NEED SOME INPUT (see paragraph three and below)

So, breakup with jerk Ryan official as of Friday. Thank gods. U__U He asked some other chick to prom after I had been going on and on and on about how much I wanted him to ask me. Sucks.

On a brighter note, Eti, my bestest French friend ever and I have been talking quite a bit. He's the cutest guy...like...EVER ever ever. Very very sweet, too. Very sweet. And is FRENCH HOMG! >_> Heh.

Anyhow, what do you do when you've just shown someone a bunch of pictures of you with a dandelion (like on mah house)and then they ask you for a topic for poetry and you go "umm... a dandelion!" and they write this:

Bouquet

I wish I was a dandelion
You would put on your golden hair
And fall softly on your shoulder
Caressing your cheek.

I wish you were a buttercup
I could keep against my heart
And protect you from others,
And let your soul shine.

I wish we were a bouquet
To unite our different beauties,
Or just to stay together,
Linked with a golden ribbon.

And I am not a dandelion,
And you are not a buttercup,
And we are not a bouquet.
We are just humans

But as a human
I can run my hand through your hair,
I can lay my head on your shoulder,
I can caress your cheek.

And as a human
You can stay against my heart,
I can protect you from others,
And let your soul shine.

And as two humans
We can unite our beauties
Or stay together,
Linked with a golden ribbon

..............

So far the only reply I've given him was " O_O *that is all* O_O"

And to my reply, he replied "? Err... What does it mean? ^_^" "

I am no good at writing sex. But at least i'm better than SOME of these furverts. U__U Latex bunnies and rubber skunks = bleach my braincells. Sphinx + Fox = not so bad, not at all.

Today can only be described as being lovely! This morning I woke up at 9:45, dressed really adorably, and Tracy and Billie came and picked me up for school. We got up to the school, decided we wanted coffee of some kind, and made a mad dash down to the coffee stand down the road. ^-^ Tracy is a horrible driver, so it was scary. "eee!" Like that. *nod*

And I only had Art and PE today. And the Japanese foreign exchange students (EEE!!! SO COOL!) played tennis with me, and laughed at me because I'm horrible. ^_^ But in a nice, fun way. What a nice day!! We went down to Rosehours for lunch, too! I saw a real neat spider on Tracy's car when I was waiting for her. Tracy took me home after school, and there was some great music on the radio. Then I took pictures, and la-de-da!

Wonderment wonderment, positive attitude!! o^-^o

*cries* Daniel wasn't at school today!!! He wont' be all week cuz its WASL schedule and he doesn't have to come to school cuz he's at the community college. *cries* HE NEEDS TO BE AROUND SO HIS HOTTNESS CAN ASK ME TO PROM DAMNIT!!!

I wish you guys could see him. He's so so so sososososoSO cute. Like HOMG I WANT YOU NOW BUT YOU'RE WAY TOO SWEET TO LUST AFTER, SO I'LL JUST LUST AFTER HOLDING YOUR HAND omgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Curly brown hair, nice clothes, quiet voice, sweetness = *cries*

*grumbles as her life moves along at a snails pace, just like her internet at the moment*

I bombed the second most important presentation of my senior year today. I REALLY can't fail that class. Like, REALLY a lot cannot fail.

My art teachers a bitch. Apparently simplicity in backgrounds makes my work incomplete. >_> I'll show YOU incomplete.

Stuff's been rough. Tracy was pregnant, then she got it aborted and stayed at my house while she was freaking out in pain. U__U Ryan wont go with me to Prom, and I dunno if i'll get asked, and I'm going anyway no matter what.

Rrg. Fur Affinity is the only thing that is like... good right now. ^^; I have SO much school work. U_U I hate being a senior with a hard last trimester.

On a brighter note Perry Tech is actively trying to get me to enroll in their Graphic Design program! o^-^o

Its unfair! Its unfair for him to ask so much of me when I get nothing back...right?

By the way: I am queen of asdf.com. Queen. A picture I drew is used as the forum banner.

*sigh* U_U Thats what it all comes down to. He doesnt want to see himself with me for any meaninful length of time because i'm not christian. *sigh* Gods. Can any of you imagine me christian??? No.

You want a laugh?

Start the asdf revolution.

http://www.asdf.com

I light candles everywhere and come to him, dancing in circles, saying "Isn't it romantic?"

He says "What a waste of matches."

I dont know what to think anymore. Maybe I'm glad he's going to Hawaii... I cant believe he's so fucking....

FUCKED UP.

Is what he is.

Leave me be, i've got stuff wrong with me.

I get so annoyed with my own drama.

Ugh. Guys are so weird. I swear to you.


On a brighter side, I took some pictures of Mark. ^_^ Check out:
(Warning: If you have any problems with very skinny shirtless guys who look like chicks, staaaay awaaay...)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/977687/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/977486/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/975193/

Watching Rent tomorrow with Mark. He's never seen it. I'm so excited. I downloaded a bunch of the songs. ^-^And drew a picture. I love that movie so much. (And yet i've only seen it twice, because we don't have it, and I never get to rent movies.)

Drama drama drama drama drama drama drama blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Fuck this fuck this fuck this.

Sooo, whats been going on lately? Drama drama drama drama boys boys boys boys. Not much interesting. I just can't decide if i'm cheating on him or not. I MIGHT be, but then again, are me and Ryan REALLY going out? Not REALLY. I dont think at least. It depends on what RYAN thinks is going on. And Emmi wasn't supposed to come BACK from his little vacation till spring time. *sighs* I dont know if I love him. Someone tell me I do.

Ok, so...lately. Hmm...What's been going on, except for pointless drama that you don't wanna hear about? Well, nothing. ^-^;; Heheh. Things've been okay, but for my jump drive that died so I cant' put anything else on FA. So i'm pissed. But on a lighter note, it SNOWED! Snow snow snow! ^-^ I hope its a white christmas this year. I really really want it to be. And christmas is soon. We put up decorations, and made wreathes, and all that good stuff. We're getting a tree like next weekend, and I know for a fact that i'm getting some pretty spiffy art supply stuff. I'm excited. Majorly. I WANT an Ipod, but like that's gonna happen. Mum's getting an Iphone and i'm massively jealous.

ta for now.

Cheers

Eerielle

Okay, so, if you have little to no interest in the drama of my life (Which you probably don't) dun read this. ^^; It's a rant. I warn you now, it WILL uselessly take up your time if you read it.

Okay. Archania. I'm getting really tired of Archania. I'm getting tired of the problems that show up over and over and over agian. I'm getting tired of people pressuring us to expand. I'm tired of people throwing gifts at our feet because they pity us. Because they think that we're weak. Because they think i've completely damaged what Archania stands for, and thusly the people are suffering. That's shit. Do you know that there hasn't been a population increase of this magnitude for hundereds of years? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of people thinking they can walk all over my country. Well, they can't. We're still proud, we're still warriors, and we're still ready to fight if you shove a spear in our face. Once upon a time people were careful of what they said to an Archanian woman. She might kick their ass. Once upon a time people only said the most respectful, careful things to an Archanian queen. If you hurt her pride, she'd hurt your people. I don't want fear, but I do want respect. There has to be a better way to get respect than fear, right? But I can't do it with the reputation Archania had once upon a time. I know that what i'm doing has been good and will continue to be helpful to my people. I know that, within my heart, and my Archanian Council knows that, and the King knows that, and my own advisors know that. The government knows that, and so do most of the people. It's the OTHER countries I can't get it through to. I dont' know. One thing's for sure. I DONT want Mark's help. He thinks he's so high and mighty. So pure and good. As soon as I get even a little angry he pulls the holier-than-thow attitude on me. Like he's so good. Like he's so perfect. YES, I have the capacity for anger. NO, I don't like war. I am not perfect. I am not perfect. I wish people would stop expecting me to be, and see what i"m going through. I'm getting good grades, managing a country, managing 40+ people in my head, managing a relationship, managing my social life at school, and managing my parents. SOMEONE put me up for SAINTHOOD for not having CRACKED sooner!

Aaaaand i'm done. I think. Whew.

Walking home, I decide to take a shortcut. I slip down a road I don't know and hear him calling me. I spin around, and there he is. He's a two-faced fairy who points the way with his eyes, confusing, beguiling, enticing you into his arms and away from your goals. He steals away time, and hides the things we love. He is the blindfold over the eyes of the all-seeing hawk. He is the wind that seduces those who dare to climb the mountain, or take the boat out to sea. He is the one who puts the mask over our loved ones who have passed away. He stands, enshrouded in mist, just out of sight. We try to stay away from him, and yet become him. You cannot see him, unless you take on his name. He is “Lost”, and so am I.