Since it's taking me FOREVER to get a new camera, and everytime I think I'm getting one, something has come up, my aunt has graciously given me her Canon 35mm with about four scopes to use. :O VERY expensive and nice equipment....let's hope that I can figure out how to use it all and most importantly, not drop it in the lake. 8P New pictures soon....I hope..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee8n-xvYETg This is great!

From [Yncke]'s page:

"Everyone can make typos or spelling errors, but 'hw r u' to me is the sound of a cat coughing up a hairball: something to be ignored."


LMAO!!!!

I have had the strangest dreams of late. In them there's a woman who is most intoxicating. Here's hoping that reality mirrors dreams :)

I had an awesome weekend! It went too quickly though. Saturday, Michael and I took his ninety-two year old grandma to the zoo. She loves animals, and we didn't know what to get her for Christmas, so we proposed a day out as a Christmas present, and she loved it. Then, Sunday, Michael surprised me with a very nice hike at a nearby park. It was wonderful to be outside and see up close the color changes. We found a brook deep in the woods, and I lay on a huge rock and drank the water, and after some convincing that it was rather tasty, Michael joined me.
Lots of fresh air and sunshine. After a month of much rain, I really needed that. And next weekend we are going to a hay ride and haunted house with his little brother. I love Halloween!

All of my life, I've been a kind of "turn the other cheek" person when it comes to my family. I loved them so much that I allowed myself to be their door mat. Any time they needed someone, I was there. When my sister needed a place to stay because my dad was an overbearing, manipulative asshole and my mother and step-father were drunk and fighting, or when my dad needed me to be his emotional punching bag when he had a bad day at work, or putting my mother to bed because she was too drunk to walk. I was always there. Do I regret these things? No. I did all I could to show them that I loved them and that I was there for them. For twenty-nine years I've put up with this, putting them and their selfish needs ahead of my own well-being. I can't do it anymore. I'm mentally and emotionally drained from their high demands. Now I've got my own family and my own life, and I can't keep neglecting those who truly love me to help those who don't. They say that blood is thicker than water. I don't really believe that is so fitting when it comes to a family like mine. As much as it hurts me, I have closed communication with them, and have started the healing process. It's only been two days, and I can already feel a sense of freedom.

A depressing sort of entry, it seems, but in a way it's an oath to myself to keep looking forward and moving on. The main feeling at this time is hope, for the present, and for the future..and that is a very good thing indeed :)

Let's see, a quick update (maybe). I'm still not smoking! Finally kicked it for good. Michael's done well too.
The fall weather has invigorated me as it does every year. It gets so hot and humid here during the summer that it's hard to get outside much, but this time of year, it's perfect, and I like to get out as much as possible. Now to get a camera..
We've had a LOT of rain this month. Everyone's complaining, but it only makes for nicer fall colors, so I don't mind so much.
We went to the Pinnacle Mountain Rendezvous this last weekend, where Native Americans and Mountain Men set up teepee's and camps and sell their goods. We have gone for the past three years, and I think it will definitely be an annual thing for us. I love it! The air is filled with sage and sweet grass, and I was finally able to buy a good Native American flute, so now, I've got to work on learning how to play it properly. :)
Michael's taking a weeks vacation in early November, and I'm hoping to rent a cabin somewhere for us so we can just relax and destressify ourselves..and yes, destressify is a word. >.<
I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year for Michael's family, and maybe my mom and step dad, so that will be FUN. It will be my first, so wish me luck that the turkey remains intact and that my rolls don't burn. Luckily, everyone's pretty laid back, so even if something does go terribly wrong, the worst that will happen is that I get laughed at, and that's nothing new.
I hope that you all are enjoying the fall..or spring for those of you in Australia, and that there is good health all around. And if I don't write again beforehand, happy holidays!
Mariah

In response to Skydancer's Diary:

1. Optimist or Pessimist, is the glass nearly empty or half full of a nice wine or mead? I would love to say optimist, but I am my father's child, and most times the glass is 1/2 empty...unless I've drank mead, then it would be 1/2 full for sure :)

2. Grass or concrete, do you prefer the natural world or the urban one?
Grass, all the way. I am not a city girl, though the lights are pretty at night, they don't touch the stars

3. Fashion madness or skin cult? Do you spend money like crazy on the latest fashions and clothes or are you more comfortable in your own skin and clothes are just something you wear when you need to?
I hate fashion...If I'm home alone, chances are I'm nude

4. Fantasy or common reality? Are you more immersed in your own, or others fantasy worlds to the point that they color your life choices and actions or are you caught up in the shared illusion of the "real world" with all its mania of jobs, family, wars and the media?
I can cope with the real world, but I prefer my fantasy world much more.

5. Spiritual, Religious, Agnostic, Alternative, None of the above.
Spiritual, for sure

6. Creative madness or fan girl/boy? That is to say, artist/performer or fan/follower?
I'm a bit of both. I love to create, but I can appreciate and be inspired by other's works as well

7. Spicy or homestyle? You like your life and foods hot and spicy or prefer the comfort of homemade meals and sincere cuddles.
I love both. Spicy is great, but sometimes you just need something a bit more consistant

8. Hopeless romantic or pragmatic partner?
I am a hopeless romantic. Always have been. I think I have a bit of the grass is greener syndrome

9. Animal companions or beer and sports casts?
I have lots of pets, and life would be very lonesome and dull without them, but I like my beer too. :)

10. A hike in the forest or a night out at the club?
I like both. The forest for calm reflection, and the club for the ability to get lost among strangers

11. Polygamy, Monogamy, Open, Exclusive, Shared, Alternative, Traditional?
I'm not really sure at this point. I'm still pondering that one

12. Silk Sheets or Comfy Quilts?
I'm a comfy quilt kind of girl. Not really a fan of silk anything. Too easy to slide off of a bed covered in silk

13. Wood and Candles or Metals and Glass?
Wood and candles with a bit of glass

14. The touch of sun through the clouds or the drama of the storm?
Both, completely

15. Sweets or Sours?
Both again. Variety is the spice of life

16. A chance to meet a friend you know from online or a chance to meet a celebrity?
A friend I've known online

17. Lord of the Rings or the Last Unicorn, The Labyrinth or The Dark Crystal?
The Labyrinth and the Last Unicorn

18. Muppets or Anime?
Both

19. Paint, Ink, Pencils or Photoshop, tablet and Painter?
Paint and Pencils

20. In front of the Lens or behind the Camera?
Behind the camera

21. You have one thing you may do that will be the pinnacle of your life. It is?
To travel the world. See all of the beauty and cultures that are out there

It's been a while, I know. (As if there are those of you out there waiting for my next entry, talk about ego XP) Anyways, things have been going pretty well lately. Nothing bad to gripe about. Oh, I quit smoking again. (Eighth times a charm, hopefully) and it's been a little over a week so far. They've raised the taxes on tobacco here in Arkansas, and even before the prices became outrageous, I thought smoking was somewhat a stupid idea. Spending money to kill yourself just isn't smart. But, I smoked anyways, so now I'm using the nicotine gum, and Michael is on the patches. We've had a few nicotene deprivation induced spats, but nothing major. We promised each other to make no decisions about our relationship while we are going through withdrawals.
We also got a new puppy. This brings the dog count to five...crazy, but somehow not overwhelming. She's a boxer/lab mix, and is the daughter of my Charlie, who is the boxer I rescued from my husband's sister. He is my little love, and I hope his daughter has his temperment. We've named her Shadow, and if the size of her feet are any indication, she's going to be BIG. Oh, are there any of you out there who live nearby and want a Yorkie/Maltese mix? I'm wanting to find a good home for Bailey. I also rescued him from Michael's sister, but I just can't keep him too. He's a sweet little thing, and I've recently gotten both he and Charlie neutered, so there will be no more puppies from them.
Other than the goings on of my farm, we've been doing a lot of fishing. We don't catch much most days, but it's relaxing being outside, and that makes it worthwhile. The weather here has been very nice lately. It's warmed up finally, and it feels like summer is coming quick. Right now, I can open the windows and let the house air out at night, and that makes for a nice sleep.
I hope you are all doing well, and I should have the internet again within the next few years XP...hopefully!

A little bit of Sarah McLachlan tonight. I saw her at the Memphis in May Beale Street Music Fest in 2005. I loved her music before then, but I loved it even more after. She has such talent, and can truly perform. This song is called Elsewhere, and the lyrics are special to me. If you've not heard it, I highly recommend you check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz-xVsO2CWc&feature=related

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
Distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out holding in

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
Passing through like liquid
I am drunk in my desire...
But I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me
Might not be right for you but it's right for me...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
If I choose to
Would you understand it
Would you try to understand...

For those who may be curious, I fully support artistic nudity. I just haven't found the acceptance of self (aka the balls) to do any yet. Have a nice day :)

It's been a little while since I've written an actual diary entry on here. Things have been going pretty well here, and I've no room to complain. (Wow, eh?) I've not been up to much, just the usual back and forth from my house to my aunt's. Michael mentioned to me the other day that I'd been spending a lot of time away from home, and it occured to me then how new to this marriage thing I am. It's strange for me to have to tell someone where I'm going, much less ask their opinion of it. I know it's only common courtesy, and I like for him to do the same for me, but my independant streak is hard to quiet. I love him though, and really, I'm lucky that he's more the kind of husband who will let me do what I want as long as I tell him before hand, and it's not something that will harm me or our relationship.
I've read three books these past two days! It's nice to be reading again, but I've found that lately, I'm preferring light reading over something more philisophical, so no Plato for me. I did, however, read The Diary of V trilogy, and for you women out there who enjoy a book with lots of comedy and sex, I'd recomend them. ;)
The zoo at my house has grown by one. Michael's sister is someone who is not so good at regaurding the wellfare of animals (we aren't getting in to that), so I "liberated" her boxers from her. She had a male and female, and though I had no room at my home for both of them, I did keep the male, and found the female a wonderful home. So now I've got four dogs, three fish, two cats, one snake, but no partridges in a tree. Needless to say, feeding time is hectic. But I wouldn't trade them for the world. Charley, the boxer, thinks that it's his duty to guard me at all times, and though I've told him that I need no protection from the toilet, he feels it's necessary to stand by the bathroom door and observe my goings on....somewhat unsettling, but it's nice to be so loved. At least he doesn't taunt "I know what you're doing".

Bjork~
"Dull Flame Of Desire"
(feat. Antony Hegarty)

I love your eyes, my dear
Their splendid sparkling fire

When suddenly you raise them so
To cast a swift embracing glance

Like lightning flashing in the sky
But there's a charm that is greater still

When my love's eyes are lowered
When all is fired by passion's kiss

And through the downcast lashes
I see the dull flame of desire

....Oh, and turtles :P

Things are going well this week. My aunt and I have been baking like crazy so that we can arrange decorative paper plates full of stuff for neighbors and friends this Christmas. So far, we've made: chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, divinity, rocky road, fudge, Swedish Pecans, and brownies. Tomorrow, we make peanut brittle, date pinwheel cookies, and chocolate and white chocolate covered pretzels. THEN we're done.. :) All of it completely home made, and very time consuming but great fun. You should be here [Skydancer] ;)

Two entries in one night...Everyone's asleep here, and there's not really much else to do. I've been at my aunt's again, as I usually am when I have more than an hours access to the internet. Today, we cleaned out two of her closets and found some interesting things. One of them was an OLD quilt that my great grandmother had hand-stitched. It's so interesting to me, imagining the hours she must have spent on it. My aunt suprised me by giving it to me. She has two children of her own, both a bit older than me, and the fact that she gave it to me was very honoring. She told me that I was more nostalgic than her own children were, and that she knew that I'd value it more. I wonder if there's a way to preserve quilts? I've never really had many things such as this, so I don't really know. Perhaps I can Google it. :)
Michael's at home, enjoying his alone time. I don't blame him, and definitely don't feel the slightest bit put out because of it. I'm typically a solitary person myself, which is why my closest friends were shocked that I got married at all. He, on the other hand, doesn't have the option to be solitary, since he's at work all day, and then comes home to me. Since I'm not working, unless I'm visiting someone, I'm ALWAYS home, so he's never really alone much. I think that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so these times when I escape to my aunts are as beneficial to him as they are to me. We trust each other completely, and that helps as well. I know about what he's doing when I'm gone, playing Halo, or some other video game. He's 31, and still loves his games. I'm 28, and a Zelda/Mario fanatic, so I can't say much. I don't go so far as to have a ton of stuff portraying the games though. Just a wall-hanging of Link in the living room, standing in a castle with sword drawn...and a Super Nintendo, N-64, Game Cube, and the Game Boy adapter for the Super Nintendo. Yes, while most women collect purses and shoes, I collect CD's and video games.
I wonder if we'll ever truly grow up....that doesn't really sound like much fun though, and I'd like to be the type of parent when I have children who enjoys watching The Dark Crystal, and The Labyrinth, and building fortresses and such. My own mother used to read to me a lot, and I think that helped to instill my love of fantasy. And hence my being at Elftown. :)
Ok, I'm done for now, I could ramble all night. I hope you are all having a great October :D

It must be noted that I have chosen my favorite guitarist. After twenty-something years of careful consideration, I choose David Gilmour. For those of you not well versed in Classic Rock, he is the guitarist for Pink Floyd. I choose him over Jimmy Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and others from that genre, even Eric Clapton. Now I'm sure that by posting this, I am bound to get a backlash from other Classic Rock lovers, and I'm not saying that the others aren't awesome, but just the style of David Gilmour is so well suited to my own tastes. To hear him play Marooned, or his solos in Dogs, is awestriking to me. *Love*

I was having a nostalgic moment, listening to Tears For Fears-Head Over Heels, when it occured to me that I have a weakness for British boys with big brown eyes. They are so lovely and kind looking. This could very well explain my Duran Duran obsession of yore. I'm sure the accent doesn't hurt either.