Dedicated to my beloved Doom:

he jokes around
he makes me laugh
talks to me and
i forget

all of my pain
and my dispair
hes the one im
not quite sure

cant right now
but wish i could
just hold him close
gotta wait

eternity
will pass me by
ill think of him
forever

he is my life
my love, my dream
all i ever
want is him

can you see what i cant
by looking in my eyes
or do i have to spell it out
with the blood from your
forgotten love
does this satisfy you
or do i have to shout
will you ever listen to me
either way
you seem to think
i know what you want
but reality can dillude
your perception is
very unclear

Have It All - Foo Fighters

You're my size I need to try you on
Someone in between the right and wrong
Through everything you kept your wings apart
Through everything you scared the sinners
And when I've had enough

She drains me
When I'm empty
She helps herself
She takes it all
In too deep
She's spilling over me
In too deep
She's spilling over me
Don't wanna hear

Running through this maze you hold me in
Searching in a daze to find the out
Through everything you left your wings apart
I'm everything I'm anyone you want
And when I've had enough

She drains me
When I'm empty
She helps herself
She takes it all
In too deep
She's spilling over me
In too deep
She's spilling over me
Don't wanna hear

I'm everything you're everything I'm not
I'm anything I'm anyone you want

She drains me
When I'm empty
She helps herself
She takes it all
In too deep
She's spilling over me
In too deep
She's spilling over me
In too deep
She's spilling over me
In too deep
She's spilling over me

reminds me of molly <<sighs longingly>>

when i close me eyes i can see the spinnig dancing paridise that is yer love for me and i feel so bad for what i have done. i knwo you care and i care too, but now i just dont kwno what to do. i wonder if i had done the right thing if i hand tfucked up, would you still hate me, or would you still try to bee who you knew i couldnt?

oO i dunoo man.... im kinda spaced out..... <<twitch>> i have a rash on my neck from this evil fuzzy sweater <<kills it>>

weeeeeeee ^^ haha, my life rocks :P yesturday, i came home late, and i got yelled at, but then i got 50 cents and pizza :P im at school right now. finishes my work in careers class. bored..... im making a book of poems that i wrote about doom, and some that he likes. on the front of the book i wrote "poetry for someone who cares" domm is cool. grrrr.... I HATE THIS SCHOOL!!!! <<dies.... regrets it and then un-dies>> only 5 minutes left till 5th period is over.... then i have math for 6th, 1st lunch, english for 7th and band of 8th. then i gotta go home.... talk to will, get a hold of brit, tell doom the book is in progress *so far i only got liek 5 pages, but its a start* oh crap... i gotta do a vasilone treatment when i get home..... evil lice...... oh well, maybe me doom will and brit can hang out tomorrow...... and go and kick stephens arse <<smiles innocently>> <<akward silence>> well..... oh well

i jsut wanna be somewhere with someone
i can love and hold forever
i just wanna be somewhere
outdoors with all the sunshine
and the wind blowing softly on my skin
i wanna be free from all my worries
not have to think a single thought
jsut have my world inside my mind
and take away the pain
be with him forever more
i dotn care what happens
i know you do
being in love is liek a dream
fast asleep in harmony
living a lie that hurts so bad
you cant stand to be away from pain
everything and everyone and everywhere you go
no one cares this life of yours
jsut use it well dont waste your air
think of how youre perfect
in no ones eyes but his
and every time he touches you
your heart skips a beat
and think of all the blissfull joy
every time your lips meet
you think that this is perfect
you think that this will never end
in your mind you know its a lie
but you enjoy your pain too much

he said that he would stay forever
forever wasnt very long
he said that he would take the hight road
he thought that i was always worng

cause when he lied it meant he loved me
and when he lied it meant he cared
and when he lied it meant he loved me
cause when he lied it meant that he was there

he said that he would go his own way
wrapped up my leg and down my spine
he said that he would be the fairest
drenched in blood and terpintine

cause when he lied it meant he loved me
and when he lied it meant he cared
and when he lied it meant he loved me
cause when he lied it meant that he was there

im never going back i dont care what he said
i wish he sould see the hate in my head
im never going back i dont care what he said
i wish he sould see the hate in my head
im never going back i dont care what he said
i wish he sould see the hate in my head
im never going back i dont care what he said
i wish he sould see the hate

he said that he would tell no secrets
he said that he would never lie
he said that he would spring eternal
he said that we would never die

cause when he lied it meant he loved me
and when he lied it meant he cared
and when he lied it meant he loved me
cause when he cried it meant he cared
cause when he lied it meant he loved me
and when he lied it meant he cared
and when he lied it meant he loved me
cause when he lied it meant that
he was
he was
he was
he was there

NEON LIGHTS

little children
running around with
bits of broken glass
and lighters
setting them on fire
and cutting open
eachothers hearts
in the dead of night
most peacefull yet
dangerous of times
wondering aimlessly
looking up at the stars
sirens shreiking loudly
more crimes
more drugs
more death
faint backround noises
peopel going on with their lives
giving not a care
thinking about
only themselves
the cold wind blowing
makes me feel hollow & empty
i dont liek this place
i have to get away

i dont know what
exactly it was
that was you know
instilled in me
but its this sort of
sense of being
a part of something
i dont know
you know like
i knew that i
was being ushered
into something

i wanted to
say im sorry
but i dont know
what for im
just sorry you know
i just suddenly
felt sorry but i
didnt want to
tell you because
like i dont know
you would have
asked why and i
wouldnt know
what to say so
i dont know
you know

fhyhtriygi5qqqeyhtraoghfkjherjkhqta34oooowhthertrehgreiothqao3hhhthrekjtghhjkfhkjherjkthkjherthq3u45ui4yhtrhjkgggggjk.hreo;twyeouighhhhdfhbekrhhqteurhtughvheqrhwhggggeheurihtterh i need help. i dont know who from, i dont know what with, i dont know how, but i know i need help. i cant do anything. im utterly and completely helpless. i upset him. i left and i didnt some back for a couple days. i needed to clear my mind. i had a lot of time to think. no matter where i am, who im with and what im doing, i walways end up thinking about him. i dunno what that means, whether or not its healthy, what the fuck im gunna do about or anything. i dont know anything. my brain died. i dont know who i am anymore. please, please, please, help me find myself. i can really use any help i can get. i just wish life were as simple as everyone makes it sound when youre a little kid in kindergarden, all you have to worry about is what youre gunna eat, are you gunna get to go out to the park and play in the sand-box, can you spell your name good enough. when you think about it life is utterly pointless. everyone dies in the end. my feet are cold. ive been cold a lot lately. im cold and i have a sore throat. thats what i get for sharing drinks with other people i guess. or maybe its more than that. maybe im sick because im so stressed out. god damnit i dont even have anything to be stressed out about >.< fuckin' a. im just going to stop typing now

he is everywhere
at the same time
he is no where
to be found

thinks hes worthless
just a loser
cant do nothing
he is wrong

love him so much
makes me cry
i just want to
be with him

stuck here in this
dead darkness
here forever
silent, cold

wait for my time
he will come
make it all gone
i just know

mind over matter
everthing
ill make this work
no matter what

i am spinning
and im scared
for i know not
what is next

just have to wait
then ill see
what lies ahead
the future

hearing voices
they not real
guess i am though
at times i wonder.....

DEMI GOD

heres a stupid peom i wrote

SELF DISCRIMINATION