Nothing special.....Just some thoughts












Behind this smile is nothing but emptiness



All my laughs are forced



My outgoing personality is a sham



I am not what I seem



Looks are deceiving



And you went along for the emotional ride



The tears that you caught with courage



Reassurance that you provided daily



Happiness consumed my days



Simple words brought smiles



My gentle heart beating stronger day by day



The emptiness filling up with happiness



Smiles feel right



The laughs seem honest



I am what I seem



My looks no longer deceive



Thanks for the emotional ride



Now I am ready for life







<3

I have been sick (really sick) recently. Not sure with what but I am going to the doctors on Monday. Hopefully it is not all bad news.


Mucho Luvo

<3

I have atleast done 23 of these!





50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator


1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.


2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.


3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up darnit, all of you just SHUT UP!"


4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.


5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.


6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.


7. Shave.


8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"


9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.


10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.


11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.


12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"


13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."


14. One word: Flatulence!


15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.


16. Do Tai Chi exercises.


17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."


18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"


19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.


20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"


21. Meow occasionally.


22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.


23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "OOPS!"


24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.


25. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.


26. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.


27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.


28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.


29. Leave a box between the doors.


30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.


31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.


32. Start a sing-along.


33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"


34. Play the accordion.


35. Shadow box.


36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.


37. Lean against the button panel.


38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.


39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.


40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."


41. Bring a chair along.


42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"


43. Blow spit bubbles.


44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.


45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."


46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.


47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.


48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.


49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."


50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"

Bloodumpster (a band).........they made my fucking ears BLEED!!

They were by far theeee utmost worst untalented band ever to play at headliners...They made me want to simply cut off my ears and carve out my ear drums...I fucking HATED them!!!

I like to give bands atleast two chances because it could be something wrong with the sound, building, equipment, anything like that. BUT HELL NO!!! This band just absolutely sucked! No talent....and the twisted part was they actually liked being told they suck. It is like they enjoy tormenting people.



!!!!!BLOODUMPSTER CAN GO JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF!!!!!





P.S. If I did not make it clear enough
I THINK BLOODUMPSTER FUCKING SUCKS!




Mucho Luv

♥

Some little poem I wrote in my spare time:

"Match"


This match is tempting me


Tempting me to throw it down


Throw it down and burn our bridge


Our bridge that we created


Created through the years


The years of laughter, regret, love, and trust


Love and trust I thought was strong


Oh how I was wrong


Wrong to think our bridge was strong


Strong enough to hold both of our egos


Egos that we still think is non-existent


Both of us too stubborn to admit we were wrong


Wrong in thinking the other would return


Return without thinking twice


Thinking twice about throwing the match


Throwing the match and setting our bridge ablaze


I will stand here with the match deciding


Deciding if I want to burn our bridge


Our bridge will last until you let the match burn me


I will let go of this match if you want me to


Want me to give up on the person I love


I love you





This is just a simple note to you.


You said I have never loved any one...Well you were mistaken I love you! I Thought you would realise that by now but I guess not. I just wish things could go back to the way they use to be but they can't. Can they?


This is just a simple note to you

From my front page.



!!!!HECK YES I WENT TO THE TASTE OF CHAOS!!!!

Okay the Taste Of Chaos was KICK ASS….Half of the bands actually had talent…Although there was many that sucked!!! It has been the best concert I have been to in a long time! The Used was AMAZING!!! My Chemical Romance was okay… They were nothing more and nothing less..They just seemed bleh to me..The whole concert overall was just AMAZING! So if you have the chance go and see the Taste Of Chaos!

So on 5-16-05 I went to Columbus to see April Sixth. They were the opening band for No Address and Crossfade. No Address fuckin sucked big monkey balls…They were so awful I left the concert hall so I would not have to hear them. Crossfade was really good. I didn’t really like their music until last night when they played their shit. They can actually sing really well and they kicked ass live! Therefore, if you don’t like crossfades cds you NEED to see them live. Trust me it is worth it. Last but definitely not least is April Sixth…. THEY WERE FUCKIN AMAZING! Their cd does not do them any justice what so ever. Chris can actually sing really really good! When they went on I knew it was going to be good but they blew me away! All of you need to find April Sixth. My whole concert was kick ass…well that’s because I was VIP..HAHAHA. I got to meet the bands except No Address but that did not bug me at all! Then my sister and I went to the after party with the bands. After that we headed home which was about 3 hours away. We got home around 6 am and I just got up around 8:30 am to go to school. I am writing this before I head off to school. Bye.

Yep on 5/29/05 I went to see April Sixth and Crossfade...again. It was a kick ass show..well I kinda only "watched" April Sixth. I know that No Address sounds bad so there was no need to put myself through that again. I watched the end of Crossfade. Pretty much the whole concert was just like the last one except we didn't get home till 7 am. Yeppers we left there about 5 am.... I was tired and cranky all day at the park with my family. I couldn't help it I was tired.

My loves must retire from my page.

<3 Jimmy Eat World

Jimmy Eat World
"Kill"

You're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes around by chance
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me
You always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up, put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes:
'It's just like being alone...'

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me
You've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do but I just can't turn away

So go on, love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
And so much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you
And I should have said it
But tell me
Just what has it ever meant

I can't help it baby
This is who I am
Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me
You build me up but just to watch me break
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

my conscience called in sick

Warped tour in Mich was awesome oh and Bowling For Soup was better than I thoguht.

So yep I went to sounds of the underground.....it had a bunch of metal bands! I was in heaven!

Yeppers I went and seen Adema with Shortie and some other band! That show was kick ass! SHORTIE was fucking amazing and well Adema kicked ass as well.


!!!!!FIND SHORTIE NOW!!!!!!

So yep I get to see Chevelle (yes I do mean MEET them!!! EEEEEEE........CHEVELLE......EEEEE......I GET TO MEET THEM OH MY GOD THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!!EEEEE) Okay so I have teenie moments too. I am aloud cuz I am a girl that is about to meet a very very KICK ASS BAND! I am going to like 3 of their shows with my older sister. Yes I will have a backstage pass as I did the other concerts I went to. My sister is the whole reason I am going so I owe her a frickin lot! Okay well I just had to tell people cuz I am so excited! Yeppers....::looks around::......umm okay....Bye.

A CHANGE OF PACE LYRICS

"Loose Lips Sink Ships"

So I made you lie!

And we both hope
This will pass by
Through are life lines
Standing broken

Come on tell me
You can't hurt me
Don't ignore the
Lies your bleeding

Entranced in noise
And words and phrases
All about you
Everyone was so right

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Envy sets in
And I hate you
For what you did
I will break you

Cry for help now
They can't hear you
Here's an offer
You cant refuse

Scream a little bit louder for me baby
Face the truth
That you baited so well

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Scream my name
At the top of your lungs
Help me to know
Why I should care

Destroy our past
I'll still have
These memories
You'll never take from me

I know something you don't know
You hid something obvious from me
I know something you'll never know
You hid something obvious from me

Scream my name!

I <3 this song!

A CHANGE OF PACE LYRICS

"Goodbye For Now"

And when the smoke clears nothings left
Black ashes still fall from the sky
I see a figure standing far away
And a shadow on the ground, but I don't know why

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

And life is dark with your eyes always closed
you'll never see a thing
I never wanted any of this no not at all
But it will be okay

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

Bittersweet every touch still burning in my memory
Can't turn back the hand of time
Can't make believe that youre still mine
Cause your so far away

Goodbye for now...

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no not tonight

All eyes off me no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me no more pathetic memories...

I love love love A Change Of Pace... They are fucking AWESOME! Here is my 2nd fav song by them.


"Asleep At The Wheel"

Asleep at the wheel a red light mistake
take my word for what its worth
life at a stand still not one second passes
and in the asphalt I see a best friend
(crashing through the window)

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

And would you save everyone if you
saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further form all of this

abstract emotions in dealing with death
the warmth of my breath turns to ice
beating the concrete your hands
cut and bruised and in the end
not a question of why
(crashing through the window)

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

And would you save everyone
if you saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further from all of this

never forget what im bleeding
gasp for air now i am apart of this
leave me suffering never break
your promises
never forget and you'll
never forget what i've done

and would you save everyone
if you saw them dying
watch as they slip through your hands
bring me back to life bring them back to life
one step further from all of this

don't move
save me
cry out
to god above

EEEEE I get to go an see Hidden In Plain View this thursday!! EEEEE

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.