A virgins worst nightmare
A virgin girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."
* * * * * * * *
If you DON'T re-post this in 1 minute you will
have bad sex for life!!!
& while i'm at it.
Because you opened this, you will get kissed on friday by
the person you love!! & tomorrow will be the best day of your life, so
DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN!!!!!! IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU WILL HAVE
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!!!!!!
Repost this as A Virgin's Worst Nightmare
my favorite cheese quotes from Fosters home for imaginary friends~~
"I'm a lady...now were brother ladies!!!" - Cheese from Mac Daddy
"I like chocolate milk!" - Cheese in general
"I found a carrot!" said by cheese when stabbing ed with a carrot in the shower!!! also quoted a million times at a school function by me and my friend [Honey Suckle♥i'm full of poison]
"I like the fair!" - Cheese in the big cheese
"Where we going?" - Cheese in the big cheese
"Do it again do it again do it again do it again!!!!" - Cheese in general
"Hi kitty!" - Cheese in The big cheese!!!
these are just the many of cheese that I love!!!
Another dumb joke...hope yall like it^^
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"
Repost if you laughed
Just got into another area of Elfwood! Just entered Wyverns library, soon my stories will be told!
I just got accepted to Elfwood!! I am sooooooooooo happy!!! I am trying to upload my drawings but I dont know if they are good enough...tryin
never mind...my Gramma told me to do Marmor stein und eisen bricht...so I am going to do Lost in america and M.S.U.E.B by Drafi Deutscher! This is my final decision!!!!
well...i have finally decided on a song that my dad wanted me to animate, it is from Alice cooper, Lost in america, plus I wanted to do Whiskey lullaby... so I am going to do both... kk
I'm going into the Sing your song Photo and Art contest The song I am trying to do is.... Marmor, Stein, und Eisen Bricht... von Drafi Deutscher.
here are the German lyrics:
Weine nicht, wenn der Regen fällt,
es gibt einen, der zu dir hält.
Marmor, Stein und Eisen bricht, aber unsere Liebe nicht.
Alles, alles geht vorbei, doch wir sind uns treu.
Kann ich einmal nicht bei dir sein,
denk daran, du bist nicht allein.
Marmor, Stein und Eisen bricht, aber unsere Liebe nicht.
Alles, alles geht vorbei, doch wir sind uns treu.
Nimm den goldenen Ring von mir,
bist du traurig, dann sagt er dir:
Marmor, Stein und Eisen bricht, aber unsere Liebe nicht.
Alles, alles geht vorbei, doch wir sind uns treu.
My most favorite tv show sayings (mostly little bush)
1. Lil' Bush: Man this camp sucks! There's brush everywhere and there's no psycho going around stabbing everybody!
Lil' Cheney: Rana Ra?
Lil' Bush: laughs yeah...too bad you forgot your mask at home!
2. Lil' Bush: Now if you excuse me I have an important press confrence with a taco... now good night and god bless Mexican Food! walks off stage
3. Abortionist: Okay there he's out now just to cut the ambibical chord
Bush Sr.: There shouldn't be an ambibical chord!
Abortionist: Oh sorry... that's her intestine. Let Go! smacks lil' Cheney
Lil' Bush: Look! Lil' Cheney is born again!
Lil' Cheney: Rah da Rah it's a boy Rah da Rah.
4. Teacher: Students...thi
Lil' Kim: I'm a six foot 2 future movie derector these are my pals...their names are of no importance...T
Lil' Bush: new kid...looks funny...not the same...of coarse that kid looks just like a cat! Uh..oh..better hide my cat nip!
Lil' Condi: Why do you have cat nip?
Lil' Bush: Uh oh...she's after it too!
5. Sr. Bush:Jeb bush is looking at his plate Down Jeb! smacks him upside the head with a newspaper
Dear Journal,
Listening to "Du hast" again...but i am also thinking that why am i listening? I think this because my friend have finally brainwashed me again. but i love them like my own family. All my friends are family to me...i really dont care what anybody else thinks i am a normal person that wants to be in the life of all my friends!!
Luve,
Hobbit teen
Dear Journal,
Stuck on a new band called Rammstein. My favorite song is "Du hast". But other songs that i love are "Zwitter" and "Ich bin". I have only a few songs that i know of because i will not play them regularly but those three... But i think that the English Version of "Du hast" is totally alright but for the beginning where they repeat Du hast; They say "You...You hate...You hate me." But it is "You...You have...You have asked me." But other than Rammstein, I love another song from a german kids show called "Schnappi"! I cannot believe this...My german teacher and two of my best friends have brain washed me to loving these two bands!!!!
Oh well...Here is the lyrics to "Du hast."
Du Hast
Von Rammstein
Du
Du hast
Du hast mich
Du
Du hast
Du hast mich
Du hast mich
Du hast mich gefragt
Du hast mich gefragt
Du hast mich gefragt und ich hab nichts gesagt
Willst du bis der tod euch scheidet
Treu ihr sein fr alle tage...
Nein
Nein
Willst du bis zum tod der scheide
Sie lieben auch in schlechten tagen....
Nein
Nein
(Music Ends)
Translation (English)
You have
--------
You
You have
You have me
You
You have
You have me
You have asked me
You have asked me
You have asked me
And I did not say anything
Will you until death does sever
Be upright to her forever
No
Will you til death be her rider
Her lover too, to stay inside her
No
kk i figured this out i think there is an american government conspiracy!!!!
here you know Nostradomus the french person whom predicted 9/11
here is one of his predictions...
this is the third anti-christ one..the end of the world
C2Q62
Mabus then will soon die, there will come
of people and beasts a horrible rout:
Then suddenly one will see vengeance,
hundred, hand, thirst, hunger when the comet will run.
k... he is obviously talking about the end of the world again....
this is what mabus looks like to me and i think what it means...dont judge me if i am right on...
Mabus.... if you take out the word bus....and put osa infront of the Ma you get Osama as in Osama bin laden!
But if you take out the word Ma... and put the letter H in the back of the word you get Bush...as in President bush! In other words we need to get our heads out of our asses and make sure they dont die soon!!!!
Hey peoples! I'm Back and to my surprise...the halfling diary contest wasnt filled out with a whole lot of entries! if you all want there are only 4 more entries!!! come people and write your diary entries!!!
Man I just got into this dancing class with my aunt tammy...and i threw my back out for a couple days until we went to prim! (outskirts *borderline of California and Nevada*) and there is a roller coaster called desperado at the Buffalo Bills Casino and we were going down the first hill and my back got put back into place once my body went from side to side really fast (sure it hurt for a while...but it feels good now^^ lol)