Some little poem I wrote in my spare time:

"Match"


This match is tempting me


Tempting me to throw it down


Throw it down and burn our bridge


Our bridge that we created


Created through the years


The years of laughter, regret, love, and trust


Love and trust I thought was strong


Oh how I was wrong


Wrong to think our bridge was strong


Strong enough to hold both of our egos


Egos that we still think is non-existent


Both of us too stubborn to admit we were wrong


Wrong in thinking the other would return


Return without thinking twice


Thinking twice about throwing the match


Throwing the match and setting our bridge ablaze


I will stand here with the match deciding


Deciding if I want to burn our bridge


Our bridge will last until you let the match burn me


I will let go of this match if you want me to


Want me to give up on the person I love


I love you





This is just a simple note to you.


You said I have never loved any one...Well you were mistaken I love you! I Thought you would realise that by now but I guess not. I just wish things could go back to the way they use to be but they can't. Can they?


This is just a simple note to you

From my front page.



!!!!HECK YES I WENT TO THE TASTE OF CHAOS!!!!

Okay the Taste Of Chaos was KICK ASS….Half of the bands actually had talent…Although there was many that sucked!!! It has been the best concert I have been to in a long time! The Used was AMAZING!!! My Chemical Romance was okay… They were nothing more and nothing less..They just seemed bleh to me..The whole concert overall was just AMAZING! So if you have the chance go and see the Taste Of Chaos!

So on 5-16-05 I went to Columbus to see April Sixth. They were the opening band for No Address and Crossfade. No Address fuckin sucked big monkey balls…They were so awful I left the concert hall so I would not have to hear them. Crossfade was really good. I didn’t really like their music until last night when they played their shit. They can actually sing really well and they kicked ass live! Therefore, if you don’t like crossfades cds you NEED to see them live. Trust me it is worth it. Last but definitely not least is April Sixth…. THEY WERE FUCKIN AMAZING! Their cd does not do them any justice what so ever. Chris can actually sing really really good! When they went on I knew it was going to be good but they blew me away! All of you need to find April Sixth. My whole concert was kick ass…well that’s because I was VIP..HAHAHA. I got to meet the bands except No Address but that did not bug me at all! Then my sister and I went to the after party with the bands. After that we headed home which was about 3 hours away. We got home around 6 am and I just got up around 8:30 am to go to school. I am writing this before I head off to school. Bye.

Yep on 5/29/05 I went to see April Sixth and Crossfade...again. It was a kick ass show..well I kinda only "watched" April Sixth. I know that No Address sounds bad so there was no need to put myself through that again. I watched the end of Crossfade. Pretty much the whole concert was just like the last one except we didn't get home till 7 am. Yeppers we left there about 5 am.... I was tired and cranky all day at the park with my family. I couldn't help it I was tired.

My loves must retire from my page.

<3 Jimmy Eat World

Jimmy Eat World
"Kill"

You're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes around by chance
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me
You always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up, put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes:
'It's just like being alone...'

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me
You've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do but I just can't turn away

So go on, love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
And so much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you
And I should have said it
But tell me
Just what has it ever meant

I can't help it baby
This is who I am
Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me
You build me up but just to watch me break
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

my conscience called in sick

Warped tour in Mich was awesome oh and Bowling For Soup was better than I thoguht.

So yep I went to sounds of the underground.....it had a bunch of metal bands! I was in heaven!

Yeppers I went and seen Adema with Shortie and some other band! That show was kick ass! SHORTIE was fucking amazing and well Adema kicked ass as well.


!!!!!FIND SHORTIE NOW!!!!!!

So yep I get to see Chevelle (yes I do mean MEET them!!! EEEEEEE........CHEVELLE......EEEEE......I GET TO MEET THEM OH MY GOD THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!!EEEEE) Okay so I have teenie moments too. I am aloud cuz I am a girl that is about to meet a very very KICK ASS BAND! I am going to like 3 of their shows with my older sister. Yes I will have a backstage pass as I did the other concerts I went to. My sister is the whole reason I am going so I owe her a frickin lot! Okay well I just had to tell people cuz I am so excited! Yeppers....::looks around::......umm okay....Bye.

A CHANGE OF PACE LYRICS

"Loose Lips Sink Ships"

So I made you lie!

And we both hope
This will pass by
Through are life lines
Standing broken

Come on tell me
You can't hurt me
Don't ignore the
Lies your bleeding

Entranced in noise
And words and phrases
All about you
Everyone was so right

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Envy sets in
And I hate you
For what you did
I will break you

Cry for help now
They can't hear you
Here's an offer
You cant refuse

Scream a little bit louder for me baby
Face the truth
That you baited so well

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Scream my name
At the top of your lungs
Help me to know
Why I should care

Destroy our past
I'll still have
These memories
You'll never take from me

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Scream my name!

I <3 this song!

A CHANGE OF PACE LYRICS

"Goodbye For Now"

And when the smoke clears nothings left
Black ashes still fall from the sky
I see a figure standing far away
And a shadow on the ground, but I don't know why

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

And life is dark with your eyes always closed
you'll never see a thing
I never wanted any of this no not at all
But it will be okay

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

Bittersweet every touch still burning in my memory
Can't turn back the hand of time
Can't make believe that youre still mine
Cause your so far away

Goodbye for now...

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

All eyes off me no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me no more pathetic memories...

I love love love A Change Of Pace... They are fucking AWESOME! Here is my 2nd fav song by them.


"Asleep At The Wheel"

Asleep at the wheel a red light mistake
take my word for what its worth
life at a stand still not one second passes
and in the asphalt I see a best friend
(crashing through the window)

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

And would you save everyone if you
saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further form all of this

abstract emotions in dealing with death
the warmth of my breath turns to ice
beating the concrete your hands
cut and bruised and in the end
not a question of why
(crashing through the window)

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

And would you save everyone
if you saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further from all of this

never forget what im bleeding
gasp for air now i am apart of this
leave me suffering never break
your promises
never forget and you'll
never forget what i've done

and would you save everyone
if you saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further from all of this

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

EEEEE I get to go an see Hidden In Plain View this thursday!! EEEEE

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I am going to meet April Sixth tomorrow if I can get off work! Just thought I should write it down.

I just found out a problem I have….I am impatient. By that I mean REALLY REALLY impatient. I can not sit in one place waiting for something. I have to at least be talking, moving, or singing. Yes the story starts now:

My sister and I were heading out to the store. Her friend was here so we all walked out. She told me to wait in the car. I did as I was told while she was saying goodbye to her friend. I did not have the frickin keys so that means no music which means I get bored and when I get bored I get weird. I was sitting there trying to think of something to do to entertain myself but nothing came to mind. So I opened the door and told her she had nor more than 5 more minutes left. I sat in the seat tapping my hand on the door singing "buried myself alive". That kept me busy for a few minutes but well the song ended naturally. Then I kind of got even more impatient and began screwing with the settings on my cell phone. Around 10 minutes later I got out of the car and walked by them. She asked me where I was going and I said in the house to do something while you are frickin talking. I walked in the house and threw some music on and started to pick up my room. She came in about 20 minutes later and said she was ready. So the whole point of this story is to show I am impatient. I have no idea why but I cant stand not doing anything.

THIS STUFF WAS IN MY PUBLIC PRO...

I am not into the whole labeling thing so don’t ask me what I am. I have been called emo, devil worshiper, goth, freak, stoner (it's all natural), oh and my favorite label of all is punk. WTF is punk? I thought punk was anti government and non-conformity! Well you idiots you are all conforming by labeling yourself! Not to smart are you? I do not tolerate people using labels. Yeah I am open to talking to people but if you label yourself then don’t try to talk to me! I will tell you what I think and you wont like it. OKAY NOW LET ME CLEAR A LITTLE FACT UP FOR ALL OF YOU...I AM STARTING TO GET MAIL SAYING I AM A POSER!! WTF?? A POSER IS JUST ANOTHER FRICKIN LABEL!! SO ALL OF YOU "PUNKS/REBELS" **(OKAY A PERSON WHO LACKS COMMON KNOWLEDGE IN READING MISREAD MY BIO!! SO I WILL HELP GUIDE OTHERS WHO MAY DO THIS! I DID NOT LABEL ANYONE! WHEN I SAID "PUNKS/REBELS" IT WAS NOT ME LABELING THEM! THEY CALL THEMSELVES THAT SO I POSTED WHAT THEY DEFINED THEMSELVES AS IN THE LETTERS THEY SENT TO ME! TO HARD TO UNDERSTAND STILL?)** CALLIN ME A POSER YOU ALL ARE HYPOCRITES! THAT IS CORRECT ALL OF YOU ARE! YOU TELL PEOPLE NOT TO LABEL YOU IN YOUR PROFILE YET YOU LABEL ME! WOW ::SHAKES HEAD:: WHAT MORONS!

During the school week I tend to wear concert t-shirts + sweaters, foamy shirts, jeans, jelly bracelets, and my Converse… I absolutely love my shoes!! I don’t take my time putting on makeup and doing up my hair. I think that it is a waste of time. Why get up any earlier than I absolutely have to. Yes I do tend to wear eye liner and lip gloss everyday but that really isn’t makeup. I do like the whole I rolled outta bed 5 minutes ago look for my hair. So quit asking what type of clothes I wear and what I look like in the morning….those questions are kinda scary O_O

I must confess in school I am an over achiever! I sleep in 5 outta 8 classes. I only stay up in classes where it is a must! It is kind of weird that I am passing all but one class. All my teachers like me when I sleep. I tend not to make any comments towards them  :)       
No I am not disrespectful to any teacher! I only tell them what I think when needed.

For all you BUSH supporters you need to do us all a favor and jump off a bridge NOW!! He is doing no good for our country! He is trying to ban Gay marriage! WTF is up with that? Yeah you can tell me to look up marriage in a dictionary because I have been told that many times! The people say in the dictionary it says marriage can only be between a man and a woman well you need to look that shit up again! I looked it up and now I am laughing at your stupidity!

Here is the REAL definition of marriage: (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.



Congratulations on making it this far ::hands you a cookie:: Now get back to reading :)



NOW WHAT DOES NUMBER 2 SAY? Yeah go look it up yourself you idiots!!!!! Yeah I know it says man shall not marry man in the bible somewhere BUT you aren’t suppost to mix religion with state! So technically all of you brainwashed fockers don’t have the right to say who I can and cant marry! Sure write me and say that it is not morally right. All I have to say is screw morals! I may not be gay but i am very passionate about peoples rights!

This is part of a song I like and well I am drawn to it!

I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that I'm just scared to live
I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that the truth is I'm everything that I hate

Today was the first day you shut me out. All I could do was watch helplessly as you cried. I have never felt so weak in my life. Why couldn’t you just let me help you? Why do you have to act so strong? I thought we were friends but I was mistaken. You shut the door before I could get my foot in. I tried to understand what was going through your head but you just pushed me further away. Why? Have I not earned your trust yet? What have I been gaining these past 7 years? Does that time mean nothing to you? I tried to understand but you wont let me. Go ahead and push me away. I guess you are like everyone else aren’t you? You push me away and treat me like shit when you feel like it. Fine cry! Those tears you shed no longer effect me the way the use to! I am leaving without begging you to tell me what’s wrong. I do that all the time. I think you enjoy the attention from all of this! You can just FUCK OFF!

Wow. I think I just stumbled across my biggest fear.... the dark! I am terrified of the dark. I was down stairs doing my laundry and when I had to come back up the long dark hall my heart started to race. I stopped right where the dark consumed the light. I really could not bring myself to go through the dark. My heart started to beat and I started to lose my breath. I actually thought I was having an attack or something. I spent around 10 minutes stuck there trying to walk through the dark. I took off running safely into my house. Woooooooo! I cant believe I am afraid of the dark. That fear seems so childish!

Today I came to realize that "friends" are nothing but liars. I guess I thought that they would be there when I fell but they weren't. They watched as I fell and just stood there. I am always willing to catch any of them if they ever happen to fall from grace. I am always there for them to cry on my shoulder and I am fucking sick of it. I am sick of people hurting me then me forgiving them. Am I nothing but a door mat? Fuck all of them. I don't need any of those so called "Friends".