Ah, the first day of school, and routines are already settling in. Like the 15 minutes or so I have left over after getting ready to go, then leaving at 6:45 my time. (tis 6:35 as I write this)

Great, school starts tommorow and my face is swollen out like a freakin' chipmunk. At least it doesnt hurt anymore, though I'm not even gonna try to eat anything solid until after the stitches in my gums dissolve.

Last night I had a kickass dream. I landed in a place where there are 10 floors, #10 being the entrance/exit. All other 9 were games and shyt you can program, but with your mind and a little hand work. Naturally, I restyled myself as Wes. Any dream where thats the end result rocks in my opinion.

Well like I said, tommorows the first day of school; I get to be a 16 year old senior because they keep pushing back the first day of school. Someone asked when I get my presents. A while ago. Thats what WoW was. But now, my laptop's outta commission even LONGER, because they didnt even start working on it until yesterday. e_e That means it won't be fixed until sometime around the end of the month T_T

All the fun things that have happened in the past 2 weeks

1. the laptop started being a total byatch and got sent in for 7-10 days repair. unfortunately, thats 7-10 WORK days, ie, around when school starts.
2. we try to go on vacation. fate reeeealy didn't want us to.
-it started to rain like crazy
-two car tires had to be replaced, both had nails in them.
-the car battery wouldn't start, so we had to use the charger we got when bro left the AC on, and the engine off. genius. *rolls eyes*
-we had to wait for my medicine to arrive from UPS before we could go, so that delayed us until 5.
-consequently, its so late, by the time we get to our family friend's, the carolls, place, its dark. dad drives by landmarks. there are no landmarks in the dark.
-we try to call grandma (my dad's mom, the cool grandma) and the cellphone gets shytty reception, she cant hear us.
-mr caroll, dale, his cell phone keeps giving us the answering machine-type message.

we finally make it there, 10:45 their time.

-we can't get the gamecube and tv to work, so only the gc works in the bedroom, no tv.
-that night, 147 (yes i counted, you'll see why) lightning strikes, plus the caroll's kids sleeping on the couch leaving the tv on, give me flashing light all night to keep me awake.
-they're a bed short, so i have to try to sleep in a recliner, that you have to fight with to keep reclined.
-when i finally fall asleap, its 7:30 am. I have to get up at around 8 or 9 am.
-breakfast isnt gonna be ready for a few hours, and ive been starving, awake, all night with nothing to eat but a pair of slim jims i stowed in my suitcase. at least i got to go fishing.

-all day, every day, i find myself the odd man out. Dad and mom are busy talking to dale and donna, and bro's watching tv crap with trisha and anna, the caroll's kids.

at least their dog, sophie, decided she'd hang around with me. I always preferred cats over dogs but still, I'm hoping it'll help with drawing muzzles, after basically doing a mental study of the way a muzzle really looks. she had cool markings too, I'll have to work them into a drawing.

-On another rare 'positive' side, all this time alone gave me a chance to draw a total of about FIFTEEN pictures, many of them pictures I drew of songs.

Hybrid Rainbow is one of the best singing poses I've ever been able to draw, and Okay I Believe You is covered with powerful quotes, and its nice and depressing. It really fit my mood. So look for my usual duality when I post 'em ^^

-When I finally get to play just one game with dad, I'm so depressed and off, I lost to freakin' Xianguah, damn preppy bytch, with one of my best, Kilik. That hasn't happened once in about a YEAR.

at least on the last night i got to sleep on the couch. best damn night of sleep of my life.

-Time to go, and of course, car wont start again. whip out the jumper cables.

Lovely and relaxing vacation, no? actually, it wasn't all bad, but it was a soap opera all the same.

3. Yay, I get to have my wisdom teeth removed </utter sarchasm>. They kept trying to force my head through the headrest, i swear. The IV needle totally freaked me out, some of you know how much I hate them. It was better than having to get it shot directly in. Which I did have to get about 7 times in my mouth. Ow. Pricked my freaking tounge too, and that hurts afterwards. The first one was nice and easy. The second one, they went medieval on me, the only tooth they used a drill on. The third one is the one that I can tell will bug me the most, on top of my mouth. It was buried way up by the root of my molars, they only caught it in a second x-ray. At least I won't have that coming to haunt me later in life.
4. All I can say is, ow. It wasn't bad until the novacane wore off, now it feels like someone's got iron hooks on my molars and is trying to see how many ways my head can streach. I cant eat anything solid, so I'm on a "braces diet" of yougurts, jellos, and milkshakes. The pain takes out any enjoyment once obtained by eating, so consequently, you eat less, less often, and hate every moment of it. Ya loose weight fast that way.
5. Mom gave me some pills to make me feel better. Unfortunately, it was on an empty stomach. An hour later, I loose my lunch all over the carpet. It felt like I was trying to squeeze my stomach until it split in half.
6. Dads got extreme pain in his right side for almost a full day now. Mom whipped out the medical encyclopedia, luckily it can't be appendicitis or gallbladder stuff, unfortunately that means we dont know what it is, and I'm afraid to say, it might be a kidney.

Well, there ya go, all caught up. Longest entry ever.

*sigh* heres the short version.

My laptop lacks the muscle, and the regular computer lacks the memory. So basically, the $80 spent for my early birthday present of WoW is totally and completely wasted ^_^ yay.

I just got WoW early for my birthday ^^ Time for me to delve deeeeep into it for the next few days before school starts.

From: [Wes Foxx] (Sleep... Is for the dead o_O and lazy people. Zzzz)
To: [raynesprite] (Im lazy...I need sleep =p)

Beware my power of guidance o.O

Colored for me by [Zab] ^_^

>_< I woke up today with a freaking HUGE mark on my right forearm >< it feels like a nasty spider bite, but the mark is so swolen that it looks like a blister x_x myuu...

Well, as I knew it would, I tested the waters with my heart. I find them just as turbulent and tained as ever. There's not much room in my back for more knives. My heart by this point, sad to say, is too jaded, and has developed an immunity to breaking this way.

Now, if you really want to know how I feel, do the unthinkable. Actually read these lyrics, and see what they mean to me.



























VNV Nation
"Beloved"




It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white and grey


It's so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you
Circumstances affords me
No second chance to tell you
How much I've missed you


My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don't ask me why I'm here
Something deeper brought me
Than a need to remember


We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still, greater things burned within us
I don't regret the choices that I've made
I know you feel the same


My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed as ours


Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits


My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don't ask me why I'm here
Something deeper brought me
Than a need to remember


My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed as ours


Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits


Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits


Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits





My soul cries to fly on the wings of the heart, but the pain has long since left, and I shall take my own path through this cold, cold winter of emotions around me, even if part of me still remembers the way it flew before, as does anothers.

Gotta love the awesome picture I found ^^ randomness!

FYI- I'm still going to be on randomly when I have anything of purpose to say, but not checking up on anything but messages. You can still reach me on Yahoo and ElfPack and possibly even Furcadia (though I'm rarely if ever on there)

*Sighs* My depression is strong today. Just my music list says it all. From the song underneith this entry to Only Time by Enya to Beloved by VNV Nation (my classic depression song, aka Eternity Awaits) I'd probably be stared at with worried looks if people actually bothered giving me a second glance nowadays. But they don't, won't, and can't, so I'll just take that god damned vacation again. I don't know how long it will be this time but trust me: it will probably be quite a while.

BRAND NEW LYRICS


"Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't"


i am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
i am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..


i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
cuz you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.


Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go..


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.


this is the grace that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend,
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone,
this is the rise and the fall.


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.


~~~

Beware the incoming rush of teen angst and seemingly unprompted agression. I'm getting into one of my pissy moods and I feel like resisting the urge to take the usual vacation.

Gah! Once again our internet took a mysterious dive. Damn local ISP, even if it IS broadband.

Well the battle between kara and jess over kat is over now it seems, kara's left ElfPack and kat and jess celebrated their quarter-year anniversary. Sadly kat's gonna be gone for a few weeks so jess is gonna be lonely

Finally got to talk to paula some, but then she had to go again. At least it was her last day of school so hopfully she should be able to be on more.

I'm gonna be online a bit less during the day, though still pretty frequently. I'll be mastering all my gamecube games, reading Redwall books, and watching tv, movies, and re-reading my online stuff, from webcomics like http://www.dominic-deegan.com to story archives like http://www.furnation.com/bluefish/nwa/ to watching flashtoons like http://www.illwillpress.com

http://clairvoyance.hp.infoseek.co.jp/nightmare.html

My mind works this way too sometimes. Especially the way they can summon weapons made of energy like that.

great vV we just had to watch Pirates of the Carribian with our family friends visiting us here in indiana on the one night in what seems like forever that Paula was on. I never get to see her anymore, damnit, I miss her Vv

Random rememberance; I've been a member of Elftown for 9 months today ^^