Well yesterday was the last day of art class and I got one last memorable quoatable quote from Ashley and her ex-girlfriend:
"Harry Potter, sign her pants!"

*sighs heavily* Its been ten days, and Paula still hasn't come back yet Vv God... I miss her so much v_V I don't want to go on wondering where she is, if only I could just get a single message from her... V.v

BRAND NEW LYRICS

"Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't"

i am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
i am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
cuz you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go..

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

this is the grace that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend,
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone,
this is the rise and the fall.

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

~~~

"I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light"

The time has come for colds and overcoats.
We're quiet on the ride,
we're all just waiting to get home.
Another week away, my greatest fear.
I need the smell of summer,
I need its noises in my ears.
If looks could really kill,
then my profession would be staring.
Please know we do this cause we care
and not for the thrill.
Collect calls to home
to tell them that I realize
that everyone who lives will someday die
and die alone.

And we won't let you in.
Though we're down and out.
No we won't let you in.
You win, you win, you win.

I wrote more postcards than hooks.
I read more maps than books.
Feel like every chance to leave
is another chance I should have took.
Every minute is a mile.
I've never felt so hollow.
I'm an old abandoned church with broken pews
and empty aisles.
My secrets for a buck.
Watch me as I cut myself wide open
on this stage. Yes, I am paid
to spill my guts. I won't see home till spring.
Oh, I would kill for the Atlantic,
but I am paid to make girls panic
while I sing.

And we won't let you in.
Though we're down and out.
No we won't let you in.
And we won't let you in.
We don't want what isn't ours.
We won't let you in.
You win, you win, you win.

And the coastline is quiet.
While we're quietly losing control.
And we're silent but sure
we inventened the cure
that will wash out my memories of her.
"The harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered.
The water is red."
Like you, like you.

And we won't let you in.
Though we're down and out.
No we won't let you in.
And we won't let you in.
We don't want what isn't ours.
We won't let you in.
You win, you win, you win.

~~~

"The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows"

We saw the western coast
I saw the hospital
Nursed the shoreline like a wound
Reports of lover's tryst
Were neither clear nor descript
We kept it safe and slow
The quiet things that no one ever knows

[Chorus: x2]
So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
If today's the day it gets tired
Today's the day we drop out
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

I contemplate the day we wed
Your friends are boring me to death
Your veil is ruined in the rain
By then it's you I can do without
There's nothing new to talk about
And though our kids are blessed
Their parents let them shoulder all the blame

[Chorus: x2]
So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
If today's the day it gets tired
Today's the day we drop out
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

[Bridge: x2]
I lie for only you
And I lie well...
Hallelu...

[Chorus: x2 (words from bridge continued in the background)]
So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
Today's the day it gets tired
Today's the day we drop out
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

aiyah x.x for the past 3 days our internets been down and my dad only just fixed the wireless router. Unintentionally extra out-of-communication vacation XP

I think I just channeled alot of my bad mood into this picture, cuz it helped. That and more Dr Reanimator (which no one has even seen yet to my knowledge XP I've only been harping about it since I first heard it 3 or 4 days ago Xx) And so far, Ive gotten one pat-on-the-back with a really nice commentary, one cookie and some useful thoughts, and a reminder I do have a really great friend in [Tiger Shark]. Still no Paula though T.T

Wes is starting to walk the balencing line again. Too much anger and rage. I'm thinking that Wes may end up going Anakin Skywalker and dark-side people. Why though? Why is this happening? Is it because I'm channeling all my emotions to these comments, and despite almost twoscore friends in my lists at least half of them having been on several times recently, not one has said a single word except Andy, and even then he obviously didn't read a word I actually said, judging by the comment: "I like your pics, theyre nice and beautiful" wow. Informative. Sort of like saying that they're colored in pencil. And the strange thing is, all but one of the pics was zombie-like character sketches. So I'm wondering if he even looked past pic number 1. If you're just gonna say stuff like that to be nice to me, just drop it. I don't need people pulling my strings and jerking me around like that. Tell me how you truly feel, and if that means pretending I don't exist, by all means, please, seriously don't talk to me. That way I can stop waisting my life and time. I'm screwing myself way over IRL. I have no life IRL. My grades suffer and I'm labeled a freak even in my own family for devoting so much time to the screen. The last time I took a vacation I lost 3 pounds. I don't know what that means. Is it the stress, the inactivity, or just pure and amazingly accurate coincidence? Well, thanks for reading this at all, yeah, both of you. Too bad you didn't read it for two or three days I'll bet. Most of you will just skip right over an entry this large. I could say that my family was all dying right now but if I talk on long enough and bury it in text, you'd never even know. yeah, you can see it now. you'd be able to miss something like that because you dont care. why should I? I guess its simply because there are probably only 2, maybe 3 people who even bother to watch my house page.

http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/flash/src/1116096666165.swf ^^ Its working again! *cough* you know I really love this flashtoon right? And its one of those things I've put in my profile, right? And that I usually put things there when I want other people to see them and give me comments? And those to be actual comments instead of 1-4 word fragments?

#_ _
    '
Okay I'm getting really REALLY sick of people at school just giving my art a simple glance and actually giving me meaningful and often extremely HELPFUL feedback when I don't even KNOW them practically, yet I leave my art up here for all to see waving a red flag saying "LOOK AT THIS DAMNIT!" and what do I get? "Awesome". Thanks for that. Now I know exactly what I'm doing right, wrong, how you feel about it, and SO much more detail than that. </uber sarchasm>

Gah... I'm gonna need to take another vacation at this rate. I'm getting really pissy because I REALLY miss Paula, and no one has even given me so much as a "first comment dance" in my art wiki stuff since I expanded it into more than one page. Nice. I've also been completely ignored with my new stuff, whether its my new favorite song, my new art, my photo-edited art has been almost completely ignored, and all three I've been practically beating people over the head with trying to get them to even ACKNOWLEDGE their EXISTANCE.

Idiot! What the flip man? Gawd.

Gah, fchan doesnt seem to be working now so the link wont be working >< at least I got a copy of the song for WMP, even if its some sort of Mp3 layer file so doesnt work perfectly. still =P

I must applaud my brother's generosity in finding this and his amazing google skills. or else his pervishness for finding this in a place like fchan. However, its not porn or anything, just another really addicting flashtoon, whose main character is a fox anthro with long blue hair, hence why he showed it to me.
http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/flash/src/1116096666165.swf
I cant get it out of my head! *Reanimator*

Today is lucky number seven for my Daily Poem selections =) Kickass.

Call of the Rain

Friday the 13th huh? At school there was a freak storm that made it hard to focus while taking the AP Latin Exam, ie, colledge level latin at a 3rd year high school level below-average student skill. My brain hurts >< and my friend couldn't come over, which I guess is okay as I had to stay there for more than an HOUR after school to take the exam

Okay, this is getting ridiculus. Now the net is working fine, but yahoo isnt responding.

My internet is moving really REALLY slow >< I'll try to get caught up as best as I can

My internet is moving really REALLY slow >< I'll try to get caught up as best as I can

My internet is moving really REALLY slow >< I'll try to get caught up as best as I can

I'm worried. I seem to be drifting away... And I'm not even drifting to anywhere else. I keep finding myself staring blankly at the cream white ceiling, examining the imperfections in the drywall roof carpeting. I find myself sleeping more and more, but staying up later every night. I don't know what to draw anymore, and what I draw scares me or is so, well, risque, that I wouldn't dare to try and post it on here, and as 'yiffy' a person as I am I'm amazed I'd draw stuff like this. I'm even starting to draw it at school. I dont dare keep it, the vixens (many of them literally so) all find their way to the trash can and sometimes even the dumpster directly, I'm so afraid they might accidentally be found when emtyping the trashcan in my room. I don't even know WHY im drawing this stuff. My mind is constantly blank; sometimes I'll look down and see this beautiful, naked form on the page and think to myself, how did this get here and why? I haven't gotten any homework done in two weeks and my grades are starting to tank. I find myself backsliding rapidly, loosing my motivation, enthusiasm, inspiration, slowly becoming a brooding figure prone to outbursts of hyperactivity followed by lulls of complete depression and exhaustion. I want to stay cheerful and optimistic but even my enthusiasm and motivation for this is slipping. *Sighs* I gotta get some sleep now, if I can. Ten minutes later I'll catch myself drawing 3 or 4 mating fox anthros or something trashy like that.

*starts leaking angst everywhere*

Ugh >< Yesterday I worked almost all day, then was so tired I couldn't get up off of the couch to get my laptop for half an hour and by them it was 8:30, paula has to get off at 8:00. So then I tried to check up on stuff online. I got about 5 minutes done before I basically lapsed into a coma until this morning when my mom woke me up. She says she had to use a glass of water to do it, but I'm so damned sleepy I can't even remember. My hands ache like crazy. They're filled with thistle needles, splinters, and bits of dirt and other assorted gardenwork crap. Its the pain thats keeping me awake, I think x_x

I love you so much Paula! I miss you vV!

*winces* ow x.o I've been pulling weeds and stuff like that all day. My dads giving us a 30 minute break before we go out and do it some more. Fate is an evil b*stard for conspiring against me spending time with my Paula like this! Xx