ET: Member blog

[The all powerful Midori]'s diary

857674 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-09-28
Written: (6630 days ago)

Next in thread: 857753

Ok my History teacher told me this really funny joke today and I thought I'd write it down cause its so damn funny and the best part is that its totally true (it happenned to his cousin). I'll narrate it the way he did (*clears throat):

Ok I have this cousin who came to visit my grandfather once. And my grandffather, he's this guy who likes to make pipes. I mean, seriously, pipes made litterally out of wood. He spends his winter evenings just whittling away, and then he sells em off to tourists for five bucks easy. So anyway, my cousin wanted to visit a club or something (which, in this small town, is like a sort of pub). So he goes off, has a beer or two withhis friends. And then this hooker comes up to them-- except they dont know she's a hooker. So she goes up to them and asks them if they want a "pipe" which is slut-slang for blow-job in that town. But my cousin didn't know that- heck he didn't even know she was a hooker! So he sais: "How much do you chanrge" and she's all like "50 bucks" so my ousin says "50 bucks? Forget it, my grandfather does 'em for five bucks"! ahahahaa.......
..........................

....well, I guess you had to be there.........

853184 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2006-09-16
Written: (6642 days ago)

Next in thread: 853185

Picture this. A teenager dressed in black walks into a college school cafeteria. He could have easily blended into the crowd and no one would have noticed him, except people do notice. They notice and they fear because in his hand is a fully charged rifle. He is holding this rifle up, pointing it, with a maniac gleam in his eye. Before you can run, blink, breath, he pulls the trigger. Poeple duck and scream. People run, but bullets are being fired and sure enough, some people are bound to be a little less lucky then the rest. Finally, officers arrive on the scene and the killer gets a bullet in the arm. His mission having been completed, he puts the gun to his head and fires.

It sounds morbid, but its true and it happened in a little place called Montreal Canada in Dawson college barely a day ago. It was scary because you get home from your stupid little life, not knowing that while you were chatting in the cafeteria with your friends, only miles away poeple were running for their lives. 20 shot, one dead, 3 in serious conditions. The worst is that the people you can see on TV escaping Dawson campus, they could be people you know. Every parent is waiting by the phone, trying to get through to their sons and daughters cell phone. Its really unnerving and its sad that it takes something like this to make everyone realise just how precious life is and just how badly something -or someone- can go wrong.

850852 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2006-09-09
Written: (6649 days ago)

I think I've become a writer. I got this offer that I'd like to accept, but I dont know if I have the talent. So I tried my hand at writing a quick story to see how it'd go. If you're reading, let me know if its any good, wontcha?

Jack

He sits on the street corner, pale as death, rocking back and forth. He stares into space as he thinks about Jack.
Jack was amazing. He had always been full of life, he worked hard, was honest and never had problems with his temper. Didn't he? No, Jack never had those problems. Smirking, the youth grabbed at the familiar sweater pocket where he always kept his stash. Empty. It was always empty these days. He shuddered. He needed some now and fast but where? Passerbys did what they were named after and just kept passing. He was part of the street corner, he was invisible, he was-- Dammit he felt like his fucking head would burst if he didnt get some soon! He rubbed his palms together as white mist clouded from the slight openning between his lips. It was cold, too cold. But once he was high, it was like the cold disapeared. Everything disapeared, his pain, his memories, Jack.
Jack...he'd had it all. Good grades. A good girlfriend...didn't he have a girlfriend? At the time it seemed so. It was hard to remember the dude sometimes but Jack was always occupying a small place in the back of the youth's mind, wavering into view every now and then. Mostly on days like today, when he was desperate for a joint.
Suddenly, he caught sight of a familiar face. A badly shaven man, black matted hair and an all-around shady complexion sauntered inconspicuously into an alley, not far from the youth's habitual street corner. That guy would have something for him! Pushing Jack to the back of his mind (what happened to his girlfriend anyway?), he slunked over to where the black-haired drug dealer had disapeared barely seconds before.

The alley was dark making the man almost indistinguishable in the shadows. Approaching causiously, the youth glanced around nervously and addressed the man in what he hoped was an off-hand manner (he had stuffed his trembling hands into his pockets so they wouldn't give him away): "So...so you got what I'm looking for?"
"Says who?"
The man was leaning on the hard brick wall in the alleyway, a cool amused smile playing on his lips.
"Come on man! I know you got it! Just... just hand it over ok? And we won't need to get rough..."
The man barked a laugh. "You 'ain't in no condition to get rough, my man". He grinned, eyeing the trembling pockets where the youth had stuffed his sweaty palms. "You got any cash on you?"
The youth tried to control his rising frusteration. "Do I look like I got fucking cash on me? I'll pay you back, fuck, just give it to me!" He wen't to grab the man's collar menacingly, but the man was too quick. In a second, he had the youth's hands in an iron grip. He was no longer smiling.
"Yeah? And how many debts you got already, kid?"
The youth said nothing. Jack would've never gotten himself into a mess like this.
"Ok, listen up", the man said, releasing his grip slightly, "I might be able to help you out." He pushed a small satchet in the youth's chest. "For now, I can let you off. But I expect to be paid. Soon", he paused. "And go easy on it. You feeling me, kid?" The small smile was back.
Mumbling thanks, the youth stumbled from the alley, clutching the satchet as if it contained a part of his soul. Jack wouldn't be in a situation like this, he kept thinking. Jack had been smart, funny, he hadn't been a miserable dope sniffer. Jack had had a good life ahead of him...
Suddenly, he dropped the satchet. As he clumsily fell over to retrieve it, cursing, a small chain fell from his pocket. Stopping, plastic bag in hand, he picked up the chain and examined the lcoket he had examined so many times before. He didn't need to open it; he knew what was inside. A picture. A picture of a girl. Her hair was mousy brown and her eyes were slightly too far apart but to him, she was beautiful. There was a note too, which he knew by heart: "I'll always love you Jack, Amy". Amy. Why did he let her go?Jack wouldn't have let her go. But Jack was gone. Vanished, poof! Only to be replaced by this pathetic junkee. The youth bitterly shoved the locket back into his pocket. Amy. Where was she? Does she... No, better not think about it, he thought as he sat down behind a dumpster, fumbling at the knot in the bag. Jack was dead and he wasn't coming back. So long Jack , he thought, and sniffed.

838690 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2006-08-14
Written: (6675 days ago)

I ahve a theory of why god created man first. He wanted human to be powerful and have a strong body to survive in the wilderness. So, he created man (Adam) with his strong muscled, tall build and lasting supply of testosteronce. But then, he realized, that without intelligence, how would man be able to stay alive for the rest of time? So he was obligated to create woman.

835970 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-08
Written: (6681 days ago)

5 stages of accepting death :
D~e~n~i~a~l--"This cant be happening"
AnGeR--"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *losta crying*
[Barganning]--"Why couldn't it have been me?"
TDepressionT---*more crying*
aCCEPTANCE--------------

810896 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2006-06-19
Written: (6731 days ago)

Well everyone seems to be writing in these things so I'd figure I'd give it a try. Dont see why you would possibly want to read about my unoriginal life....anywho!

One more exam before schools out! Oh god FINALLY! I just did the most dumb exam of my life. I go to a french school so I understand the english exams should be easy but COME ON PEOPLE! They had questions like

"Mary and John got hit by a bus. What did Mary and John get hit by?
Was it
A) a tractor
B)a bus
or C) a lawnmower"
I wish Mary WOULD get hit by a bus...., but it gets worse.
"John recycles paper but Mary doesnt like to.
Write S if you think they have the same opinion
Write D if you think their opinions are different"
I think I had more challenging exams in grade two. Not to mention there werent any Marys and Johns to exasperate me. Then again, I shouldnt complain....at least I know I'll pass ONE of my tests ;-)

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