This hasn't happened for quite some time.
It's odd.
And it hurts.

I was with the Nightwish Fanclub.
Sitting on a table with some friends.
Drinking.
Smoking.
And suddenly I realized what the feeling was.
I felt alone.
Like in some silly music video.
I watched them talk and laugh.
I watched them move and live.
And everything seemed to be in slow motion.
I put on my headphones and I felt away from them.
I could see them.
Feel them.
Yet...
I was alone.
I wasn't to be there.
Although they perswaded me to stay for a while longer.
I stayed.
One more cigarette time.
No one talked to me.
i had nothing to say to anyone.
I was alone.
In the whole fucking bar, full of familiar faces.
Alone.

I haven't felt that way for some time now.
Not so strong a feeling.
You get hurt.
You just want to die.
When.
This dreaded feeling.
Comes.
To take you away.
To slam you to the wall.
To rip your heart out.

And memories don't help.
Memories.
Of times forgotten.
Of days of joy and love.
Lost.
Nevermore.
Nevermore.

I don't even know why I'm writing this.
I'm sure no one will read it.
And if you do- bravo.
That means you're curious enough.

But, honestly- you don't need me, do you.
I'm just a face.
Some letters.
Some words.
A nick.
And nothing more.

You don't need me.
I'm sure.

Why.
Why do I write this.
It really doesn't matter.
I doubt anyone cares.
I doubt it matters.

You, dear reader, do you even know me?
Are you a friend?
Someone who was just passing through my house?
Or maybe a foe?
Do you even know what I'm talking about?
How I feel?
How it hurts to try to be there for everyone.
But when you try to tell everyone you're hurt, you feel like an idiot.
Because most of them don't care.
And the ones who do can't help you.
Because they have problems of their own.

And you- you know who you are.
If you're reading this.
Stop fucking with my life.
Our life.
We suffer enough without you.
Hmpf... Whatever.
Try harder.
See if I care!

God.
I feel alone.
I'm talking to people online right now.
And the feeling's still here.
Alone.
So fucking cold.
And so fucking alone.

No one's there.

My current <poll:46329> results.

If you know me- read this.

I want to die.

This too

Sick of Life

<<Godsmack>>


Paralyzed. Nothing's getting through to me.
Hypnotized from all my surroundings.
I wanna be something I could never be.
I wanna say things that I could never say.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!

Sick of my life. I'm tired of everything in my life.

Dragged down. Rubbing my face in the ground.
No time for the undecided.
I wanna know why I've always felt alone,
I wanna love. Why am I untouchable?
Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!

Sick of my life. I'm tired of everything in my life.
I never wanted to be sick of my life.
I'm tired of everything in my life.

Trippin'

<<Godsmack>>

Written by: Sully & Tony

Living a different way. You can't expect me to be the same.
Separating our lives and wondering why.
Face down I walk away. Every time I think I do the right thing,
you turn your back on me.

Trippin' into a world that never seems too far away.
Too much time, too many wasted days.

How can you be this way? Now I'm alone and cold today.
I'm walking dead man's drive. Reaching out for my life.
I've been known to fuck up everything.
In this skin there's a broken man.

Trippin' into a world that never seems too far away.
Too much time, too many wasted days.
Just another vision in my world!