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I have entered the "snapdragon" part of my life......
Part of me has snapped.......
"Sometimes we must leave the past behind us for if we linger there, we will cease to realize reality."
Quotes galore, apply to me and people I know o.O
One Vision Lyrics
by Queen
(God works in mysterious ways ... mysterious ways)
One man, one goal, one mission
One heart one goal just one solution
One flash of light, yeah one God, one vision
One flesh, one bone, one true religion
One voice, one hope, one real decision
Wo, wo, wo, wo, gimme one vision
No wrong, no right
I'm gonna tell you there's no black and no white
No blood, no stain
All we need is one world wide vision
One flesh, one bone, one true religion
One race, one hope, one real decision
Wo, wo, wo, wo, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
I had a dream, When I was young
A dream of sweet illusion
A glimpse of hope and unity
And visions of one sweet union
But a cold wind blows and a dark rain falls
And in my heart it shows
Look what they've done to my dreams
So give me your hands, give me your hearts... I'm ready
There's only one direction
One world, one nation, Yeah, one vision
No hate, no fight, just excitation
All through the night it's a celebration wo, wo, wo, wo yeah
One, one, one, one...
One flesh, one bone, one true religion
One voice, one hope, one real decision
Gimme one light, Gimme one hope
Just gimme
One man, one man
One bar, one night
One day, hey, hey
Just, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Fried chicken
(Coughs while pointing to last line) You would really expect something more deep than that >.>''
Life
The supreme irony of life?
No one gets out alive
No matter what we say
Or what we do
Deals we make
Promises we break
No one gets out alive
So take a dive
Off a cliff
Learn to fly
The key’s to miss
Miss the ground
And the trees
Row your boat
Down a stream
Under the falls
And through the dream
Dream during the day
Live during the night
Live free
‘Cause no one gets out alive
Reality
Size 36 chest
Size 24 waist
Screams perfection in your face
Perfect smile
Perfect grace
She doesn’t bend at the waist
High-heeled feet
Without shoes
On long work days, singin’ the blues
Perfect hair in the box
Take it out, tangled locks
Brush it; comb it, the same it’s not
Her body’s solid plastic
Her head is empty space
The only thing she wasn’t, was President of the United States
The perfect woman?
Ha! I think not!
She’s nothing more than a plastic robot
An imperfect dream
Not meant to be
She doesn’t even bend at the knee!
Mwahaha, my poem 'bout Barbie
hnuybj7refcdij
my day, any questions? No? Good.
damn, my headache just got worse . . .
More Proof of Our Stupidity
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(And that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: …You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Well... duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...And you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a hot or cold pack: Warning: do not microwave while wearing
(Like I can fit in a microwave)
Sure-kill rattraps: warning: do not use on any animal larger than a mouse.
(But isn't a rat larger than a mouse?!?)
Ever wonder why?...
1.) Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
2.) Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
closed?
3.) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
Lottery"?
4.) Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
5.) Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
6.) Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
7.) Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
8.) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9.) Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
10.) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
11.) When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
12.) Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
13.) Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
14.) You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
15.) Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
16.) Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
17.) If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
18.) If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
19.) Why people drive on parkways but park on driveways?
ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap-parki
3.Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
30 ways to annoy people
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophecy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make racecar noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm..... tasty!"
21. Meow occasionally.
22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
25. Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
26. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"
Mad 4 U
By: [Fox_Child]
Locked in a room
Pads on the wall
Smile on my face
Mad 4 u
Written in Pen
On white walls
Were the words
Mad 4 u
All alone
In a man-made hug
Forever I will be
Mad 4 u
Waiting in silence
Surrounded by white
Forever and always
Mad 4 u
Yeah, I was poetic for once in Lit. so voila. ^n.n^ -dances- Yeah, this really doesn't pertain to me, but it does to some of my friends
I have decided Candy Stores are plotting to end the world.
Who else would give little children different forms of sugar in exchange for pieces of metal and paper?
I bet they're waiting for us little hyper people to spontaniously combust and take the world with it.
I know because I was selling fundraising candy and my friend went psycho hyper after she bought and ate the candy.
It's a pretty smart way to take it over too.
It shall help me with my plot of taking over the world with Smiles and Daisies. =D MWAHAHAHAHAHAH
Hey Abby -adressing my puppy-
Normal People generally dont enjoy 80 pounds of dog flying at them at the speed of puppy. >.>
-killls Ashley who is poking her- MWAHAHAHAHA! BURN IN HELL! -is thinking my marvolous little quote i found friday applies here-
YAY! BREAKING POINT IS FINAL UPLOADED!!!!
http://www.fic
go there to read the Prologue & first two chappies if ya want
Tielandros , Pikabloo12 , evilAki , Fox_Rose and Bladara01 this is a must read for you ^.^
Happy ChrismaHanaQua
my friends are crazy. I took in one of my horse's cookies cause I wanted to see Kevin eat it, well he found out and wouldnt do it, but three of my other friends even after finding out what it was. -_-U