loooong entry

thinking about music


Making the decision to focus on school work and music is hard, and it's taken a lot of time to do this, but I believe that outcome will see me as a "fitter happier" me. {<-reference to an inspiring song by Radiohead.} The thing is the only things that seem to be getting me anywhere lately are this new thing with the band that me and Justin are working on, and i say "working on" because it definetly is a work in progress, and school work because I can map out the progress I've made and see what all the hard work is doing.

It makes me so excited though to see the amount of support my friends and aquaintances are giving. Like last night I was asked AGAIN! to play this song we're writing, and it seems as though our band, which basically at this moment consists of only two guitar players without a name has already gathered for itself a tiny fan base! I can't believe it. The song, though is progressing strongly is in dire need of a hell of a lot of work and we're open to suggestions. The fact that we are actually doing this is a dream come true for me! In the future I can only guess to what this is leading to.

I 'm getting ready to play at a show in a few weeks! It's the first time I've ever played publically and so stumbling blindly into this is frightening, but exciting. The song I'm singing rocks my socks and I hope everyone else will like what I've put together. I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm ready for this and whatever comes after and so I'm forcing myself to conquer this mountain of fear that has restrained any talent I might have. Playing in the band has helped. So that's what I'm up to. Hopefully this show doesn't turn out to blow or I may have to retire form my non existent singing career. Anyway. Back to practice!

peace !

I'm upset because the sun has gone away. Sometimes I stand out in the cold and feel the heat of it, stronger and stronger each day and know that the spring is comming. It makes me excited. When I think of the summer I know that this life is worth living . I come alive in the summer.
 Last night I bought some acid. I can see it sitting on the window sill in a tiny sparkling vial.
 Doing acid makes me excited
 In two weeks I'm going with Evan to a rave in Hamilton. There is nothing like the feeling of thinking of these things. If we can't go I think I might cry.
 Now I'm going to go and smoke in my green room.

 Watching the seasons change

It seems I leave for a time and then return. well now Im back again. Cnt promose Ill stay....
Life is cool. I need $5000 dollars Any Ideas? Im buying an appartement! Moving out man.
Im talking to this guy who is in love with me. Fuck off you people!!!!! I cant stand it.
Contemplating the future makes my head hurt.
Im going to go smoke some shit. brb
ooook now Im high so....
I'm supposed to go hang out with Darren. Hmm what should we do today???
Yesterday I went to King street and talked to Lynsay and Summer about shit. Im going to go sing in their cafe!!! Soon Im going to start selling the clothes I make on here. THat'll be cool

Wow I have been gone a very long time now, but I am back. I have been looking at some very enlightening photographs on the internet by a lad named JakeHOwlett I insist all of you photogrphy lovers out there to check him out because he is amazing. This guy sent me a message saying that his friend thinks Darren is hot. {refer to the pic on my main page}
I had to agree. He is amazingly georgeuos. Now I will stop gushing about my bf as you are all probably tired of it and not interested.
So life is neat. Its hard trying to be an aspiring artist. I think Im going to try and pout some of my stuff for sale on the web but that may be hard and a subject for further contemplation. As i have nothing left to say I will say this
goodbye

Yep nursing myself after a most amazing weekend. Went to see Seven Sided Animal on saturday and man can those guys play. Then slpikot on sunday which as no words to describe. It was amazing, but too bad about Killswitch. Ohwell.

Yep nusing myself after a most amazing weekend. Went to see Seven Sided Animal on saturday and man can those guys play. Then slpikot on sunday which as no words to describe. It was amazing, but too bad about Killswitch. Ohwell.

Need a way to make these days more exciting. Like yeah its not bad. Its just that its not like amazing everyday. Its always the same thing. This weekend is going to be...hoe do you say it? AWESOME!!! Im not going to let it be anything otherwise. Maybe thats the problem. Do i expect too much out of life? I dont believe that is possible. But like school is really really a drag. How do people enjoy schoolwork??? I dont know.... Thinking of this makes my head hurt

a message for unicycle ryder who says my messages dont make sense ;)

ok then lets start over.
tell me abut something you're into or something you did today.
ill tell you a story about things im into. after work today i went to my friend johns house and saw him for the first time in two months. he just got back from a trip to europe. my friends and i are into a little bit of drugs too, so we smoked up and he showed me pictures form athens, greece and italy and france and we talked about things like trip my bf are gonna take in two years to italy and stuff. do you know the band slipknot? well theyre playing around here in a few weeks so we talked about that and we talked about new years.
then my two little friends came and listened to us and john wrote some songs up in europe. now we're both musicians, we both play the guitar. so he played for me and then i started singing and it was the most beautiful moment.
then we watched l led zeppellin cd.
k this was probably a strange message but you asked for soemthing different. i dont know its just my life
lol
dani

Im finding a way to be independant of these people. I need a release, an escape from their clinging emotions. I came here to get away from them, my father and brother. I came to this place of solitude. I had to force my way in...
I opened the door and mt mother came into the room. She was wearing a house coat and in the other room my stepdad was rustling about. She acted as if nothing were wrong, as if i weren't interupted. NOw i dont know where im wanted. I should never have come.
As IF I JUST WALKED IN ON THEM!!!!
Holy shit i feel like death