im changing....and its weird..cuz i thought that i would be the way i was for a long time and im changing...i was you know a "punk kid" and now im an "emo kid" and now what next? its scary im not tryin to change myself its just kinda happening i dont even listen to the same music any more..damn it....and all of the friends ive had are disappearing....and im not doin it....and i dont like it.....but oh well i think im changing for the better.... some of the friends i had were just makin it worse for me and its helpin me now because im gonna play softball and i cant be doin the shit ive been doin if im gonna play
THATS RIGHT IM GONNA PLAY SOFTBALL ANYONE THAT AS A PROBLEM WITH IT CAN REALLY KISS MY ASS AND KEEP THE COMPLAINTS TO THEMSELVES I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT....i love the sport and im gonna play hell or high water its gonna kill me but im gonna fuckin play.....luv yall................later......

you think you like someone....then you realize why?...why like him? i mean if hes never gonna ask you out then why bother? you like him and he likes you but yet he doesnt ask you out...why is that? guys are so complicated and yet he calls me comlicated....hes more complicated and complex than me.....but i still love him any way...(but not like that) i do so much for him with nothing in return but then again i obligated to..for some reason i dont know why but its ok with me....

went to a concert...it was awesome...i dont have too much to say cuz im too fuckin tired and i cant think right now...so laters

actually the concert was fuckin awesome...and me and ky are gonna go to the next one...and for your information..im over max again and i broke up with daniel (which was oh so totally stupid of me to do...just be cause of the reason i did it) but i now know that ky does like me and i hope that i end up goin out with im..but if not then thats cool...

well ya know what sucks....when you find out that one of your friends which you were trying to help in the first place got arrested and his dad came and got him and wanted to go kick his friends ass and course being the kind of friend he is didnt tell his dad where his friend was and because of that his dad and brother beat him up and now hes in the hospital in icu exactly.....i just dont like the fact that i cant help him and i want to but what can i do? nothing...and it sucks ass.........why did this have to happen to him, why?(im about to cry cuz i love him to death and hes like a close friend of mine and theres nothing i can do to help him!!!!!!)

well i figured out that i can play the bass guitar and it was the first time i had ever picked one up...actually im really bad but only because it was my first time to play so :P

and....I WANT TO GO OUT WITH MAX!!!!! and he knows that (im only 10 months and some days younger than you are and ur most recent ex was only 15 and ive had more experience with guys than she has so please give me a chance you never know until u try....)

ok im writing in my diary again...in hope that a certain person will read it...... there is this guy that i like alot and i cant help but like him...hes just so sweet and i was at his house earlier debating on weather or not to ask him out and well i didnt but i dont know if i should in the first place...but then again i really want to go out with him.... i dont know its all confusing to me...and the thing is is that ive tried to not like him but it just doesnt work....so yeah...Question for the person this is for "why wont u ask me out so i dont have to?"

shit this sucks..... im so fucking tired and i really dont want to go anywhere tonight but i guess i will well actually i kinda do want to leave cuz everyone here is getting fuckin annoying as hell and there pissin me off..... well ive actually had fun the last few days but i think im gonna try to find different people to hang out with cuz the ones im hanging out with now are just getting me in trouble and im falling deeper and deeper into a bad part of my life and i want out before i cant get out....i usually get high every night if not every other night i smoke, drink and every thing else and i want to stop but im not sure i can...i love my friends and dont want to leave them but at the same time i do.....there bringing me down with them and i really cant have that at all.....i want to start over and not do alot of things i have done...not mentioning any of them....but ive turned into a bad person and i used to be a good person...i used to atually do my homework and be nice to everyone and now im just nice to certain people and im bitchy to everyone else...its just not like me to do that....im totally different from what i used to be and right now i dont like it too much...im glad ive changed but...nevermind.....and plus i have to change what i do cuz of a job i want they drug test and drugs might be in my system cuz i cant remember the last time i smoked weed and i dont know how long shrooms stay in your system either well im leaving now.....LaTeRs

bla bla bla......why wont anyone leave me alone? i get bitched at for goin to the skatepark by my fuckin brother and his bitch ass is fuckin pissin me off...if you know my brother you should know how he is.....hes an asshole, a piece of shit that wants to control my fuckin life just because he doesnt have one.... and thinks he needs to control someone well it aint gonna be me so i say fuck off.....well im done now bye (it seems like i never have anything good to say any more, thats because i dont)

hey hey well i havent written in here in awhile so ill say a few words and then leave cuz i have an english test to study for and i have yet to look at the paper yet.....dude there is a concert on Dec the 18 and BRENDAN is gonna be in it....how awesome is that i swear hes so sexy and hes good looking too....hahahahaha HE WAS SANTA CLAUSE A FEW DAYS AGO he was a skinny santa but a hott one at that......well yea im done with my pathetic story and now i get to send a message to [skirrt] and see if he'll answer me....god i hope so i met him the last time i went to seattle and were still friends and im gonna go see him this summer too....hes hott but he doesnt have a pic of him on his page DAMN IT!!!!!!

man...never get high and drive it sucks ass (lve never done it but i know people that have).....so i took brendan home earlier and me and him never talk to each other anymore and i took him home...how wierd is that we had little to talk about but it was cool i got to talk to brendan for about 30 minutes in my car but yea luv ya brendan, your so funny....but yea nothin changed since yesterday so laters

so yea....the past 3 days have been really crazy
[MisShapen Chaos] is goin out with Dan and she also got in trouble today for goin off campus with him but it was by our chemistry teacher and lately shes been a bitch (not [MisShapen Chaos] but our chemistry teacher...... and as for me well ive been talkin to the guy that i like which is [human abuse] but i really cant give you any info about it cuz i really have no idea whats goin on with us...but its ok i think but yea i need to stop talkin about it cuz i dont want to freak him out any more than he already is especially about me talkin about liking him to my friend right in front of him....i bet hes weirded out by it (im sorry)
and another thing if anyone knows PEASEMAN can you tell him that just because i go to where hes at doesnt mean that i want to talk to him the only reason i go to where hes at is because of Jonathan not him and the whole fuckin world doesnt revolve around him,(which he seems to think so)

well hey whats up everyone me not much just talkin to the guy that i like on AIM....weird thing is, is that he knows i like him its just weird to talk to him and know that he knows i like him.....well anyways for those who like to keep up with my life (god my life could be as soap opera or something) me and Peaseman broke up well actually he broke up with me for this other chick which by the way is a ho and i really actually liked her too but well never mind im gonna be nice...but yea i really hope that Peaseman didnt think that i would be upset for very long because im not upset i was when i talked to him and that was just because he lied to me about everything he told me and i knew he lied to me and it upset me to actually catch him in a lie and some people know that lying is the only thing that can hurt me really bad if i found out that you lied to me i would end up getting pissed at you and not talkin to you for awhile like 2 or 3 months so yea lying to me isnt a good thing cuz thats the only time i ever cry is if someone lied to me.....and if i cry you know that you did something wrong but yea anyways........ i really dont want to read les miseables its too long and its not really boring or anything but i really dont want to read it.....well sam and DREW finally broke up and thank GOD that they did cuz DREW YOUR A FUCKIN ASSHOLE, "I DONT HAVE THE TIME FOR A GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW" yea right whatever you have time you dont have a job and you dont have a house so you dont do a god damn thing all fuckin day but you have to be an asshole to everyone well ive said enough for one day i think im gonna leave before i say something i shouldnt

well i dont really have too much to say at the moment except that i love peaseman to death and he knows it too........laters

ok well considerin i had been talkin about peaseman in my first few diary entries...i figured out where he had been goin..to his girlfriends house..yeah he cheated on me isnt it great? and i was worried that he was gonna get hurt again ok yeah i got hurt instead...so go figure...

hey ya...... ok well for the past week i havent seen my boyfriend but twice in five days course im not mad or anything its just odd is all, the only thing that has been gettin to me is where hes goin and what hes doin, hes gonna get hurt again cept probably worse than before....its just scary that i know that there is a possibility that i may 1 never see him again or 2 hes gonna get hurt.....maybe im overreacting but i can still worry about him right?

SKIPPING SCHOOL.......GETING DRIVERS LISCENCE*.......READING LES MISERABLES........DOING CHEMISTRY HOMEWORK......SPENDING TIME WITH A FRIEND OF MY MOMS.......GOIN TO LAMPASAS(DONT ASK).....BOREDOM


yea well thats just about it isnt my life so intersting? not really but yea....dude im actually getting along with a person i didnt think i would ever get a long with its scary laterz

hey sami happy 16th birthday!!!! sorry i wasnt at school for it.....

um.....well i didnt go to the concert i dont know why i didnt i should have though....... but yea i have to take my little brother trick or treating tonight wow so much fun not well at least i get to dress up for it im gonna wear what i wore one day to school and i had several guys tell me that i was hot... and thats why i dont wear skirts because of that reason right there.


School sucks and you know it ive got too much homework well not this weekend but i usually do have homework every single fuckin day it sucks ass and you know it....... yea dont ask

and the world said why are our teenagers so angry? hmmm i wonder why?

BILLY TALENT (VOICES OF VIOLENCE)

Dont wait for a knight in shinin armor
your Savorous reflected in the mirror
These flowers have grown from blood stain on the ground
Go rake them leaves off your grass and my grave
The fact is everyone bleeds when they shave
Theres no use, so dont denie there just the same

We'll take it back.....
Voices of violence, voices of violence
We'll take it back.....
Voices of violence, voices of violence

These cowboys will ride off in the sun set
Once there toys have doned another profit
Back fire, these smokin guns will never rest
Unleash the skeletons from the closet
These stragers like friends that you've never meet
They'll send them shipments to hold my gun

We'll take it back.....
Voices of violence, Voices of violence
We'll take it back......
Voices of Violence, Voices of violence

Even after im dead and burried
I'll still remeber, I'll still rememeber
Even after im dead and burried
I'll still remember, I'll still rememeber
Even after im dead and burried
I'll come back for ya, I'll come back for ya

Well take it back....
Voices of violence, Voices of violence
Well take it back....
Voices of violence, Voices of violence

Voices of violence will always be heard
Voices of violence, Voices of violence
Voices of violence will always be heard
Voice of violence, voices of violence

so my mom actually let me say the night with my boyfriend last night its kinda creepy that she would let me ahahaha well yea i had fun last night we were at a friends house until early this morning and then we went to his house and we got woken up by his sister and it was 8 and thats what time i had to be home so i got in trouble but not too much. i get my DL monday yea i get to drive people around alot yippie well i dont mind but i will if i dont like you and i have to take you somewhere that i dont wanna go to. ah and i have to get a job somewhere my mom said so poo on her i cant do school and a job at the same time plus have a bf not gonna happen and im deffinitely not gonna give up one for the other two.


dude i dont think im gonna go to the concert tonight but ah well all i wanted to see was lint.... hey jackie do you have a lint cd or do you know anyone that does? love ya's

hey im not to happy right now ive never been so up set in my entire life like i said in my last diary entry my boyfriend got hurt and lucky me got to watch it happen so im all freaked out and upset and ive been cryin for the past hour and i really have no clue why though my boyfriend is alright i have nothing to worry about but then again i do and its all complicated and messed up and all that shit well ive got stuff to do (yea right) well actually i have to try and find my boyfriend so i can talk to him but i cant seem to find him i have 1 more place to call and if hes not there then i know where hes at. well laters

so um my weekend pretty much sucked my boyfriend got hurt but im not sayin how or why so dont talk to me about it unless you were there or have heard about it, ok. but other than that it was alright. well dont have too much to say right now cuz all ive got on my mind is what i cant tell you so its kinda pointless to write anymore than i already have. laterz

well uh today was there ive been spacin out again and thats not good for samantha cuz when she spaces out she doesnt do work or talk to anyone and she has priminisions too and they all come true so the fewer primimicions i have the better off ill be and my boyfriend can tell you that ive had 3 since ive been goin out with him and ive only been goin out with him for a week and i dont do that ever....with anyone. freaky but the wierdest one i think ive had so far has been the one about his phone number i know it and ive only seen it once and not even that and its kinda like the number has been permanently branded in my head and i dont know where it came from well enough about my crazy....stupid....boring life and i will let you get back to yours.