[Jino "ChaoS" Silver_flamE]'s diary
Законите на Мърфи с положителен знак.
1. Не се вземай на сериозно.
2. Внимавай на какъв се правиш, защото такъв и ще станеш.
3. Мий си зъбите редовно.
4. Внимавай какво си пожелаваш, защото мечтите се сбъдват.
5. Купи си евтино жилище в скъп квартал, а не обратно.
6. Да знаеш, че има Господ.
7. Винаги дръж в гардероба си един строг костюм за погребения.
8. Слагай си колана, когато шофираш.
9. Пълни ваната първо със студена вода, а после с горещата.
10. Най-добре се ожени по любов.
11. Ако трябва да избираш между този, когото обичаш и друг, койтo те обича - избери втория.
12. Не си купувай евтини очила, дори и слънчеви.
13. Най-добре изобщо не пуши.
14. Знай да се храниш правилно с нож, вилица и клечки.
15. Когато си в компания на видимо по-богати, не говори за пари.
16. Научи се да се ориентираш по карта.
17. Имай винаги пари за такси до в къщи.
18. Ако не ползваш дреха или вещ 2 години, махай я.
19. Ако имаш нещо излишно, не го хвърляй, а го подари на някого.
20. Не забравяй празниците на роднини и приятели.
21. Не закъснявай.
22. Не се срамувай да плачеш и да се смееш.
23. Казвай на любимите си хора, колко ги обичаш.
24. Купи си къща с басейн и камина.
25. Учи повече езици.
26. Дръж се прилично.
27. Гледай някой хубав футболен мач на живо.
28. Иди на концерта на любимата си група.
29. Разбери, че ученето е най-добре положения труд.
30. Не се занимавай с глупости.
31. Прави нещата с любов, иначе няма да станат.
32. Научи се да пишеш писма.
33. Не се страхувай, че ще те набият.
34. Виж колкото можеш повече места по света.
35. Не се самоубивай.
36. Няма нищо невъзможно, само някои неща са невероятни.
37. Не започвай с наркотиците.
38. Не си купувай обувки, ако ти стискат още в магазина.
39. Не тръгвай на дълъг път с нови обувки.
40. Не карай пил.
41. Научи се да казваш "не".
42. Поздравявай пръв.
43. Другите не са лоши, а различни.
44. Не прави секс с жени, по-грозни от твоята.
45. Никога не води любовница в къщи.
46. Не работи на едно и също място с жена си.
47. Не позволявай да ти свърши батерията на GSM-а през деня.
48. Не започвай вечерта с "една малка", винаги свършва зле.
49. Напий се един път, да видиш от какво патим.
50. Вземай заеми и винаги ги връщай.
51. Не сядай в компания, ако не можеш да платиш цялата сметка.
52. Не си мисли че остаряваш и поумняваш, само остаряваш.
53. Вземи си куче и си грижи добре за него.
54. Не пресичай на червено.
55. Плащай си данъците.
56. Не позволявай да те манипулират.
57. Запомни, във всеки договор най-важната точка е как може да бъде прекратен.
58. Играй с децата си, докато можеш.
59. Не давай мнение, ако не ти го искат.
60. Различавай познати от приятели.
61. Не се качвай при пиян шофьор.
62. Научи се да готвиш.
63. Не се страхувай от големите разходи, а от малките приходи.
64. Не харчи, а инвестирай.
65. Пази се.
66. Не си мисли винаги най-лошото.
67. Казах ти, дръж се прилично.
68. Не вярвай. че винаги стaва въпрос за пари.
69. Не си мисли, че знаеш един език преди да си решил поне една кръстословица на него.
70. Не вярвай на очите си, а на сърцето си.
71. Хората не лъжат другите, а само себе си. После са искрени.
72. Не се ядосвай за неща, които ще си забравил след половин година.
73. Посади дърво. Широколистно.
74. Прави дребни подаръци без повод.
75. Не очаквай благодарности за добрината си.
76. Не можеш да се харесаш на всички едновременно.
77. Научи се да изслушваш хората.
78. Планирай си успеха, иначе си планираш неуспеха.
79. Използвай презерватив.
80. Не позволявай детето ти да те вижда пиян.
81. Ходи с чисти обувки.
82. Купувай си стойностни и скъпи вещи, макар и рядко, а не евтинии.
83. Вземай важните решения, след като преспиш една нощ.
84. Признавай си грешките.
85. Научи едно хоро и едно танго.
86. Не лъжи, че си болен. Ще се разболееш наистина.
87. Не пий хапчета без основателна причина.
88. Всички болести са от нерви, само половите от удоволствие. Внимавай с тези две неща.
89. Не обещавай нещо, което не зависи само от теб.
90. Казах ти вече, дръж се прилично.
These are "Murphy's Laws with a positive sign"... I'll translate them later...
1. you must talk on and on about things that are in no way interesting to the people around you and argue with them that they're wrong even though they dont give a shit.
2. you must wear clothing you've seen other people wear, all the time. If at all possible, find a cool person and latch yourself to them. *Warning* suctioning yourself to their backs is not advised!!!
3. It always, ALWAYS helps to have your name be Tony, it's not a requirement but it will help you in then long run.
4. Never do drugs, you don't want to get in trouble. Instead, smoke light cigarettes only at night while repeatedly saying, "this is some good shit..."
5. Whenever possible, talk as much shit as you can, preferably around bigger people who have an obligation to save your ass. *warning* if you have no bigger people available,have a fast car or scooter!!!
6. As soon as you can, purchase a pitbull and use it to intimidate your enemies until it bites your left asscheek off, then quietly have it put down. Then claim he died during a dogfight in the ghetto.
7. After getting a job at Mcdonalds, pay a somewhat attractive 15 year old girl to go out with you and claim she is your hunny who no one can have. when she dumps you and moves to another state, tell everyone around you that she couldn't handle the size of your penis.
8. If for any reason you get fired for being a sloppy idiot, or there is not enough beer or money in the world, search online for attractive pictures of latino women to keep in your wallet in case for any reason, you need to show your homies your bitches.
9. ALWAYS meet your homies at a designated spot well away from your home, the last thing you need is to have them witness your mother beating you with a frying pan for eating all the brownies.
10. Wear baggy clothing only, such as, shirts big enough to use as parachutes, hats big enough to slip down over your eyes (it's mysterious), and pants that sag to at least your knees, if you're really a rebel, you'd only wear underwear on mondays.
11. Wear white shoes only, if you get dirt on them never hesitate to hide from your friends in an alley and lick them clean if need be. *Warning* Don't cry!!!
12. Get used to being pushed, it happens a lot. Stand in front of the mirror at home and practice an overly passive face until it looks like you're stoned or have been propped up against something after death. *warning* Don't cry!!!
12. Always keep your Brittney Spears albums hidden under a board in your room or even better, bury them in your backyard where the poodle won't dig.
13. When you to the club, ALWAYS remember to never dance, instead, lean against the wall with your arms folded and occasionally nod your head to the beat. If a girl should approach you, agree to dance but simply stand there with your hands on her hips while she grinds until she gets bored and wanders away. *warning* Don't Cry!!!
14. Get silver or gold braces or fake teeth as soon as possible. If you lack the funds for such a thing, use silver or gold spray paint.
15. The last and most important rule, many Jackasses have fallen here, no matter what happens....Don
P.s.: [Morrigon] gave me permission to post this here. Thanks, dear!
end fucking racism!!
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that
he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a
white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not
allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
//Pass this on and help erase racism//
GO EducatE YourselveS! NOW!!! ^_^
http://fun.doo
WelcomE TO MY WorlD
Written about Sunday 2005-04-17
Written: (7159 days ago)
DuE TO MY MuM TakinG ThE KeyboarD AnD MousE OF MY PC, I'M NoT GonnA BE ON SO OfteN AnD FoR LonG PeriodS OF TimE.
This hasn't happened for quite some time.
It's odd.
And it hurts.
I was with the Nightwish Fanclub.
Sitting on a table with some friends.
Drinking.
Smoking.
And suddenly I realized what the feeling was.
I felt alone.
Like in some silly music video.
I watched them talk and laugh.
I watched them move and live.
And everything seemed to be in slow motion.
I put on my headphones and I felt away from them.
I could see them.
Feel them.
Yet...
I was alone.
I wasn't to be there.
Although they perswaded me to stay for a while longer.
I stayed.
One more cigarette time.
No one talked to me.
i had nothing to say to anyone.
I was alone.
In the whole fucking bar, full of familiar faces.
Alone.
I haven't felt that way for some time now.
Not so strong a feeling.
You get hurt.
You just want to die.
When.
This dreaded feeling.
Comes.
To take you away.
To slam you to the wall.
To rip your heart out.
And memories don't help.
Memories.
Of times forgotten.
Of days of joy and love.
Lost.
Nevermore.
Nevermore.
I don't even know why I'm writing this.
I'm sure no one will read it.
And if you do- bravo.
That means you're curious enough.
But, honestly- you don't need me, do you.
I'm just a face.
Some letters.
Some words.
A nick.
And nothing more.
You don't need me.
I'm sure.
Why.
Why do I write this.
It really doesn't matter.
I doubt anyone cares.
I doubt it matters.
You, dear reader, do you even know me?
Are you a friend?
Someone who was just passing through my house?
Or maybe a foe?
Do you even know what I'm talking about?
How I feel?
How it hurts to try to be there for everyone.
But when you try to tell everyone you're hurt, you feel like an idiot.
Because most of them don't care.
And the ones who do can't help you.
Because they have problems of their own.
And you- you know who you are.
If you're reading this.
Stop fucking with my life.
Our life.
We suffer enough without you.
Hmpf... Whatever.
Try harder.
See if I care!
God.
I feel alone.
I'm talking to people online right now.
And the feeling's still here.
Alone.
So fucking cold.
And so fucking alone.
No one's there.
My current <poll:46329> results.
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LosinG ClosE FriendS
Written about Tuesday 2005-01-18
Written: (7248 days ago)
If you know me- read this.
I keep wondering howcome the world around me still accepts me.
All I leave behind are ashes.
Yet the wing takes them and turns them into snow.
Why?
I do not deserve all my friends.
They do not deserve a curse like me.
They keep baring me, eventhough I keep hurting them.
They take the ashes and treasure them, as if the fire's still alive.
Yet it isn't.
My allconsuming darkness spreads.
I burn and scorch and scar everything, everyone.
Yet they keep on.
They don't give up.
I've been evil, I've done wrong.
Yet my friends are all around me still.
I don't deserve them.
But they believe otherwise.
Howcome?
Why?
It makes no sence to keep a being like me as a friend.
I keep hurting all of you.
Yet you're still here for me.
Even those of you who hate eachother unite in order to protect me.
To keep me.
Why?
It makes no sence.
You don't run away.
You don't hate me.
After everything I've done.
I've said.
I bow to you.
I thank you.
!!!HappY!!!
<<GodsmacK>>
I am your spoken truth
I am the lies in you
I'm gonna make you shine in everything you do
I am your lighted way
And I'm your darkest day
I'm here to help you see you can rely on me
Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I wanna be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
I am your peace of mind
Confusing all your time
I'm running through your veins, I am your pain
I thought by now you'd know
I'll never let you go
It's time you recognize I am the devil's eyes
Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I wanna be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I wanna be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
(Background)
(Death will come when I'm good and goddamn ready)
Take me by my hand
And let me show you what I am
I'm taking control again
Now I know I can
Take you back to where it all began
'Cause I am
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I wanna be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I wanna be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready