hey bitches...what up? well im so fuckin tired right now and i feel like throwing up at the moment....i swear to god that if certain people dont leave me alone i WILL kill them..im just so sick and tired of all this shit....never again will i trust any of those fuckers...just to let you know its just certain ppl so dont assume anything please....the poser ppl are GAY!!! "look at me i cut myself"-chick that was sent do dupal for "cutting herself and trying to kill herself" i swear all these ppl gettin sent to dupal its fucked up and its only the ones that want attention...well there gettin it alright and they fuckin deserve it....oh guess what i probably have to take chemistry over cuz fuckin mrs robinson is a bitch....i cant do anything to make my grade change and she knows that..the only thing that i can do is pass my 9 weeks assesment and i hope to god i do pass it cuz it will bring my grade up alot...and the end of the nine weeks is over friday.....well i think i found a guy that i like but its fuckin bad cuz he knows who i am but he doesnt talk to me at all. and i refuse to say his name cuz a lot of ppl know him on here....ill figure something out i hope cuz hes totally awesome and i want to get to know him better so if you would like to know who it is and would like to help id greatly appriciate it....coughcough [curiously_qualm] coughcough well im must sleep so laters

well..bla fucking bla im bored outta my mind i aint got nothing to do im still sick and tired.....my throat hurts and i cant talk all that well...damn...i have to go to chemistry today for class and tutoring grrr i hate this i hate this......on a better note though i had so much fuckin fun this weekend besides gettin sick...i went to 2 partys (some of you maybe confused..go with it)

isnt there a concert friday? anyone?

well...lets see..its raining and there is a concert tonight wow i hope we still get to go...and as of right now were still havin it so ~*crosses fingers*~ lets hope so..but yea anyway...my bf ky is bein an asshole to me right now..and i dont know why but he just said one fuckin thing to me but oddly enough it didnt upset me at all but now that i think about it...what is his deal? what did i do? i didnt do a god damn thing its him and i really dont care at the moment i hope hes happy with himself the one day that i needed him he wasnt there....it sucks but ill get over it like i do everything else....and well laterz

sittin my ass at home by myself...my mom and stepdad arent home and scotts at baseball practice and connor is at his grandmothers house...so im here all alone eating oatmeal...i should be reading To kill a mocking bird but i really dont want to right now....i actually get to see my show tonight yeah...well id better go and watch the one that i missed so i dont get lost with what im watching....

bla....damn....this is weird im hungry but then again im not, there is nothing i want to eat there is nothing i can eat really..but its ok..ill eat later or something.....kys still sick and hes finally goin to the doctor tomorrow...yeah maybe hell get better maybe.... he seems to think that hes gonna be put in the hospital but i dont think he will hes gone a week with bein sick and hasnt gone if he was gonna be put in the hospital he would already be there.....well im gonna go look for food and go to the restroom ill try to think of more to say so laterz

shit...well i hate when people act like dumbasses....and i know plenty of them right about now...i hate some people and the way that they act...well damn it...never again will i go out with someone from robinson ever...there mental no offense daniel but yall are...but yeah i must go...i have to go to sleep........

well damn it...i was hopin that ky would call..but he hasnt yet..oh well ill call him tomorrow or something....no one know how much i like him well [Masqued Afflictions] and [MisShapen Chaos] know...but dude..it aint fair....there is a FOB concert in march and i really want to go and its only 14 dollars but i dont have a way there...and my mother doesnt seem to want to take me and i would take myself but im not gettin lost in dallas...if only she would go with me...damn....well im bored now ive been home all fuckin day studyin for my lit terms test and im totally not ready to take it tomorrow but oh well ill fail it then retake it later...it works....[MuShPuFf] [Doober] and adam came to my house last night at like 12:45 to give me a beer...ok i dont drink beer well i can i just choose not to..i think im gonna drink it tonight if ky dont call before 8:00......well laters....word of advice never ever stay home unless you have to, it sucks....i willingly stayed home with my brother and i almost killed him...so yeah....bye

i broke up with daniel today...i really didnt want to but i had to...well i didnt have to but i did....but only because i found out that this guy likes me and hes goin home in august and i want to see if i can get with...and misti seems to think i have a crush on him...well i do like him but hes the one that wanted me to call and the one that wanted me to come over to his house and the one that wanted me to stay at his house earlier today and the one that gonna call me last night..true i called him a lot today but i never actually go to talk to him the phone was busy so :P but so what if i like him....im intitled to my own opinion and i like him its not a crush but i do like him enough to go out with him if thats what he wants im gonna find out tonight i think.... well enough about ky everyones gonna get tired of hearin about him soon...so im gonna shut up now..laters

im changing....and its weird..cuz i thought that i would be the way i was for a long time and im changing...i was you know a "punk kid" and now im an "emo kid" and now what next? its scary im not tryin to change myself its just kinda happening i dont even listen to the same music any more..damn it....and all of the friends ive had are disappearing....and im not doin it....and i dont like it.....but oh well i think im changing for the better.... some of the friends i had were just makin it worse for me and its helpin me now because im gonna play softball and i cant be doin the shit ive been doin if im gonna play
THATS RIGHT IM GONNA PLAY SOFTBALL ANYONE THAT AS A PROBLEM WITH IT CAN REALLY KISS MY ASS AND KEEP THE COMPLAINTS TO THEMSELVES I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT....i love the sport and im gonna play hell or high water its gonna kill me but im gonna fuckin play.....luv yall................later......

you think you like someone....then you realize why?...why like him? i mean if hes never gonna ask you out then why bother? you like him and he likes you but yet he doesnt ask you out...why is that? guys are so complicated and yet he calls me comlicated....hes more complicated and complex than me.....but i still love him any way...(but not like that) i do so much for him with nothing in return but then again i obligated to..for some reason i dont know why but its ok with me....

went to a concert...it was awesome...i dont have too much to say cuz im too fuckin tired and i cant think right now...so laters

actually the concert was fuckin awesome...and me and ky are gonna go to the next one...and for your information..im over max again and i broke up with daniel (which was oh so totally stupid of me to do...just be cause of the reason i did it) but i now know that ky does like me and i hope that i end up goin out with im..but if not then thats cool...

well ya know what sucks....when you find out that one of your friends which you were trying to help in the first place got arrested and his dad came and got him and wanted to go kick his friends ass and course being the kind of friend he is didnt tell his dad where his friend was and because of that his dad and brother beat him up and now hes in the hospital in icu exactly.....i just dont like the fact that i cant help him and i want to but what can i do? nothing...and it sucks ass.........why did this have to happen to him, why?(im about to cry cuz i love him to death and hes like a close friend of mine and theres nothing i can do to help him!!!!!!)

well i figured out that i can play the bass guitar and it was the first time i had ever picked one up...actually im really bad but only because it was my first time to play so :P

and....I WANT TO GO OUT WITH MAX!!!!! and he knows that (im only 10 months and some days younger than you are and ur most recent ex was only 15 and ive had more experience with guys than she has so please give me a chance you never know until u try....)

ok im writing in my diary again...in hope that a certain person will read it...... there is this guy that i like alot and i cant help but like him...hes just so sweet and i was at his house earlier debating on weather or not to ask him out and well i didnt but i dont know if i should in the first place...but then again i really want to go out with him.... i dont know its all confusing to me...and the thing is is that ive tried to not like him but it just doesnt work....so yeah...Question for the person this is for "why wont u ask me out so i dont have to?"

shit this sucks..... im so fucking tired and i really dont want to go anywhere tonight but i guess i will well actually i kinda do want to leave cuz everyone here is getting fuckin annoying as hell and there pissin me off..... well ive actually had fun the last few days but i think im gonna try to find different people to hang out with cuz the ones im hanging out with now are just getting me in trouble and im falling deeper and deeper into a bad part of my life and i want out before i cant get out....i usually get high every night if not every other night i smoke, drink and every thing else and i want to stop but im not sure i can...i love my friends and dont want to leave them but at the same time i do.....there bringing me down with them and i really cant have that at all.....i want to start over and not do alot of things i have done...not mentioning any of them....but ive turned into a bad person and i used to be a good person...i used to atually do my homework and be nice to everyone and now im just nice to certain people and im bitchy to everyone else...its just not like me to do that....im totally different from what i used to be and right now i dont like it too much...im glad ive changed but...nevermind.....and plus i have to change what i do cuz of a job i want they drug test and drugs might be in my system cuz i cant remember the last time i smoked weed and i dont know how long shrooms stay in your system either well im leaving now.....LaTeRs

bla bla bla......why wont anyone leave me alone? i get bitched at for goin to the skatepark by my fuckin brother and his bitch ass is fuckin pissin me off...if you know my brother you should know how he is.....hes an asshole, a piece of shit that wants to control my fuckin life just because he doesnt have one.... and thinks he needs to control someone well it aint gonna be me so i say fuck off.....well im done now bye (it seems like i never have anything good to say any more, thats because i dont)

hey hey well i havent written in here in awhile so ill say a few words and then leave cuz i have an english test to study for and i have yet to look at the paper yet.....dude there is a concert on Dec the 18 and BRENDAN is gonna be in it....how awesome is that i swear hes so sexy and hes good looking too....hahahahaha HE WAS SANTA CLAUSE A FEW DAYS AGO he was a skinny santa but a hott one at that......well yea im done with my pathetic story and now i get to send a message to [skirrt] and see if he'll answer me....god i hope so i met him the last time i went to seattle and were still friends and im gonna go see him this summer too....hes hott but he doesnt have a pic of him on his page DAMN IT!!!!!!

man...never get high and drive it sucks ass (lve never done it but i know people that have).....so i took brendan home earlier and me and him never talk to each other anymore and i took him home...how wierd is that we had little to talk about but it was cool i got to talk to brendan for about 30 minutes in my car but yea luv ya brendan, your so funny....but yea nothin changed since yesterday so laters

so yea....the past 3 days have been really crazy
[MisShapen Chaos] is goin out with Dan and she also got in trouble today for goin off campus with him but it was by our chemistry teacher and lately shes been a bitch (not [MisShapen Chaos] but our chemistry teacher...... and as for me well ive been talkin to the guy that i like which is [human abuse] but i really cant give you any info about it cuz i really have no idea whats goin on with us...but its ok i think but yea i need to stop talkin about it cuz i dont want to freak him out any more than he already is especially about me talkin about liking him to my friend right in front of him....i bet hes weirded out by it (im sorry)
and another thing if anyone knows PEASEMAN can you tell him that just because i go to where hes at doesnt mean that i want to talk to him the only reason i go to where hes at is because of Jonathan not him and the whole fuckin world doesnt revolve around him,(which he seems to think so)

well hey whats up everyone me not much just talkin to the guy that i like on AIM....weird thing is, is that he knows i like him its just weird to talk to him and know that he knows i like him.....well anyways for those who like to keep up with my life (god my life could be as soap opera or something) me and Peaseman broke up well actually he broke up with me for this other chick which by the way is a ho and i really actually liked her too but well never mind im gonna be nice...but yea i really hope that Peaseman didnt think that i would be upset for very long because im not upset i was when i talked to him and that was just because he lied to me about everything he told me and i knew he lied to me and it upset me to actually catch him in a lie and some people know that lying is the only thing that can hurt me really bad if i found out that you lied to me i would end up getting pissed at you and not talkin to you for awhile like 2 or 3 months so yea lying to me isnt a good thing cuz thats the only time i ever cry is if someone lied to me.....and if i cry you know that you did something wrong but yea anyways........ i really dont want to read les miseables its too long and its not really boring or anything but i really dont want to read it.....well sam and DREW finally broke up and thank GOD that they did cuz DREW YOUR A FUCKIN ASSHOLE, "I DONT HAVE THE TIME FOR A GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW" yea right whatever you have time you dont have a job and you dont have a house so you dont do a god damn thing all fuckin day but you have to be an asshole to everyone well ive said enough for one day i think im gonna leave before i say something i shouldnt

well i dont really have too much to say at the moment except that i love peaseman to death and he knows it too........laters

ok well considerin i had been talkin about peaseman in my first few diary entries...i figured out where he had been goin..to his girlfriends house..yeah he cheated on me isnt it great? and i was worried that he was gonna get hurt again ok yeah i got hurt instead...so go figure...