I'm ish happies now... like amazingly so

I wish everyone had an endless supply of this feeling that I never thought I'd have

I'm more energetic than ever
I am almost never hungry
I am more than happy to live on 5 hours of sleep
I look decent now, and I don't even try as hard as I used to

You need this! but you can't have any of our Friday foursome! NOOO

Nobody Knows:

Cold and motionless,
There I lay...
Autopsy is done
But no one knows
'Cause pain doesn't show...
Mom is there
She doesn't know...
She can't sleep at night
'Cause now my image is engraved
Carved on the back of her eyelids.
She doesn't know you killed me.
She didn't see the hurt you gave me
She only saw the silent hatred
Building within me
She didn't know it was you
So don't be alarmed,
Your secret is hidden
Within my forbidden soul.
Your love never existed,
And I cried myself to death.
So go on, kill her too...
She's just another innocent,
To sink your teeth into...
   [sucky I know, but I just wantsted to put it in here anyways]

Crucified:

They took my spirit
Killed my soul
All of these things
Spinning out of control
My love is crushed
My pain intensified
When I once had blushed,
Now I'm crucified.
I'm there hanging,
You stand there and laugh...
Something's spinning,
Twisting my thoughts
Someone's Whispering,
Deep inside, it haunts
You keep strangling me,
Though I'm already gone
You take my eyes
Conceal my beauty,
Cutting it all away
Dismembering my body,
Caging up my soul...
Haunting you in your coldness
I will repay
For no amount of pain
Can ever replace your rape.

Here's a poem... since I promised...

Faded:

This silent luluby,
Dancing within my head
It tells me I don't deserve
I am not worthy...
My self hatred is continuously Fueled
By my overwhelming desire,
My need for companionship.
I know not my own soul... And therefore I'm destined to loneliness.
My heart knows nothing but despair...
And nobody sees me in the shadows.
There is no worth to my mortal life.
So I stand here, beside my cold, motionless body
I move slowly towards the churning light
Close my eyes and fall forward...
Lonesome, my constant state...
The pain fades as now I have no life...
No body to hold the hurt inside.

Untitled:

I'm falling beneath the darkness...
I'm fading from within.
You could see it in my eyes,
If you cared to look.
My pain grows as I watch them.
Can't you feel it?
Can't you sense their hearts breaking?
Can't you hear their minds shattering?
Why don't you just look?
I can feel them dying and I can't...
There's nothing I can do to help.
Something's gnawing on their soul,
And you can't help it?
I hate you
They love me and I can't save them.
I can't do enough for them.
And you won't even look...
I can only watch, in horror...
And this, you don't care?
You deserve death
Something tells me I will die...
I could care less...
Just save them before...
Before I lose my mind and body.

-that one barely makes sense to me... so don't feel bad... it's sort of like me talking to myself... I dunno. well I don't feel like writing anymore today... buh bye