I know it's the cowards way out,
but I just want you safe
So don't see me
Forget our memory
Because I left, you'll be spared
So just forget you ever cared

See me across an empty room
Only I will feel the crowding doom
So turn away, I'm protecting you
Don't recognize the love you once knew
Please stay as far as you can from me
I'd be alright knowing you're safe from pain...
              - Tsaya


Just something random I wrote for a story in my head...

The one thing in life no one can live without is someone to relate to...

The most difficult but inspiring lives to lead is the life of an artist(in any form) and the life of an empathetic person... Empathy lightens the load of the reciever, but heavies the heart of the hearer... it's like a weapon that destroys pain of others and then points the double edged blade right back on the user... sometimes when I listen to a friend of mine about what they are going through and can feel every blow, whether physical or emotional... I only know two other people with these same... 'talents'... we're like the scapegoats for pain...

So tie your pain to us like red ribbons and send us out into the dessert to die, we will return soon as white as the sands we died in, but only on the outside... we go on because we know we could prevent the death of a friend...
But we still have baggage of our own, please don't forget that!
I've sen someone in pieces on the floor ready to cut some more, and I couldn' let them do it because I had already and it only lead to more...


Ok, I'm drained, I need sleep... or my sketchbook and music...

All my life I've been dying to tell you I'd give you my all...

You know what? I thinkI want to be a mom... NOT YET!!!!!!!! Just sometime in the next ten years... preferably fives or six years from now AT THE LEAST!!! It's kinda been in the back of my mind for a year now...

Hmmm... just a thought...

Btw, I have 5 brothers and sisters^_^' ... middle child... bleh...

I need to write something... or sketch...

There's something I don't understand here...

when I dress in the way I feel I best can express myself, people either ask me if I'm a satanist(mostly little kids from church...?) or tell me I'm gothic... then when I talk to people on here or somewhere they can't see me and ask me what I look like I get kind of lazy and say I dress like a gothic person... and THEN they say I label myself!!! ARGH!!! I just dress darkly and stuff because that's how I express myself artistically! I think I'm going crazy... or just cross eyed^_^'''

  What of pain?

When the floor is blood stained

and your soul is nailed to the door

Pain is the rhythm of life

But why?

Why must blood circulate within our veins

But also lace our rivers with crimson snow?

 But this is how our lives flow

Love has been disgraced, forsaken

Tainted by the twisted, ruined for the innocent

Is there hope for redemption?

Will a savior rise resilient?

Will we awaken to see it,

Or remain unmoved in our nightmares?

         … Once upon a nightmare…



I'm in a little depressed slump right now, I'm moving-_- Seventh time so far;_;

To me, moving is like dying... come around the ninth time, I may just stay dead...

Where are you when your eyes grow dark
What Happens when you've lost your spark
I watch you in your misery
And see in your face a mystery
-Tsaya

“What do you see in me?” I ask, my eyes pleading. Pleading for him to let me go, let my blood flow from the gash I would soon make, if only he hadn’t saved me from myself.
“Innocence.” that one word, so loving, yet so wrong. If only he could see… see the things I saw, as a mere child. No. I could not let that happen, never.
He was naive, and innocent as a child. I knew I had to preserve that. He should not have to go through what I did. He was an orphan as was I, but he did not see it. He did not see them die. Their murderers took the children and then killed rest. Mine were killed by criminals with no respect for the dead and paraded then tortured them to death. No. I would not let him be scarred by that guilt of the inability to help that I carried. Never.

A piece of a story I'm writing^_^'''

If I had to leave and couldn't come back for a long time, would I be a passing memory to you? Or would it be as though I never existed, completely forgotten?

So black our eyes and cut our wrists
and rule us all with iron fists

Ermm, another first line taken from somebody I felt compelled to further^_^'

I'll burst forth with a thousand roses like the wind from the sea
So that death will know, so the world will see
Nothing, noone, not even you can break me.


Ok, part of the first line I saw somewhere and felt it was incomplete... so around midnight my insomnia is being a pain as usual and I get this rythm going in my head... and this got out... still feels incomplete tho-_-' I'll finish it eventually^_^'

Ok, an update to that last statement... I'm not moving yet! More likely not for another few years!!!^_^ EEEYUHSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;p

I may be moving soon... again;_; Ever since I was really little I've moved almost every other year... It makes it kind of hard to make real friends, especially when my dad was a teacher at 2 out of 4 schools I went to before I started homeschooling... It's like a process of dying over and over again...


I HATE MOVING!!!!

When Rained My Tears


Pick up the dreams you'd left behind.
To you what does my face remind?


A cerulean city beyond compare.
Skies brought hopes of flight you'd dream to dare.


Trace back fine lines of love to me.
But how did your eyes find sight to me?


Twas' nearing the end of the trail you strayed and went wrong.
No clarity sang through deep sky in song.


Thick fog around my grave tonight.
While stars they pray to set you right.


All your life you'd yearned for love.
My love I've given, my heart a dove.


All memories but one faded through these years.
Before my death when rained my tears.
-[Shadow_seraphim]

When all is lost, but still is found
Touching the sky, but still earth bound
What can come of a light so dim?
When even in death all you think of is him.

Why

We feel
We love
We hurt
You stab
I throw
You know
But why?
Why can’t I be you and you be me?
When will we all truly see?
Why are things defined?
Why aren’t they?
What makes the fog so thick here
The fear is so sickeningly near
And why?
Do we really need to fight?
Do you really want my blood?
Do I really want your life?
No
It is this madness that takes our souls
But why?
Why?
-Tsaya

Messenger of Doom

You run
You fall
And you cry out for help
But to no avail.
Where are your friends?
Your family?
Your fortunes?
They are all gone now
Along with the clarity defining what is known to be true.
And so I weep for you
A heartless onmitsu I may be.
Where has my mask gone?
Where are my walls?
This are is coming to an end
And so I weep.
For the homeless child
For the dying samurai
For the slain enemy
And even for you
For your end is near.
And so I weep.
I'll not see you again
Farewell, while you live.
    -Tsaya

Like I Would
*Ghaldiel’s Point of view

Does he look at you like I should?
Is he kind to you like I would?
Can he love your eyes like I could?

All these things, they matter to me.
You’re so special but still don’t see
How very much you matter to me.

How sad were you in your deep sigh?
I knew he knew he made you cry,
Now your heart’s tied down so you can’t fly.
            Tsaya

I'm writing a book. Actually a series.... *shrugs* I can't think of anything else to say right nows, byes^_^