>__> I love these ET diary entries. I cant write about him anywhere else that he wont see... >_> *laughs*
I want to be sexy. T_T I want to be. But so far I'm just pretty. I'm just cute.
I could send him a naked picture of me masturbating, all he'd say was something like "The expression on your face is cute." >_> Its frustrating, but comforting as well.
If I say I love him, murder me, cuz its probably a lie.
I am a crazy person. An insane person. A person who cannot say no. But I am also a person who is probably going to graduate, so thats a good thing.
>__> I laugh in the face of reason. I ignore everyone who is smart and logical and knows what they're talking about. I get myself into relationships with random french guys on the internet!! And am I proud? HELL NO! Am I loud? HELLZ YEAH!! Am I proud?? TO SOME EXTENT!! >__> Shuddup. I do what I want.
Occasionally when you are feeling sort of nervous, sad, and strange, a good orgasm is the perfect cure.
And that, my friends, was like... amazing.
^__________^ Good night, I heart you all.
He says he loves me.
And I am so scared. I feel sorta sick.
I dont want to be stupid. But I am a hopeless romantic.
*flails* I dont know what to do. Long-distance internet-based relationships are BAD. Everyone else's experiences have told me so. And he's in FRANCE. That is FAR away. (Granted, not as far as Australia, Ashley, but FAR away!)
The letter is long and full of the same thing over and over.
But there, that one paragraph. He says,
"So I can say… I think… I’m sure… I love you."
I've never read something that makes me any happier.
How lame, also happy earth day:
HOW LAME!! I had this can of soda, it fell out of the fridge TWICE. Not once did it fall, rather it fell TWICE. It is dented. The can has like two DENTS IN IT. It fell twice from the TOP SHELF OF THE REFRIGERATOR!!
And of course, the first comment i got was "Doo eet!" So I did.
NOTHING HAPPENED. It was a little flat. Thats all. T_T Seriously, it opened just like a normal pop, with perhaps even LESS FIZZ than expected. HOW LAME!! LAME LAME LAME LAME, LAME LAME LAME LAME, LAME LAME LAME LAME, HOW LAME!
Also
HAPPY EARTH DAY!! WOO!! *dances around in circles of earthy goodness*
NEED SOME INPUT (see paragraph three and below)
So, breakup with jerk Ryan official as of Friday. Thank gods. U__U He asked some other chick to prom after I had been going on and on and on about how much I wanted him to ask me. Sucks.
On a brighter note, Eti, my bestest French friend ever and I have been talking quite a bit. He's the cutest guy...like...E
Anyhow, what do you do when you've just shown someone a bunch of pictures of you with a dandelion (like on mah house)and then they ask you for a topic for poetry and you go "umm... a dandelion!" and they write this:
Bouquet
I wish I was a dandelion
You would put on your golden hair
And fall softly on your shoulder
Caressing your cheek.
I wish you were a buttercup
I could keep against my heart
And protect you from others,
And let your soul shine.
I wish we were a bouquet
To unite our different beauties,
Or just to stay together,
Linked with a golden ribbon.
And I am not a dandelion,
And you are not a buttercup,
And we are not a bouquet.
We are just humans
But as a human
I can run my hand through your hair,
I can lay my head on your shoulder,
I can caress your cheek.
And as a human
You can stay against my heart,
I can protect you from others,
And let your soul shine.
And as two humans
We can unite our beauties
Or stay together,
Linked with a golden ribbon
..............
So far the only reply I've given him was " O_O *that is all* O_O"
And to my reply, he replied "? Err... What does it mean? ^_^" "
I am no good at writing sex. But at least i'm better than SOME of these furverts. U__U Latex bunnies and rubber skunks = bleach my braincells. Sphinx + Fox = not so bad, not at all.
Today can only be described as being lovely! This morning I woke up at 9:45, dressed really adorably, and Tracy and Billie came and picked me up for school. We got up to the school, decided we wanted coffee of some kind, and made a mad dash down to the coffee stand down the road. ^-^ Tracy is a horrible driver, so it was scary. "eee!" Like that. *nod*
And I only had Art and PE today. And the Japanese foreign exchange students (EEE!!! SO COOL!) played tennis with me, and laughed at me because I'm horrible. ^_^ But in a nice, fun way. What a nice day!! We went down to Rosehours for lunch, too! I saw a real neat spider on Tracy's car when I was waiting for her. Tracy took me home after school, and there was some great music on the radio. Then I took pictures, and la-de-da!
Wonderment wonderment, positive attitude!! o^-^o
*cries* Daniel wasn't at school today!!! He wont' be all week cuz its WASL schedule and he doesn't have to come to school cuz he's at the community college. *cries* HE NEEDS TO BE AROUND SO HIS HOTTNESS CAN ASK ME TO PROM DAMNIT!!!
I wish you guys could see him. He's so so so sososososoSO cute. Like HOMG I WANT YOU NOW BUT YOU'RE WAY TOO SWEET TO LUST AFTER, SO I'LL JUST LUST AFTER HOLDING YOUR HAND omgomgomg!!!!!
*grumbles as her life moves along at a snails pace, just like her internet at the moment*
I bombed the second most important presentation of my senior year today. I REALLY can't fail that class. Like, REALLY a lot cannot fail.
My art teachers a bitch. Apparently simplicity in backgrounds makes my work incomplete. >_> I'll show YOU incomplete.
Stuff's been rough. Tracy was pregnant, then she got it aborted and stayed at my house while she was freaking out in pain. U__U Ryan wont go with me to Prom, and I dunno if i'll get asked, and I'm going anyway no matter what.
Rrg. Fur Affinity is the only thing that is like... good right now. ^^; I have SO much school work. U_U I hate being a senior with a hard last trimester.
On a brighter note Perry Tech is actively trying to get me to enroll in their Graphic Design program! o^-^o
Its unfair! Its unfair for him to ask so much of me when I get nothing back...right?
By the way: I am queen of asdf.com. Queen. A picture I drew is used as the forum banner.
*sigh* U_U Thats what it all comes down to. He doesnt want to see himself with me for any meaninful length of time because i'm not christian. *sigh* Gods. Can any of you imagine me christian??? No.
You want a laugh?
Start the asdf revolution.
http://www.asd
I light candles everywhere and come to him, dancing in circles, saying "Isn't it romantic?"
He says "What a waste of matches."
I dont know what to think anymore. Maybe I'm glad he's going to Hawaii... I cant believe he's so fucking....
FUCKED UP.
Is what he is.