A message from my friend [kayletor] Its indepth and revealing, one could learn much from it. Thats why I post it.
Alas my dear friend, I fear I cannot accompany you in this holy faith in our Lord Almighty for I still have much to do before I succumb to His presence. I have to right His children's wrongs, I have to hurt some, help more, and enlighten those who I can; but all this I must do without God. I will bring The Light to those who I can, but I will not bring them to the hand of our Lord myself, that is their own decision.
A perfect love, is that His offering to me? Again, I must decline. One of the greatest bores in this entire universe is perfection. I'd much rather be second best, or even farther down the line. My logic is contestable, but my will in this matter is steadfast and only strengthens when met with resistance. I shall love and be pained through love, for I love those who some of your people leave behind. I bring light to those who people have forsaken, those who are left behind. I bring light to the lost, instead of spread it around with the rest of the world. I find those who fallen below, and turn them back into the light.
This world is beautiful, in it's textures, tastes, and sensations. Now I have been marked as a heathen. Heretic in the name of Our Lord And Savior Himself. I know the ways of Satan, I know the ways of the Goddess through Paganism and Wicca, and finally I know the ways of demons through my own studies. I have traveled through different realms of existence, most of which left me shaken and feeling empty, but I learnt from my experiences. I have given into temptation, but I've evolved to exist within it, and even resist it if needed. The world is meant to be experienced, not thrown away because someone shakes a finger at you from over two millenia ago. I do not share in your enthusiasm of the Lord.
I am a consequential being trapped within the unlimited amount of intervals between two sections of nonexistance. Life is too long for me to live by the book, it means nothing to me yet. But maybe in time, I'll accept that I am His child and that Jesus is my Savior. And until then, I'll be on my own path.
Regards,
Kyle Forester Reese Carlson
My response to his note.
There is no time like now to surrender ones self, for the sooner you do, the sooner you walk in truth. Then are you able to truly right wrongs and teach people with wisdom. Then they can lead themselves to the Lord. One can, should he choose to, lead some one to the Lord, or simply plant the seeds and God will do the rest. There is no need to hurt one, for love for someone who doent deserve love, creates a deeper pain and greater conviction that paying one back for the wrong they did to you. Or someone else. There is no enlightenment without a Godly spirit. I use to think that, use to show it in my old writing (which has since been destroyed) Enlightenment comes from wisdom, wisdom is more than knowledge. its walking in what one knows.
He doesnt offer you perfection, just love, so you can love and learn what love is. No one will ever be perfect or close to it for we all fall short of the glory of God. Love and learning to love is a never ending process. One will learn, if one is wise, till the day that person dies. In Gods kingom there is much resitance, and growth. For he will put you in many MANY trials that will strengthen, teach and flesh your character out to its fullest potention. One will not do this, nor cannot do this on his own. Ones own will and logic will only fly for so long. My people, and God, wishes NO ONE to be left behind. Only a pious christian would forsake and not love some one who is not christian. A true christian loves ANYONE, but not their sin. Id die for you friend, and your friends frinds... For they do not know God, and if one more day brought them closer to God...It would be all worth my death.
If you do what you say you do, then you and I are already alike and I should call you brother. For thats what ANY christian should do. Turn people to the light. I am always helping the fallen for I use to be one and know them best. But I can now do it better with Gods strength and love and mercy. All the knowledge and wisdom is out there, one is only left behind if one so chooses to leave him/herself behind. By ones own actions,stubbe
I know those ways as well, as I was a satanist, a living demon for demons manifested in me, and i do not doubt they in you as well. You are not a heretic nor does or lord want this and you can be deleverd of this. God is love and mercy. You can be washed clean of ALL sins and ALL past and be rebourn as I have been. The world is beautiful indeed, but will be so much more beatitful to you once you begin to see it through clear eyes. Through Godly eyes. God will never leave you feeling empty or worthless, he has a plan for you and that intellect. He has a hope and a future for you. He just waiting for you to do your part, and accept him.
Existing within temptations will only lead to your desctruction. Death of morals, of mind, of health and well being. There is no need to exist in it, when one lives witout sin, one is bless by God. Although non of us are sinless and ALL people sin, we still can do our best to resit and be blessed for it. Opossed to running and living in it and being killed off by it.
The world IS MEANT to be experienced but with love! Without love the world is dead and lifeless, cruel and mean. Then what point is there to it like that?! Remember how I once was?! I thought the same friend, we both did. And well that thinking got me no where! NOW im experiencing it! now im alive and the world is alive in true beauty! your only experiencing if from YOUR point of view, and that view is biased and narrow minded. For God knows you, he knows how you think and your actions. He knows every little detail, so naturally he knows what would bring you and your world to true life and true beauty. He shakes his finger because he is a father who loves perfectly. When we obey, his love and blessing our showerd upon our lives, giving one an experience never before known! God has blown my mind with such experiences in HUGE supernatural ways, and thats why im suddenly enthusiastic!
Todays world, society, has perverted EVERYTHING! God has created wonders but man perverted it. Because Satan got to man. Experiencing the world as you do, it not truly experiencing it, its merely dying it in. beliving a lie the world has spoon fed you from birth. The way you experience the world... throws it away, ugly, used and broken... Never having been experienced the way it was meant to be experienced in the first place.... a paradise...
It is good to see you are wise in a way yes, as I was, in a dark wisdom... You are right friend, it will be your way with your flawed logic, your will and your path... Untel you NEED God and cry out for him. The bible will always be dead to you, untel God lives in you, then it will spring to life and be a fountain giving eternal life.
Life would not seem to long if life was lived with JOY, not happiness but JOY. a joing or a bottle of beer is happiness, but true friends, love and Jesus is JOY! When life is lived like that... it would seem all too short, and frankly it is. This life, is nothing more than a blink of an eye. Blink your eye... and thats what we have in this life. Thats how much time we have to live. Compared to the lives we will one day live in heaven. Given that one has given his life to the Lord, our God.
I pray for you in love, speak in love and preach in love.
Later my friend,