So if you were an STI which would you be?

Hokii so, here is de earth, i know what yer thinking, that's a pretty kick ass earth.

    Dear Diary, today i woke up, that must mean today is going to be a wonderful day, then again i have been fooled before, like the time that man said he had candy in his car, when i got in the vehicle we just drove to a shack in the woods and when he realized that i wasn't gay(i kicked him in the balls) he promptly drove me to get ice cream and live with him, I know rezide in the back seat of a rusted out camero.
           Love,
          Kenneth A LaJoice