[Chaotix Palidien]'s diary

1078315  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2009-05-10
Written: (5485 days ago)

In the darkness
Where no light has been
A puppet cast out
Lays on the ground
Broken and forgotten
One day she stands
Wet from water
That found it's way down
Donw the dark hole
She looks around not seeing
Feeling her way along
Finding her way out
Reaching the surface
Her friends that went on
They missed her and never
Stopped looking for her
Posters and fliers everywhere
She runs to a door
Hopeing it's a friend
A kind smile
No one answers
The street lights go out
An evil insain laughter echos
She turned around
To see a bright colored man
Wearing jokers clothing
Smiling down at her
Staring at her broken body
Wet tathered clothes
"Well well what do we have here?
A little doll, hehahaha."
"I'm...Silvia."
"Well Silvia, how would you like
How would you like to be my minion?"
"Min...ion?"
"Yes Kefka needs minions to destroy the world."
"NO! Don't destroy the world.
Silvia's got friends and familie who actually
Who actually cares for Slivia
Silvia who has never known love."
"Love?"
"Yes love...I don't know what it is
But Silvia cares for them
As they carefor her."
Kefka bent over, "You are some doll
May I resting you?"
"Re...sting?"
"Yes, I like you little puppet.
I can't read you like others
You're are a mysterious being."
Silvia smiles, "Restring..."
Kefka picks her up, "I will help you
You will be my one good deed."
She nodds, "Silvia like Kefka." 

1062668  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-01-13
Written: (5603 days ago)

sorry guys im dead tired now X_X with my work i work mornings so i usually sleep the day away but i did't today so im like beyond dead kinda like a zombie XD ill talk to you guys later if i wake up XD

976608  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-09-17
Written: (6086 days ago)
Next in thread: 978813, 1042665

i all most left school today its rather irritating but ill tell you anyway 



today in school it started out normal me not doing anything paying no one a single heed but then they started picking on me and if i retaliate ill get hit so i did and i got jumped because i stood up for my self punch etc etc i speak a word to try and fit in i get hit i am just tolerated here and so further on i almost broke down crying and i started yelling at the class saying  how would you feel if every one looked down at you with icey cold stares that chill my spine you ask me why i walk around with my swords its because of you i am so insecure thats what it takes to make me feel comfortable ill never hit you unless i am cornered ill yell swear etc etc but still you never leave me alone you never stop be glad i am not one stupid enough to come here and slaughter you all thats not me my hair you try to cut i like the way i am apparently you don't(they tried to hold me down and cut my hair as well) in the end it sucked as we were doing a science lab they pushed me and i fell into a freezing agent and now my whole hand is blistered and peeling away and they wonder why i am always the way i am >< well thats is summerized >< if you want to know me just ask =/
















 ill still stick up for the weak as well as the old you get it and they hate it so in that aspect i do this in great faith in myself that what i do is right and sol therefore they try everything to break me but they got another thing coming so in the end in a optimistic kinda way i conquered the day.



947867  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-13
Written: (6183 days ago)
Next in thread:

Writing is not easy. It is a lonely, and oftentimes unappreciated endeavor. But I have to keep creating, I have to keep trying to organize all the beautiful, chaotic things into some pattern....

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose someone you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
I will try to fix you

947866  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-13
Written: (6183 days ago)

The pledge ...
Often the one serene thing that gets me through each day .
The one thing that never changes, that endures time .
The one thing I can trust, can count on .

When I reenter reality just in time
to sight the doleful tragedy of tears,
I pause and wish I could do something
other than sit, and watch, and wonder
whether it could be any simpler,
or any more insufferable .
I smile, imagine, and think of a time
when we can share this empathy,
a time that will never come .

~~~~~

I should be ticked off..
I should be frustrated..
I ought to break down crying...
But I think I'm finally happy.

" He was not happy . He was not happy .
He said the words to himself .
He recognized this as the true state of affairs .
He wore this happiness like a mask
and the grrl had run off across the lawn
with the mask and there was no way
of going to knock on her door and ask for it back . "

947864  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-13
Written: (6183 days ago)

Why did I fail to finish my blog
when I so affirmed I most certainly would?
Do you want to know the real reason?
The hard, cold truth?
Because I was lost.
I had lost myself,
become lost in my work;
then when my work was lost,
I became lost in the world.
And I was losing hope,
until, like I said in the poem
I worked so hard writing
but have nothing to show for it,
it reached such an unbearable significance
that I stopped caring about
what used to matter to me above all.
And, as was expected
yet unpredictable,
when I stopped caring whether
I gained my life back,
it walked straight into my arms.

In any case, today's date adds up to 17,
so I suppose it will make for an adequate substitute .
And I shall provide a bonus post afterward,
for compensation .

~~~~~

The worst feeling in the world is forgettance,
of anything, good or bad .
So above all, always just remember .
Remember what ? Everything .
Only your memory lives on,
so make it a good one .

Please, please .
For the love of gahd and all that is good and holy,
please .

Make memories while you can,
save every happy thought,
create limitless remembrances;
so that you can look back,
when your life lacks that excitement
of which it once was so full,
when your days have lost that spark
which used to make them so worthwhile,
and you can smile to yourself,
and cry, and laugh, and say, oh,
so this is what life is all about .

Just as I am doing now .
When it seems I have begun to resort
to that attitude I had back then
that led to such disillusionment,
dispute and disconcertion,
I suddenly think of my blog
and all of my work, and I say,
oh, how silly of me .
My life subsists not in the present,
or perhaps not even in the future,
but always yet here in the past .

~~~~~

You really make me wonder,
whether in truth I should be missing you .
But I see you with him,
and I bite my lips,
and I grit my teeth,
and a firm grasp enlivens my fists,
and I say, never mind .

Amores, para siempre .
Forever, your silent love .

947863  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-13
Written: (6183 days ago)

This is a story of a sole number,
and how it totally changed my life .
This is a story of stunted growth .
This is a story of trying to find myself,
to riddle out the shadow of my identity .
This is a story of discovering the world,
of learning more about religion and belief .
This is a story of struggling to get by
in a world which restricts all freedoms .

But above all, this is a story of love .
This is a story of never giving up;
of reaching for what you want,
even when no one, not even yourself,
believes you deserve the right to have it .
This is a story of being torn
between the people who accept you
and the people who make you happy .

Find the secrets hidden within .

907104  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-06
Written: (6309 days ago)

Guy Facts:


When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you


When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...


When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong


When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it


When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world


When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world


When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love


When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it


When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done


When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

906003  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-02-03
Written: (6312 days ago)

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!

905999  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-02-03
Written: (6312 days ago)

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts



Writing is a lot like sex. At first you do it because you like it.
Then you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like.
But if you're any good at all...you end up doing it for money.


Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it,
you probably won't either.


Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
--Camille Paglia

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
--Sharon Stone


According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
--Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?


# Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine

# I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy




Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.


When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute


To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.



Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off



There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John


If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time


Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

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