well im totally bored...i have nothing to do im talkin to cort on aim but thats about it for now and im sorry about those who dont like him...kiss my ass hes an awesome person once u actually talk to him....but anyways if you have any idea what color i should die my hair then tell me cuz i want to know....because my mom is actually gonna let me color it whatever color i want too...awesome...shes also lettin me get my nose pierced yet again..woot.....

llew mi derob...tnac uoy llet....dan mi niod siht yb ym fles..ahahahah...fi uoy nac dnatsrednu siht llet em...retal



(well im bored...cant you tell...and im doin this by my self..hahahaha... if you can understand this tell me...later)

and yet again my mouth has been my weakest link..yesterday i said some shit that i shouldnt have and i was bein mean to a certain person for no reason and i just hope she and he will forgive me...and i really was tryin to be nice to her i really was but just sometimes it just doesnt work all that well especially if im in a pissy mood already- she doesnt help much in that area....im still tryin to watch what i say around them cuz i really dont want anyone to hate me so i am tryin to keep it all to my self and just not say anything to her or about her...and im sorry i was bein mean to her yesterday i wasnt tryin to i didnt even realize i was doin it until sara told me i was and i was like shit not again (my mind likes to wander off and just start sayin shit and then when i decide to come back to reality people are mad at me because of stuff i said and i really dont realize im doin it and i wont know unless someone tells me that im doin it...... and i really didnt mean to snap at her in front of him or at all but she was makin me mad cuz i was tryin to talk to her and be nice to her but i guess she doesnt want that so i just got mad and started sayin shit that botherd me about her to her face just to show her how it felt to be yelled at for no reason and i guess it backfired on me and now im the bad guy but i guess thats what i get......but im tired of tryin to be nice to people who dont wanna be nice to me im always the nice person that just take what people have to say about me but with her its different and i guess its because me and her will never get along..i even knew i wasnt gonna like her the first time i met her but i was bein nice to her cuz i didnt know her and i still dont thats why im TRYIN to be nice but sometime i just cant do it...and yes i do have my little moods where im bitchy to certain people and she just happened to be the one that i was mad at, at the time and instead of takin it out on something i bitched at her for it and im so sorry that i did that i really didnt mean to and really didnt want to.....i dont want to turn into the psyco bitch that everyone already thinks of me as......im done with everything no more drinkin with people other than sara and smokin weed....im just tired of it all...never again will i be nice to anyone that dont deserve it if your not nice to me i wont be nice to you.....people want me to have a mental break down, dont they? there is only one thing that keeps me from not doin it and its the sole fact that i know everyone doesnt hate me but idk how long i can stand it.......

well this has been an actually ok day....remember when i said that i was embarrased cuz of matt tellin william that i thought he was hott? well i thought i was embarrased but im not anymore and besides i just think that william is hot i mean i dont like him or anything cuz i dont know him at all and even though i would like to get to know him i dont think i would ever in a million years even consider goin out with him just because me and him dont do the same shit we like some of the same shit but i party he doesnt hes fuckin smart as hell and im fuckin stupid (sabrina dont say a word...:P) but yea i kinda told little mike that i liked him tonight...after i did it i was like wow did i actually say that? and well i did and i feel better about it now but its still odd as fuck..oh well what can you do you cant change the past or what you said...its cool though and he understands...but the sad part is is that he doesnt think to highly of him self and it not fair to him..cuz he is so cute and funny and sweet that he doesnt need to think like that ever.....well i need sleep and i will write in here as soon as i can...

i think i will crawl in to a hole and stay there forever.....well William Armstrong from waco high now knows that i think hes hott because of a certain person telling him right in front of me....it sucked cuz hes so hott that i could just fall over and die if he just came up to me and started talkin to me outta no where i really would but i guess him knowing isnt gonna change much just that he knows and i cant really change it now anyway but yeah im embarrased as shit right now....

hey bitches...what up? well im so fuckin tired right now and i feel like throwing up at the moment....i swear to god that if certain people dont leave me alone i WILL kill them..im just so sick and tired of all this shit....never again will i trust any of those fuckers...just to let you know its just certain ppl so dont assume anything please....the poser ppl are GAY!!! "look at me i cut myself"-chick that was sent do dupal for "cutting herself and trying to kill herself" i swear all these ppl gettin sent to dupal its fucked up and its only the ones that want attention...well there gettin it alright and they fuckin deserve it....oh guess what i probably have to take chemistry over cuz fuckin mrs robinson is a bitch....i cant do anything to make my grade change and she knows that..the only thing that i can do is pass my 9 weeks assesment and i hope to god i do pass it cuz it will bring my grade up alot...and the end of the nine weeks is over friday.....well i think i found a guy that i like but its fuckin bad cuz he knows who i am but he doesnt talk to me at all. and i refuse to say his name cuz a lot of ppl know him on here....ill figure something out i hope cuz hes totally awesome and i want to get to know him better so if you would like to know who it is and would like to help id greatly appriciate it....coughcough [curiously_qualm] coughcough well im must sleep so laters

well..bla fucking bla im bored outta my mind i aint got nothing to do im still sick and tired.....my throat hurts and i cant talk all that well...damn...i have to go to chemistry today for class and tutoring grrr i hate this i hate this......on a better note though i had so much fuckin fun this weekend besides gettin sick...i went to 2 partys (some of you maybe confused..go with it)

isnt there a concert friday? anyone?

well...lets see..its raining and there is a concert tonight wow i hope we still get to go...and as of right now were still havin it so ~*crosses fingers*~ lets hope so..but yea anyway...my bf ky is bein an asshole to me right now..and i dont know why but he just said one fuckin thing to me but oddly enough it didnt upset me at all but now that i think about it...what is his deal? what did i do? i didnt do a god damn thing its him and i really dont care at the moment i hope hes happy with himself the one day that i needed him he wasnt there....it sucks but ill get over it like i do everything else....and well laterz

sittin my ass at home by myself...my mom and stepdad arent home and scotts at baseball practice and connor is at his grandmothers house...so im here all alone eating oatmeal...i should be reading To kill a mocking bird but i really dont want to right now....i actually get to see my show tonight yeah...well id better go and watch the one that i missed so i dont get lost with what im watching....

bla....damn....this is weird im hungry but then again im not, there is nothing i want to eat there is nothing i can eat really..but its ok..ill eat later or something.....kys still sick and hes finally goin to the doctor tomorrow...yeah maybe hell get better maybe.... he seems to think that hes gonna be put in the hospital but i dont think he will hes gone a week with bein sick and hasnt gone if he was gonna be put in the hospital he would already be there.....well im gonna go look for food and go to the restroom ill try to think of more to say so laterz

shit...well i hate when people act like dumbasses....and i know plenty of them right about now...i hate some people and the way that they act...well damn it...never again will i go out with someone from robinson ever...there mental no offense daniel but yall are...but yeah i must go...i have to go to sleep........

well damn it...i was hopin that ky would call..but he hasnt yet..oh well ill call him tomorrow or something....no one know how much i like him well [Masqued Afflictions] and [MisShapen Chaos] know...but dude..it aint fair....there is a FOB concert in march and i really want to go and its only 14 dollars but i dont have a way there...and my mother doesnt seem to want to take me and i would take myself but im not gettin lost in dallas...if only she would go with me...damn....well im bored now ive been home all fuckin day studyin for my lit terms test and im totally not ready to take it tomorrow but oh well ill fail it then retake it later...it works....[MuShPuFf] [Doober] and adam came to my house last night at like 12:45 to give me a beer...ok i dont drink beer well i can i just choose not to..i think im gonna drink it tonight if ky dont call before 8:00......well laters....word of advice never ever stay home unless you have to, it sucks....i willingly stayed home with my brother and i almost killed him...so yeah....bye

i broke up with daniel today...i really didnt want to but i had to...well i didnt have to but i did....but only because i found out that this guy likes me and hes goin home in august and i want to see if i can get with...and misti seems to think i have a crush on him...well i do like him but hes the one that wanted me to call and the one that wanted me to come over to his house and the one that wanted me to stay at his house earlier today and the one that gonna call me last night..true i called him a lot today but i never actually go to talk to him the phone was busy so :P but so what if i like him....im intitled to my own opinion and i like him its not a crush but i do like him enough to go out with him if thats what he wants im gonna find out tonight i think.... well enough about ky everyones gonna get tired of hearin about him soon...so im gonna shut up now..laters

im changing....and its weird..cuz i thought that i would be the way i was for a long time and im changing...i was you know a "punk kid" and now im an "emo kid" and now what next? its scary im not tryin to change myself its just kinda happening i dont even listen to the same music any more..damn it....and all of the friends ive had are disappearing....and im not doin it....and i dont like it.....but oh well i think im changing for the better.... some of the friends i had were just makin it worse for me and its helpin me now because im gonna play softball and i cant be doin the shit ive been doin if im gonna play
THATS RIGHT IM GONNA PLAY SOFTBALL ANYONE THAT AS A PROBLEM WITH IT CAN REALLY KISS MY ASS AND KEEP THE COMPLAINTS TO THEMSELVES I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT....i love the sport and im gonna play hell or high water its gonna kill me but im gonna fuckin play.....luv yall................later......

you think you like someone....then you realize why?...why like him? i mean if hes never gonna ask you out then why bother? you like him and he likes you but yet he doesnt ask you out...why is that? guys are so complicated and yet he calls me comlicated....hes more complicated and complex than me.....but i still love him any way...(but not like that) i do so much for him with nothing in return but then again i obligated to..for some reason i dont know why but its ok with me....

went to a concert...it was awesome...i dont have too much to say cuz im too fuckin tired and i cant think right now...so laters

actually the concert was fuckin awesome...and me and ky are gonna go to the next one...and for your information..im over max again and i broke up with daniel (which was oh so totally stupid of me to do...just be cause of the reason i did it) but i now know that ky does like me and i hope that i end up goin out with im..but if not then thats cool...

well ya know what sucks....when you find out that one of your friends which you were trying to help in the first place got arrested and his dad came and got him and wanted to go kick his friends ass and course being the kind of friend he is didnt tell his dad where his friend was and because of that his dad and brother beat him up and now hes in the hospital in icu exactly.....i just dont like the fact that i cant help him and i want to but what can i do? nothing...and it sucks ass.........why did this have to happen to him, why?(im about to cry cuz i love him to death and hes like a close friend of mine and theres nothing i can do to help him!!!!!!)

well i figured out that i can play the bass guitar and it was the first time i had ever picked one up...actually im really bad but only because it was my first time to play so :P

and....I WANT TO GO OUT WITH MAX!!!!! and he knows that (im only 10 months and some days younger than you are and ur most recent ex was only 15 and ive had more experience with guys than she has so please give me a chance you never know until u try....)

ok im writing in my diary again...in hope that a certain person will read it...... there is this guy that i like alot and i cant help but like him...hes just so sweet and i was at his house earlier debating on weather or not to ask him out and well i didnt but i dont know if i should in the first place...but then again i really want to go out with him.... i dont know its all confusing to me...and the thing is is that ive tried to not like him but it just doesnt work....so yeah...Question for the person this is for "why wont u ask me out so i dont have to?"

shit this sucks..... im so fucking tired and i really dont want to go anywhere tonight but i guess i will well actually i kinda do want to leave cuz everyone here is getting fuckin annoying as hell and there pissin me off..... well ive actually had fun the last few days but i think im gonna try to find different people to hang out with cuz the ones im hanging out with now are just getting me in trouble and im falling deeper and deeper into a bad part of my life and i want out before i cant get out....i usually get high every night if not every other night i smoke, drink and every thing else and i want to stop but im not sure i can...i love my friends and dont want to leave them but at the same time i do.....there bringing me down with them and i really cant have that at all.....i want to start over and not do alot of things i have done...not mentioning any of them....but ive turned into a bad person and i used to be a good person...i used to atually do my homework and be nice to everyone and now im just nice to certain people and im bitchy to everyone else...its just not like me to do that....im totally different from what i used to be and right now i dont like it too much...im glad ive changed but...nevermind.....and plus i have to change what i do cuz of a job i want they drug test and drugs might be in my system cuz i cant remember the last time i smoked weed and i dont know how long shrooms stay in your system either well im leaving now.....LaTeRs

bla bla bla......why wont anyone leave me alone? i get bitched at for goin to the skatepark by my fuckin brother and his bitch ass is fuckin pissin me off...if you know my brother you should know how he is.....hes an asshole, a piece of shit that wants to control my fuckin life just because he doesnt have one.... and thinks he needs to control someone well it aint gonna be me so i say fuck off.....well im done now bye (it seems like i never have anything good to say any more, thats because i dont)