Last night at precisely 12:30 AM I made rice crispy squares for the first time in my life. Only one problem: I'm sorta retarded in the cooking departement. I don't even LIKE cooking. But my mom's brillant boyfriend who's a royal pain in my ass just thought it would be nice. I thought it would be nice, mom thought it would be nice, we all thought it would be nice -- until I realised I was supposed to be making them.
I should add that he's the type of macho dude that does all this guy shit and thinks women should cook and clean while men go off to work to bring home the dough(except me and my mom are exactly the opposite of this...WHY she decided to date this buffoon is beyond me...)So anyway, I figure, ok, I'll make his stupid squares and let it be done. But yeah, I think if he knew how they would turn out, he would have made the damn things himself lol. Haha it was funny. There wasnt enough marshmellows in the mix so they just kind of crumbled and the ones that did turn out good werent exactly what you would call "square". More like rice-crispy-de
But you know what? After all that toil in the kitchen, it was worth it just to see his face do this sort of eye-popping thing when he saw my abomination. It put me in such a good mood, that I made muffins too :D
The Other Rant (and behold, it rhymes! Haha not giving up on poetry yet)
Where have all the smart people gone?
The children of intellect, philosophy's spawn?
Are our bachelor's degrees wasted on the obtuse
Our scholarships squandered on those with no use?
Our community lacks in spirits of strife
Wasted on all those damn people with no life
Who think their problems are the core of the world
And don’t bother to watch bigger problems unfurl
Their speeches consist of monosyllabic words
And making a sentence is a task yet unheard
They sit on their ass and complain about naught
And worldly affairs hardly give them a thought.
Where its easier to join a stereotypical group
Instead of letting your true person take root
A moronic world filled with labels and games
Who cares about self-worth when there's money and fame.
Socrates and Einstein, abandoned in a whim
For retards like Justin who think sexy is him.
Too bad J-T, you're not worth a buck
I'd rather shoot myself then have you to fuck
Is this the result of society's reign?
Where the bigger the breasts, the smaller the brain?
So to all you idiots, in Hell may you burn
Cause we need all the space for intellect's return.
Story for Halloween (no title cause I was too lazy hehe)
She drew the bedspread up tightly as he snuggled under the warm covers. She always lovingly tucked him in after the traditional One-more-story
Sleep was very far from catching him however.
The last residues of the pleasantly warm indestructible feeling of Mommy's presence was evaporating into thin air and Charlie couldn't help feeling a chill despite the many blankets bombarded onto his tiny 6-year-old body. He was live bait, waiting for his closet predators to jump out and swallow him whole.
Charlie snuck a peek out of the corner of his eye towards the ominous crack of his closet door. Still, the closet was separted from him be several feet of carefully carpeted floor which would give Charlie the time to scream, call for help, invoke his protective shield that had left the room only seconds before. Really, it was the one under the bed he was worried about.
Cocking his head to one side, his eyes open so wide, the veins popped, he listenned for any sound of movement. Was that the rustle of leaves on the trees right outside the window? Or was it the sound of something putrid smelling, hairy creature slithering in the unkown basement of his bed? There was no way for Charlie to know for sure. No way, except for him to listen and wait ...and worry.
***
He could smell the fresh scent of lavender soap: the result of a late bathtime. What a bummer. Soap tended to ruin the sweet taste of child flesh on the tongue. Succulent flesh...the best part. Mashing the tender organs between his lacerated canines. Sucking on the juicy bones for dessert! The scent was driving him wildly onward, waking the hungry beast inside his stomach. He wanted to rip, to tear, to kill that little shit who huddled in bed. Best of all, he could smell the sugar-coated terror as it wafted down in billowing clouds, its aroma sending a pleasant tingling sensation down his many spines. Yes, you better be very afraid, you little pathetic twat, 'cause soon, I'll be using your clavicle to pick your skin out of my teeth.....
***
Charlie's whole body was wrapped tightly in tension. A barely audible grunting sound could be heard and Charlie knew it wa coming. It was going to eat him up! He was pressing himself so hard against his mattress, he was almost afraid he would fall through right into the jaws of whatever was in hidding. He shut his eyes tight and tried to block out the repulsive slathering noises issuing from underneath.
......Go away......Just leave me alone......You
Too busy caught up in his mantra, Charlie failed to see the clawed hand, creeping up along the side of his mattress.
***
Yes...The little shit was within his reach. Only a little further and he would be feasting on femurs before long. He could feel the need for killing burning his insides, tearing him apart. Quick, grab the throat! Do it...NOW!!
A savage snarl erupted through his throat as his claws tore through the air.
***
He suddenly saw them. Reaching up along the side, three shiny human shish-kabob sticks aimed at his face. Spurred by horror, Charlie lunged out of the way just as three nails swipped through the air, stabbing his pillow. The fingers wriggled menacingly, expecting to feel warm blood and skin particles instead of torn linen and coton. This gave Charlie the opportunity he needed. Doing what every kid does best, he bared his small white teeth and dug them as hard as he could into the green mass, tearing a chunk away. Dark purple liquid gurgled form the bite mark as a wailing screech shook the whole bedroom. Gripping his ears, Charlie yelled: "Mommy!! Mommy!Mommy!!!
***
My first poem! It rhymes and everything. It just doesn't make much sense =_=;; Oh well, I tried....
SCORNED LUST
Her cavalier in plates of gold
Mounted on his steed of white
Alas denial grips her tight
Choking love inside its hold
On wings she'll rise if will agrees
Bound to earth by chians of doubt
Wings are burdens, feathers molt
Death to birds whose will doth freeze
Pretty maiden with golden hair
Whose presence defines beauty so
But blindness be her greatest foe
That shalt lead her to greater despair
Mind speak but ears cannot read
The sorrows the heart tries to share
He turns his shoulder on beauty fair
Her love, still waititng to be shed
Feathers gone now turned to dust
Inferno of love, now parted
She grasps the chance long departed
Hence the fate of scorned lust.
A thousand sparkling lights, mirrored from the giant disco ball, gyrated around the room as loud music propelled from the speakers. Big speakers for a big sound which made sense because since it was prom night, everything had to be big and loud and sparkly. Girls in their pricy dresses clustered around their tuxedo clad beaus, most sure that they were in love. As the music picked up to a Madonna tune, poeple started to get up on the dancefloor, the guys being reluctantly dragged on by their overeager partners. All those guys who didn't have dates stood moodily along the wall, conversing in low tones about how their mothers almost forced them into dad's embarrasingly bright mauve outfit from HIS prom night.
Laurie stood among her buddies, having a great time. Well, almost. But she couldn't help glancing around every few seconds looking for a person she knew probably wouldn't show up. Of course he wouldn't show up, he wasn't the type who'd spend cash on a tux just to stand around doing nothing. He would probably stay home, in the confort of his home, maybe having a few beers with other friends who didn't bother to show up either. She glanced around again. She'll never learn.
"Who're you looking for?" Steph, her friend, questionned. "You've been doing that for the past fifteen minutes".
"Hmm? Uhh...just thought I saw someone I know, thats all". Something seemed to sag in her as she continued to dnace with her friends. Her hips were swaying with a little less gutso then they had moments before.
Glance.
No sign.
Glance.
Still nothing.
Beating herself up mentally for being so obsessed, she willed herself to concentrate on the music and the laughter of her friends and not on the person whose appearance would stay absent.
(to be continued later when I can be arsed to)
Ok my History teacher told me this really funny joke today and I thought I'd write it down cause its so damn funny and the best part is that its totally true (it happenned to his cousin). I'll narrate it the way he did (*clears throat):
Ok I have this cousin who came to visit my grandfather once. And my grandffather, he's this guy who likes to make pipes. I mean, seriously, pipes made litterally out of wood. He spends his winter evenings just whittling away, and then he sells em off to tourists for five bucks easy. So anyway, my cousin wanted to visit a club or something (which, in this small town, is like a sort of pub). So he goes off, has a beer or two withhis friends. And then this hooker comes up to them-- except they dont know she's a hooker. So she goes up to them and asks them if they want a "pipe" which is slut-slang for blow-job in that town. But my cousin didn't know that- heck he didn't even know she was a hooker! So he sais: "How much do you chanrge" and she's all like "50 bucks" so my ousin says "50 bucks? Forget it, my grandfather does 'em for five bucks"! ahahahaa......
..............
....well, I guess you had to be there.........
Picture this. A teenager dressed in black walks into a college school cafeteria. He could have easily blended into the crowd and no one would have noticed him, except people do notice. They notice and they fear because in his hand is a fully charged rifle. He is holding this rifle up, pointing it, with a maniac gleam in his eye. Before you can run, blink, breath, he pulls the trigger. Poeple duck and scream. People run, but bullets are being fired and sure enough, some people are bound to be a little less lucky then the rest. Finally, officers arrive on the scene and the killer gets a bullet in the arm. His mission having been completed, he puts the gun to his head and fires.
It sounds morbid, but its true and it happened in a little place called Montreal Canada in Dawson college barely a day ago. It was scary because you get home from your stupid little life, not knowing that while you were chatting in the cafeteria with your friends, only miles away poeple were running for their lives. 20 shot, one dead, 3 in serious conditions. The worst is that the people you can see on TV escaping Dawson campus, they could be people you know. Every parent is waiting by the phone, trying to get through to their sons and daughters cell phone. Its really unnerving and its sad that it takes something like this to make everyone realise just how precious life is and just how badly something -or someone- can go wrong.
I think I've become a writer. I got this offer that I'd like to accept, but I dont know if I have the talent. So I tried my hand at writing a quick story to see how it'd go. If you're reading, let me know if its any good, wontcha?
I ahve a theory of why god created man first. He wanted human to be powerful and have a strong body to survive in the wilderness. So, he created man (Adam) with his strong muscled, tall build and lasting supply of testosteronce. But then, he realized, that without intelligence, how would man be able to stay alive for the rest of time? So he was obligated to create woman.
5 stages of accepting death :
D~e~n~i~a~l--"
AnGeR--"NOOOOO
[Barganning]--"Why couldn't it have been me?"
TDepressionT--
aCCEPTANCE----
Well everyone seems to be writing in these things so I'd figure I'd give it a try. Dont see why you would possibly want to read about my unoriginal life....anywho
One more exam before schools out! Oh god FINALLY! I just did the most dumb exam of my life. I go to a french school so I understand the english exams should be easy but COME ON PEOPLE! They had questions like
"Mary and John got hit by a bus. What did Mary and John get hit by?
Was it
A) a tractor
B)a bus
or C) a lawnmower"
I wish Mary WOULD get hit by a bus...., but it gets worse.
"John recycles paper but Mary doesnt like to.
Write S if you think they have the same opinion
Write D if you think their opinions are different"
I think I had more challenging exams in grade two. Not to mention there werent any Marys and Johns to exasperate me. Then again, I shouldnt complain....at least I know I'll pass ONE of my tests ;-)