Wow I feel like shit. I hurt the only person that I've ever really loved. He's so wonderful in everyway. And I just fucked up everything. I can't even see to type because I'm going blind from crying so much. How can I love him and not want to be with him? This is so hard and I need to vent so that's what I'm doing.

Yep. It was tonight that I broke two hearts. Mine and the heart of the one I loved. Something good happens then something bad happens, you know. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I blew it all to hell. My brother, whom I am very close to, just went through a similar experience and is still overcoming it. If he is overcoming it at all. I've been trying to help him out and now I need someone to help me. I can't help myself. I want to give up. I've never felt so shitty.

Message me with any ideas on how to get over this, please.

Oi. The second I've written in my diary! Yay! Anyway... What would one write in a diary that everyone reads? Probably nothing too personal? Nah, you guys don't care.
Anyway! Today is Sunday. Yay. My friends are all out and about having fun on their Memorial Day weekend and I'm sitting here waiting for Tuesday. Tuesday is practice for the musical I'm in. (Once on This Island) I love it so much. Fun fun!
My best friend's boyfriend took me out to dinner last night.. He tried to make a move on me.. Should I tell my friend? Will she believe me?

Woot! Okay. It's the first time that I've written in my diary!! Neat. Anyway. I have a wiki now! I so excited! It's actually [Lady Vader]'s and mine. We're were ranting about stupid people and she said "You know, stupid people shouldn't breed." And I was like "We should make a wiki and call it that." So she created to wiki and I just added stuff. So I guess it's mostly hers. lol. I made the banner though!!! ;p My artistic abilites applied to Paint. Lmao. I have no artistic ablities about me. Look at my page. The "Jessie Bear" is almost too awful to even be there. I thought it was cute though. So it's there!! Actually..I can sing and some people may consider that an art. I do. Anyway. I'm sleepy time for bed!! Thanks for reading my diary!! Hee!! I love you all!!