there are times I wonder... why does that never happen for me? and this is one of those times. I should be happy, and I am. I'm just slightly confused as to how it works out that everyone else has the thing I just cant seem to have or get no matter how hard I try, or maybe I dont try hard enough, or maybe I'm doing something wrong, but then again maybe its just not time or maybe I'm just not that lucky...

there I go again, trying to explain my life away w/o any real answers... I wish I had an answer for all of these questions, cuz the reasons are running out...

Will I wake up
Is it a dream I made up
No I guess it’s reality
What will change us
Or will we mess up
Our only chance to connect
With a dream

Say a prayer for me
I’m buried by the sound
In a world of human Wreckage
I’m lost and I’m found
And I can’t touch the Ground

life quotes that we all should remember...
someone's always someone else's o.n.e.
too bad the funniest, hottest ppl in the world are complete assholes
Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them
a broken heart continues to beat
As long as there are humans there will be conflict
All of life is a wakening dream and in death is the final awakening
everything happens for a reason
eat your meat
it only gets harder the more that you know....
Don't be tricked by false memories. The past is never as perfect as you remember.
Everything's ok in the end and if it's not ok it's not the end.
one minute ur waiting for the sky to fall the next ur dazzled by the beauty of it all...
nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
"it's not brave, if you're not scared"
Sometimes given up doesnt mean your weak it means your strong enough to let go
"Love is rare...life is strange...nothing lasts...people change."
"The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time....
" The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple ."(damn straight)
You become sarcastic when you learn life is unfair.
Damned if I don't, damned if I do, It's a game I just can't win
and...
the greatest trick satan ever played was getting the world to believe he doesn't exsist

and the ultimate 2 question
r u really gonna remember to stop drop and roll when ur on fire?

you got cake?
can I have a some?

i got a dresss... yay! whooT... it'll be fine

3 days til the holocaust museaum with JULIEEEEE... dude i cant wait!

so yes... how about my grandmother is (possibly but very probably) coming to live with us, cuz my uncle is an ass, and a grumpy old man who cant deal with anyone unless he is drunk. This could mean ppl visisting me all the time to see her... I sense very much family interaction *goes to check the alchol supply*

but on the bright side I might not have to go to the actual chruch wedding. My brother has a soccer game and I would stay home with Paul so he can sleep and my mom would go with ben to the game. Then we would go to the reception and everyone else (my dad, colleen, and rose) could drive with my aunt and uncle, or my grandmother, who will be staying at my house...

but tonight i am going to middle school youth group.. WOOT! right... o well next week i wil go out... and the week after i will be fishing, which i should be doing today but the stupidheads decided to go a few weeks late... guess that's what happens when you get OLD...then comes prom....woohoo! then the demon wedding (yes-that's it's 'offical' name) then the new star wars comes out!!!! yay!! then memorial day weeknd then school's out!!!!!!! ahhhhhh!!! yes...

someone's always someone else's o.n.e.

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that

[Chorus]

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]

[Chorus]

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
^this is me...

i dont know what you want anymore
I dont even think you know
Is it him?
Is it them or them?
Is it me?
I wish I could help you but until you know, there is nothing I can do...

I dont know what to believe or who is my friend. This whole thing has me so confused, I'm running in circles and I'm not even sure I'm going the right way... Thing only thing I know for sure is that I am confused...On the brighter side I got you babe! ^_^ and I have done my part... Its up to the rest of them now...They can do whatever the hell they want to, but I'm going my way...

why does it always seem that when I am happy everyone else is sad? and when everyone, else is happy I am sad?

Highschool sucks... It changes ppl you'd never think would change. It makes ppl do stupid thngs for stupid ppl. Ppl lose themselves to someone they never thought they would be.
Well I guess this is growing up....




I'm just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

But, here I go again,

Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption, the sight of it has caught my eye.

big big big sigh.... PHEW dont have to do it.. dont have to do it with them...In all seriousness I am sooo tired of my school, everyone there is just too damn petty for their own good...

well yes then... that made me happy... but I've seen better days i love Brittany!!!!

first and foremost...one month... and still missing you babe

bill: What's your name?
Frannie: Teresa
Me: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Frannie: frannie!!

wow... another, ummm interesting, weekend. spent the whole thing out of state... and I will try to get pictures up here but I dont have a scanner so it could take a while...so ya the weekend, left on friday round 4:30 and arrived round 9:00 (dont ask how it happend) set up, ate pizza, went to sleep round 1:30-2:00, some idiot thought it would be funny to have breakfast at 7:30 so we had to wake up very early for a saturday, this caused certain ppl to be very crabby. After that we set up for the kiddies and watched them arrive, then had some random things... lunch (ewww), wandering, rode up to the workshops, did the workshop, came back, had mass, dinner (well not it was too gross) played frisbee with kristen then christian and buddy and eventually steph and ashley^_^ then the lamo dance... meh that was no fun, was chilling out on the field when it suddenly hit me that it was almost a month.. ya well anyways, after ordered more pizza, talked for abit and went to bed... woke up early again and agian passed on the food b/c it was too crappy... cleaned, watched a skit, finished, cabin checked, chilled for a bit then went to eaten park, then headed home... very eventfull, we stopped at a starbucks that had a drivethrew...wow but then we missed our exit and took like another half hour to get home, making it another 4 and 1/2 hour trip... after i got home I took a shower and went to lifeteen ^_^ yay saw brittany and all my other loves too.!

dude i dk what to do about her... she followed him around like she was attached to his ass, and everyone could tell... that doesnt bother me as much as that shes gna get burned... and it kinda makes me feel bad...sigh.. what do to? what to do?...

...some mysteries aren't meant to be fully understood some questions are best never answered...

soooo... here i am waiting for mr. A to get in gear so we can leave... sitting here doing nothing with steph and ashley b/c we dont have to leave he says....i dont wanna.... why the hell do i sign up for these things? aight well gtg be bored summore..

i love miss brittany lyn papalia!!!!!!!! and i wont get to see her b/c i am going on a secret mission all weekend with the world's most random ppl (one of whom is not brittany lyn or sexy ankles bill *_*) now i am sad... i want to stay in the burgh this weeknd... *sniffle* and I DONT WANT TO TOUCH SHEEP tomorrow... they effing scare me...please save me.. drive down to mount and kidnap me from the sheep lady...

i went outside tonight.. i should have done my history and worked out and washed and dried my hair but i went outside and never regrett it!...

i really dont want to leave.. or go to school tomro or sing in the mass..... i want to stay home like all my other friends are cuz they are cool and go to NA....i wish i did too...

last random thought: how is it all the public schools get off for the Pope's funeral? but i have to sing at school and change about 6million zillion times... ironnic?

I hate my school i really do.. ok translation... the ppl there. not all but its gettting therre. >.< who does that? that is total BS.. all i have to say is thank you very much! now I know why lotsa stuff has been happening... and why the damn faculty thinks I am a whore....all girls. all together, all the time... who's dumb idea what ThAT?

I feel like hell... thnx to my bestestest "friend" in the entire world... and my awsum life...right


parents annoy me.. cant wait til its over


ahhhhhh well yes for once it was actually sunny today WOOOT! um I should not be negative cuz this should be a happy time...but yes... OMG amazing news... on june 15 Tom Petty is coming to the post gazette pavillion!!!!!!!

parents suck... I hate my house and will be so glad to move out. why when some things start going good others start going bad???? I am tired of looking like an ass b/c of my parents. They need to learn trust me more, and the people I know....

They keep me locked up in this cage
Can’t they see it’s why my brain says rage

Sanitarium, leave me be
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Build my fear of what’s out there
And cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain
Assuring me that I’m insane
They think our heads are in their hands
But violent use brings violent plans

No more can they keep us in
Listen, damn it, we will win
They see it right, they see it well
But they think this saves us from our hell

and that would be like my house

IT"S DONEEEEEEEEEE
the evil paper is donneeeeeeeeeee

now if I can get a prom date tonight life will be good! ^_^

Genesis - That's All Lyrics

Just as I thought it was going alright
I find out I'm wrong, when I thought I was right
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all
I could say day, you'd say night
Tell me it's black when I know that it's white
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all

I could leave but I won't go
Though my heart might tell me so
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
So why does it always seem to be
Me looking at you, you looking at me
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all

Turning me on, turning me off
Making me feel like I want too much
Living with you's just putting me through it all of the time
Running around, staying out all night
Taking it all instead of taking one bite
Living with you's just putting me through it all of the time

I could leave but I won't go
It'd be easier I know
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
But why does it always seem to be
Me looking at you, you looking at me
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all

Truth is I love you
More that I wanted to
There's no point in trying to pretend
There's been no-one who
Makes me feel like you do
Say we'll be together till the end

I could leave but I won't go
It'd be easier I know
I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes
But why does it always seem to be
Me looking at you, you looking at me
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all

Just as I thought it was going alright
I find out I'm wrong, when I thought I was right
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all
I could say day, you'd say night
Tell me it's black when I know that it's white
It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all - that's
all

ya been searching for this song for forever... love it, reminds me of myself

wow last night=amazing...'brrriittttttaaannnyyyy omg omg omg *stops* omg look the window is foggy!' so ya went out with brittany, adam and glenn...yes very amusing. First we were off to kings for dinner, kept losing glenn. ya i dont think they liked us very much there. lol Kings is a Family Resturant thats why everyone stared when glenn said he was a pinko...then off to giant eagle to get a movie.... and to adam's to watch it... Finding Neverland=world's most amazing movie, when you arn't watching it with two idiots who totally do not appreciate the complere sexineesssss/hottnesss of Johnny Depp trying to act british and coming off irish...but of course watching movies with those two is piontless as, as glenn said "we'll pay attention when something blows up" so they spent the entire movie screwing with the cats using the laser pionter... (at one point brittany has laser pionter and pionts it at glenn's nuts) *glenn trying to get the laser pionter dot thingy hits himself in the nuts* "owww..." hahahahahahhaaaaa... looked at "the adventures of 50 cent through time"...then we went back out... only this time glenn was saying everything adam said except in french, which being a spanish student I understood none of, and surprising did it very well hmmm....went to wendy's and got some food, when we came out of wendys (since its next to a car dealership) glenn decided to through his burger at on of the cars in the parking lot, nice job glenn. then we went to starbucks and had homosexual time, glenn actd gay, and adam tried to ignore him, which was hard as glenn was sitting in the same chair as he was....then we went home...

yes probably the most fun I have had in weekkkksssss!!!! it was amzing...I love them 'fo liFe! lol

o yes and the pope died...1920-2005...

the pope is dying... and I am so confused as to why it is such a media issue! the media hate Catholics, so it doesnt make sense for them to get all ryled up about the most Catholic man alive... errr well barely alive, I guess. It just doesnt make sense... its not even like they're all Catholic either, they just think its so kool to broadcast the pope's death, morbid very morbid

so ya..lotsa folks been dying, seems to be the thing to do

oya sry i forgot i am supposed to be happy in these things so here you go

^_^ HAPPY?

i dont want to be here, wasting my time on this stupid paper... wasting my life away infront of the computer...I hate this indecision and how heavy everthing feels.

before school gets out...
finish my paper
visit slippery rock
get my permit (again)
learn to drive
take my license test
not be sad
be happy *goes to find happieness*
get a job
chill with ppl from school I probably wont see over break
eat healthier
do something with my hair
the steph plaque
go up Tionesta for my family's (effed up) version of the first weekend of trout season
figure out what my problem is
get a date for prom
get a dress for prom
go to prom (maybe?)
find something for the wedding
go to the wedding *goes off to start drinking in preparation*
study for finals
take finals
mend my life
get a life

oya.. frannie got suspended... for vandalizing. Nice JoB EinsTieN!....someppl are only alive b/c its illegal to kill stupid ppl..
.
How many times must I flush before you go away?

if there is a hell... I am in it...

why? why me? why the hell do I get the short end of the stick? damn... and I feel so selfish, cuz tthere are so many ppl out there with problems way bigger than me!... and I swear everytime, every single effing time, just when I think its ok, just when i get to the top, I take one more step and fall off the cliff...this is BS, life is BS... I'm sick of it sydney SICK OF IT! DO YOU HEAR ME? cuz you'd be the only one...

everything is wrong, nothing feels right anymore, I just want to start all over, leave and never come back

omg.. I'm losing it... losing myself... or maybe I just never had it

In this hole
That is me
The dead are rolling over
In this hole
Thickening
Dirt shoveled over shoulders

I feel it in me
So overwhelmed
All this pressure centerizing
My life overturned
But there than despare
All these scars keep ripping open

Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?

Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?

In this hole
That is me
A life that's growing feeble
In this hole
So limiting
The sun has set; all darkens

Buried underneath
Hands slip off the wheel
Internal path-way to contention

Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?

Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?

Are you
HAPPY

Are you
HAPPY

Are you feeling happy?

In this hole
That is me
Left with a heart exhausted
What's my release??
What sets me free?
Do you pull me up just to push me out again?

Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?

Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy?

Peel me from the skiiiiiiiiiin
Peel me from the skiiiiiiiiiin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?

Tear me from the boooooooooone
Tear me from the boooooooooone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy?

Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost here with nothing

Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost here with nothing?
mudvayne-happy?

right, *runs of to find something to kill*