skin.
But right before that you dropped the bomb,
You told me you hated me and never wanted to see me again.

The rain soaking through my clothes, chafing off my skin,
The lightning cracked, the thunder boomed, yet I stood there,
You told me you hated me and never wanted to see me again.
But I still love you and always will.

The lightning cracked, the thunder boomed, yet I stood there,
I start to turn around and walk away,
But I still love you and always will.
I will wait for you, there is no other for me.

I start to turn around and walk away,
When I hear my car speed right by,
I will wait for you, there is no other for me.
I stop and look at you, but then you pull the shade shut.

When I hear my car speed right by,
But right before that you dropped the bomb,
I stop and look at you, but then you pull the shade shut.
In the pouring rain I stand alone.

Here are some poems that i have written, enjoy

Alone in Winter
By Brett Marrus

It is wintertime,
All white and blank.
Everywhere you look.
Snow blankets everything.
Even my heart,
For it too is covered in snow.
For in wintertime I adapt,
To block out the happy couples
Walking hand in hand
Down the street.
For I am alone.
Alone like the last dinosaur,
The last of his kind.
So alone that I must cry myself to sleep,
For then I realize, I truly am,
Alone.
======================================
Countless ways of Looking at War
Brett Marrus

Among the war-mongered lands,
The only peace,
Was among the buried dead.

A man and a woman,
Are one,
A man and a women and a war,
Are three.

Blood crept through the trenches with chilly warmth,
The shadow of death passing overhead,
Silenced the weakened.

At the sight of a bayonet,
In the hands of a fearless soldier,
Even the most courageous turned coward.

Without fear there is nothing to live for,
Therefore the fearless soldiers are the most dangerous
That is what we train our soldiers to be,
How terrible are we.
======================================
Emptiness
i sit here feeling the emptiness of my life
inside where i should have a beating heart
i only have a void,
the void of a black hole where it is completely empty
except for you,
my one and only
======================================
Like Before
Why can't things be like before?
Before you uttered those fatal words,
"let's take a break",
You might as well take my heart and break it into pieces,
Why can't it be like before?
When you and I would do anything for each other,
The love I thought I felt,
Was just an illusion it seems,
Now I will go and leave you,
I won't look back,
I'll start a new life, one without trust, love, or
Stupidity.
Do you see what you've done?
Are you happy now?
I can never love again,
All because of you,
Why can't things be like before?
======================================
Valentines Day, The Worst Day Of The Year
Valentines Day, The Worst Day Of The Year
Valentines Day,
The worst day of the year.
Why? You ask,
I'll tell you why.
Because when you see the couples,
And all the love between them,
And you're all alone you feel,
Depressed.
You feel the emptiness and wonder,
What's wrong with me?
Why doesn't anyone care?
Where is that damned someone?
Then you think that maybe, just maybe,
You don't deserve one,
Maybe you're doomed to be alone.
When you look around on Valentines Day what do you see?
You see the couples and not the lonely ones like me.
And there is your answer to why,
Valentines day is the worst day of the year.
======================================
War, The Curse Of Mankind
Soldiers lying on their blood soaked backs

in the hazy smoke covered battlefield,

Watching their close friends being cut down,

And as they lie there waiting for death,

They wonder, how can mankind fall to this?

How can we be such beasts?

And how can we stop?

As they take their final breath they are

enlightened

They learn the secret of how mankind can do

this, why we are such beasts,

And most importantly,

How we can stop,

But alas, they die too quickly,

And the secret is lost,

Or maybe, just maybe,

This is their way of showing us that death,

Is the only true answer.
======================================
Hate To Get Up
oh how i hate to get up in the morning,
oh how i hate to get out of bed,
one of these days im gonna get the guy that wakes my dad up,
and then,
im gonna spend the rest of my life in bed

Yup, %90 sure im leaving, one of the people i was most hoping wanted me to stay doesn't. i should have figured, oh well, whatever, fuck it

I'm probably going to leave Elftown, as much as i love it, there is too much damned depression, and stress. i dont kniw, if i do leave it wont be until friday or saturday. more later

I fucked up big today, really fucked up, i'm such an asshole, damnit why do i always do this? every time something is good, i have to ruin it. Kit, im really really sorry

depressed, confused, pissed, i need serious help

"Bronzer" Well, i hate to say it but im getting really tired of fighting, there is never anything good to fight, they all die to quickly. ah, well. i think i'll go drink some ale. I'll turn this over to Brett now, bye all. *Walks off to get some ale*

"Brett" *watches Bronzer walk off* Moron, anyways, i've been doing well lately. I've gotten really frustrated with Bronzer lately, he drinks all the alcohol in my house. DAMN HIM! oh well, i have to go now, time to roleplay some more. *walks off*

"I Logged on today and found that my favorite Wiki is ruined. The Blue Dragon Tavern is gone, or at least the wiki part is. I Shall hunt down the problem and it shall taste the steel of my axe!!! "

The above is something that Bronzer Axemaster has told me, yes many of you may think that I am Bronzer but really we are two seperate people in the same body. Bronzer is the person that I have wanted to be, fun, carefree, loving, and good with an axe...oh yea, he loves ale and can't get drunk. Well, thats what he says, but he can (No, Brett, I CAN'T!) Shut up Bronzer, this is my diary! Anyway, we are both dissapointed over this and we will give Kitiara all the support she needs, Kit. you need either of us for something just let one of us know. That's all for now, Good Bye. Bronzer, now you can say something.

Well, This is Bronzer here and i just wanted to say, I CAN'T GET DRUNK, sorry Brett, but you're wrong. (Bronzer, the first night in the tavern you passed out drunk) I did not!! I wanted to sleep (Uh-huh) I did!! Well, anyway Brett, We'll talk about this later. Good bye everyone, oh yea, DRINK LOTS OF ALE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

i love you

i love you prahnee. no matter what i want you to know that

i never knew that heartbreak felt this bad. i guess i never loved anyone so much as i did, as i do love her. but how coud this happen? this betrayel, this, this, i dont know what to call this, it's never hurt so bad and i know feel like shit.  someone, help me!

Damn she is divine,
i know i dont deserve her,
but how can i convince her to do better then me?

She is too good for me,
i can never make myself better,
I fear she'll stop loving me,
Even though she thinks im too good,
i'm not...

I want to fucking kill this motherfucking son of a bitch who hurt my fiance but she wont let me! what the fuck is this world coming to if you cant even hurt those who hurt your loved ones!?!?!?!?!?!?!?