Ahh Grr..I'm so pissed..but I'll get over it I guess..eventually but it still hurts to know that someone that you tell practically everything to doesnt trust you enough to tell you something because they dont want you to keep them from killing themselves..thats so retarded..on another note..

I'm about ready to give up on Chris..it's been fun and all and we can still be friends but nothing more because if we start any kinda relationship now its bound to end badly so I just won't go through with it..relationships suck..I'm gonna wait awhile until I actually go into a relationship..a long awhile too..Or just until I find someone I really trust..I've been broken hearted too many times..

Love Much,
Dark Romances

Well last night I spent the night at chris ((the guy I like)) and me and my sisters friend tessas house..it was fun we played truth or dare and it pissed me off becaue, I think it was my sister who asked chris his truth question, but yeah she asked "do you like Kayla?" and he looked at me and smiled and was like "err...uhh...pass I want a dare" and I was like noooo thats bullshit lol and his dare ((which I gladly gave to him)) was to fall down the stairs ((kidding of course)) but he did it anyway and it made their dad come down stairs and he told us the girls had to go upstairs and the boys had to stay down stairs and we thought hey maybe if we're quiet enough he wont come back down and he didnt until chris decided to fall down the stairs again ((somethin like that anyway..truthfully I dont remember lol)) and he came down and us 3 hid ((me heidi and tess)) heidi hid around one corner and I hid around another...he found heidi first and shes like "uhh...omg! I lost my contact!" and hes like get out of here and I started laughing so he found me next then I told him "no way..this isnt where I parked my car.." and everyone started laughing and we were tryin to hide tessa by sayin no shes not in that room...no shes not in the bathroom while we were starin at the closet where she was actually hiding so he eventually found her..it was funny though..but chris is mean cuz now he wants to meet tessa's other friends little sister ((also our age)) and that upsets me cuz yeah I like him duh ((but he said this before the whole truth and dare thing so I dont know if its changed or not)) but it still kinda hurts but theres more guys I guess...plus no one wants me to go out with him anyway cuz when we break up itll be akward tryin to hang out with tess...so I think either I'll wait awhile just to see what happens or try and find someone else...which I cant cuz all guys are either stupid or have gf's...I hate them lol

Love Much,
Dark Romances

Well I met Nathan in person a few days ago it was fun..we had ((or atleast I'd like to think it was)) "The Best Moment Ever" which was Nathan swinging a Hot Topic bag around his head and accidently hitting Ryan with it...the guy in the Poloroid shop was laughing so much and his customers thought he was crazy cuz they didnt see what happened I fell down laughing...Im pretty sure its one of those things that you "had to be there or else its not as funny" lol anyways...besides that things lately have been depressing but I'm over that now..since like the past 20 mins...after I got over "its not all about looks thing" and repeated "I'm Not Ugly" 10...million...times over..as soon as I post pictures I might even be able to prove that...well doesnt matter its your guys' opinions..

Love Much,
Dark Romances

I finally talked to Nathan on the phone! it was great..we're talkin like we usually do online its cool.. hmm wow well I'll write more when I have time...

Love Much,
Dark Romances

Guys are confusing.."I like you" "I don't like you" "blah blah blah, blah blah blah" Stupid Boys

Love Much,
Dark Romances

Oh goodness...too much thinking...my friends don't realize that their not helping...last year was so much better...people called for no reason...now when I need them to call for no reason the most...they don't...no one understands...I Miss My Mommy...I cry every night...even if it's not litterally crying...I hurt so bad...and I don't want sympathy...I just want someone to be there...but no one is...the one person I would be calling right now is my mom...and I slap myself in the face everytime I try and pick up the phone and call...because...shes...not....there.....and she...never will be again...I wish things were how they used to be...but no matter how much I wish it it will never be like that again...and I despise people who have a good relationship with their mom...I also despise people who have a bad relationship with their mom...because they have a mom...I wish I could atleast fight with my mom...because atleast she'd be here...and I would love her even if we were fighting and she knows that but the point is she'd be HERE...god I wish she was here...we were always very close...everytime I talked about her I would say how much I missed her...and everytime I saw her when I went to her house...I remember sitting on her lap petting her head because she was always very sick...and I'd tell her how much I love her...and she better be there at my wedding...and we'd laugh...because she knew she would be...she absolutely KNEW she would be...and she won't be...she...cant...god Im crying...Kayla is not a crier...I never cry...I miss her so much...I remember one time when she got on a plane to visit my brother in Montana because he's doing a program thing up there for his anger problems...and she didn't tell me and my sister...and she called like 2 weeks later and I was freaking out yelling at her why she didnt tell me what if something happened I couldnt imagine losing her...now that I have...I still can't imagine losing her...I haven't full-on felt it yet...but it's coming and I'm about to have a mental/emotional breakdown...ha...well I already have, way before this even happened...what else is there in life to breakdown on?...oh yes...my spirit...the ambition to do much of anything............Life Itself...too late for all of that I pretty much already gave up...Im so bitter and angry inside...and no one see's it and no one will...no one is there for me as much as they say they are...they don't understand enough to be there for me...no one can be there for me...not even family...and that's just sad...I Don't Have Anyone Anymore...It's all lost...I lost my sense of self...I Give Up

Love Much,
Dark Romances

Don't Be A Hater Vote For Nader!
Can't Decide Bush Or Kerry? Be Safe-Vote Nader
I Be Liken The Nader

lol 3 of the many campaigns I had for Nader...I am also conducting a mass suicide if Nader just happens to lose lol no jk since I KNOW he's gonna lose...I know he has no chance lol...its so sad thats why I support him lol I mean come on! SOMEONE HAS TO! RIGHT?!?!

Love Much,
Dark Romances

My House...In The Middle Of Elftown...My House

So Yes...Tomorrow Is Sahmain...How Fun...I Wish I Could Go To Kadie's House And Help Her Out With That But I Don't Think I'm Gonna Be Able To...I'm So Annoyed...He's So Shallow...He Doesn't Even Realize It And That's The Sad Part...Damn Him And His Crazy Shinanigans...Shinanigans Is A Funny Word...Kinda Like...Topika...hehe Topika

Love Much,
Dark Romances