I am so confused.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Or why I'm doing it. What the fuck.

Today was a bad day.

I go through boys so damn fast, it's ridiculous. I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of liking someone, of them liking me, and then just sort of pittering out in a month because of this or that or that. Hank didn't even last two weeks!

I want a relationship. Is that such a difficult thing to achieve? It's amazing how many people will fuck me, and how many people like me, but how hard it is to have a committed relationship. Am I that crazy and unlovable?

I've turned into my mom, and I hate that, but damnit.. I need something to think about, to put my hopes and fears and love in to. And no, I can't have a puppy, damnit.

I really liked this guy. And I liked the last guy. I just don't get it.

"“a little anorexia is hot”?! are you f-ing kidding me?! i think a little bit of cancer is hot. not a lot of cancer… just a little tumor.
and you know what? if a guy told a woman that, she’d laugh and think, “not even an option.” but she hears that guys like a girl who’s nothing but a skeleton with skin and the fridge immediately goes out with the trash."

;-;

Fucking amazing band. Just.. amazing. I love the bass guitar, ung. Seriously. Check this song out on youtube, the music video ROCKS!

Title: Muse - Time Is Running Out lyrics

Artist: Muse


I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

Gnarg! I have an abnormally awful crush! I hate crushes! Especially when the stupid-ass guy I'm crushing on NEVER gets online, but will occasionally send me a cute little message and -- bgaleha!! It's just so.. onerous!

Arg.

Omg omg omg! Two new obsessions within one day!
Austin Scarlett.. Really beautiful work.. ^_^
Omg!!! Gaylord Ho! Fuck! His statues -- speechless. gnahg.

Rum is my new favourite sore throat medicine.

I love movies where the protagonist female lead gets pushed down 'cus of some flaw, but by the end of the movie she's shown 'em all how amazing she is because of that flaw. It's silly, never happens in real life, but it makes me happy. Makes me feel better about my flab. ^_^

.. Fuck.

http://xkcd.com/263/

I'd become a math teacher, but I fugging hate math.

But I do have a slightly better perspective on Math. I mean, it's the only TRUTH in everything else.

Like seriously, how many of you fuggers can understand this perfectly?

http://hypertextbook.com/physics/foundations/vector-multiplication/

Sure, if you take the time to read it all (as I have done), look up the bits you haven't heard of before (as I have done), and apply what you know and just learned to trying out the different equations, it makes sense.

But before you do all of that, you have to admit, it's a different fugging language. Without having looked anything up, would you find a significantly unhelpful reference to 'Multiplication of a vector by a scalar' funny? Didn't think so.

I'm reading a comic that, at times, is far too intelligent for me.

Yes. I admit it. I do not have a NASA level education. Fuck, I dropped out of High School for fucks sake.

Doesn't mean I'm not smart! Just that college is next year.

Anyways, it makes me inexplicably happy when I read something complicated, with mathematical signs that I barely remember from advanced this or that, and references to people that I've only ever heard of once, in a lecture from a substitute that I don't even remember the name of, and I can UNDERSTAND it and find it HUMOROUS. FUCK. YES. for me.

http://xkcd.com/85/

... Me, too.. isn't that weird? I seriously think about that ALL of the time. ^_^;;

"Christmas morning, Harry woke first, and bounded into the other bedroom in their flat,"

Me: Bounded? So, what, is Harry a deer now?
Josie: Well, his father was a stag..
Me: .. Whoa.. I didn't even mean to faux pas that one..
Us: -hysterical laughter ensues-

For the very first time, out of every book that I have read, every series that I have completed, I am content.

After four long years, and 11 thick, amazing books, I am not sad to see the end of it all. I am as happy as a clam at high tide. I feel .. so wonderful. The ending to the series was perfect. Words cannot describe - even calling it perfect doesn't do it justice.

I am.. so happy. I haven't been this happy, or any where near this happy, since last Christmas, in Romania.

God.. just.. perfect.

To anyone who has yet to read the series.. Please do. Truly amazing. Terry Goodkind, Sword of Truth.

I'm going to sleep now.

..Yay.. Just.... yay.

You know that you're crazy when, while reading a really good book, you stay up until 1 in the morning and then have to muffle your screams of agony in a pillow, to keep from waking up your parents, as something very significant happens that only someone who has read the previous books in this series 10 times before would notice.

So not freaking joking you, guys, my eyes became the size of dinner plates, my mouth opened wide, and I screamed in /pain/ of what just happened in my BOOK.

God. This book is so good.

Omg. Chapter 11 in Confessor is, like, the best. Ever. -sqeeee- I love this book! I never want it to be over!!!!!

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

While many of the soldiers were sleeping, others seemed always to be at work repairing gear, making weapons, cooking, eating, or engaged in drinking and raucous stories around fires as they passed the time waiting for their next opportunity at murder, rape, and plunder. All night long, it seemed, there were men testing their strength against one another, sometimes with muscle, sometimes with knives. Small crowds gathered from time to time to watch such contests and to bet on the outcome.

Terry Goodkind, Confessor.

Cj, Zeth, Rean, Ilie, Tanner, Hank, John, Julius, Jay, Sam.

No, NOT a list of people I've had sex with, thankyouverymuch.

How much longer until the day comes when I forget to think of you?

I pray that day will come soon, I can't take the torment.

"And I wanted to say something about your 'marriage is a little too far' comment. I don't want to be rude or anything, so I'll try not to be, but when you look at it technically - marriage is a federal thing. People can get married without a priest, preacher, etc. It's become something legal that has nothing to do with religion any more - because religion is separate from state and so on and so forth, as you well know. I'm Christian, so I don't agree with their actions, but it's not my right to tell them what to do when it doesn't involve me, or hurt anyone. This is also why I'm pro choice towards abortion; I can't tell someone else what they should or should not do, it's none of my business because I don't know them or know the choices/reasons yadda yadda. Then again, I can't say that with complete iron certainty, because there are so many shades of gray pertaining to what involves my life or the lives of the people I care about, or what hurts innocents for no good cause.

But ANYWAYS, (geesh, sorry about ranting at you!) how is it our right, anyone's right, the GOVERNMENT'S right, to restrict a couple from all the LEGAL pleasures of being married, because our religions say it's not okay, or because we find it 'gross' or whatever? It's like our government has suddenly become Catholic again or something, and that is NOT okay, we are a /free/ nation."

Just a silly, quick minute rant I sent someone. Filled with grammatical errors and probably doesn't make sense. I dun care. Muwaha. ^_^