I just thought i'd inform you oddities that take an interest in me, for whatever unknown reasons that i've yet to fathom(don't tell me, I like a good mystery), of what i've been doing lately. Aren't I the thoughtful one? 

Hmmm...there's not a whole lot that's happened to me lately. I think the only thing that I can attest to is the fact that i'm, relatively, still alive. *shrug* It may not seem like much but, in this day and age of warmongering, illegal arms and drug sales, drivers that have played one too many games of Grand Theft Auto and Carmaggeddon, and various forms of national and international terrorism, I consider it to be a laudable achievement.

Oh, I also applied for OSAP(Ontario Student Assistance Program. Basically, they loan you money for post-secondary education)which was a headache(too much legal jargon and numbers for my tastes). Oh well, it's yet another necessary evil that I have slain in my quest for collegial knowledge. It'd all better be worth it....

The high point of my week seems to be the increased addition of a few more anime shows to the YTV station...I'm not quite sure what that says about me....  

*sigh* Well, the ass-clowns at Bell have screwed up once again.
It seems that they heard my mother has died(the account was in her name) so they cut off our satellite with no warning. Apparently, the curtesy of informing us of their actions was beyond their realm of experience. No one was willing to go above and beyond the call of duty.[/sarcasm]*shakes head*
Luckily, I was able to, single-handedly, prevent an outbreak of mass hysteria, caused by the loss of our TV(read: I was able to get my panic under control). Crisis averted...for now. ;p

I have a theory...a theory where white men and black men...er, wait, that's not right. Let's try again, shall we?

I have a theory that people like(or hate) different works of art because it makes them feel something(disgust, awe, familiarity). So, if you painted something and used colours psychologically proven to promote a certain emotion in people, and, thereby enhace the atmosphere/quality/impact/whatever of your work, they'd be more likely to buy(or, at least, notice) your work.

So, those that read this and use the information i'm about to depart, will be the testers of my theory...my guinea pigs, if you will. Here we go....

Colour Psychology and/or Therapy 101:

RED:
- symbolizes heat, fire, blood, passion, love, warmth, power, excitement and aggression. It Can elevate blood pressure and respiratory rate. It has the effect of stimulating people to make quick decisions and increase expectations.
- is an attention grabber. Words and objects in red get people 's attention immediately. In decorating and design, red items should be perfect since it will attract attention. When it comes to cars, there is a positive correlation between the color red and theft rate.
- is an emotionally intense and very extreme color. Red clothing can be uplifting and convey power and energy but may invite confrontation.
- is extremely dominating. It should be used as an accent not as a background.
- rooms make people anxious but rooms with a red accent can cause people to lose track of time, thus are favored by bars and casinos. Restaurants often use red as a decorating scheme because of its appetite stimulant function.
- Decorate with red in a place that needs action and/or warmth. Hallways, bathrooms, playrooms, dining rooms. Use small amounts in a bedroom to stimulate sexual passion. Because of red's high action vibration, it is wise to use small amounts or balance with other colours such as yellow, blue, purple.

YELLOW:
- the pure bright lemon yellow is the most eye-fatiguing color. Light is reflected by this bright color, resulting in excessive stimulation of the eyes, causing eye irritation. It also speeds metabolism. Paint a room yellow, you will make babies cry and grown-ups lose their tempers in it. Furthermore, yellow is not a good color for notepads and monitor background. Although it can alert our brain and enhance concentration, it is hurtful to our eye.
- when used in small amount, produces sensations of brightness and warmth. It represents playfulness, light, creativity, warmth and an easygoing attitude toward life. It is as inviting as a warm, sunny day. Yellow is like sunlight -- you want it to be there to feel good, but you don't want it to be "in your eye".
- has many shades. Pure yellow is the most cheerful and sunny of the spectrum. A softer tint, however, will make it more pleasant to look at. Dingy yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, jealousy and duplicity. Choice of shade is important when it comes to yellow.
- the cheerful sunny yellow, is an attention getter. It is the most visible color of all the colors, it is the number one attention getter.
- is a spiritual color that is a symbol of the deity in many religions.
- Yellow gives us clarity of thought, increases awareness, and stimulates interest and curiosity. Yellow energy is related to the ability to perceive and understand. The yellow energy connects us to our mental self and is great for your memory, studying for exams and creating confidence.
- Decorate with Yellow in a study room to aid learning and concentration. In a bedroom, it creates a sunshine feel filled with positive vibes when used with another colour. On its own, it could make for a restless sleeps as it stimulates the mind. If you have a tense family relationship, keep yellow away from social rooms as it can promote fighting and anger.

BLUE:
- represents solitude, sadness, depression, wisdom, trust and loyalty. Wearing blue to job interviews indicates dedication and loyalty.
- is one of the most popular colors. To American consumers of both genders, blue is the favorite color. However, be careful when using blue in association with food - it is a natural appetite suppressant and can be repulsive in some instances.
- is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Blue-colored food is repulsive to humans because when our ancestors searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. During experiments, when participants were served with food dyed blue, they lost appetite.
- relaxes our nervous system. It has a sobering effect on the mind and can cause people to be more contemplative, which is the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue, which is a good color for bedrooms, causes the body to produce calming chemicals. Darker shades of blue, however, can feel cold and depressing.
- surroundings, if not too dark, increase productivity. Studies show that students score higher, weightlifters lift heavier weights in blue rooms. People retain more when reading information written in blue text.
- Blue is a mentally-relaxing colour. Blue has a pacifying effect on the nervous system and brings great relaxation. Ideal for sleep problems, and hyper-active children. Connects us to holistic thought, and gives us wisdom and clarity enhancing communication and speech.
- Decorate with blue in any room except for a kitchen (no appetite) and basement (too cold of a colour) Great for a bedroom to induce a peaceful sleep

GREEN:
- comes with many symbiotic meanings, among which, the strongest and the most universal is nature. Related to that, it also signifies life, youth, renewal, hope and vigor. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility.
- is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming color and has a neutral effect on the human nervous system. The "green rooms" are designed for people who are waiting to appear on TV to sit and relax. Green is also a popular color in hospitals because it relaxes patients.
- Green's various shades have different symbolic meanings:
  Dark Green -- cool, masculine, conservative, and implies wealth.
  Emerald Green -- immortality.
  Olive Green -- the color of peace.
  Yellow-Greens -- least preferred color of consumers.
- represents money in American culture.
- Green helps relax muscles, nerves, and thoughts. Cleanses and balances our energy, to give a feeling of renewal, peace and harmony. Green connects us to unconditional love and is used for balancing our whole being. Excellent colour to replenish when you feel emotionally drained.
- Decorate with green for a lazy, fresh, outdoors feeling. It's a great colour to decorate with if you work in the city as it promotes the outdoors and nature. Great for any room except an activity room

ORANGE:
- is associated with warmth, contentment, fruitfulness and wholesomeness. It looks strong and generous.
- is the color most associated with appetite.
- has a declassifying, broad appeal. It can be used to indicate that a product is suitable for everyone, and can make an expensive product seem more affordable.
- Orange brings joy to our workday and strengthens our appetite for life! Orange is the best emotional stimulant. Great colour to bring you back to life on a dull, cloudy day. It also helps depression. It connects us to our senses and helps to remove inhibitions and makes us independent and social.
- Decorate with orange when you need the physical energy of red and the mental stimulation of yellow. It is a great colour for children, representing the freedom and creativity to play. In a dining room it will stimulate the appetite and create joyful communication. Lighting candles in an orange room gives a warm, accepting atmosphere. In small doses for the bedroom, it stimulates sexual desire, releases inhibitions and allows for play time for adults.

BLACK:
- is a controversial color. On one hand, it is associated with demons, witches and the devil; on the other hand, sturdiness and reliability. On one hand, it speaks with authority and power; on the other hand, despair and mourning. On one hand, it symbolizes evil characters and criminal activities; on the other hand, constancy, prudence and wisdom.
- is the clothes color of choice for many people for various reasons. Some wear black for it feels formal and powerful. Priests, on the contrary, wear black to signify submission to God. Others wear black because it gives a slimmer appearance. Minimalist black clothing has been seen as being stylish and sophistication.

WHITE:
- stands for purity, chastity and innocence. In most of the western societies, brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. It also represents cleanliness. Doctors, nurses, and lab technicians wear white to imply sterility.
- reflects light and keeps cool. So it is the color for summer clothing. In general, it creates a cool and refreshing feeling.

PURPLE:
- is the color for royalties. It stands for luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also the color of passion, romance and sensitivity.
- is a rare color in nature. In ancient times, people used a certain species of shellfish to create purple dyes -- a meticulous process. Some people like purple decorations for its unusually posh and artistic look. To others, however, it just looks artificial.

VIOLET/INDIGO:
- The indigo energy connects us to our unconscious self, and gives us the experience of being part of the whole universe. Strengthens intuition, imagination, psychic powers, and increases dream activity.
- Decorate with purples in a healing room, in a bedroom when combined with other colours such as blues & greens for balance.
- Violet purifies our thoughts and feelings giving us inspiration in all undertakings. The violet energy connects us to our spiritual self bringing guidance, wisdom and inner strength. Enhances artistic talent and creativity.

BROWN:
- is the color of earth and wood. It is solid and reliable and helps to create a neutral, comfortable and open atmosphere. It communicates credibility, solidity, strength and maturity.
- is more likely to be in men's favorite color list.
- certain shades of brown can look worn and wistful.

PINK:
- is the most romantic and tender color. It is also tranquilizing. Research suggested that pink makes people calm and soft-hearted.
- Dr. Alexander Schauss, Ph.D., director of the American Institute for Biosocial Research in Tacoma Washington, reported that when prison cells were painted pink, it reduced aggressive behavior among prisoners. “Even if a person tries to be angry or aggressive in the presence of pink, he can't. The heart muscles can’t race fast enough. It’s a tranquilizing color that saps your energy. Even the color-blind are tranquilized by pink rooms”, according to Dr. Schauss. Such a effect, unfortunately however, was short-lived as later studies would show. It appears that once the body returns to a state of equilibrium, a prisoner may regress to an even more agitated state.

The Colour of Success

Did you know that how you decorate your office can increase or decrease your productivity? Indeed, scientific research suggests that when used appropriately color and lighting can help stimulate focus and creativity, raise energy levels, reduce stress, improve organization and even attract customers. If you need more convincing of this fact, pay closer attention to how your favorite stores and restaurants use color, lighting and background music to appeal to your senses.
While people react to colors in different ways, there are some common interpretations of colors you may wish to experiment with:
  White: Individualistic, pure.
  Gray: Passive, noncommittal, stressed.
  Black: Disciplined, strong willed, independent.
  Purple: Intuitive, regal, spiritual.
  Blue: Honest, realistic, supportive.
  Sky Blue: Creative, perceptive, imaginative.
  Green: Benevolent, humanistic.
  Yellow: Communicative, expressive, social.
  Orange: Competent, organized, impatient.
  Pink: Affectionate, loving, emotional.
  Red: Ambitious, energetic, courageous.


Colour Personality
Also, supposedly, you can tell a lot about someone's personality by which colours they like and dislike.
FYI: I, myself, am a blue/indigo. I've yet to determine the accuracy of colour personality, in regards to myself.
*Note: Favourite colour = colour personality.

Personality - Red

Red Personality Traits: Courageous, confident, humanistic, strong-willed, spontaneous, honest, and extroverted.

Those who dislike Red:

May be suffering with irritability, erratic temper or anger
Living with a physical illness - exhaustion
May have been defeated
Indecisive

Positive Traits:

Athletes, police officers, fire fighters, carpenters, surgeons, truck drivers
Impulsive, hyper, energetic, always moving
Need just the facts! See black and white…no grey.
Responsible, straightforward, trustworthy
Always seeking truth and justice
Very connected to the earth
Displays a hard outside core but is soft on the inside
Combines well with blue and violet personalities

Unconstructive Traits:

Controlling
Needs to avoid showing weakness
Feels they need to be strong to survive
It's their way or the highway
Confrontational - challenging
Sexual addictions or abuse when out of balance
Only trust themselves - fear of trusting others


Personality - Yellow

Personality Traits: Good-humoured, optimistic, confident, practical, and intellectual.

Core beliefs:

Low self esteem and confidence
Fear of rejection
Needing recognition
Never allowed to show personal power and expression.

Those who dislike yellow:

May feel as though you have been rejected or not accepted for who you are
Suffer from fears, stress and anxiety
Overly critical of new ideas and judge open minded people

The two personalities of yellow:

Positive traits - Achiever:

Salespeople, real estate agents, CEO's, entrepreneurs
Live to learn, loves to research, study for knowledge
Motivated by success
Lives not by who they are but by what they do
Very task oriented and motivated
Excellent leaders
Committed to completing their task
Instant experts - always needs to be intellectually stimulated
Positive, friendly people, who attract others to them
Speak quickly

Unconstructive traits:

Workaholics
Manipulative
Fear of failure or rejection
Suffers with digestive problems/hypoglycemic/liver problems when fears are present
Speaks from the mind, not from the heart

Postive traits - Researcher:

Scientists, researchers, computer techs, engineers, psychologists
Constant need to understand and learn
Self sufficient
They are their own best friends - prefer to be alone
Brilliant thinkers - very wise
Calm disposition, kind and trustworthy
Keep business and personal life separate
Minimalists - they need little to survive but those things mean the world to them
Moves slowly

Unconstructive traits:

Always needs to avoid looking foolish - will laugh at others mistakes
Emotions cannot be trusted
Fear of being useless and incompetent
People may take them as cold and distant
Suffers with digestive problems/hypoglycemic/liver problems when internal emotions aren't expressed


Personality - Blue

Blue Personality Traits: Loyal, tactful, affectionate, inspiring, inventive, caring, and cautious.

Core Beliefs:

Children should be seen and not heard
Never allowed to express their true feelings or feel as though they will be judged if they do
Great communicators with others but speaking about themselves is difficult
Don't want to look vulnerable by expressing their thoughts and feelings
Not enough blue energy when you meet the soft spoken person. They cough and are shy to hide their feelings
Too much blue energy when they talk uncontrollably and nervously. Very manipulative.

Those who dislike Blues:

If you dislike blue you may feel as though someone has been disloyal to you and let you down
You may also feel as though you have suffered a personal loss or failed a relationship
You may dislike speaking about yourself and communicating truly how you are feeling

Positive Traits:

Great business people, teachers, politicians, preachers, singers, bankers
Loyal, responsible, trustworthy
Hard working - needs to succeed
Committed with business and personal relationships
Conscientious and ethical - strong sense of right and wrong
Can foresee problems - great devil's advocate
Team players
Feels the best when they have accomplished a task or project
Great sense of humour, witty
Excellent speaker infront of an audience

Unconstructive Traits:

Anxious, suspicious, worriers, paranoid
Become defensive if they feel threatened
Needs to always prove that they can stand on their own - rarely ask for help
Own a great deal of self doubt - question everything!
Always needs to be prepared. Doesn't like to be caught off guard
Perfectionist
Preaches
Blames others for their problems
Difficult to open up in a relationship

Relationships

Needs someone who they can respect
Must be focused on goals and dreams in life…Not Lazy!
Great with Reds, Indigos and Violets


Personality - Green

Green Personality Traits: Understanding, self-controlled, adaptable, sympathetic, compassionate, generous, humble, nature loving, and romantic.

Those who Dislike Greens:

Olive greens or greens that are muddy or dull indicate decay and death just as the fallen leaves of a tree
If you dislike green, you may feel lonely, grief or rejection

Positive Traits

Counselors, nurses, childcare workers, florists, healers, veterinarians
All about relationships
Empathetic, warm, loving, people pleasing, generous
Driven by the need to be needed
Have many friends
They usually organize all of the family get togethers
Feelings are expressed easily through laughter and tears
Appreciate the little/simple things in life like a sunset or a baby's smile
Such an emotional personality that they need to consciously be aware of the physical, mental and spiritual body

Unconstructive Traits

possessive
sentimental
difficult for them to express their own needs
has tremendous guilt for taking care of themselves or receiving love and recognition
carries resentment if people do not reciprocate with the same love as they've expressed
has a long list for likes and dislikes with people
can be manipulative
scared of not being loved so they bend over backwards to please others
Many green energies suffer with obesity due to not taking care of their own emotional and personal needs. Also related to bottling up emotions


Personality - Orange

Orange Personality Traits: Enthusiastic, happy, sociable, energetic, sporty, self-assured, and constructive.

Those who Dislike Orange:

This is the one colour the majority of people do not like (connects to not playing in life - no free time)
May feel physically exhausted
Lost interest in sex
Suffer from depression, anorexia, bulimia , alcoholism - no joy in life

Positive Traits

Dietitians, nutritionists, bartenders, hostesses, artists, musicians, athletes
Enjoy life to the fullest
Need to contribute to the world
Optimists - always give best case scenarios
Creative thinkers - great for brainstorming sessions
Playfulness behaviour
Friendly, happy, spontaneous people

Unconstructive Traits

Tendency to be shallow, phony, irresponsible, promiscuous
Fear of being deprived of fun in life
Overbearing
Addictions
Scattered
Become easily exhausted from always being on the go
Impatient
Extremely emotional


Personality - Indigo

Indigo Personality Traits: Intuitive, fearless, practical, idealistic, wise, and a truth seeker.

Positive Traits

Artists, musicians, writers, psychics, social worker, elementary teachers
Masters of describing details…paints pictures in your mind
Very sensitive, dramatic, highly creative, romantic, honest, intuitive
Individualist
Motivated to be unique, special and understood
Wants to avoid the ordinary in life
In relationships they need rescuers. They need security, trust and support. They want a best friend and lover
Great with Greens, Blues, Oranges and Indigos

Unconstructive Traits

self absorbed
moody
suffer from depression, suicidal
focuses on the negative - the worst of what's happened in the past
when life isn't the happiest, they alienate themselves from others, become emotionally blocked, and unable to function


Personality - Violet

Violet Personality Traits: Inspirational leaders, kindly and just, humanitarians, self-sacrifing, visionary, creative, and strong mentally.

Those who dislike Purples:

If you do not like Violet/Indigo, you may feel trapped by authority, have a creative block or lost your spiritual connection
Do not wear purple if you are highly sensitive

Core Beliefs

People who have had a very negative life and blame a higher power for their position will stay far away from purples
They believe that no one supports them in this world or beyond
Were put down as a child for having imaginary friends or seeing and knowing things beyond their control

Positive Traits

Artists, musicians, healers, master teachers, ministers, designers, architects
Humanitarians, peacekeepers, negotiators, mediators
Absolutely understand everyone's point of view
Friendly, warm, easy going, genuine
Accepting, trusting and stable
Usually speaks slowly and clearly
Emotionally involved in their relationships
In relationships, they need partners willing to share their vision and love for the world. Partners who don't create conflict and allow them to express themselves
Great in a relationship with Greens, Blues, Oranges and Indigos

Unconstructive Traits

Avoids conflict at all cost
They are only balanced when everything around them is OK
Can be lazy, lost in a fantasy world, indecisive, boring and resist change
Feel as though it's not OK to assert themselves
Can fall asleep to their own lives
Have a fear of loss of separation
Must be careful of over/under eating due to lack of self awareness and little physical activity


*Disclaimer: The previous information has been taken from various sources...the specifics are lost to me.

Well, i've finally been informed that I have a "firm" acceptance into Sheridan's Art Fundamentals course and that I "did very well" on my english exam(they can't tell me my marks for some unknown reason...perhaps they think it'd go to my head? Heh, as if that'd make a noticable difference). ;p

I only had to brave numerous calls over the phone(a device which I despise) and suffer through leaving a message on an answering machine(something I would not ordinarily do, as I loathe answering machines, possibly even more than telephones. I just kept telling myself that the end justifies the means). ;)

I now have to wait for a letter from the school, and compose a letter of my own, in response to the other letter, indicating whether i've accepted the, er, acceptance, or rejected it(which would probably be the equivalent of committing "scholastic suicide"(something my eccentric self is probably not above doing. Fortunately, my logical mind keeps my unusual self in check...most of the time). ;p  

Score one for "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" method.

Meh, the weather today was horrible. It reminded me of the weather in the movie Twister. One minute it was sunny, and the next there were chunks of hail, a torrential downpour, and the trees were doing the limbo. I was half expecting to see a tornado touch down. The crappy weather continued just long enough to knock out the power to my house.

The rest of my afternoon reminded me of a Disney movie quote(I bet you weren't expecting that ;p) from The Little Mermaid: "Now, the snarfblat dates back to prehysterical times, when humans used to sit around, and stare at each other all day. Got very boring...".

I managed to finish seeing the DVD I had been watching before the storm hit. The movie was called National Treasure and it's quite good actually. There's a lot of history in it and, interestingly enough, one of my relatives was a member of the Free Masons Society mentioned in the movie. Anyway, when the power went out, the DVD got stuck in the machine, and since the power only came on hours later, I now have to pay a late fee. -_-

Oh, and the seemingly endless amount of rain caused my basement to flood. This is yet another reason why i'm not an optimist. Well, not the classic type of optimist anyway. ;) 

In other news, i've yet to hear back from Sheridan regarding my exam results, and i'm thinking of employing the time-tested method of "The squeaky wheel gets the grease", or if you're a fan of the Baldur's Gate RPGs, "The squeaky wheel get's the kick". 

Hmm...i'll get to what I wanted to write later....
Interestingly enough, it appears that uploading a few pics to my photobucket account seems to have landed me another five-hundred views in almost two days. Apparently, this concept of "updating" really works...I believe I should try it more often....

*ahem* As for those people that wanted to know how I did on the english exam for my college application, you may or may not be glad to hear that the actual exam was laughable at best and i'm quite confident that i've passed. I'll probably have to wait until thursday to know for sure whether I did, indeed, pass or not. The testing centre is only open tuesdays and thursdays...the lazy bast--*realizes people can hear him*--uh, the Egyptian cat goddess. ;p 

The whole exam was multiple choice, save the essay, and consisted of a vocabulary section(containing words(34) of which I could've told you the meaning of in second grade, as words have always been one of my strong suits), and questions(50) from reading selections--Basically, it'll have a short snippet of a story telling of Johnny's trip to the supermarket, in Nashville, and the questions will ask you stuff such as, "what city is the supermarket located in?" All that you have to do is colour in the letter that coincides with the correct answer. Easy.

I'd like to share a question from the vocabulary section that I found amusing and for which, being the cynic that I am, I believe could've had multiple answers. The question was as follows:

A lucrative business is a business which is ___

a. absurd
b. profitable
c. illegal  

I truly had to resist the smart-ass impulse to add a "d. all of the above." Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint) the test question sheets were laminated...which is kind of weird, I must admit.

So, sometime later this week, after the results are in, i'm hoping Sheridan will have made up their mind as to whether i'm accepted or not. I hope they don't ask for more information/papers/whatever from me...I tell you, the administration office is like a divorced wife with alimony payments, they just take and take and take, and then ask for more....
*reads the last sentence he wrote* Hmmm...maybe similes aren't my strong suit. ;p 

It's been a while since i've written anything in my poor, neglected man-journal. Heh, I just realized that I share a lot of the same characteristics with my man-journal. ;) So, here's what's been going on in my life lately(I fool myself into believing you care)....

WARNING: POSSIBLE DANGER OF RANTS AHEAD!

Hmm...it seems the most notable events to have occurred recently are my applying to college and my mother's death, preceded by the subsequent invasion of my home by well-meaning(i'm still dubious as to their intentions) relatives and several dishes of lasagna....

Let's start with the former, shall we...?
Well, as i've never finished high-school, my only option is to apply to college as a mature student. This, as some of you may know, is a more uncertain method of applying, as the question of your acceptance is based largely on your abilities and experience, rather than on your grades from previous schools attended.
I was only able to apply late, as the people from the school I talked to regarding admission requirements told me different things. Maybe it's just because I was talking to women...i'm sure most of us guys know that they like to mess with our heads. ;)
Anyway, I have to write an english exam soon, as part of my admission process. Just setting up the test was an exercise in phone-tag(I live far from the school so i'm having the test faxed to a local adult education center).
I haven't studied english in close to three years, so i'm a little hesitant about it. On the other hand, i've never really studied for a test that I can remember and my proven method of "winging it through the use of SWAG(scientific wild-ass guessing)" has yet to fail me...i'll let you know how it turns out. ;)
For anyone interested, i've applied to Sheridan College's Art Fundamentals(Art Fundies) course. After that, my plans are to apply to Illustration, also at Sheridan. I would've applied for illustration this coming fall term, but I didn't have enough time to put together a portfolio. Also, i'm still a little unsure as to whether I want to apply to illustration as opposed to animation. Art fundies should give me a taste of both and help me decide. Also, i'll have a year to create a killer portfolio that will help me when applying later on.
I hope I can speed up the application process a bit, because if I am accepted, i'll need to look for a place to stay that's close to the school. I'd hate to have to start looking at the last minute.

Moving on, my mom succumbed to cancer two weeks ago. During this time, my multitude of relatives offered to "clean" my house, as my mother was a pack rat and didn't throw anything away. I mentioned 'clean' in quotation marks because that's exactly what they did. They cleaned out the house until little was left except the furniture..or rather, most of the furniture.
I now harbour the suspicion that my various aunts are kleptomaniacs....
I also learned during this week that my aunt Juliette(the ring-leader) is quite dim-witted(the woman has had twelve children, so the signs of having a screw loose are there). ;p
Aside from that, my family was given lasagna for dinner/supper for almost every night of that week. Apparently, lasagna is the "well-wishers food of choice". I don't particularily care for lasagna in the first place, and the week really tested my resilience.

The phrase "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions" has never been more true....

When they tell you the cable guy is an evil genius, they neglect to mention that the satellite guy falls into the same category. Although, I suppose it should be obvious.

The broadcasting satellite in space is always in motion, so, every few times a year, you have to move your satellite dish to maintain a strong signal. Very much a pain in the ass if your satellite dish is on your roof.

So, I go get the ladder and I realize, to get it into place, I need to navigate my way around my dog's winter stockpile of excrement. Oh joy! Finally, I get the ladder in place and climb high enough to reach my satellite dish. All of a sudden, it just starts raining...and it was sunny out. Not only that, the ominous sound of thunder starts rumbling nearby....

Maybe it's just me, but holding a wet metal crescent wrench while standing on a wet metal ladder, next to a wet satellite dish on a wet roof, seems like a really bad place to be during a thunder storm.

I guess it all comes down to the question of: "Is being able to watch television worth the risk of getting struck by lightning and, possibly, falling off of a roof?"

For me, there was no question.... 

Maybe i'm just paranoid(a distinct possibility), but it seems that the females in my family are out to get me....

Why, just yesterday my dog, Patches(female), saw fit to hurl me in front of two trucks, a car, and a four-wheeler on our walk yesterday.

Aside from that, my mother continued her crazy demands(this time to make bottle drive signs for my sister's school), and one of my older sisters asked me to relocate my entire computer a whole two feet because it was interfering with the TV reception.
After a test to confirm whether or not moving the computer would improve the TV, I proceeded to unhook everything and re-route a multitude of wires(this done after I cleaned the centimeter-thick layer of dust from the CPU because the video card was overheating, and also because there was a centimeter of dust covering everything). After moving the furniture around and getting everything hooked up once more, it turns out that the damn computer still messes with the TV and now it's also in the way of people sitting on the adjacent love seat, so I had to move the entire thing back to it's original location.

By now it's suppertime and i'm sweaty, dusty, and thoroughly aggravated. I go wash up and when I go to eat, it turns out that one of my other sisters has finished off the last of the soup. -_-

Maybe I just have bad karma, or the feng Shui of the house is off....

 

Surprise, surprise, i'm actually in a good mood today--almost optimistic even--despite my mom's best efforts to the contrary. She's had me scanning baby books for her "scrapbooking." As far as I can tell, "scrapbooking" is all the rage amongst baby boomers these days.
It's a good thing i'm used to her crazy demands. In fact, I should probably open a hotel chain exclusively for high-profile members of the acting/entertainment industry with my experience in crazy demands. But enough about that....

Taking advantage of my good mood, i'm going to share some "Quirks & Quotes," from my very own storehouse, with everyone that reads this. You can all thank me later...with a suitable cash donation, of course. ;p

(Just imagine/visualize the quotation marks because i'm too lazy to put them there)

QUOTES

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Out of my mind, ...be back in five minutes.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

I live in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here.

I am a nobody, and nobody's perfect, so therefore, I'm perfect.

The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

QUIRKS

Top 10 Ways to
Keep Wackiness in the Workplace

10. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
9. Schedule meetings for 4:14 PM.
8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers or tape dispensers.
7. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
6. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
5. When co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward as if you are about to say something then go back to work.
4. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
2. Include a personal note on every email that you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."
1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

Top 17 Ways to
Freak-Out Your Roomate

17. Smoke ballpoint pens.
16. Smile -- All the time.
15. Always flush the toilet three times.
14. Listen to radio static.
13. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
12. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
11. Whenever you go to sleep, starts jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep...every night for a month.
10. Ask your roommate if he/she has ever looked into the eye's of his/her victim.
9. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
8. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
7. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
5. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door
4. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
3. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. With an air of disdain, announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
2. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

Top 20 Things To Do While Ordering A Pizza

20. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
19. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
18. Put them on hold.
17. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented...
16. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
15. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
14. Be vague in your order. When they ask what you'd like on your pizza say, "Oh, a little of this, a little of that..."
13. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
12. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
11. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
10. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
9. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
8. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
7. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the jazz about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
5. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
4. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
3. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
2. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
1. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

Most people should be familiar with the next one....

Top 40 Things To Do While In An Elevator

40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence!
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP!""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

OBSERVATIONS

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

That's all for now--don't get greedy--my good mood won't last forever. ;)

Well kids, it's time for another story....
So, a few nights ago, i'm watching the movie U-571. If anyone hasn't watched it, it's about a bunch of Americans trying to recover the Enigma machine from a German U-boat(a.k.a. a submarine) during WWII without the Germans knowing about it.

During a scene where the guys in the U-boat are just cruising through the water, dodging depth charges, and stuff; there's suddenly this loud pinging, you know, like SONAR, and i'm thinking "Okay, the guys in the destroyer/battleship are using their sonar..." At least, that's what I thought until it continued during the commercial break....

Anyways, it turns out that my brother(who was watching it with me) had fallen asleep on the opposite couch. He was snoring and sounded exactly like sonar...with the echoing "poch" and everything.

Weird....

Well, I survived the ordeal yesterday. I also learned something interesting...my sister is now twelve years old. Now, as a brother who's known her since she was a smaller version of her screaming harpy self, I feel as if I should have known that. It also, strangely enough, makes me feel old...and not in a good way either...more like the "severe cataracts and a bad hip, would you please hand me my teeth" kind of old. =p

Soon, it'll be time for me to be predicting dire consequences to prospective boyfriends and beating them off with a stick when they're too dense to figure out that said predictions are thinly-veiled threats. *le sigh* So much to look forward to...I suppose i'll go polish up ol' hickory. ;)

I'm now living in dread of one of the most horrible events to ever occur in the course of a man's life...a little sister's birthday party(this is your cue to gasp in horror)! Very nice gasp--quite dramatic...you may even be eligible to be nominated for an Oscar. ;)

Now then, back to my story...
For those of you not familar, or for those of you fortunate enough not to be familiar with the experience, i'll explain the basics. A little sister's birthday party mainly consists of: many little girls--near-clones of the demon-spawned harpy you refer to as your sister(when you can't avoid acknowledging her that is)--with very much screaming and shrieking(think medieval torture chambers), and possessing a great deal of stupid questions. *shudder*

Compared to a room-full of shrieking females, the alleged plagues in Egypt were nothing. Moses obviously didn't possess much talent with calling down plagues. In my opinion, he should've locked Ramses in a room full of shrieking little girls--Ramses would've broke(or gone insane). Actually, I watched a show on the discovery channel about the Moses story and possible/plausible theories, but, I digress, that has no bearing on this particular story.... 

So, anyways, i'll try to think nice thoughts until then...something along the lines of a mass outbreak of the plague. Yes, I feel better already. ;p

*sigh* Excuse me, I now have a bunch of fan mail I need to respond to. =p

*le sigh* I don't go online for a week and the messages pile up. I think there must be something worth pitying someone for, when their online life is more hectic/busy than their real life. Oh well, i'll work on a good bout of self-pity later on...I have messages to reply to. ;)

In other news, it's my sister's birthday today. *pats self on back for remembering* Of course, knowing three people that have the same birthday today didn't hurt any. =p

I'm in a ranting mood, so i'll probably have something to say later on. Whether it's worth listening to is another matter entirely...but then again, everything I say is worth listening to. ;)

DEAR GOD, THE PINK-NESS! It's boring holes through my eyes! Don't you remember what happened to St. Valentine? That's right--he was beaten to death with clubs and, as if that wasn't bad enough, had his head cut off! You know why? Because...he...used...PINK!

In other news, my bio now includes a short example of, what I like to call, a 'friendlier' bio. Those of you that have written messages to me might have already noticed some of the qualities that I purport to have. If so, i'm mildly surprised that you're still writing to me. =p 

Dear Diary...uh...I mean, Dear Man-journal,

Today, I...um...apparently got amnesia. Oh well.


In other news, i've decided to update my bio page to make the cold and impersonal random surveys into something more warm, and friendly--basically, the antithesis of me. ;)
Something more one-on-one, tête-a-tête, uno en uno, and other foreign adjectives that amount to the same thing.
So, if anyone reads this thing, i'm open to suggestions as to what I should write.
What do you--John Q. Public/Joe Public/Joe Six-pack/Joe Shmoe/John Doe/Jane Q. Public/Jane Winecooler/Ann Yone/Jane Doe/any other generic name used to refer to a hypothetical typical member of society--wish to know about me? Where I got my good looks from? How I know random and useless trivia such as: tortoises can breathe through their butts, hippos fart through their mouths, seals have two sets of bones in their tails(leftover from the days when they had legs), the first time a toilet was shown/heard being flushed in a movie was during Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho', et cetera, ad nauseum? The possibilities are endless....

Now I must sleep, because there has to be something wrong with writing in a man-journal at 5:30 in the morning. Isn't insomnia great? 

Now for some random thoughts on strange mental connections associated with commercials:

Has anyone seen the Neutrogena commercial with Mischa Barton? She's the chick that plays the crazy skank on the TV show 'The O.C.' I don't remember her character's name, obviously, and I kinda prefer 'crazy skank' to whatever it really is anyhow. She's the one that's either srewing anything containing testosterone(and some things not i'm told) or trying to off herself. Personally, i'm hoping she succeeds in the second category. She makes me wish that euthanasiasts were more widely accepted and available or that a random serial killer might just visit the O.C. one day and take an interest in her. Maybe that's what the writers were trying to achieve?

On an unrelated note, euthanasia sounds a lot like 'youth in Asia.' Is anyone else disturbed/intrigued by this? Maybe there's a connection? Death + youth in Asia. Maybe it's a subliminal message? Kids are dying in Asia and need our help that comes in the form of a large cash donation(it's my cynicism talking)? It bears futher investigation.... 

Back to the main topic: The commercial is about a product called 'Neutrogena Deep Clean Gentle Scrub.' Now maybe it's my male mind that goes immature and makes it sound like 'Genital Scrub' but I can't be too sure. The fact that a girl playing a renowed skank on an(apparantly) popular show is promoting products that sound a lot like genital scrub is too much of a coincidence for me. As my sister, a watcher of the show in question, said: "If anyone needs it, it's her." Marketing people are damned sneaky if you ask me. They're my kind of people. ;)

I, personally, think it's a horrible name for a face-cleansing product. I've been called a dick-head now and again, but thats not enough reason for me to buy and rub something sounding like 'genital scrub' on my face.

I think I need therapy....

According to the calendar and various females in my family, today is my birthday. Seeing as how i'm a guy and, therefore, don't remember the dates of anything even remotely important, i'll choose to believe what they're telling me. Since I usually feel like Methuselah these days, the difference isn't noticeable. I'm still the modest know-it-all/brooding cynic/evil, charismatic, sexy hunk of a man genius that we all know and love that I was yesterday. =p

Also, my brother, in typical male fashion, informed me that I can now, legally, buy alcohol. After this remark, my mom encouraged me, the anti-social hermit, to go bar-hopping, get roaring drunk, and wake up in the morning in a half-melted snowbank with no memories of the previous night. I'm still not sure if she was joking or not. You know you're loved when.... 

Anyways, happy birthday/hatch-day/successful genetic experiment-day to me!

I've decided i've got another good rant left in me today. It's on the subject of why the world is out to get us and Winter is it's season of choice.

Winter is the season of viruses and other unpleasantries; The common cold, flu, hypothermia, pneumonia, etc. It's enough to make a man want to run around outside in his long underwear and make snow angels.

Why are colds so common? Because Winter has lowsy air circulation. Most people don't throw open their patio doors/windows to 'catch that delightful breeze' blowing outside during Winter. Why? Because it's damned cold. So we breathe the same air over and over again until we, finally, succumb to the germ particles floating around. That's enough of a science lesson for today.

I suppose i'm in a bad mood because those damn germ particles have finally gotten to me. I have a large family. Lot's of people living under one roof. A major downside? Chain-reactions. If one person gets sick, it's not a question of if you're going to get sick, but when. I should probably paint 'Quarantine' on a board and nail it to my front door.

Being sick for Christmas seems to be a family tradition of mine. I know Christmas is a time of giving, but a virus doesn't exactly make me feel all warm and toasty inside...unless, I have a fever that is....

 

 

So, today I was brooding(something I do quite often) on the subject of the Egyptyian gods and I noticed something that others may or may not have already noticed....

If you look at the personality of an Egyptian god/goddess, you may notice that they seem to possess the personality traits of their animal counterparts. Is this deliberate? I mean, did the ancient Egyptians have a reason for placing certain animal heads on certain gods...something more elaborate that 'eeny-meeny-miny-mo!'

For examle, Anubis: He possesses the head of a jackal. A jackal is a scavenger. They're wild animals that usually live off of the leavings(dead things) of others. Anubis' career is based on the leavings of others(dead things). Coincidence?

Amid the mighty Egyptian gods of Death, War, and the Sun, etc. Anubis is left with the exhalted position of Embalming. Doesn't that just inspire a person to get down on their knees and worship you...In my opinion, Anubis got a raw deal in relation to the job department. But, at least, he looks cool.  

Maybe i've let the Discovery Channel's Egypt Week go to my head....

  For those that I am doing art for: It'll take more time(see below for details)....

  A few days ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes an artist can make... *dramatic pause* I agreed to do some art for a family member. *insert horrified gasps from captivated audience* Normally this isn't a problem, as it's usually just one or two quick scribbles.
 
  However, my sister is planning her wedding and asked if i'd do some designs for her. Family loyalty demands that I agree and do the art beyond perfection, and, of course, it backfired on me and snowballed. A few simple designs soon turned into me designing the lettering for the cake, banners, the invitations, etc.
 
  Some of you readers may be unfortunate enough to know that nothing is pickier than a sister/woman planning her wedding--everything has to be perfect(not to mention they have the prerogative to change their mind every thirty seconds and they exercise it often.) Maybe it's my cynicism talking...but I don't really believe that. =p

  To sum it up, the strive for perfection has messed up(i'm getting really technical here) my arm and I am unable to draw--unless I use my left arm--but, you don't want to go there....

  Even typing this message is a pain. I use the hunt-and-peck method. Although, I prefer calling it the search-and-destroy method. You now, like Battleship? For example: Instead of 'E3' it's just 'E' and your missiles are your fingers...it's surprisingly entertaining....

  Anyway, I am unable to draw just now, and it really sucks....